“It’s nice to meet you,” Jane said, returning the smile. “I’m Jane. You knew that already though, I guess. And this is Tan.”
Dr. Fai’s face turned red. “Oh my god, you probably think I’m so weird for knowing your name. I’m not a stalker, I promise. Dr. Bunn talks about you sometimes, is all. He mentioned you were coming for lunch today.”
Beside her, Tan shifted impatiently, no doubt wanting her to wrap things up so the two of them could get back to dissecting every interaction he’d had with Bunn during lunch.
Jane resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. “Don’t worry, I didn’t think you were a stalker,” she reassured Dr. Fai. “Anyway, we better get going. Thank you again for returning the keychain. I really appreciate it.”
She and Tan turned to go.
“Wait!”
Jane spun back around.
“The movie theater…they’re doing a Disney movie marathon this weekend. Showing a bunch of the classics. I was going to go alone because it’s not something any of my friends are really interested in, but I was thinking…maybe you’d like to join me? Since it seems like you’re a fan?” Dr. Fai trailed off, looking flustered. “Sorry, this is weird, isn’t it? We don’t even know each other. Sorry. Forget I asked.” She gestured over her shoulder. “I’m just gonna get back to work. It was nice to meet you, Jane.”
For a moment, Jane considered letting her walk away. After all, they didn’tknow each other. But, on the other hand, a Disney movie marathon was right up her alley…
“That sounds fun,” she called after Dr. Fai, stopping her in her tracks. “I’d love to join you.”
Dr. Fai turned, eyes wide. And then her face broke into a huge smile, a blinding smile, a smile that for an instant reminded Jane so much of another smile, one that had belonged to another girl she’d once known. A girl she had tried desperately to forget.
Her heart did a somersault in her chest.
Shit.
She shouldn’t have said anything.
“Really?” Dr. Fai asked, still smiling brightly. “Okay, great! Um, okay. What’s your Line ID? I’ll message you the details.”
Well, it was too late to back out now.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
**
“So that was completely unfair,” Tan said a few minutes later, as the two of drove back to the cram school. “I spent the entire lunch using my best material on Bunn and I may as well have been flirting with a wall. Then all you do is drop a keychain and immediately get asked out on a date? This is bullshit.” He huffed in faux annoyance, before grinning. “I’m happy for you though. Can I be your man of honor when the two of you tie the knot?”
Panic flared up in Jane’s chest. A date??
She tore her eyes away from the road to stare at him in shock. “Shut up, what are you talking about? She wasn’t asking me out on a date.”
“Um, yeah, okay. Just a stranger asking another stranger to go sit in a dark theater with her and watch a bunch of romantic movies, completely platonically.” He rolled his eyes. “Did you see how nervous she looked? It’s totally a date.”
Jane gripped the steering wheel tighter, her palms suddenly sweaty.
A memory she had tried so hard to drown in the deep recesses of her brain came floating back up to the surface.
Her college dorm, twelve years ago. Lying in bed with her, the girl whose name she tried never to think about. But no matter how hard she tried to forget, she could still remember how the girl had smiled at her, panting slightly, lips swollen, looking so beautiful. So goddamn beautiful. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” she’d asked. And Jane had pushed aside all her fears and agreed. It was fun. Really fun.
But then… “Now that you’ve had your way with me, Jane, what do you say to a date? Me and you? Dinner tomorrow night?”
That one word. Date. It yanked Jane right out of the perfect little fantasy land the two of them had created in her dorm room that night, the one where no one else mattered…or even existed. She thought of her parents, her strict, traditional parents. She’d never disappointed them before. That was Rung’s specialty. Rung, who’d dropped out of pharmacy school only a few months before she would have graduated. Jane still remembered that argument. Her father, shouting until he was red in the face. Her mother, sobbing, as she begged Rung not to throw away her life.
If they had responded like that to the news that their daughter was opening a spa, how would they respond to the news that their other daughter was dating a girl? She didn’t even want to think about it. Couldn’t think about it. Couldn’t even consider it.
So she’d lied and said she was busy the following the night, in fact she was super busy for the next two weeks. “A bunch of exams, you know how it is.” And she’d promised to text her when she had some free time. But she never did. She ignored the girl’s texts and calls. Avoided the places on campus she knew she frequented. Told herself it didn’t hurt. Told herself that it had all been a drunken mistake. As if that night had come out of nowhere. As if the feelings hadn’t been building up for months.
