Summary: Ace Cheung is from a prestigious school in Singapore. He finds himself fascinated by a boy who plays sepak takraw like an angel. Despite their different backgrounds, the boys slowly become more than just normal friends.
Summary: This is a story about nanobots, genetic engineering, and two girls falling in love. No matter how technology changes us, we’ll always be human.
Summary: At St. Lucas, a school for super kids, explosions and bullets are the least of the students problems. Struggling with mental illness, trauma, and identity, they’re more comforted being blasted through a wall. This follows a group of students and staff members and explores these topics mixed in a universe with meta-humans
Summary:Wynn is struggling to survive when the Immortal Swigne gives Wynn their Blessing. The only explanation Swigne gives is that Wynn now has “Power”. Wynn meets people Blessed by other Immortals that can help guide them. In searching for knowledge of their new gift Wynn finds love, friendship and a more full sense of self identity. Wynn learns that being Blessed is a gift with a price tag of responsibilities and constant hunger attached, but the pay off is fantastic strength and the resources they’ll need to thrive in the world they live in. As long as Wynn keeps overcoming the challenges their new status brings them.
Summary:A webcomic that takes place in a world destroyed by the Gods, following the journey of a homeless trio who takes on a job to help two brothers from a prestigious family hunt down an infamous terrorist group, Butterfly Blue.
Summary: Tula is a student just trying to get through her senior year of college. Little does she know that her new rental is inhabited by demons. Juggling her social life and these new roommates should be no problem.
Summary: A witch is involuntarily forced to help a prince break a curse- a curse a fellow witch set upon him. These complete opposites will have to set aside their differences to reach a common goal, and maybe gain each other’s trust on the way.
Summary: Scott works for The Belt, a black market company that deals in harvesting and trading human organs. His boss and partner (in crime), Lars Van Allen is heir to the organization but lacks certain abilities to properly run a business.
Summary:It’s 1852, and Clara Adams has had her future planned out for her: find and marry a proper young man, then settle in for a life of quiet obedience and domestic bliss. She’s resigned to her fate, until a bout of curiosity leads to her untimely murder, and resurrection, at the hands of monsters that she’d never dreamed might be more than fictional. Death brings Clara unexpected freedom, along with new dangers and the sudden weight of responsibility. Thrust into unlife with no way back, Clara has to learn quickly, for her unique gift might tip the scales in the secret war against her murderer for control of all London!
Summary:Hellebore is an urban fantasy webcomic about a young witch trying to overcome some of life’s greatest obstacles: customer service, family drama, and making new friends. But something terrible is brewing on the horizon.
Summary: Heroes of Thantopolis is a fantasy action-adventure comic about Cyrus, a young boy who was transported to the titular City of the Dead under mysterious circumstances. The conniving queen of the realm, Helene, taps Cyrus as her Champion and enlists him to fight against three wicked ghosts interested in taking over the city, in exchange for sending Cyrus home and getting his memories back. Luckily, Cyrus doesn’t have to do it alone. Along with his new ghost friends, Cyrus explores the afterlife, fights bad guys and unravels mysteries. Can Cyrus save Thantopolis? And is it really that his arrival in the city was random? Or is there more to Cyrus than it seems…?
Summary:Ignition Zero is an urban fantasy comic about a group of friends who get mixed up with faeries and spirits! It takes place in the fictitious city of Glory, Maryland in the fall of 2011, and covers the adventure Robbie, Orson, Neve, and Martin have with their friend, a spirit they call Ivory. Only Ivory–and those they’ve been defending her from–may not be what she seems. There isn’t always a clear right or wrong side to a story…
Summary: Deep within Nairobi, a plot to drain the people of their uniqueness and aspirations is underway. The only ones who can truly stop them are a group of young people known as the Spectrum of Hope.
Summary:Les Normaux follows the life of a bunch of supernatural beings living in Paris after a human wizard named Sebastien moved to the city. They each tell their own side of the story in their respective diaries.
Summary: Es, a half fey girl from a small New Zealand town, suddenly gets caught up in the world of the sidhe – which are a whole lot closer than she realised.
Summary: Pun-loving teenager Claire Voyant wasn’t expecting death to be so confusing. Instead of peacefully moving on, she finds herself embroiled in underworld politics, with a new job that’s more dangerous than she’s ready for. Meanwhile, her brother Jared tries to make sense of his sister’s death and piece together his family’s legacy as he runs from the supernatural forces that want him dead.
