#king of the underworld
Hera: Do you like Persephone?
Hades: What? No, I would never.
Hera: So you wouldn’t mind if I set her up-
Hades: I will kill you with my bare hands.
Persephone: *arguing with someone* fight me!
Hades: *behind her holding a knife*
Hades: *mouthing* don’t.
Hades: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?
Persephone: They’re for the dogs.
Hades: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Persephone: They don’t know how.
Hades: So, apparently the “bad vibes” I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.
Poseiden: THIS IS AN INTERVENTION!
Hades:…Excuse me?
Persephone: We’re worried for you, Hades.
Hades: Why? I’m fine!
Hecate: You haven’t slept in two weeks.
Poseidon: You literally dropped your mug today and said “mood” when it broke.
Persephone: You look sad :(
Hades: Guys, I’m fine. I occasionally commit self care.
Hecate: SELF CARE ISN’T LIMITED TO HAIR, Hades.
Hades: CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER HOW FINE MY HAIR IS.
Hecate: DRINK. SOME. WATER!
Hades: There’s water in tea *drinks tea straight from the teapot*
Everybody:NO!
Eros: *opens Persephone’s door* Hey Persephone, do you want to-
Eros:*freezes*
Eros: Persephone, why aren’t you wearing any clothes?
Persephone: I…don’t have any clothes…
Eros: *opens Persephone’s closet*
Eros: What? You have plenty of clothes.
Eros: Like this shirt, this jacket, these pants, oh hi Hades, these shirts, this skirt, oh look at this pretty dress!
Persephone: I know you hate me, Hades, but-
Hades: Wait, what? You think I hate you?
Persephone: You always clam up when I enter the room, and you’re always watching me, and you never want to hang out with me, and you get all tense whenever I walk close to you, and you won’t talk to me in full sentences and-oh, yep, I hear it now, oh my god, you have a crush on me?!
Hades: Babe, babe, do the thing!
Persephone:*smiles*
Hades, breathless: oh my god.
Hades: What’s happening?
Persephone: I think they’re laughing at you.
Hades: That’s never happened before.
Hades:
Hades: I don’t like it.
Hades: *carrying a bath bomb, a pink lemonade, and a handful of cosmic brownies toward the bathroom*
Persephone: *raises an eyebrow*
Hades: *glares* Don’t judge me.