She went back to dating boys. She graduated. Moved back to Viangpha Mork. Reconnected with Pued. Fell hopelessly back in love him. And then, finally, the stars had aligned in their favor after years and years, and he became her boyfriend. And that girl became a hazier and hazier memory. Jane had her soulmate. Her prince charming. Nobody else mattered.
But Pued had turned out to be less of a prince and more of a frog.
And Dr. Fai’s smile had been so blindingly beautiful…
Jane took a deep breath. And another. She refocused her gaze on the road. “You’re full of shit, Tan. It’s not a date.”
I haven’t written anything in years, so apologies if this is terrible. This is set in alternate universe where Jane doesn’t die and none of the characters are involved in sex trafficking.
Part 1
“Wait, you know him?”
Tan’s voice cut through Jane’s thoughts and she glanced up from her phone. “Hm?”
“Did you just say that you knowthe doctor?” He leaned closer to her, eyes wide and eager.
“Oh, yeah,” she said, tucking her phone back into her purse. Pued was calling her. Again. And she was ignoring him. Again. “He used to live here when we were kids. We were best friends.”
She and Tan had been holed up in the back corner of the only coffee shop in Viangpha Mork for the last twenty minutes, under the guise of “grading papers,” but so far neither of them had gotten much work done. Tan had seemed distracted since the arrived, fiddling with his pen and shuffling papers around and not saying much at all, until suddenly he’d looked up and said, “Did you hear that the hospital hired a new doctor? I saw him at The Mist last night.”
“Of course,” she said, wondering why he was bringing this up. “Bunn and I go way back. He—”
She was cut off by her phone screen lighting up, alerting her to yet another phone call from Pued. What was it? The fifth one today? Why hadn’t she blocked his number yet? She really needed to block his number.
Pushing her ex to the back of her mind and refocusing on the conversation at hand, she watched as Tan’s eyes seemed to grow brighter with excitement as she explained the childhood connection she and Bunn shared.
“No shit? You guys are friends? That’s great!”
She squinted at him suspiciously. “And why is that?”
Tan paused, considering his words. “He…kissed me. Last night at The Mist. He was absolutely wasted and he stumbled into me and…he kissed me.”
“Oh?” said Jane, raising an eyebrow. She’d always had her suspicions about Bunn’s sexuality. He’d never seemed interested in girls back in their middle and high school days, but she’d never asked him about it and then he’d moved away and they’d lost contact. “And how did you feel about that?”
“Um, have youseen him?” Tan asked. “How do you think I felt about it?”
She tilted her head, considering this. “I didn’t know you liked boys.”
Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow. “You got a problem with that?”
“No!” she exclaimed. “No, of course not.”
Tan was a bit of an enigma. Despite the fact that they had been friends for several years now, sometimes she felt like she knew close to nothing about him. He never talked about his personal life. And then there was way he could shift from an earnest, almost innocent sweetness into someone downright intimidating and dangerous – she didn’t fully know what to make of him most of the time.
“Okay, great,” Tan said, leaning back in his seat. “So it’s settled then.”
“Huh? What’s settled?”
“You’ll introduce me to him! Officially.”
“I don’t remember saying I would do that.”
If it was possible for a person to actually make the pleading face emoji expression in real life, Tan was currently doing so.
“Jaaaaaane,” he whined. “Please. I really think he might be my soulmate.”
She looked at him in disbelief. “Your what?”
“I know that sounds crazy but hear me out. I’ve met him before. Well, not really ‘met,’ per se, but…had a run-in with. It was like eight years ago, back in college. He dropped some papers and I helped him pick them up and then he hurried off before I could introduce myself or get his name or anything and I’ve always been pissed at myself for not chasing him down. We had this connection, Jane, I swear we did. I can’t explain it, but I saw him and something…clicked. That sounds stupid, I know. But I’ve never been able to get him out of my mind. I’ll be having sex with someone and I’ll close my eyes and I’ll see his face. That has to mean something, right? A guy I said three words to years ago having that much of an impact on me? It has to mean something.”
Jane stared at him, completely caught off guard. He’d never opened up to her about something so personal before.
He buried his face in his hands and groaned. “God, why am I even telling you all this? You probably think I’m crazy.”