Summary:No End is a webcomic about a group of people struggling to survive in a post apocalyptic country ravaged by an unyielding winter and hordes of undead. Living amid a world of horror doesn’t erase the cast’s day-to-day worries about identity, family, friendship and betrayal, as they seek people they can trust, as well a legendary place called “Haven” rumored to be free of the cold and horror.Just as none of them are sure that it even exists, they aren’t sure what their place in their world is. But each step forward leads towards who they are, who they should become, and where they belong.
Summary: Five twenty-somethings have just found out they’re not human: they’re actually changelings, magical beings swapped with humans as babies. As such, they frequently venture into the magical Otherworld to figure out whoandwhat they are, while still tackling their life in the human world, and making new friends and foes along the way.
Summary: In Ark Hana, signa rule the streets after nightfall, but aren’t afraid to puff their chests in daylight, either. After a quick dance with death, Nicholas Morello finds himself in the arms of Leo Rothstein, who not only saves his life, but intends to stick around for the long haul. Becoming friends and eventual lovers, Nick and Leo discover more about each other than they know about themselves. The two are forced to cease contact when Nick is arrested on account of murder.
Nero, ruler over Ark Hana and Commander in Chief of Nightingale, the organization created to fight signa, offers Nick a job with him in exchange for his death sentence. No other way around it, Nick accepts, but when ready to confront Leo, discovers he’s disappeared.
Now burdened with newfound responsibility and power, Nick sets off with his appointed team to uncover clues about Leo’s whereabouts-discovering the Morello family’s sketchy past involving Nightingale along the way, and realizing Nick never was as normal as he strived to be.
Summary: Everyone has felt like the world is against them and for someone who has come to the realization that they’re queer it can be even more overwhelming. Experience the struggles of LGBT+ youth as they try to be themselves in a world that tells them they shouldn’t
Summary:Questables is a comedic fantasy webcomic following a dwarven monk, Robin, as she embarks on her first big quest! As she travels she meets plenty of folks on the road, and soon enough her one-woman mission turns into a tight knit family adventure. Questables is filled with good vibes and domestic moments, and pays homage to many classic tabletop RPG elements.
Summary:Hitting the road on a journey of self discovery and acceptance, this coming-of-age tale gives a backstage look at friendships and the plights of fame as experienced by a modern British rock band.On the fast track toward fame, the five members of the fictional British rock band, Radio Silence, enter into an exciting new life on the road with their best friends. As they tour across the United Kingdom, they excitedly embrace this new lifestyle and all the resulting challenges, including living in close quarters with each other with little privacy, and the overwhelming reaction of the public to their new-found success.
Summary:Lucas Wen prides himself on being the most practical and realistic person you’ll ever meet. Which is why it’s a bit of a shock when he finds out not only that his cousin Robin is a witch, but he’s just taken a job in the most supernaturally saturated neighborhood in New York City.
Meanwhile, Roe, a young woman with a suitcase full of odd weapons and perhaps a few too many secrets, thinks things are finally going her way again when she finds a place to live other than her cousin’s couch in the form of Robin’s spare room.
Before either of them can get both feet under them again, the sudden disappearance of Robin’s girlfriend, Penelope, shakes them all. Lucas, despite his best attempts to adjust to his new fantastical reality, finds that there’s really only so much that even the most practical mind can take, and Roe fears whether their new troubles are something that followed her to the ‘Quarter, or were already there.
Summary:Deserters escape to the swamp from a soon-to-be cult and get involved in a dispute between the swamp’s magic inhabitants, who all seem to have ulterior motives. Has some violence.
Summary: When a zombie apocalypse hits during the practice of a high school basketball team, it’s a whole new life for the coach, Jeff. The world’s turned upside down and the girls seem to be handling the changes way better than Jeff, who has troubles adjusting. A close-knit group of friends, the girls are eager to tackle this new world with its challenges!
Summary: In the business-driven city of Singmire, jobless Finch quietly copes with life, until he gets to discover that his online boyfriend happens to be a changeling stuck in a childish body. As if it weren’t enough, aside from trying to cure himself, Soot also has plans to restore social justice in a decaying elven society…
Summary:In this interactive comic you play the roll of a man who wakes up in a white room remembering not even his name. As the “game” goes on, you will have to choose between various options, and whatever you choose will be crucial to whether you can keep going or die. So, wanna play?
