#late night thinking
Here I am up at 3am, searching for myself. Searching for a meaning, a purpose. Who I am, who people say I am, who my parents think I am, who I’m meant to be, who I should be.
Such a sin is sweet to confess.
I’m not sure if I believe in God or religion
But you bring me down to my knees.
From this angle I think I can see heaven
-this can’t be hell, no this is all pleasure.
Inspired by Hozier’s Take Me To Church: “there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin.”
“Everyone that you meet from here on out won’t care about you for you…rather they’ll only care about you because of the band you’re in…get use to it my friend." That was the truth that was bestowed upon me by a rather famous friend. How ironic that in my attempts to prove him wrong I would only succeed in proving him right.
I want a reason to still come back. Knowing that life comes with no guarantees, I want you to believe in me. I want you to be my home, I don’t know where I’d go or how I’d get there, but it’s where you’d be.
"Time to let go brother” words from another famous friend. Truth is I’m unprepared to weather this world alone, I'm totally unprepared to weather this adventure that my life will take…
Perhaps I’m holding on too tightly to the people who just aren’t there?
Sorry for my lack of coherence.
I really just wanna get away. Close out the influences in the world. A quiet island, plenteous in Mother Nature’s nutrients. Quiet. No technology to make me dependant, no media to direct my thinking, no news, no stories of crime and violence. Simply, me, the Most High, and the voices of the wind. I want to be one with nature for a day. I want to be dependent on my spiritual strength for a day. I want to know what fruits heal, what vegetables cure, what herbs and grains can repair. I want to feel the earth beneath my feet and have strong soles to travel a million lands like our ancestors. I want to be free of processed foods, man made medicine, man made moisturizers and lather my skin in pure butters of the earth. I want to seek the earth for its wealth. I want to build with my hands and enjoy the kind of life Netflix cannot bring. I want to breathe fresh air. I want to live as a human should…sometimes…or at least for just one day. -Rena