She reached out, taking one of his hands in her own and pulling it away from his face. “I don’t think you’re crazy,” she said, though that wasn’t exactly true. She quickly racked her brain for something positive to say about the situation. “I think…I think you have good taste. Bunn is the best person I know. I’m not surprised someone would spend eight years pining for him.”
Tan smiled slightly at that. “He’s really handsome,” he murmured.
Jane shook her head in disbelief. She had never seen him like this. “Well, I assume he’ll be at the party tomorrow night. I can introduce you there.”
“The party?”
“The hospital director’s birthday party! Tan, don’t tell me you forgot. You promised you’d be my date.
“Oh…right…”
He had definitely forgotten.
“Don’t even try to back out. You brother is going to be there. And my sister. I cannot face them alone, Tan. I really can’t.”
If there was one memory Jane wished she could erase from her mind forever, it was the sight of Pued and Rungtiva, together in bed. Even now, thinking about it, she felt sick to her stomach. But she couldn’t stop replaying the events in her head. Finishing up work early and deciding to go to Pued’s place to surprise him. Walking in on them. Letting out a shocked scream. Watching them spring apart. The look on Rung’s face, slightly smug, as she dressed and slipped out the door without a word to Jane. Pued’s tears and frantic apologies. “Jane, I’m sorry. I can explain. Please. Just listen to me. I’m so sorry. I love you. Please don’t leave.”
But she had left.
She sent him a text later. “We’re done,” was all it said. He hadn’t stopped calling her and texting her since. She really needed to block his number. Why couldn’t she bring herself to block his number?
Deep down, she knew why. Because he was the boy she’d loved for nearly her entire life. Her childhood friend who had finally turned into something more a year ago. She had truly believed she would spend the rest of her life with him, had truly believed he loved her and only her. But he had betrayed her. Tan thought that Bunn was his soulmate? What the hell did that mean anyway? Soulmate? Pued was her soulmate and he’d fucked her sister. It seemed to her that the whole concept was overrated and meaningless.
Wow. So there it was. She, Janejira Sookyod, the girl who loved fairy tales, the girl who cried watching cheesy rom-coms, the girl whose favorite holiday was Valentine’s Day, had become cynical and jaded.
“I’ll be there,” Tan said, pulling her from her thoughts. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “And I’ll kick Pued’s ass if he comes anywhere near you.”
**
Tan had stayed true to his word on that one. And unfortunately, he had to walk away from a conversation with Bunn to do so.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Tan,” she said quietly, as he drove her home. “You should have kept talking to Bunn. I can handle Pued on my own.”
Tan stared straight ahead, jaw clenched, hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tightly. “He hit you, Jane. You think I was just going to stand by and let him treat you like that?”
“I said some hurtful things to him,” she muttered.
Tan turned his head, the disbelief evident in his eyes. “He slept with your sister. Of course you said some hurtful things to him. Anyone would. That doesn’t excuse him putting his hands on you like that. Are you seriously defending him?”
“No, no, I just…” She trailed off, her head spinning. All she wanted was to change out of this dress into her comfiest pajamas, burrow under the covers of her bed, and stay there the rest of the weekend. “I just never thought he’d do something like that.”
“I’m really sorry this happened to you, Jane,” Tan said softly, seeming to recognize that she wasn’t in the mood to say anything else on the matter.
They drove the rest of the way home in silence.
**
Over the next week, Jane did her best to avoid thinking about Pued at all costs. Luckily, his attempts to contact her had stopped, besides one text he’d sent her the morning after the party that simply said “sorry.”
Sorry.
One word.
As if one word could possibly be enough to make up for what he had done.
She shook her head, as if she could shake the thought of him right out of her mind. This wasn’t what she needed to be focusing on right now. She was heading to the hospital to have lunch with Bunn and she was taking Tan with her. Mostly because he’d begged her to when she’d mentioned her lunch plans. But maybe this could prove to be a good distraction for her. Her own love life was in complete shambles, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t help out her friends with theirs.
She watched as Tan’s eyes lit up as soon as Bunn rounded the corner, and she smiled, really smiled, for the first time since the incident at the party.
Perhaps she hadn’t become completelyjaded and cynical.
“I thought you were coming alone,” Bunn said, as he reached out to hug her.
“I was going to, but Tan was desperate to see you,” she murmured in his ear as he pulled her close, hopefully quietly enough that Tan couldn’t hear her.
Bunn pulled away, and she a saw a small, pleased smile dance at the corner of his lips before he cleared his throat and rearranged his features into an expression of disinterest, as if anyone was going to buy that. He was the one who’d kissed Tan, after all.