Summary: Being legally dead is causing Razi some problems, and xer only chance of escape from bureaucratic limbo will involve a dangerous trek through wolfcat territory. Meanwhile, Halvanylila is supposed to be learning to hunt and fight, but it’s hard to concentrate when there are fascinating plants to be scienced at.Now they’re both lost in the middle of nowhere, and they’ll need each other’s help and unique expertise to find their way out.One problem: those wolfcats. Oh, wait, and a troupe of bandits? Two problems. But hey, as long as nothing else goes wrong …
Summary: Walker is tired. Every night he dreams of wandering around the city and sees things that are happening while he’s asleep. Night after night his life seems to fall apart further and further, but it’s just a dream, right?
Summary: Three kids make an ill-advised (but well-intentioned) deal with a demon in the woods one day. Twenty years later, Levi, Rowan, and Alder meet again to find out their past has caught up to them. But a lot changes in twenty years, and they aren’t as innocent as they used to be.
If you enjoy any of these webcomics I encourage you to reblog this post or reblog their works. Most if not all of the comics mentioned rely on word of mouth to grow their audiences. All of these wonderful creators deserve to have their stories seen and heard and you can help by spreading the word!
Reminder that aromantic awareness week is coming up! February 19 - 25 I will be bringing back some of my old aromantic posts from previous years but I invite anyone on the aro spectrum to talk about it and tell their story throughout the week!
We all know the push at the start of last year. We wanted to be recognized. We wanted to be talked about. We wanted to be taken seriously. We helped change the popular definition of aromantic to be “little to no romantic attraction” to include more people. But at the beginning of last year, there was another push. A push to push aros who have romantic attraction out of their labels.
It started off pretty small. Individuals getting sick and tired of “aros and arospecs” but getting told they were using arospec wrong when they claimed this identity for themselves. “Arospec is for anyone who is on the aromantic spectrum! Including aromantic people!” Then why are you calling us that. Then why are you using it to distance us from your community.
I am using that word because you called us that, to make us seem like we aren’t one of you. You gave us a label, thank you. But also, fuck you for trying to take it away. I get told again I can’t use it that way. I give up, I have no label, and I feel isolated.
Thanks, aros.
The argument continues. I call myself aro. I get told that the word only means no attraction ever. I get told it’s not my word. It’s not my word. I get told I don’t belong under that identity. I get told to use arospec. I dont want to use arospec, you told me I was using it wrong. I start hearing things you dont realize you are saying.
“Arospec is for the whole community, use that if you want to talk about the community as a whole. You aren’t aro. Don’t call yourself that. Aro is not an umbrella term, and arospec doesn’t mean you. It’s not your word.You have no language. The common language we use to refer to ourselves and you isn’t for you. It’s not yours.You can’t call yourself what we’re calling you, and you can’t use the only word we use to talk about the community.”
Again, I have no label, I feel isolated. But this time, I get angry. I get PISSED. I stand my ground, and I defend us. I flip the script, aros get pissed, and then… And then. The post. The damn fucking post.
A word lost to discourse: greyromantic. “This is what you are.” This damn post was sent to me every time I talked about being shoved out of the aromantic community. “Look! There is a word for you!” This damn post was sent to me every time I talked about being told my language was wrong. “You can use this word instead! No need to use ours.” This damn post was sent to me any time I brought up the treatment of partnering and sometimes-romo aros. “Why don’t you just use this word instead? See? We’re listening to and supporting you.” This damn post was used again and again and again by people who HAVE NO PLACE to tell me what my identity can be.
This post specifically was used to talk over me. This post was used to silence my voice. OUR voices. This post was used, primarily by aros who have never experienced romantic attraction, primarily by aros who will never fall under this umbrella, to tell me what I am. To tell me what I can and cannot be. To tell me that my language was wrong and I cannot use the language I had been using for myself.
and I won’t fucking use that label.
So what labels do I use? What label do I like? Why do I like them?
I go by romo aro. It was a private word me and my microcommunity had been using this whole time, that by the end I started promoting and making content for. This is my favorite and preferred label, because it can cover anyone who fits outside of the stereotypical aro alignment. Sometimes-romo, romo favorable, partnering, polyaff/polyam, queerplatonic aros, aros who enjoy romo content. and Anyone who would’ve been shoved under that “arospec” umbrella instead of aro. This word is inclusive, this word is radical, and this word can mean me, no matter what that means for me in that moment.
I use this word mostly because it is the only label that no one else forced onto me, and I will never force it onto anyone else. I prefer it because it is, and always has been, mine. I always had a choice, and it never belonged to anyone else. This word is mine, and I will not let anyone take it away from me.
