Summary: it was a rundown car, one of the tail lights hung incorrectly as if the repairman hadn’t been too knowledgeable on much but the fact that it was broken. the road was insubstantial, flickering out of existence like the “no” on the motel sign ahead of us. the red echoes off of his cheekbones and eyelids in hollow waves. chip whispered my name brokenly — my tongue ached to say his in return.
Relationship: Chip Taylor x He/Him AFAB! Reader
WC: 4.8k
A/N: Hi my loves! This fic is for Pom (@imagining-in-the-margins) Discord Servers 5th Fic Swap! I was lucky enough to write this fic for Rory (@ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff)! And he wrote me an amazing fic as well, so check his out! The reader is He/Him AFAB and intended to be a gay trans man. No mentions of breasts or a chest area is mentioned in any way shape or form.
CW: Mild Dub-con (Sleepy griding), a little bit of cum swallowing, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, it’s honestly just yearning and pining and dumb gays
Prompt(s):
A: What about this makes you think you’re dreaming? B: I’ve dreamt about you before"“
“do you think of me when you touch yourself?” “what else is there to think about?”
“Your hand feels much better than my own.”
Reader is very very wrong about his assumption of his best friend, Chip, being straight. Why? Chip keeps on saying Reader’s name while touching himself
NSFW 18+ ONLY
———-
(crush by richard siken:)
(you’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. and you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. you’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.)
Tires couldn’t melt. Surely, if they could, then they would have already. The black pavement of the road drew any and all sunlight, stealing away that which should have helped to grow flowers or warm cheeks on cold days. However, Nevada’s desert didn’t have much in the way of plants besides the occasional cactus — so to the road, the light went. I knew if I stepped into it that the heat would sleep from the ground into my shoes.
It’s fickle like that, energy is. So very constantly moving and then spreading and staying and leaving. In a way it was almost like the boy sat next to me, with his hands gripped around the wheel, and his eyes glancing over at me in the few seconds when he could warrant looking away.
Not like there was much to look at besides me. The roads were the same in most places, black (or grayed with age), yellow and white lines, and the steering wheel beneath your fingertips. The whole world becomes this stretch of scenery that might never change. No energy would ever be the needed amount to change what is seen with the eyes of a traveler.
“It’s hot out,” Chip says simply, one of his hands moving to wipe away a bead of sweat that had started to slip down the side of his neck. My eyes followed the movement of his hands with mindless curiosity. Though to say my mind was completely out of the picture was wrong, I was thinking about how Chip’s hands would feel on me, in me.
Chip looked over at me, eyes of honey brown peering at me just because he wanted to look. I liked that about Chip, he never bothered himself with too much thought. Sure, he overthought at times, but Chip found his comfort in the life of complacency.
Truth be told, I had always wanted a man like him. Kind, comfortable, and loving, but also perfectly capable of wanting more. Chip could reach for the stars and then would be glad to land on a mountain top, as long as there were stars for his pretty eyes to look at.
“Should be a motel soon, we can stop there for the night,” I murmured. I didn’t bother to look away from the cut of his jaw as he peered out my window and through the distance, towards the horizon — eyes turning golden in the last few hints of sun that escaped the ever chasing sunset.
Somewhere, somehow, the road and time had both disappeared and left me with nothing but Chip. I didn’t care, he would always be enough for me.
If only there was a way that I would be enough for him — but Chip, my perfect man, Chip, didn’t like men. Or, so I thought.
That night, the only motel within a hundred miles was filled to the brim. No vacancies whatsoever, and the neon sign on the lot blinked without caring. It was what had made us decide to even try the motel, despite the copious amount of cars that sat in front of the building.
Luck was on our side, though, and the man at the counter said that we could sleep in our car in the lot. Which was better than the side of the road, albeit not exactly perfect.
The blanket we had stashed in the trunk worked fine.
It wasn’t too scratchy, and the soft yarn was broken in the right amount. Attached to the edge of the yellow and blue yarn-knit blanket was a hastily made tag. In large, scraggly letters, was written CT.
“Did … did you make this?” I asked, gracing a finger over the letters. I don’t know what pushed me to do so; I knew what it said, but I think I wanted to try and commit it to memory. This thing that Chip crafted so imperfectly in the best of ways. I wanted my brain to remember the smell of him on the blanket, and the sound of his voice paired with the plush as he answered my question with an embarrassed ‘yes.’
If in seven years — when my skin is wholeheartedly anew — I have come to lose the immortality of the brain’s memory, my heart will forever remember the adoration I felt for him at that moment.
“A little granny needed a ride to her grandkids. She didn’t have much money, so she taught me how to.”
I practically melted. Chip was the most perfect man ever and I was so crazy to ever think that I had a chance. But, he hadn’t told me anything that made it seem like he wanted me gone. Plus, it always felt like he tried to stretch out our trip to milk it to the bone. A stop at a gas station that takes far too long than just for snacks, often full of laughter in the small aisles before getting eventually (and inevitably) kicked out.
“Chip this is … amazing.”
A bashful grin spread across his lips as he leaned back in his seat, the blanket stretched across the centre to fit both of us. “I’m glad you like it. There should be enough for both of us, but if I steal the covers, you can just steal it back from me or…”
Chip grew embarrassed, his eyes looked away from me, towards the blinking sign. “Or, you could just wake me up and sit in my lap so we can share.”