She grinned. The two of them were going to make the cutest couple.
**
An hour later, she and Tan were heading back to her car when she heard someone shout her name.
They both turned, and Jane was surprised to see a doctor running towards them. She recognized her, but she didn’t know her name. How did the doctor know hers?
“Sorry,” the doctor said, coming to a stop in front of them. “I hope I didn’t startle you. Your Ariel keychain fell off your bag.”
Jane let out a little gasp. “Oh my god, thank you so much!” she exclaimed, as the doctor handed the keychain over. “I would have been devastated to lose her.”
“It’s really cute. I love the Little Mermaid,” the doctor said with a smile. “I’m Fai, by the way.”
If halfway through the season you tried to tell me the show was gonna end with Inspector M helping Tan propose to Bunn by holding them at gunpoint, I would have thought you were insane. BUT HERE WE ARE.
Jane and Dr. Fai agreed to meet for lunch before their Disney movie not-a-date. Jane arrived at the restaurant first, early as always. Luckily, she didn’t have to sit alone with her thoughts for too long before Dr. Fai walked through the door. It took Jane a second to even recognize her without her white lab coat. She was wearing a floral sundress, red lipstick, and had curled her hair.
Jane could hear Tan’s teasing voice in her head. “She’s dressed for a daaaate.”
Even the imaginary version of Tan was annoying.
Suddenly Jane felt self-conscious. Was she underdressed? She glanced down at her outfit. No, this was her nicest pair of jeans. Plus, she was wearing heels. And her blouse was made of lace.
Wait a second.
Was she dressed for a date?
There was no time to ponder this, however, because Dr. Fai had made her way over to the table. Jane shot to her feet, banging her knee on the table leg in the process.
Pain shot through her leg.
What the fuck?
Why did she stand? That was definitely date behavior.
Jane attempted to turn her grimace of pain into a smile. “Hi, Dr. Fai. It’s great to see you again.”
“Please, just call me Fai. Is your knee okay? That looked like it hurt.”
“Didn’t hurt at all!” Jane lied, sitting back down. She picked up her menu, desperate to change the subject. “Have you been here before?”
“Been meaning to but haven’t had the chance yet. They keep me pretty busy over at the hospital. What about you?”
“I came here with Tan about a month ago, right after it opened.”
“Tan…that’s the guy you were with the other day at the hospital, right? Is he…” Fai seemed to hesitate. “Is he your boyfriend?”
“No, no, definitely not,” Jane said with a laugh. “He’s just a friend. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m single.”
The word “single” felt strange on her lips. But now was definitely not the time to think about Pued.
“Gotcha,” Fai said.
Jane pretended she didn’t notice the relief in her eyes. “What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?”
Now it was Fai’s turn to laugh. “No, no boyfriend.”
It was impossible not to notice the emphasis she put on boy.
“A girlfriend?” Jane asked, a part of her desperately praying Fai would say yes. If she said yes, then that would prove Tan’s date theory wrong once and for all.
“Unfortunately, no,” Fai replied, her eyes locking with Jane’s. “No girlfriend.”
Fai had a very intense gaze, almost too intense. Jane was finding it extremely difficult to look away from her. She needed to stop staring and say something. Anything. But nothing was coming to her. Her mind had gone strangely blank. What even werewords?
Fai really was so pretty. Her hair looked so nice like this.
Hey! Those were words. That was something she could say. Compliments were always good, right? But wait, wouldn’t that sound like she was flirting, if she complimented Fai’s appearance immediately after Fai had told her she didn’t have a girlfriend? Yes, it would definitely sound like flirting. She needed to think of something else to say…
“You two ready to order?” came the voice of the server, sounding oddly far away.
Jane gave a jolt, startled. She’d forgotten where they even were. Judging from the slightly dazed expression on Fai’s face, she had to.
The server took their orders and left. Jane and Fai were left once again sitting in silence, but this time neither of them was looking at the other. Jane fiddled with the clasp of her necklace. Fai folded up her straw wrapper.
Well.
This was awkward.
SAY SOMETHING! Jane’s brain screamed.
Why was she suddenly so horrible at making small talk? When had she become such a disaster? How much longer were they going to have to sit here in this painful silence? She glanced down at her phone. What time did the Disney marathon start again?
The Disney marathon! Of course!
