#leverage lets go steal a queue
I’m making my best friend watch through Leverage with me and jfc I forgot just how much I love this show. I’m sorry barring how lovable the characters are and how cathartic it is to watch them ruin rich people’s lives every episode and it being the best example of the found family trope I’ve ever seen it’s just.
This show is so motherfucking funny.
Like in the Missing Heir Job the mark asks what Parker was doing in the other room and Nate just straight out his ass goes “ummmm stealing! she has a meth problem!” and Parker deadpanning harder than any human has ever deadpanned before goes “I do. I love meth.”
Note that this is after Nate conspicuously keeps trying to loudly work the word “safe” into his convo with the mark to get Parker to stop robbing the guy and come pretend to be the long lost heir of the dude whose inheritance they’re trying to get in the right hands– which the mark buys to such a degree that he immediately tries to have Parker killed.
Nothing is funnier to me than when this group of savant geniuses fall apart in the middle of a con and have to bullshit their way out. Leverage Inc has one brain cell and Sophie has it 95% of the time.
quinn meeting hardison: this nerd is so annoying how many times can i hit him. eliot. pick a number between one and ten
quinn 2 years later, successful graduate of phase 4 of alec hardison’s Hitter Domestication Program, watering his stardew valley crops from his blanket burrito on the couch: it’s just like…imagine if someone was mean to alec. alec our friend alec. eliot wouldn’t that be so fucked up. think abt it….i’d kill them. hey quick come see my new cow her name is mango
Quinn: “Alec! Eliot! Come see my new pig. His name is Nate.”
Eliot: “…I thought you were mad at Nate. Why are you naming your pretend animals after him?”
Quinn: “I am mad at Nate. And if he makes me madder, I’m going to sell pig-Nate so Gus can make him into sausages.”
Alec: “Uh…I–I’m not sure that’s how selling animals works here.”
quinn, texting hardison at 4AM: alec. URGENT 911 is it TRUE that if u marry eliot he moves in. to ur house. and he lives there
hardison, squinting at his phone in the dark, momentarily forgetting that he introduced quinn to stardew valley last week: if you do What
#Quinn would love the mines and fighting#he seems like he might have a vendetta against any villager who ‘saves’ him from the mine and took his stuff[via@scrawlsonblankpaper]
*quinn voice* alec WAKE up i was in the MINES. killing monsters and getting rich and then someone “”“”“saved”“”“” me and took all of my cool shit. are you listening. i was in the mines and clint mugged me and your “”“”“"game”“”“”“ won’t let me mug him back WHAT is leverage inc doing to combat this fucking injustice—
#harvey: dont you feel grateful that someone saved your life#quinn: give me back my fucking MONEY#ur so correct this man spends hours in the mines and anyone who saves him is a COP#a COP and a NARC alec your game is a SCAM#and NOT EVEN THE FUN KIND OF SCAM#finchtalks#things quinn enjoys: cows :3 chickens :3 sword murder :3#things quinn does not enjoy: any villager who is not granny or elliott[via@darkfinch]
Quinn: “Do you know what happened last time I lost a fight and got knocked out? I made a friend. That is how I met my FRIEND, Eliot. How dare all these meddlers come and ‘rescue’ me from the mines and take my stuff in payment for taking me away from my potential FRIENDS?!?!”
Hardison: “…Uh…I don’t think the monsters are sentient–I sure hope they’re not–and I’m pretty sure they’re trying to kill you.”
Hell AU: Comedy Edition
Everyone on the team except Nate (yes, including Sophie), secretly works for Moreau.
They all know the others work for Moreau, but they’re from different divisions with completely different specialties and working styles, so they’ve only ever met any of the others in passing, if at all (possible exceptions being Eliot and Sophie, since I imagine Sophie’s skills would bring her closer to Moreau’s orbit than the others, even if she’s not in his inner circle).
Nate in The Long Good-bye Job: I knew it wasn’t a hospital immediately because hospitals are noisy.
The team in The Order 23 Job: so here’s a mix of background noises to play on a loop outside the hospital room and we’re going to use the PA system combined with that to convince the guy he’s really in a hospital.
Like many parts of Leverage, there were many layers to the conversation in The Long Good-bye Job. One of those layers was Nate telling Sterling and the Feds to their face that his team was better than them because five people pulled off a more convincing hospital con in under an hour than the combined force of multiple federal agencies. (While his team was conning them.)
