#justtypicalgenzthings
“god wants me dead but i will not surrender”
“i need to make a playlist for when it’s three am and rap god comes on and you try to rap it but then you messed up and then you stare at your unfinished essay in utter defeat”
“i’m an atheist but this is in gods hands now”
“atticus is a dilf”
“to quote shakespeare, ‘thou art a dick’”
“oh to be an axon terminal”
“if i turn my light off you can’t hear me”
“when I was younger, I wanted to be Mrs. Frizzle when I grew up”
“who needs therapy when you can rant to your students?”
-my friend after our latin teacher recounted his fear of snakes that apparently stemmed from his childhood
“its a date then, but not really a date because we’re just two bisexual besties who like shiny rocks”
-a conversation about going crystal shopping together
“if i do lose my toes that should be rly funny cause then my parents would have the exact average of children Americans have, 1.9”
“my ideal self? tall. skinny. Talks slowly. Moves slowly. Bald. Lives on Kamino.”
“murdering a family member is just a really late abortion”
“sometimes i see a child and the only thing i can think is ‘punt’.”