I nodded. I knew that I’d definitely not have the courage to do so but it was a nice thought. Especially considering it seemed like Chip wantedme to sit on his lap. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have made the offer.
My cheek pressed against the leather of the seat as I prepared to go to sleep. The dash said it was almost 10 and I was tired. It wasn’t comfortable, though the closeness to Chip helped a lot. Drowsiness had come over me quickly, and with a mumbled G’nightto Chip, I was asleep.
Sometime later, I was awoken by the blanket being suddenly pulled from me. I had gone to move and steal it back when I heard a whimper so sinful and heady with pleasure that I almost gasped in response.
See, while the tone was unfamiliar, I just knewit was Chip.
I hadn’t ever risked much in life. I was always the kid who did everything perfectly. I was never the perfectkid or the popular kid, but I was a good kid. The kind of kid that blends into the background and is content to do that. Yearbook club, a couple of friends, and A’s with one or two B’s. Never went to parties, never drank and drove, and never skipped.
But Chip was obviously taking a risk with what hewas doing so close to me that I couldn’t not take the risk and open my eyes.
Fuck, was I glad that I did. Nothing would ever prepare me for what I saw there. Persephone, lips reddened with the juice of pomegranate would never compare to the sight in front of me. Chip’s eyes were pressed close, and his eyebrows twisted in pleasure. The light of the neon sign faded in and out, illuminating Chip’s eyelids, the curve of his open lips, his bobbing Adam’s apple … My eyes dipped lower and followed every bit of the light. Till I saw the reason for the obscene sounds falling from Chip’s lips, not at all muddled despite the fact that he had bitten down into his bottom lip moments before.
His hand twisted down his cock. Thumb swiped over his leaking tip on the descent, rubbing his precum over his shaft.
Right away it was a blatant fact that Chip had a pretty dick. Soft looking skin flushed deep red with arousal, and softly curved towards his happy trail. Chips hand brushed his pubes at the base of his dick and held it there, I saw how his hand gripped down a bit holdinghimself as if to not cum so soon.
Chip released his swollen and pink bottom lip and his voice broke as my name escaped him. I froze for a half-second — afraid that Chip had discovered that I was awake and staring — luckily his eyes were still closed. Though, with two short and quick pumps, Chip came. His hand covered his head, hips bucking up. Chip’s red-illuminated hair fell back against the seat, another whine of my name crossing him, but it was softer now. My eyes slammed shut and I knew that he looked at me. The sign blinked red against the soft translucency of my lids.
I struggled to regulate my breathing as Chip’s finger touched my lips, a bead of his cum fell onto my lower lip. Chip hissed in a breath and said a low curse. I let my eyes blink open as if I was awoken from sleep. Chip’s hand had retreated from my face and I was glad to see that he had tucked himself back into his sweatpants.
My tongue swept over my lips and I saw Chip stiffen. I feigned curiosity and licked at my lips again. Deep down there was some part of me that liked Chip’s cum, but still would have rathered that I had tasted it on purpose.
“You stole the blanket,” I pouted. Sure, it was truebut I had not exactly cared that much about it. Chip’s eyes held a galaxy of honey as he stared at me like I was going crazy. “What?”
The sign turned on, tilting his eyes cherry brown for a moment before back to his dim, night and lust darkened honey-treacle.
“Does anything … taste weird…?”
I shook my head no.
“Wait! Since you stole the blanket, does that mean I can sit on your lap?” I questioned — though I was already hooking my legs over the centre console and moving. Chip spluttered without indignance as my shins came to rest on either side of his thighs. I sat down and pressed my face to the crook of his neck.
“Do I get a say in this?” He said a bit jokingly, my lips felt the nervous thrum of his heartbeat. His hands came to rest softly around me and me even closer. His heartbeat sped. I was so glad for that little proof of life. Truth to that this wasn’t a dream. All I wished for was for my own heart to understand that lust can do a lot of things to someone’s mind — even for just a moment, make them say the name of the wrong person.
Still, my brain would forever remember the yearnand totality of longing that I felt when I wanted to say his name in return.
(i wanted to answer a call that only chip could have rung)
—————
Waking up in Chip’s arms was a blessing and a curse.
For one, his arms were strong as they wrapped around me. His hold on me did not falter as I awoke the next morning, some time after dawn had broken. Chip’s arms had always been fairly muscular from what I had seen but it was a different thing entirely to have them wrapped around you with the purpose of not letting go.
The curse, however, was that his arms weren’t just holding. No, they were moving. Chip was still asleep if his little even breaths against my neck had any say in it. So, what he was doing was subconscious. Chip was subconsciously using his arms to rock me against his erection.
Every few seconds his breathing would be cut off by a sleepy groan that ignited a fire in my belly akin to the voracious and tantalizing red light that had echoed against our skin the night before.
Chip’s lips dragged across my skin sleepily, lean-muscled arms holding me to his lap tightly. It was as if he knew in some deep-seated way that it was me in his arms like all he had ever wanted was to hold me. Chip settled back again with his lips — the ones that always seemed to be programmed into a perfect little pink country-boy pout — pressed to the hollow divot of my collarbone.
