#medici de medici

Giuliano: I can’t believe Simonetta blocked me on Instagram.

Sandro: *takes out phone* wait you can do that?

Giuliano: Sandro… what are you doing?

Sandro: Blocking your ass on Instagram.

Sandro and Giuliano but make it ✨Gen Z✨ pretty sure Giuliano would either shit post or have f-boy selfies, there is no in between

Giuliano: so you’re breaking up with me because I’m too bLonDe??

Simonetta: umm no, it’s because I don’t love you.

Giuliano: you know, I could just like dye my hair right??

Simonetta:

Giuliano:RIGHT??

I’m literally convinced this is how the breakup went down smh

Lorenzo: Giuliano has been with half of Florence.

Also Lorenzo: has had a mistress since he was a wee lad, a wife he repeatedly cheated on, a lass in Naples as well, and who knows how many more Ippolitas out there.

Well there are hypocrites and then there is Lorenzo the Magnificent

Lorenzo abandoning his moral compass for his true love Bruno Bernardi like—

I’m obviously joking but in the show Bruno literally spewed toxic shit into Lorenzo’s ears and Lorenzo transformed into the most morally grey character I have ever seen. Also Lorenzo holding his arm instead of Clarice’s is just

Giuliano: I don’t believe in love.

Simonetta:*exists*

Giuliano: *gives up on Imola and his whole family to have stolen moments with Simonetta*

Giuliano: pffft I so believe in love

Giuliano in therapy (again)

Therapist: Why have you not been speaking to Sandro?

Giuliano: He’s obsessed with Simonetta because he loves to paint her!

Therapist: Doesn’t he love to paint you too?

Giuliano:Ohh

Therapist: What do you want from life, Giuliano?

Giuliano: idrk but it would be nice to be valued by my family.

Therapist: And what is stopping you?

Giuliano: Oh well, idk just off the top of my head MY IDIOT BROTHER WHO THINKS HE’S SOOOOO SMART TRUSTING A PAZZI AND MAKING HIM HIS CHILD’S GODFATHER AND ACTING LIKE I AM THE DISTANT ONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP AND HE ONLY ASKS FOR ME WHEN MY MOM PUSHES HIM TO—

Therapist: It’s Simonetta isn’t it?

Giuliano: OMG Simonetta is that you??