#incorrect hades and persephone quotes
Hades: ha! you’ll never beat us!
Persephone: YEAH FUCKHEAD
Hades: *visibly shaken* whoa, you’re going a little bit overboard
Persephone: *grinning manically* EAT SHIT AND DIE
*Persephone and Hades arguing*
Hades: You think you’ve got it all figured out, but you have no idea.
Persephone: Whatever you’re planning, it won’t work. Also, that suit makes you look like a sexy orchestra conductor. Here, wave this pen around.
Hades:Focus.
Persephone:Right, we’re fighting.
Persephone: Hades, I’m so happy I could kiss you!
Hades: *nervous laughter*
Hades: Ummm… Neat!
[Later]
Hades: *laying facedown on his bed*
Hades: I can’t believe I said “neat,” Zeus. “Neat.” Nobody says neat anymore! It’s the goddamn 21st century! It’s not neat to say neat, but I said it anyway because I’m a huge loser!
Zeus: *idly turns page to book he’s reading*
Zeus:Hey, don’t beat yourself up. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Hera confessed to me?
Hades: Didn’t you like, thank her?
Zeus: *closes book and stares out the window*
Zeus: I thanked her.
Hera: Do you like Persephone?
Hades: What? No, I would never.
Hera: So you wouldn’t mind if I set her up-
Hades: I will kill you with my bare hands.
Persephone: Who hurt you?
Hades: Do you want a list?
Persephone, cracking her knuckles: Yes, I do.
Zeus: I can’t believe you and Persephone broke the bed last night!
Poseidon: Must have been a wild night.
Hades: Haha… yeah…
[Last night]
Persephone: Bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling!
Hades: Try me!
Persephone: *arguing with someone* fight me!
Hades: *behind her holding a knife*
Hades: *mouthing* don’t.
Hades: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?
Persephone: They’re for the dogs.
Hades: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Persephone: They don’t know how.
Hades: So, apparently the “bad vibes” I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.
Poseiden: THIS IS AN INTERVENTION!
Hades:…Excuse me?
Persephone: We’re worried for you, Hades.
Hades: Why? I’m fine!
Hecate: You haven’t slept in two weeks.
Poseidon: You literally dropped your mug today and said “mood” when it broke.
Persephone: You look sad :(
Hades: Guys, I’m fine. I occasionally commit self care.
Hecate: SELF CARE ISN’T LIMITED TO HAIR, Hades.
Hades: CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER HOW FINE MY HAIR IS.
Hecate: DRINK. SOME. WATER!
Hades: There’s water in tea *drinks tea straight from the teapot*
Everybody:NO!
Eros: *opens Persephone’s door* Hey Persephone, do you want to-
Eros:*freezes*
Eros: Persephone, why aren’t you wearing any clothes?
Persephone: I…don’t have any clothes…
Eros: *opens Persephone’s closet*
Eros: What? You have plenty of clothes.
Eros: Like this shirt, this jacket, these pants, oh hi Hades, these shirts, this skirt, oh look at this pretty dress!
Persephone: I know you hate me, Hades, but-
Hades: Wait, what? You think I hate you?
Persephone: You always clam up when I enter the room, and you’re always watching me, and you never want to hang out with me, and you get all tense whenever I walk close to you, and you won’t talk to me in full sentences and-oh, yep, I hear it now, oh my god, you have a crush on me?!
Hades: Babe, babe, do the thing!
Persephone:*smiles*
Hades, breathless: oh my god.
Hades: What’s happening?
Persephone: I think they’re laughing at you.
Hades: That’s never happened before.
Hades:
Hades: I don’t like it.
Hades: *carrying a bath bomb, a pink lemonade, and a handful of cosmic brownies toward the bathroom*
Persephone: *raises an eyebrow*
Hades: *glares* Don’t judge me.