In one motion, Chip’s face is wrenched back from my skin and his arms loosen to pull away. What replaced the feel of him on me was the sudden heart-wrenching longing for his warmth, for his cheek to be back against the place where my shirt had fallen and skin was visible. It was scorching out already, though it couldn’t be too far past dawn. Still, a million suns could fall on me with their flames and it would never compare to the quenching warmth of Chip’s life. Or, possibly, a better analogy would be that I was a dehydrated man, and Chip was the most hydrating water there was. Hmm, no. Chip may be something the kind of man to hum in the background, but he would never let himself forget that he held a sting of poison.
Chip was better suited to be electricity. Like the gasses and spark that flitted through every single neon light in the whole world. Capable of both shocking and warming. I had hoped that Chip hadn’t pulled away to give me a taste of his bite, since he had already given me a mouthful of his warmth.
His cheeks were such a shade of red, one that not even the sign from the night could ever think of matching. A pretty candy apple color that reminded me of when we had been on a California beach and he forgot sunscreen.
“I - I think we should find a Hotel room tonight,” Chip made no move to push me away. I made no move to go away. Despite the fact that pressing against my ass was an erection that also wasn’t going away.
I nodded in agreement, though I truly wouldn’t mind sleeping in the car again. Chip was a pretty nice mattress and I quite enjoyed the show he put on last night. Even if he didn’t know he was putting one on.
Still, he had said my name and I was in the car, only a few feet from him. If anything he had wanted me to see, right?
Though, that would mean that he was not straight, which was an odd thought to think. He had only ever mentioned girlfriends and sometimes I noticed how he would talk to a girl he found pretty. Eyes tilted golden, words soft and not sure where to look. Chip’d flit all around her face and her legs and her chest. I hadn’t ever noticed him doing that to a man.
And, unless I was blind, he’d never done it to me either.
Three hours later, I was back in my seat and Chip was driving, per usual for our day. We were an hour from Las Vegas, and Chip remarked that he’d only seen the city in passing. He’d never taken the time to stop in Sin City. So, the most obvious option would of course be to have us spend the day there.
Chip wasn’t very lenient with money, he used it when needed but would rather not splurge. However, he always seemed to have a full wallet. That was fine, though. I had enough for the fairly small buy-in of some random game. Plus, I was fucking fantastic at gambling. It was one of the few times I allowed myself the chance to take risks. It was exhilarating, wondering whether or not you’d win big or leave empty-handed.
And, well, I never left with less than what I started with.
“Chip,” I called, a small grin forming over my lips. He looked over at me quickly, before bringing his eyes back to the road. His eyebrow quirked softly with a question. “Can you go faster? I want to do somethin’.”
He nodded at me with vigor and a big smile and we shot forward a bit. Chip’s tanned hands adjusted their grip on the wheel. I didn’t pay too much attention as I rolled down the window. Chip’s hair, which had grown to the bottoms of his ears in our trip, wildly flailed in the wind that flooded the car. I gripped the outside of the car as I slid to sit on the door, most of my body out of the car.
I saw Chip’s eyes grow as wide as dime plates as he grabbed my ankle with a hand — the knuckles of both of his hands went bone white as they gripped onto either the wheel or me.
A nervous but admiration filled laugh bubbled from Chip’s lips, though It really could have been passed off as a sigh. “You …” A look I couldn’t place fell into his eyes, “You’re crazy.”
I then let my head fall back a bit, relishing in the way the wind contrasted the warm sun against every inch of me. When I looked away from the desert horizon, I noticed how Chip’s gaze fell onto my legs and the few inches of midriff from where my shirt had been ridden up by the wind. His eyes slammed back to the road when I caught him, and his eyes widened a bit.
“In a good way, I hope,” I said while sliding back in the window. I saw Chip’s shoulders relax a bit, and his fingertips dragged up my shin a bit before he returned his hand. Shot it back so fast I might have burned him.
“In the best way,” he replied, lips stretching as if he was trying to stop from saying something. But there was still that lingering yank from when he had tugged his hand back. Did he know? Had he somehow realized that I feel deeply for him and didn’t want to even insinuate that we could be together?
At that moment I felt like I had ruined it all. Like I was free falling and there’d be no one to catch me and I was too close to the ground. I felt like I’d failed a class or killed someone.
Then Chip reaches out, and his eyes are full of the poetry I would croon to him if I could, his eyes are glowing honey red again and I must be on fire now. Nothing else could explain the painless burning that filled my chest when I touched his hand.
(love, my brain whispered, love could)
—————
I called his name as we lay on the fancy hotel bed, it had an attached casino that we had just returned from. Entered with three hundred, left with almost two grand. I had sat on Chip’s lap and called him mylucky charm, and he was. In murmurs, he spoke about his limited poker experience.
Now our knuckles brushed from how close we were on the sheets and I hadn’t needed to look over to know that he was looking at me. In a way, he always was. Eyes bright with their own hum of neon gold, bright little flecks of the sun, and lightning in his sea of clear brown. Almost like dirt. Strong, life-giving. Chip took a drag of his lit cigarette, the red-orange tip reminded me of the neon sign. Has it really just been last night? I had thought to myself.
“D’you ever think about stopping? Finding somewhere to stay, building a home?”
