States in dark red still have laws on the books that make “sodomy” (oral and anal sex*) illegal; states in red only have laws against same-sex sodomy. These laws are unenforceable due to Lawrence v. Texas(2003), but would go into effect if the ruling were to be overturned. And yes, you read that correctly, 2003!
* Laws in Michigan and South Carolina ban only anal sex, not oral.
It’s not even just that blowjobs were illegal: a lot of sex negative radfem discourse is predicated on the idea that things like blowjobs (or anal sex, or penetrative sex at all, the goalposts keep moving) are inherently degrading and violent. When they say “foul, dangerous shit,” they don’t mean something like scat play, they mean “literally any sex.”
Like, just to illustrate my point, here are some screengrabs from the notes of that post about the guy who went to the hospital because he accidentally ruptured something during a blowjob.
To be clear: at no point was it either said or implied in the original post that the guy was having rough sex, that he was kinky, or literally ANYTHING ELSE other than that he was giving a blowjob. And here come the radfems saying that sex with any man is inherently violent and dangerous. And when someone calls them out on their homophobia, this is their response:
notice how it goes from “how can you say that our concern for this guy in the hospital is homophobic” to “you don’t need to go to the hospital for it to be violent and yes, actually, we ARE saying that any sex with men, including gay men having consensual sex with each other, is inherently violent.”
It’s not just whatever you’re picturing when you think of extremely kinky sex that they consider “foul and dangerous” - they’re defining that to include any sex acts they personally don’t like.
And also? This is why queer people and kinky people have a lot of overlap when it comes to their rights. The laws that criminalize “indecency” and other “damaging” sexual behavior always impact queer people the most, whether that’s a side effect or by design.
I have a post somewhere on my blog talking about a similar radfem post that’s like “bdsm is normalizing extreme violence during sex!” giving a similar story of sex related injury as evidence, where I pointed out that hundreds of people every year are seriously injured or killed slipping and falling in the shower…
ergo, it’s a near certainty that shower sex injures many more people than consensual sexual practices radfems get pearl clutchy about.
The takeaway is that accidental injury during…virtually all physical activities…is really, really common, and it’s super intellectually dishonest to attribute instances of sex-related injuries to Male Violence when literally anything that includes moving your body near another person’s body sends hundreds of people to the ER every year.
lololol I was going back through old posts and looked at the nicknames I gave people and I have quite the collection of ideologies represented (in order of appearance):
Marxman (actually a Marxist)
The Fascist (not actually a fascist)
The Libertarian (the right wing lib I dated in undergrad whose libertarianism was T H I N N and who I only ever referenced like twice but he has a tag so it still counts)
Anti-Feminist Libertarian Boy (yikes)*
Radical Girl (radical as in rad & radical as in radical, still friends, need to see her more)
The Anarchist Economist (a bit on the nose I suppose but I like it)
PS. Goddamn I was (and probably still am, if I get back into doing it often enough) an amazing writer much of the time and even some of the things that don’t necessarily get me hot anymore are really hot when I read the way I wrote about them.
PPS. Holy shit I was into some fucked up shit and wrote out some fucked up fantasies/stories and I totally understand why the kinkshaming radfems came after me, since they apparently they were obtuse enough to think what I was saying was all real (they still suck tho).
PPPS. Check out the second oldest post in my “voting republican” tag (the other posts are good too) for some high quality high concept kink discourse from some (now lost to the ages) amazing tumblr people. Also the fourth paragraph from the bottom in this post where I talk about being forced to vote Libertarian.
PPPPS. Also the tag “academic pillowtalk” yields an amazing post where I masturbate to Marxman talking about Foucault and queer assimilation vs. liberation, and then get off to him kinkshaming me, inspired by the aforementioned radfems.
*ffs I tried to fix the tag issue but this is a trash website so just hit this link (boy oh boy the oldest post in that search)
I talked to Marxman about some of the things that I’ve been thinking and feeling about my tumblr and some of the reactions people have had to it. He made me feel better, so I sent him a nude as thanks, to which he responded “I have 45 minutes before I have to leave for my next class.” We decided to Skype and started to have a conversation about our lives and our pasts and had a little banter within the context of consensual misogyny back and forth. it was just lovely.
While we were talking, I saw that one of the people who’d had a negative reaction to my tumblr had reblogged something from me again. I asked him to tell me not to look at it, because I knew I would and that it would upset me. He said I was not to look at what they said, that no good would come of it. And of course he was right.
We continued talking, and he threw in some Foucault and power, ending by talking about the way the modern LGBT rights movement has been refocused on becoming “normal” with marriage as the goal. Somewhere in the middle, I started touching myself. What can I say? Theory and academic language get me hot, as does discussion of ideas of assimilation vs. liberation.
He called me out and we laughed a bit, and eventually I told him I wanted someone to use the things the kinkshamers had been saying against me, in a sexy way. He gave me permission to cum, and started telling me about all the awful things I was causing and the way I was contributing to making the world a worse place. Eventually he just started reading to me from my blog and sighing at me in a disappointed, disgusted, and little bit condescending way. He’s amazing/awful.
I came hard, listening to him read to me from my own posts, kinkshaming me, using my own words against me, while I imagined him fucking my cunt while doing so.
Then I accidentally saw the post he’d instructed me not to look at, so now I have to go to bed by 11:30. Good night everyone!
HeyBDSMcommunity,pleaseusesafewords!!! In fact, anyone who’s sexually active, use them safewords!!!
ENTHUSIASTICCONSENT!!!WOOO!!!
Enthusiasticinformedsoberconsent.
In other news, no kinkshaming, unless your kink is something that could get you or your partner(s) seriously hurtorkilled!!! Or jailed, try not to go to jail if you can help it.