“Do you know which films they’re showing?” Jane asked, relieved that her brain had finally remembered how to make conversation.
Fai glanced up, relief in her eyes, no doubt just as happy as Jane was that the silence had been broken. Yeah, I do!” she said. “It’s Snow White, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and The Lion King. I think there might be one or two others. Can’t remember what they are.
“Oooh, I hope it’s Aladdin. Or Mulan. Or Sleeping Beauty.” Jane laughed. “Who am I kidding? I love them all.” She took a sip of her water. “The Little Mermaid is my favorite though. What about you?”
“It’s The Little Mermaid for me as well,” Fai said. “I literally wore out my VHS tape of it when I was a kid from watching it so many times.”
“Oh my god, same,” Jane said. “And I had such a crush on Prince Eric.”
“I had crush on Ariel. Before I was even old enough to know that girls could have crushes on girls. I’d watch the movie on repeat just to look at her.”
Jane tried to decide how to reply to this. She didn’t want Fai to think she had any problem with her sexual orientation, but she also didn’t want to lead her on, to make her think that there was anything going on here besides a blossoming friendship.
“So you’re into redheads?” she teased.
Casual and friendly. Nailed it.
Tan’s voice once again filled her head. “You know your tone sounded super flirty, right?”
Imaginary Tan really needed to keep his opinions to himself.
Fai smiled. “I’m not really picky when it comes to hair colors. A pretty girl is a pretty girl, you know?”
That intense gaze was back…
It was time to change the subject.
“Bunn loaned me The Little Mermaid book back when we were kids and it broke my heart,” she said. “I was not expecting it to end so tragically.”
Fai looked at her blankly. “The book doesn’t have a happy ending?”
“You haven’t read it? Oh my god, I’m going to have steal Bunn’s copy back from him and loan it to you. You can’t claim to be a fan of The Little Mermaid if you haven’t read the book, Fai.”
“I’ll read anything you want me to, Jane,” Fai murmured.
Listen I’m gonna need Thailand to start doing every literary trope and just make a BL version.. ya’ll already gave us Murder Mystery, now you’re giving us Mafia Husbands. Ya’ll already have the school setting down. like give us something new because when you do… it gets hype like kinnporsche is getting hype.
I promise people are getting bored of these freaking college kid stories because it’s already been done again and again. It’s really just the setting of it all, not even the plot.
I don’t know man, just give me some Hannibal type shit, give me some magical, mystery, time travel stuff. Something that’s new for the thai bl genre because other countries switch it up and it works.
A while ago I started watching The Devil Judge. Unfortunately I stuck on 4 episode. But I will continue.
This Thai drama was so freaking good.
Manner of Death 9,5/10
This movie destroyed me completely.
Train to Busan 10/10 (I cried….a lot)
15.12.2021 I saw Spiderman No way home 10000000000/10 (to bylo popiči kurva dobrý)
27.12.2021 I was with my sis on Matrix
7,2/10 I really enjoyed it.
Yesterday I finished watching Squid game.
It was so good. 9,5/10
Today, I watched Deliver us from evil (2020)
7,5/10 (he was such a daddy)
I’m still not done watching Hawkeye
I haven’t seen the last episode yet but it’s 9/10 for me ❤️
And I’m going to watch Witcher. I haven’t seen yet the first season so I will watch it with the second season together. BUT I’ll watch it with our Czech dubb.❤️ You know Slavic is Slavic.
![kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8e49b048771fffa5a348c774b280f88e/bb65a7a842bd717d-8f/s540x810/88fa0cd10793e4142eed0047ba813ac6417ee04e.gif "kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then")
![kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then](https://64.media.tumblr.com/255fbe4901c7c2f3c311a21efc0abc27/bb65a7a842bd717d-63/s540x810/083fa0d00edcf498814f1ce4a9b491c75e66809c.gif "kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then")
![kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then](https://64.media.tumblr.com/78a897ab66fbd3ec113ddfb21519318b/bb65a7a842bd717d-37/s540x810/0ca3fbafe176726003f03f381778bafc394024e6.gif "kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then")
![kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then](https://64.media.tumblr.com/63140201063ff7cda8d3de3455a750fa/bb65a7a842bd717d-f3/s540x810/11c12ebbe407623a8837724873dc50afbbc087cf.gif "kaonoppakao: Favourite OTPs [4/5]: TanBun, Manner of DeathI’ll be your flamingo then")