Chip shook his head, curls falling into their soft pattern as they air-dried and slightly damped the white sheets beneath his head. It was odd to me, seeing as Chip had always seemed like someone who was searching for his home. Through mile, after mile, his eyes were sharp with longing. The roll of every hill, every divot leading to a river, he always seemed like he wanted to stop. To stay. Chip would look at me, eyes clear and warm, and I would see the longing in his eyes and I knew that he wanted to be home. Wherever his home happened to be. A small puff of smoke fell from Chip’s lips. I had gotten us a smoking room.
“I am home,” Chip’s voice was soft but strong with the sureness of his own self. “I am with you.”
My lips froze on my words, my mind had been completely and utterly discombobulated by the man beside me.
Chip threw his cigarette butt into the trash and scooted closer to me, nuzzling under the covers. I followed his lead, still too stunned to think much past ohmygod ohmygod. Before long, I felt my mind slow and my eyes flutter close, the scent of soap and cigarette smoke on my mind.
Chip had used my body wash.
—————
When I opened my eyes, I half expected the sight of the car. Since, what I was hearing mirrored what had happened the night before. Except there was a desperation to the sound that hadn’t been there previously.
A sob of my name echoed from next to me. That was what had woken me up. Notcovers being wrenched from me - in fact, I somehow had more covers on me than when I went to sleep. I was planning on just ignoring him, obviously, he wasn’t meaning to wake me up from his uhm, activities.But then his voice rang out softly, a sharp “No.”
I sat up quickly. The first thing I saw of Chip when I turned was how he reached for the blanket to pull it over himself. His hand didn’t make it that far, though. Before Chip had hidden his very obvious attempts of trying to get off, I had grabbed his wrist lightly.
“Chip. What are you doing?” I asked softly, curiosity and a flood of arousal pressed against my teeth, my tongue, and thrummed in my fingers. Everything of me was alight with the glow of what I was doing. I was giving myself a chance for risk, and I was taking it. Somehow, in the moments where Chip stuttered out an apology, I had become the neon light.
Suddenly, I wanted to stretch out and cover Chip fully. I wanted nothing more than to encapsulate him in my light, in me.
I moved as fast as I could, the covers falling off of me. Chips eyes were blinking in the quick pace of a faulty light, in the pace my heart surely must have also been beating. I used my grip on his wrist to guide him back to his own self.
“What are you doing?!” Chip exclaimed as I moved to straddle his thigh, not letting off my hold on his hand.
I let myself grind down on his leg for a moment, savoring the spark of friction it ignited in my tummy. There was stuff more important than that, though. “Last night and tonight, Chip. You’ve woken me up. Saying my name.” Chip’s eyes widened and a neon flush spread over his cheeks. I smiled a bit, so he really hadn’tintended on me knowing. His lips wrapped around soundless apologies. “Tell me, Chip: do you think of me when you touch yourself?”
“What else is there to think about?”
A groan fell from my lips. I moved from his thigh and rested by his stomach, moving his hand with me so that I could still grip his wrist. Chip’s erection pressed against my ass. Again. “Chip, you don’t gotta just think.If you want, right now, I’ll give you something to feel.”
If I could describe how Chip looked in one word, it would be thunder-struck.
Though he was the electricity and the lightning, Chip was the one electrocuted. When he moved into motion, I expected him to push me away. Instead, his free hand rested on my cheek, his pinkie finger under my jaw, and his lips were moving for mine. If his lips against my throat were mind-numbing, then this … this was mind-melting.Any thoughts I could have had escaped me, and this warming field of electricity swallowed me whole.
Chip kissed like he wanted love, and cuddling under homemade pink blankets, and hand-holding, and everything good. Chip kissed me as though he loved me. And he did.
“Let me touch you, please,” His breath was warm against my lips. I nodded, using my free hand to unbutton my pants, then guiding Chip’s hand to my boxers. A gasp left his lips as his fingers slid over my wetness, Chip’s thumb moved up and rubbed a soft circle into my clit and my hips jerked against his hand, rutting against him a bit, a moan falling from his lips.
Chip dragged two of his fingers between my folds, and before I could grab his wrist again, he pulled his hand between my legs and pressed his fingers into his open mouth. I could see from the hollow of his cheeks that he was greedily sucking on them. Words tumbled from my lips before I could even think through what I was saying.
“I wanna fuck you.”
He pulled his fingers from his mouth, a bead of spit connecting them to his lips. “You can do whatever you want to me.”
I shoved myself out of my boxers, throwing them somewhere across the room. I wasn’t in any hurry, but in a way I was.Chip’s hand moved back to me, this time his finger pushed into me.
I was prepared, yes, but in a way, I also wasn’t.
There was this expression of pure adoration pressing into every curve, dimple, and freckle of Chip’s expression.
He got in a few pumps and curls of his finger before I was practically shaking with desperation. Chip went to add another but I stopped him, using his wrist to pull him out of me. Chip leaned back on his elbows as I grabbed him from behind me, his skin warm and flushed under my fingertips, giving it a few pumps before lining the head of his cock up to me.
“Your hand feels so much better than mine,” I could see Chip’s eyes struggling to stay open as I sunk down on him, a whine falling from my own lips. Despite the mild preparation, Chip was still bigger than I had expected. He wasn’t overly thick, but like his own stature, he was long.
Once our hips were flush, I spoke, “You can close your eyes, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
Chip shook his head, “I’m afraid I’ll wake up from this dream.”