I also use aro. While people kept arguing against me, for I while I just dropped talking about my identity as a romo aro altogether. I went by aro because it was easier and because it can be an umbrella term. The definition started shifting to mean “little to no romantic attraction” and I am forever grateful. This is a word I’ll keep, because no one forced it on me, and because people told me I couldn’t. Using this word was an act of defiance, and using this word was an act of belonging and assimilation. And now people recognize that this word can also belong to me.
And finally… I use arospec. It took me months (and by months i mean about 7 to be able to comfortably use it again) but this word was the first word I identified with. Public perception of this word has shifted, and people recognize that it can mean multiple things. People recognize that arospecs are allowed to talk about their experiences under this label, including how aros have wronged them. Slowly, people are able to recognize that this was a word used for aros to distance us from themselves, and that this was the first word a lot of us had. This word is a good label, and while it started as a reclamation, now it’s solid identity that people can recognize as being separate and different from the umbrella term. And that’s really really good.
I want to say I don’t hate the creator of that post. I don’t hate aros and greyros. But you NEED to start listening to romo aros and arospecs.When we say something is hurting us, people need to believe us and learn to start recognizing damaging language. And there CANNOT be tolerance in the aromantic community for people who will talk over people- especially aromantic minorities. And the aromantic community as a whole HAS to shut down and learn to STOP telling people if their identityandlabelisvalid or not. I HAVE to stop seeing people in my notifications saying that my words are wrong. It HAS to stop. There was a mass exodus of arospecs last year around this time. My whole microcommunity is gone, and a huge portion of the community is missing, with most aros not even noticing. We HAVE to fix things for them. We NEED to make sure that will never happen again. We NEED to make sure that arospecs of all sorts belong.
This community does not have the time or space or numbers to be exclusionary and perpetuating erasure. It’s needs to stop. It’s time to start listening to arospecs. It’s time to start respecting people who have long since been ignored. It’s time the aro community takes a stand with us.
The aro community has grown, but it’s time to start doing more than what passive little it has recently learned to do. It’s time. Grow more. Take a stand.
This is completely right. When I started this blog, there were absolutely no resources for aromantics who weren’t strictly no-attraction. And since then I have seen pushback against aromantics who do.
The most important thing about a label is not what it means to other people. The most important thing is what it means to you. None of us experience life the same way. None of us experience attraction the same way. None of us experience non-attraction the same way. We don’t even experience the things we see and hear and taste the same way, let alone something as complex as the hormones that our brains sent hurtling throughout our circulatory systems.
I am reblogging this in solidarity for people who don’t feel comfortable identifying as grayromantic or arospec rather than just aro. Your journey is your own. Your self belongs to you, and you are not hurting me or anyone else by using a different word to describe yourself. You are not hurting non-attraction aromantics by using the same word. You have my support.
Asexual Aros Allosexual Aros Trans Aros Nonbinary Aros Lesbian Aros Gay Aros Bisexual Aros Pansexual Aros Autistic Aros Disabled Aros Aros of Color Closeted Aros Out and Proud Aros Romance-Repulsed Aros Romance-Indifferent Aros Romance-Favorable Aros Younger Aros Older Aros Christian Aros Muslim Aros Jewish Aros Aros of All Faiths Aros across the Ace-Spectrum Aros Across the Aro-Spectrum
Cupioromantic flag! Cupioromantic is a label for aromantic people who want romantic relationship(s). All photos used are my own, please credit if you re-use.
[Image description: a 3 by 3 moodboard. The top row has light, soft pink flowers with a pink dahlia with yellow highlights in the middle. The center row has fluffy white clouds on the left and sunlight reflecting white off the water on the right. In the center is the cupioromantic flag, which is from top to bottom soft pink, soft light pink, white, light purple, and grey. The bottom row has soft purple flowers on the left and right with snowy tree branches in the middle.]
Aroflux Moodboard! All photos used are my own, please credit me if you re-use. All please feel free to let me know if you know who created the flag
[Image description: a 3 by 3 moodboard. The top row has bright red and pink photos of fall leaves and flowers. The middle row has a photo of a bright red flower on a green background and green grass with a small pink flower in it, around a center flag. The flag has five stripes and is a gradient from bright red-pink at the top and bright green at the bottom. The bottom row of the moodboard has close up images of leaves and grass lit bright green by sunlight. End description.]
