Im unhappy and scared working, like I wanna do other things in life than work my whole life away and im so scared im going to mess up or get fired.
Im tired all the time, but when I can go to sleep I cant. I work from 4pm to 9pm some times even past closing, I get home and say up till 1am because I cant sleep and then wake up at 11am.
My manager gave me a choose on work or not working halloween. I have desided not to work halloween but im afraid I have made a bad choose because every one is support to come in.
All I can think about is eather running away or shooting my self in the head because I fear in going to have to work just to survive the rest of my life day in and day out. I want my life to mean something and not just working to get by or working because I have too.
If my life is just going to be like this for the rest of my life I might as well be dead.
Im a artest, I wanna travel the world, I dont wanna worry about money, I want some one to love me, I want people to know who I am, I want life to be as beautiful as movie about love, I wanna wake up in the morning with some one i love and then have tea or cafe with then while rain pitter patters on the window, I want a house full of vintage furniture and art from around the world, I wanna have a little girl or two, I wanna live my life the way I wanna live it.