I rocked myself slightly on him, more of a grind than a thrust. I was still too tired to actually put much motion in, but I could feel that we were both already close enough for it to work.
“Oh, love, what about this makes you think you’re dreaming?”
It’s Chip that actually thrust up, hands sliding under the hem of my cotton shirt and settling against my hips. “I’ve dreamt about you before.”
“What exactly have you dreamed of?”
I knew what it was like to dream. Before I woke I was seeing a candy apple red sunset and a never-ending road, a home with two wheels, I was smelling honey soap and looking in honey brown eyes; watching as energy flickered there while a black hole overtook that sliver of sun in his eyes.
“Sometimes, I dream of fucking you,” Chip punctuated his words with a thrust into me, one of his hands moving to rub eager circles into me. His voice was then softer, more hesitant, a whisper. “Mostly, I dream of loving you.”
I press a sweet kiss to his lips and Chip sighs against me, sparking across my flesh. “Don’t dream, make it real.”
In one smooth motion, he flips us. One of my legs pressed up high, placed over his shoulder. “I love you,” Chip thrusts deeply, but gently. His hand snakes to hold mine. I press a kiss to his lips. Our bodies were entangled and entwined like yarn.
(in the morning, the mirror would show us both that it wasn’t a dream as his lips would leave bruises against my skin. but reality or not didn’t matter as we both whispered our affections. we reached the end of our journey together, and glowed brightly with neon love)
Laughter roared, and the day was waning. The clouds were travelling, and the smoke was rising. Life ruled in the gleaming eyes and alcohol, wine as sweet as honey together with whiskey painted the lips. The mood was exuberant and worries were forgotten for a moment, slipping into nothingness.
Y/N had not touched the food on the plates and the vegetables in the colourful bowls. It tasted good, was delicious, but she could no longer smell the odour she once liked much and grimaced nearly in disgust as the wind carried the scent in her direction. She sipped and emptied the glass full of water. The ice cubes remained at the bottom and slowly faded away in the rays of the sun.
The long dress covered her lovely body, making it impossible to spot the barely noticeable bulge she could hide from curious gazes. The sun shone down on her but Y/N avoided the drinks and the food she knew she wasn’t allowed to consume, had been reading books she had secretly bought, still unsure how to break the news to her boyfriend. Y/N was delighted, but every time her lips tried to form to the words of all words, the strength she had gathered in her heart disappeared, couldn’t look Spencer in the eyes and tell him what needed to be said. They had never talked about the subject of having children before, to have a family and it had never been necessary to speak of it, it was a subject not spoken of at the dinner table nor on long drives through the streets of the crowded city.
Doubts were clouding her mind. An icy shiver danced down her spine. Y/N had imagined it differently. She wanted to live in a small house and be a married woman, yet she had found the right partner for life long ago, but Y/N did not know how Spencer would react to the news.
Suddenly she felt a pair of eyes resting on her, studying her features closely. Y/N gave JJ a weak smile. She wanted to place her hands on her stomach in a protective gesture, a habit she loved too much, but before Y/N could do so, she curled her fingers into the flowing material of the dress she was wearing. Confusion spread through JJ´s eyes. She didn’t have to be a detective to notice that something was wrong with the young woman, who seemed exceptionally calm and deep in thoughts. JJ turned to her friend and took her gaze from the others gathered around the barbecue in the tranquil garden, laughing and chatting with each other and witnessed Spencer in a dark suit standing next to Hotch dressed in a pair of jeans and an old shirt.
“Is everything alright Y/N/N.”, “Of course, what should be wrong with me?” Y/N answered, forcing a smile.
JJ strolled towards Y/N and left the richly set table behind. She knew her friend well and knew something was wrong with her, that something troubled her greatly and even a blind man would see at first glance that Y/N was unwell. The façade shielding her features was well built but her eyes betrayed her, let know she was deeply troubled.
“I’ve known you for more than seven years Y/N/N, you can talk to me. Is it about Spencer? I’m worried about you, you’ve been acting unusual the last few days, the last few weeks to be accurate.” said JJ in a worried tone.
“I’m sorry you were worried about my wellbeing; I didn’t mean to worry you JJ. I’m fine.” Y/N laughed it off. “And Spencer is Spencer, he’s not capable of hurting me. I probably need a few days off. That’s all, you don’t need to worry. It’s just too much, the stress, the last cases and the lack of sleep.” added Y/N quickly and JJ nodded.
JJ halted next to Y/N, staring her straight in the eyes, trying to figure out what had happened, hoping she wasn’t lying to her, but the answer she gave sounded plausible and reasonable.
“If something was going on, would you let me know?” she huffed.
Y/N turned, faced her friend and flashed a faint smile. Her gaze was clouded and fear was evident.
“Of course, I would tell you, but there’s nothing I should tell you,” Y/N answered.
“Hotch has gone into the kitchen and you can ask him if you can get a day off, you work as much as Spencer and you deserve a day off more than any of us. You look really sickly and maybe you should ask for a week off instead of one day. Go to Hotch. I’m sure he’ll understand.” JJ said.
She gave Y/N´S shoulder a gentle squeeze. Y/N was about to protest but then nodded, knowing JJ was right and as Y/N imagined a day off she smiled peacefully, longing for a day when she could sit on the sofa and sleep or watch a movie with Spencer.