Romo aro moodboard. I can’t find a link to the post of the original creator (update: a-romantic–aromantic reached out to let me know they are one of the creators). From what I understand romo aro is for romance favorable aros/aros who want romance or aromantic spectrum people who experience some amount of romantic attraction.
[Image description: a 3 by 3 moodboard. At the center is the romo aro flag, which is the aromantic flag (dark green, light green, white, light grey, and black stripes from top to bottom) with two thin pink stripes in framing the middle white stripe. In the middle row around the flag are photos of a pink rose in sunlight surrounded by greenery and a bright, light pink dahlia against an off-white background.
The top row from left to right is a photo of two hands with hearts on the back touching each other over green grass, thick dark green foliage and grass, and light green leaves in sunlight. The bottom row from left to right is a photo of a bright white moon through leaves in a black sky, two small fireworks against a black sky, and finally a small streak of pink sunset over black backlit mountains. End description.]
happy aromatic awareness week everyone!! this community is my favorite ever <33
valentines day was rough this year, my best friend, who i happen to love queerplatonically, left my school and now i won’t see him as much and i was just so alone and sad on feb 14, but then i had a bit of an aro reawakening (im aroflux) and im just so grateful for you all for making me feel like i have somewhere where i belong. hope everyone has a great week!!
Welcome, all, to 2020! I am very pleased to announce that I am hosting this month’s Carnival of Aros. The Carnival of Aros is a month-long recurring blogging festival where arospec bloggers on different platforms make posts about a particular theme. More information on the event and past themes can be found HERE.
The theme this month is “New.”
Submissions can be anything having to do with this theme. Even if it’s tangentially related or stretching it a bit; feel free to be creative. In case you’re low on ideas and want a starting point for inspiration, here are some prompts that may help you out:
New things you have learned since discovering aromanticism (about yourself, about aromanticism, about other arospec people, about the queer community in general, etc.)
New things you have learned since interacting with the aro community (about yourself, about aromanticism, about other arospec people, about the queer community in general, etc.)
New experiences you’ve had since learning about aromanticism and/or discovering your own aromanticism (e.g., new types of relationships, new types of feelings, new vocabulary that you found described you, new conversations you’ve had with others)
New aro or aro-coded content you have come across that you want to share or critique
Your post can be in any format: prose, poetry, visual art, music, audio recording, video, photo essay, Morse code, et cetera. To make sure I see your post, reply to this post with a link, send in an ask, or make a submission. If you wish to remain anonymous or don’t have a blog of your own that you want to post this on, you can let me know in a submission or ask and I will repost the text myself to keep your identity confidential.
I am accepting submissions until 12am EST on February 1st, 2020. I intend to post a roundup on February 3rd. Because of my schedule, I might miss late submissions. Feel free to post late submissions anyway and tag them with “carnival of aros” for others to see, though.
[Image Description: A white rectangle with curved corners overlaid on a graphic of an aromatic flag with wavy lines demarking each color of the flag. On the upper left corner of the rectangle, there is a large quotation mark. On the lower right of the rectangle, there is the AUREA logo. In the middle of the rectangle, there is text that says “Feb 26, 2pm (ET). Fundraiser Livestream, ASAW 2022. https://youtu.be/tT1GDtwfpvw. Featured guests: TeseThePoet, AUREA Team Q&A, Derelict.Specter"]
Next up in our Aspec Voices series is Aros who have been in or want romantic relationships! Thanks to everyone wo contributed, including @a-romantic–aromantic!
These graphics feature some quotes from the article, which you can read in full here: https://taaap.org/2022/02/24/asaw-22-aros-romance/
[ID: “I really enjoy affection and the act of being cared for in a romantic way, but I also need my partners to understand that I don’t have relationship hierarchies in my head- I don’t value them more than my friends. “ - Alex. “Ideally I wouldn’t live with my partner, we’d have our own space, and they’d understand I’m seeking intimacy and closeness more than romance and sex.” - Ky. “I largely try to stay away from it, but I’ve seen quite a bit of anti-romance sentiment coming from some aro people, and I understand ranting about it, I understand wanting nothing to do with it, but the homophobic, racist, and ableist implications of being anti-romance make me uncomfortable.” - Magpie.
“Being aromantic affects a lot of aspects of my relationships. Since I’m aroflux, my orientation switches around a lot. I’ll go from being romantically attracted to someone to suddenly wanting no romance at all.“ - Mars Naomi. “You don’t need to be hungry to think the cake looks delicious. You don’t need to feel a romantic attraction to want to do the cutesy mushy romantic stuff. - Amalthæ. “[Aromanticism] also means I am barely ever interested in someone despite pretty much constantly wanting to be which is frustrating.” - Theo. End ID.]
