So my phone let’s me make my own gifs and I just noticed something while watching Lost Boys last night when Max is kicking them out of his store
DAVID IS TRYING NOT TO LAUGH!
Look at that smug little shit trying to stifle a laugh, I’m absolutely dying here! I love that he’s just cracking up like “Uh, yeah, whatever you say Max.”
Who wants to be the one to tell the boys that when you get takeout you’re supposed to get entrees with the rice and/or noodles?
Alright I’m not expecting cultural accuracy or anything from a bunch of California biker vampires, but cmon who just eats boxes of plain rice?! See, the idea is everyone gets their own rice or noodles, then you take a bit from the meat or vegetable entrees and have it with your rice. That’s why the boxes of rice/noodles/etc are usually way bigger than the entrees. So you got your orange chicken, beef and broccoli, whatever and share it around. I don’t know why but I get so distracted seeing David lap down the most plain looking chow mein on this green Earth. No cabbage, no carrots- I swear it’s just spaghetti! Meanwhile the guys are just horking down plain ass rice without even any soy sauce. I’m dying here man. Cmon y'all have some uber vampire power to hypnotize the cashier or something, I saw that big ol’ tray of food Marko came back with! There is no way you’re struggling so much you can only get plain rice and chow mein Someone please help these boys expand their tastes. “Chinese, good choice”, uhhhh where? That there be unseasoned pasta, darling.
Complete side note but I love that David and Marko use chopsticks, poking around but all the while Paul and Dwayne just stuffing globs of rice into their mouths with their bare hands (no doubt caked in dirt and motor oil) like a pack of toddlers. Max, my god, “boys need a mother” indeed! Yeah, no shit you got them eating like monkeys who got ahold of a take-out menus. Forks, boys, forks! I promise “a billion Chinese people” will forgive you if you don’t use chopsticks!
I shudder to picture them when they get ahold of something REALLY messy like barbecue or some real gnarly turbo dogs.
I can see it now: Paul balancing a soggy cardboard tray of greasy fries on his lap, smearing mustard off his chin until its across his cheek and laughing with a mouth full of burger. Before he’s even done chewing he nearly chokes on his fries cuz he’s scarfing them down like it’s going out of style.
Then there’s Dwayne devouring three burgers because he’s just a bear in human form. Since he’s allergic to shirts he’ll later find an army of crumbs in the waist of his jeans. He tries to hold his milkshake between his legs but of course it’s too tight and he just explodes it on himself. Solution? Just wiping it off with some greasy rag covered in motor oil and sweat.
As someone with long hair I can attest he definitely accidentally gets his hair in it and just hopes he can brush it out once it dries. I don’t doubt all of the boys have managed to get their hair in their food resulting in ketchup blondes and mustard brunette. Dwayne complains about finding long blonde hair in his chili fries and it’s just a game of “wasn’t me”. Paul has eaten so fast he ends up inhaling some of his hair and just gagging on it while everyone busts out laughing
Marko has scraps and crumbs all over himself it’s like a snow day when he stands up. Pigeons just gather at his feet pecking at the remains of his massacred hot dog bun, following him around waiting for his next meal. I can see him doing something really odd like dissecting his onion rings before eating them or only biting the centers of french fries, having to open up his burger and throw the pickles, pissed when theres mushrooms on pizza because “the taste fuckin’ lingers, man!”.
David gets barbecue sauce in his mustache, theres crumbs in his beard that’s basically a “flavor saver” at this point, still refuses to takes his gloves on because food schmood he’s not ruining that juicy ✨aesthetic✨ . Definitely has his hotdog slip out of the bun and just splat! Mustard and relish coated weiner smack dab on his crotch causing the boys to laugh until he chucks the soggy, squashed bun at Paul. Tries to be dignified even when he’s tearing into sauce slathered ribs.
Just remember these are hundred year old teenage boys, I refuse to believe they havent just devolved into absolute savages when it’s just them eating.