“Okay. You’re right, I’ll go and see him in a minute or should I rather go tomorrow?”, “Do it now.” she interjected and Y/N nodded.
No goodbyes escaped as Y/N turned her back on her friend, walking away, not noticing the questioning looks her boyfriend was giving her, paying no longer any attention to the conversation between Morgan and Rossi chatting about the food on the grill.
The cold tile floor made her shiver. Y/N leaned against the frame of the door and clasped her hands in front of her body, shielding the precious treasure which didn’t need protection. The air turned colder. Questioningly, the tall man turned around and immediately knew that Y/N had not come to talk about the nice weather.
“Is everything all right Y/N/N? Is there anything I can do for you?” Aaron asked, setting the jar he had filled with water down on the kitchen island.
Something incomprehensible came over her, didn’t know how to start. Confidence left her body. Y/N let her eyes wander around the kitchen, speechless, seeing the expression in the man’s eyes as he looked down at her kindly. To Hotch, Y/N was like a daughter and he felt his heart begin to ache and the worst thoughts try to overtake him as his thoughts travelled to the darkest corner of his mind.
Hotch took two steps and lowered his hands on her shoulders but he did not press her to his chest. Loving words assuring her that all was well again escaped him and when their eyes met the dams broke and the walls crumbled.
“What happened Y/N? You know you can tell me anything.”, “I’m sorry, I don’t know. It’s.” stuttered Y/N, unable to form a clear sentence.
Soothing tones Hotch uttered and gently his hands travelled down her spine, trying to understand what had happened to Y/N who was no longer his co-worker or employee but his daughter. His keen eyes travelled swiftly across her body but he could see no open wounds, no aching healed injuries gracing her skin. Suddenly tears clouded her vision.
“Y/N calm down, you can tell me everything. You are my child and if you have a problem, you can tell me, I will help you and I am convinced that all of us will help you, especially Spencer. We are your family.” Hotch said.
“I can’t,” Y/N spoke.
His hands rested on her shoulders and again he repeated the words he had said dozens of times. Urgently he looked into her eyes, trying to find the answer but nothing else but sadness and fear encountered him on his long journey. Slowly the walls she had built around herself began to crumble, no longer able to keep them alive as more warm tears travelled down her face, leaving marks she could no longer cover.
“You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone. I have told no one yet.”, “Of course, I’ll keep quiet,” Hotch replied, gladdened she was speaking.
“Not even Spence, especially him. I have to tell him myself,” Y/N whispered in a broken voice.
“I’m pregnant. I haven’t told him yet.” Y/N breathed boldly.
Suddenly she felt like an idiot.
“I know I should have told him a long time ago but I just can’t, I don’t know if he even wants kids. What if he doesn’t love me. You can’t imagine how many of my friends have to raise children without a partner. I don’t know how he will react to it. We’d have to find a new flat and I know I wouldn’t be concentrating on my work for the next few months, maybe years, but on our child and what if we are expecting twins?” she bubbled away, unable to stop, needing to get the words off her chest she had kept to herself over the days and weeks.
“I know I’m an idiot.”, “How long have you and Reid been together?” Hotch interrupted Y/N.
A gentle smile graced his lips, but Y/N didn’t witness the happiness in his gaze.
“Almost five years,” Y/N answered.
“How long do you live together?”, “Over three years,” Y/N whispered.
“Who took care of you when you were shot and on bedrest? Who washed you and took care of you?” Hotch huffed again, even though he knew the answer.
“Spencer. He washed me, cooked and even carried me around the flat. Doctors’ orders. I made fun of him for that, and I know he would take care of me if I would have to stay in bed. I know him, yet I fear his reaction.” Y/N cried quietly.
“My dove, you are overthinking. You have found the answer to your questions, you have answered it by yourself. Spencer loves you; he is always by your side and would never leave you. He will be delighted and will read all pregnancy related books he will get.” Hotch replied in a gentle tone.
Carefully, Hotch brushed away the tears before they could fall. Reassuring words escaped and the heavy burden disappeared from her heart and a faint smile graced her lips, already looking forward to the unknown future, praying Spencer would stay by her side as Hotch said.
“You should tell him today; he is not only the father of the child but also your boyfriend of more than seven years and we all know he loves you and would never leave you. You don’t have to worry about it,” he assured.
He witnessed the fear still rested in her gaze. Faintly, Y/N smiled. She shrugged her shoulders, unsure why she still hadn’t found the strength to tell Spencer, her boyfriend, the man she trusted more than herself.
The numbers on the calendar were marked with a red circle, and the colour haunted the young woman in her dreams. Letters were blurring. The sentences no longer made sense, but Y/N kept going, knowing she couldn’t close the books and her eyes to find a moment of peace.
Her eyes had seen blood and tears, wounded people, but for the first time in years, she felt like a young student about to take her big exam. She knew exactly why she had chosen to continue her studies as a psychologist, but now she regretted choosing this path of hundreds of obstacles. She wished to shut the books, hide them away and never think of her failure again, but she did not do it. Her palms were wet and the tears running down her cheeks were reminiscent of a waterfall and leaping rivers travelling across the steel face of a mountain.
“I feel like an idiot. How can it be?” Y/N breathed, unable to understand why the words no longer made sense.