In 2021, there were a total of 6 states and cities that recognized Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week. While government recognition is not required for any community or their events, it helps to lay the groundwork for inclusive policy, and brings greater awareness to the public of the identity and community.
[ID: Two infographics with the heading “ASAW Official Recognition”. The first one reads “Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is coming up on February 20 - February 26, 2022! Official government recognition of ASAW can do several things: Raise awareness of aromantic identities among the public. Provide a building block to request future legislation cover aromantic people. Make aromantic people feel seen and accepted in their home!”
The second reads “If you want to apply for official recognition from your local government, just follow these simple steps: 1. Have an address in the relevant location. 2. Check the deadline for proclamation requests. 3. Contact any organization you would like to sponsor the proclamation. 4. Copy and paste our template into the request form. 5. Wait for a response, and follow up!” End ID.]
Reasons why someone might identify as “loveless” aromantic
Note: I don’t ID as loveless, this is just a collection of what I’ve seen loveless aros say. Add on if you’d like.
The concept of love has been so intertwined with romantic love to the point where they find two two hard to separate
They don’t believe that love makes us human
They’ve faced abuse by people who used “love” as an excuse for their actions
Every time they say that they’re left out of conversations about love, they’re faced with “love doesn’t have to be romantic” to disregard their oppression or the exclusion they’ve faced (e.g. aromantics are usually left out of “love is love” to represent the entire queer community, and every time we bring this up, we’re always faced with “love isn’t always romantic!!” to erase us, when the phrase “love is love” literally is only about romantic love outside of these conversations)
They don’t believe loving someone automatically means anything, and it’s just too vague for them (e.g. does “I love you” mean that they want the best for you, they just like having you around, or they appreciate you as a person but wouldn’t do anything for you?)
They’re neurodivergent and have always been scolded or punished for not “loving” in a specific way
They’re reclaiming their agency to define love for themselves
They feel that “We can still love!!” isn’t helpful because aromanticism isn’t a lack of anything that needs to be made up for, and they want to be respected simply for not loving
They don’t like being attached to this capitalized concept of love
They have a disorder/disability that limits their ability to feel or understand certain emotions, which may encompass certain forms of love, or the way that they “love” is just so different that no one really appreciates it
Their reasons are personal or not on this list, but still valid
Remember that lovelessness is entirely valid. To not relate to the concept of love, or to simply not love, is okay, and you aren’t missing anything. The reasons why someone might ID as loveless aren’t really our business, so if they say they don’t love, respect that.
If anyone’s looking for some good allosexual-aro rep, i just finished The Liar’s Guide to the Night Sky last night, and absolutely loved Jonah. Who is one of the main characters and pan, aro and polyam.
The book is about two characters trying to survive on a mountain after a mudslide and being separated from the rest of their group when they go try to find help.
As aros, we tend to be quite aware of amatonormativity, but it might be hard to explain or give concrete examples of it, especially when explaining it to alloromantics. This guide and workbook aims to explain what amatonormativity is by giving examples of how it manifests and how it can be harmful. Through a series of exercises and reflections, people can learn to better identify and challenge amatornomativity. There are also a number of sources and narratives to help people understand its impact and learn from lived experiences. The worbook is aimed at (monogamous) alloromantic folks, but could be useful for aros who are struggling with internalized amatonormativity.
There are currently five versions of the guide/workbook:
Digital workbook (fillable PDF)
Printer-friendly workbook (printable PDF)
Google Docs version
Youtube (audio with CC)
Downloable MP3
The workbook can be found on here on my WordPress. Feel free to share it, especially with people in your life who could benefit from learning about amatonormativity.
A thanks and a shout-out to those who helped, including @aroace-avenue.
This is an amazing guide written by an amazing person! Finding ways to introduce alloromantics to amatonormativity and to have them actually spend time thinking about it deeply is really hard. This is a starting point to get them going!
Something a bit more heavy, about amatonormativity…
Image transcription:
Image 1: Amatonormativity (The assumption that everyone needs to be in a lifelong monogamous romantic (and sexual) relationship, and the social expectations and pressure to live up to it) Fucking SUCKS!!
(for literally everyone — so let’s all kill that fucker) said by cartoons (one has a knife and is ready to kill)
and here’s some of my experience with it:
Image 2: Children….
