Reasons why someone might identify as “loveless” aromantic
Note: I don’t ID as loveless, this is just a collection of what I’ve seen loveless aros say. Add on if you’d like.
The concept of love has been so intertwined with romantic love to the point where they find two two hard to separate
They don’t believe that love makes us human
They’ve faced abuse by people who used “love” as an excuse for their actions
Every time they say that they’re left out of conversations about love, they’re faced with “love doesn’t have to be romantic” to disregard their oppression or the exclusion they’ve faced (e.g. aromantics are usually left out of “love is love” to represent the entire queer community, and every time we bring this up, we’re always faced with “love isn’t always romantic!!” to erase us, when the phrase “love is love” literally is only about romantic love outside of these conversations)
They don’t believe loving someone automatically means anything, and it’s just too vague for them (e.g. does “I love you” mean that they want the best for you, they just like having you around, or they appreciate you as a person but wouldn’t do anything for you?)
They’re neurodivergent and have always been scolded or punished for not “loving” in a specific way
They’re reclaiming their agency to define love for themselves
They feel that “We can still love!!” isn’t helpful because aromanticism isn’t a lack of anything that needs to be made up for, and they want to be respected simply for not loving
They don’t like being attached to this capitalized concept of love
They have a disorder/disability that limits their ability to feel or understand certain emotions, which may encompass certain forms of love, or the way that they “love” is just so different that no one really appreciates it
Their reasons are personal or not on this list, but still valid
Remember that lovelessness is entirely valid. To not relate to the concept of love, or to simply not love, is okay, and you aren’t missing anything. The reasons why someone might ID as loveless aren’t really our business, so if they say they don’t love, respect that.
Hello! I have made a survey to gather data on the loveless aro community, which you can takeHERE. There isn’t a set date for when the survey will be closed, as that depends on how much data I can gather. Results will be posted on this blog.
Both loveless aros and aromantics who do not identify as loveless can participate. Loveless aros will mainly be asked their reasons for using the loveless label, and a few personal opinions regarding the community. Non-loveless aromantics will mainly be asked about their opinions regarding the label of loveless aro. Both groups will be given demographic questions. In the case of loveless aros, the demographic questions aim to find trends within the loveless community, while the same demographic questions for non-loveless aros may serve as a control sample.
Also, as I’ve been asked this before, all people on the aromantic spectrum are welcome to participate, regardless of the specific labels they use.