Books lay scattered on the floor around Y/N wrapped in a greenish fluffy blanket, trying in vain to get the contents of the books into her head, but after hours of intense studying, Y/N was shocked she still knew her name. Tears were welling again in her eyes, realised she had failed miserably.
Deep in thoughts, Y/N didn’t hear the footsteps echoing across the small and lovely decorated home. Angrily, Y/N ran her fingers through her hair, destroying the bun resting loosely on the back of her head, falling further and further down with each passing moment. Her eyes slid over the rows of words forming sentences, but then she exhaled loudly as she realised, she had read the words but could remember none of them underlined with a reddish line. Her right hand reached for the dotted cup at the side of the bed two steps away from her and brought it to her lips. A questioning expression painted her eyes. Frowning, Y/N realised she had emptied the cup. The lavender-scented tea was gone, as well as the claimed calming effect, and Y/N could no longer smell or taste lavender or chamomile and put the cup back on the side.
Suddenly the wood creaked.
“Do you need help, my love?” a voice spoke.
A loud curse wanted to overtake her lips. Her hand settled on her heart and exhaled in relief as she caught sight of her boyfriend with a slight smile on his troubled features. Spencer leaned against the frame of the door and folded his arms in front of his torso, staring down at his girlfriend drowning in a sea of books, not understanding anything anymore, wanting to lie down and wake up when the end of the world was around the corner. He hated to see her like this, saw sadness, hatred and anger in her eyes and the only thing Spencer wanted to do was to embrace her and let his girlfriend know everything was going to be alright again.
Y/N gave her boyfriend a weak smile and let her shoulders fall forward, feeling the heavy burden seeming to grow heavier and heavier resting on her body. Spencer pushed himself off the doorframe, took three long strides and settled on the floor a few steps away from her, scrutinising the open books spread out on the floor in no particular pattern.
“I don’t think you could even help me with this, Spence. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been trying to figure this out for two days.” she laughed. “See. I don’t even know what I’m trying to get into my head.” Y/N continued.
Y/N hid her face in her palms, wanting to make it impossible for Spencer to see the tears threatening to cross the borders. She tried to stay strong, but Spencer didn’t miss it, seeing the sadness in her gaze. Y/N brushed the tears gracing her cheeks with the back of her hand away and gulped.
“Can you show me what you are trying to understand? Maybe I won’t be able to understand it either. It must surely be hard if you can’t understand it. You are smart my love.” he breathed.
Spencer placed the three books in front of him on the side after he had shut them and slid closer to the love of his life.
“Look at me. I don’t understand everything, and it takes me a few minutes to understand something. Do you remember the case I told you about when you were sick? It took me a week to understand that the man had told me a false story.” Spencer let his girlfriend know in a calming tone.
He tried to cheer her up, but Y/N just gave a dry laugh, knowing full well that Spencer was trying to take the pain off her soul, trying to let her know she was smart, that she didn’t have to worry about it anymore.
“I have a better idea. It’s getting late my love.”, “No Spence,” Y/N interjected, knowing what Spencer was getting at, but she couldn’t stop, knowing she had to pass the tests to get her degree.
“Yes, it is, it’s after eight and after a certain time you shouldn’t bother with such things. Tomorrow I will take a day off from work and together we will try to understand this. It is a lot.” he whispered.
Spencer crawled towards her and settled at her side. His hands rested on her tense shoulders. A soft sound crossed her lips, feeling her aching muscles turn to molten gold, the weight fading away from her shoulders, and Spencer knew it would take a brief moment before Y/N would listen to him.
“I’ll make us some tea. What do you think of that, my dear? A full tub of hot water, some excellent wine and I can massage your feet. I am sure they must hurt a lot. I’ll order us dinner. What do you think about pasta, pizza or a salad? We also have ice cream in the fridge. We will lie down on the sofa, eat and watch a film or the series you were talking about at breakfast. It will do us good.” hatched Spencer in a whispering tone.
No reply crossed her lips. Y/N wanted to protest, to let him know she had to finish the chapter she had started, that she could not stop yet, but the words did not pass as his fingers slipped under the material of the T-shirt and began to release the knots on her back. A low moan escaped her. She tilted her head back, feeling her muscles turn to butter and the anxiety and worry disappearing from her body and mind. A slight grin spread across his face. Spencer knew the answer to the question he had asked, knew exactly how she would answer, and got the confirmation he needed when Y/N nodded her head in affirmation.
Spencer Reid had read enough books to know what needed to be done, knew the local library like the back of his hand, but after receiving the golden message that his girlfriend is pregnant, he refreshed his knowledge of pregnancies.
Nervously, the tall man paced the flat. His face was troubled and sweat danced down his spine. He strode up and down. The stuffed bag was on the side of the door next to the prepared slippers for his girlfriend. Spencer had already slipped into his sneakers at five o'clock in the early morning, was ready and had not closed his eyes after he heard the hisses and curses escaping Y/N in low tones.
Spencer saw the sharp pain running through her body but Y/N waved him off, listened to him, but the pain wasn’t long lasting, only for a few moments, not even ten seconds. His trembling fingers ran through his unmade hair and kept looking towards his girlfriend, who was sitting calmly in a serene mood in the middle of the sofa, lovingly stroking her belly. Smiling, Y/N looked up and spotted Spencer standing by the door. Calmly with fear coating his face he was waiting for his girlfriend to finally understand that the pains coming and going in waves were no longer Braxton Hicks but contractions.