(annoyed cartoon character talking to small shadow)
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- No.
- Then do you have any crushes?
- No.
- What? I don’t believe you. You’re lying.
- Why would I??
Image 3: Adults….
(uneasy cartoon character talking to tall shadow)
- So have you found someone yet?
- No, I’m not looking either.
- Don’t worry, you still have time.
- I’m not worried, I’m fine like that.
- You’ll see in a couple years.
Image 4: ….or even myself…
(cartoon character is overwhelmed by various amatonormative thoughts and is in distress)
Image 5:
(cartoon character is sitting in the middle, making a peace sign)
I wish I could say something uplifting and inspirational on how to fight it…
But I’m still figuring that part out for myself…
Just don’t act like being single is the worst thing you could imagine
This is kind of a personal project of mine! I wasn’t sure if I would ever publish it, but I also really want feedback on it. The main idea was to create a fairy tale with an aromantic character as the protagonist, and make it relevant to the story.
So I made up this little tale about love, beauty, and understanding.
Details are left ambiguous since the goal was to write a fairy tale, also known as something easily reinterpreted and transformed while maintaining the core intact. I wrote it in one go about a year ago and I tried to correct some mistakes before putting it out there, tho some may have slipped under the radar.
A warning before you read, there is some arophobic comments.
Long ago, there existed a beautiful place where riches and splendours lined the walls. Many sought it out, looking for fortune, fame, and sometime love, as the place was rumoured to be inhabited by the most beautiful creatures you could lay eyes upon. But despite all its allure, the place was cursed, few returned alive and even fewer sane. For this place was a trap, laid by a deity that was fueled by mankind’s adoration of itself. Trapped in luxury, surrounded by splendours and even the shadows of past loves, they willingly stayed in the illusion, feeding the creature and making it’s power more potent. With time, the reputation of this place as cursed settled, and instead came warriors seeking to defeat the beast lurking the walls. None succeeded, tempted by what the deity offered them.
One day, a warrior came to seek the deity. They remained unfazed by their illusions and trickery, and finally confronted the entity. They had not come here with the intention to fight it or rob it. But to negotiate, to free its victim and end its reign. The deity was intrigued by this strange person. They had not succumbed yet, but it was only a matter of time as its power was great and it appreciated a challenge. It had corrupted the mind of many already, this one shall be no exception.
It tried appealing to their greed, but the warrior had been a simple labourer, happily satisfied with what few they owned. It tried appealing to their sloth, but they couldn’t imagine a day where they wouldn’t want to create and make things on their own. it tried appealing to their lust, but they remained unfazed as the entity showed them beautiful men and women aplenty. It was growing impatient. It was beauty incarnate, and no one could not love it. Adore it. But it had a trick even the strongest mind could not resist. Invading their mind, it saw the people they cared about, the people they loved. And it took their form. Before the warrior’s eyes, people from their simple life started appearing. Their parents and neighbours, their childhood friends. But the warrior saw through its tricks. For it had rendered them beautiful, perfect, hollow.
It grew frustrated, trying everything in its power to sway them, but they did not falter.
“I AM BEAUTY” it screamed, “and I will make you adore me”
“You are not. You’re hollow. You do not understand true beauty” spoke the warrior.
The deity grew angry at this, and it considered trying to kill them and be over with it. But it’s ego was great, and it had been hurt. How could somebody not love it? Surely they must be a heartless monster. But it wanted, no it Needed to be Adored by All. and so it talked with the warrior, asking them about what they found beautiful. The warrior explained how they found imperfections beautiful, how the quirks of something rendered it unique. They talked about the beauty of actions, of landscapes, of words, of arts. And so the entity tried to lure them with what it had learned they found beautiful. But it never worked.
The deity started following the warrior, obsessed at the idea of making them love it. The warrior was happy with this, as others were finally freed from its reign. Slowly, it became more agreeable, nicer, focusing on actions and words rather than appearances. It took the form of a plain person instead of a magnificent one. It began noticing imperfections and appreciating them instead of trying to get rid of them. It was learning how to love, and it was starting to fall in love with the warrior. They had spent months together, and the deity had fallen completely for them. It had become beautiful in a true way, and people started adoring it for what it was. It did not need traps and illusions to get what it wanted. But one thing still resisted its beauty. The warrior did not desire it. It tried everything to make them love it, but they never would admit to it, and it never felt that they loved it the way others did. It grew frustrated again, being loved by all but the one it loved.
“I am beautiful now”
“You are”
“Then why don’t you love me?”
“I do not love anyone, not my parents, not my neighbours, not my friends, and not even you.”
The entity got scared. It had been right.
“You must be a heartless monster, not loving anyone like you do.”
“I do not love people, but I find them beautiful. I enjoy their company and their presence, their impact on the world and how they make it even more beautiful by existing.”
“Then you do love them”
“I do not. I appreciate them in my own way. Many do not understand how, I don’t expect you to”
“I want you to appreciate me even if I don’t understand you”
“I already do”
And so the deity started noticing how they had been treating it, the gestures, the gifts and the time they had spent together, and it saw that they truly did appreciate it, in this special way that they refused to call love. And it was happy.
They lived happily ever after, spreading kindness and beauty wherever they went.
You can go check out my blog for more info! I made many posts last year, and will probably do the same this year.
Image ID under the cut
[Image ID: Five digitally drawn pictures. They all have a green gradient background that fade into each other.
Image 1: A simple cartoon character with short brown hair, white skin and green cheeks. They’re dressed in the colors of the aro flag (green, light green, white, grey, black). They’re gesturing towards a central text in capital handrawn white letter that reads “It’s time for Aro-Spec Awareness Week 2022”. Another text typed in black says “From Feb 20th Until Feb 26th”. Two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 2: The text is divided into three blocks and reads: “What does aro-spec mean ? It’s short for "aromantic spectrum”. Arospec people don’t experience romantic attraction, or experience it differently.“ aromantic spectrum is written in green, romantic attraction is written in a dark red, and the rest is black. The same character previously described is standing on the right of the text as if they were saying the words. They’re drawn a second time underneath the text, holding a green umbrella while saying "It’s an umbrella term!”. The same two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 3: The text reads: “However, arospec and acepec are two different experiences. Not every aro is ace, not every ace is aro. That distinction between romantic and sexual attraction is based on the SAM! (Split Attraction Model)”. The words are typed in black except for the word aro which is green, and the word ace which is purple. A handwritten note on the side reads: “It can be used by anyone too!”. The character is at the bottom of the screen and says in parenthesis: “Tho there are non SAM aro out there”. The same two white arrows are at the bottom of the image as decorations.
Image 4: The image is filled with text with the exception of the character’s head poking out of the bottom. It says in a handwritten white text: “Transcript at the end”. At the top of the image is written “Some Vocabulary for the road:”. Underneath is a list of terms in bold capital letters and their definition. “Allo: Being non-aro (alloromantic) or non-ace (allosexual)” ; “Amatonormativity: The assumption that everyone must want a lifelong monogamous romantic and sexual relationship.” ; “Romance Repulsed/Favorable: How someone feels about romance! Some aro do like romance, others want nothing to do with it, and some are neutral.” ; “QPR: Queer Platonic Relationship! An unique kind of commitment, determined by the people in it.”
Image 5: The character is sitting on the decorative arrows at the bottom of the panel. White text above and next to them read: “This has been a brief introduction! There’s a lot more to learn… so follow ASAW and be aware of your local aros! Thanks for reading!”
gloomsexual:a subset of asexual in which there is not only a lack of sexual attraction, but it is replaced by feelings of apathy and sadness towards the idea of sex
gloomromantic:a subset of aromantic in which there is not only a lack of romantic attraction, but it is replaced by feelings of apathy and sadness towards the idea of romance
@ bregee13 asked for a gloomsexual flag and i figured i’d also make a gloomromantic flag! the inner stripes are from the asexualandaromantic flags and the outer ones represent apathy and sadness.
flag id: two flags with 5 stripes. the left flag’s stripes, in order, are blue-grey, dark blue-grey, dark purple-pink, dark blue-grey, and blue-grey. the right flag’s stripes in order, are blue-grey, dark blue-grey, green, dark blue-grey, and blue-grey. end id.
anarospec orientation in which one does not experience romantic attraction, but occasionally feels as if they do. One can be perfectly aware that the attraction is fake, non-romantic or being misunderstood, but the feelings stay there. This fake attraction feels like what one imagines a crush feels like, and may consume one’s thoughts despite one not wanting to be attracted to the person in question. It may be caused by or related to neurodivergence or amatonormativity, but it doesn’t have to be.
Etymology: apomí coming from the Greek word “απομίμηση” (pronounced as “apomímisi”) meaning fake + romantic
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