“I’m taking you to the hospital now.” his firm voice broke the silence.
“They’re just Braxton Hicks. I still have two weeks, almost three, to go. It’s a false alarm. Little Reid here wants to have a little fun with us. He’s just testing you. Let’s have some breakfast and enjoy the morning.” Y/N responded calmly.
“You are in the early stages of labour, my love. You should eat a small snack and stay hydrated. No pancakes or a piece of cake with extra whipped cream.” Spencer recited what he had read, knowing exactly what was written in the book on the fifteenth page of the second chapter.
“Spence, I am hungry. I am starving. How can you be sure I’m already in labour? I’m fine. Little Reid is just kicking me a little too hard, but he will surely stop, and if he doesn’t, then you need to have a very serious talk with him. Spence, my love, come to me, caress my tummy and tell me it’s going to be okay. That’s all I need right now. I know you’re worried. I really understand, but please stop.” Y/N breathed exhausted.
Spencer laid his eyes on his girlfriend, saw the pain she was trying to hide, but Spencer saw it clearly. Y/N couldn’t hide anything from her boyfriend. The genius clasped the bag he had packed, placed it on the table and turned to the kitchen. Exhaling loudly, he took two chocolate bars with frozen strawberries followed by a pack of washed blueberries and walked with the snacks towards his girlfriend seated on the sofa with her aching legs resting on the table. Fatigue had settled on her face but she could no longer close her eyes.
“Spence, come to me and rest. Let’s watch a movie. You have been up for more than seven hours. It can’t be contractions and you’re making me nervous. We will wait a few hours and if it doesn’t get better then you can take me to the hospital.” Y/N exhaustedly breathed.
Y/N longed for a moment of peace, wanting to close her eyes and fall asleep. Spencer nodded as he strolled towards the sofa. He was aware he wasn’t able to get his very pregnant girlfriend into the vehicle he had prepared and take her to the nearest hospital to see a doctor.
“Agreed? Trust me, if it gets worse, I will let you know. You don’t have to fear Spence. Everything is okay.” Y/N laughed. “And then you will hold my hand and take me to the hospital.” Y/N continued.
No fear filled her as Y/N thought about the birth, but she didn’t take it lightly, knowing how painful the birth of a child was, having heard countless of stories from her friends, but the difference between them and her was that she had Spencer by her side who would keep the promises he had made, knew her boyfriend would be the best father under the sun.
"Do you have a name in mind, Y/N?” Spencer switched the subject.
Smiling, Spencer handed her the snacks and gratefully Y/N accepted them, opened the snack bar and took a big bite.
“No, still not. I’m sure that when we see our little Reid, we will know what his name will be. We’ll see him and we’ll both say a name at the same time. Spence, what do you want to say me? I understand you, but I’d rather sit here on the couch and watch a movie until my water breaks or the contractions start than in an overheated, bad-smelling hospital room.” Y/N said.
“That’s a good idea. And you don’t have to worry about that, I’ve booked us a private room. You’ll have your own fridge, TV and air conditioning. Don’t you want to at least get changed? My biggest fear is that you will give birth in the car.”, “But I’m sure you’d make a good obstetrician. I’m sure you would. I love you, so I’m going to change, you’re going to eat something and make yourself a cup of coffee in the meantime and enjoy a moment of peace.” Y/N interjected.
Spencer crossed his arms in front of his chest, hadn’t sat down by her side, was prepared, and even the car key was in his back pocket.
“Okay.” Spencer conceded afterwards.
Lovingly, his hands settled on her body and Spencer helped his girlfriend up, placing his hand on her back and leading her away from the sofa and escorting her to the kitchen. Lovely words escaped his words and Y/N smiled, forgetting the pain wandering across her body. A faint grin spread on his lips as he saw her gait reminding him of a penguin walking through high snow, he didn’t want to smile but he couldn’t help it. Spencer took a sip of the already cold liquid in the white cup before placing it on the kitchen island. His heart ached all at once. He looked up, almost tripping over his own feet, and ran through the short hallway swifter than the wind and jumped through the door.
“Y/N?” he nearly screamed.
Questioningly, Spencer glanced up at his girlfriend, but then he saw the wetness travelling down her bare legs. His lips were no longer touching. Her face was troubled, filled with pain.
“I think you were right after all Spence. They were contractions and they are getting a little worse. I’m sorry.” Y/N whispered.
“You have nothing to apologise for, my love. Nothing can happen to the baby now, but I think it would be better if your doctor will check on you and the baby, it may take a few more hours but if you say the pain is getting worse it would be better if we get on our way.” Spencer breathed lovingly.
The knowledge he had gained over long months returned, knowing exactly what to do.
“I’ll put a dress on you. After that, we will drive to the hospital. I’ve already packed your bag, and the car is ready too. You have to worry about nothing. I will hold your hand as promised. You will be a great mother Y/N.” no other words, telling her he was right after all didn’t escape the man.
Spencer came to a halt directly in front of his girlfriend. His eyes let her know she had nothing to be afraid of. Gently his hands rested on her body and breathed a loving kiss on her lips while his right hand rested on her stomach.
A reddish veil settled on the faces. The blanket slid down his chest, revealing his well-defined muscles adorned with reddish claw lines. Gracefully, his fingers slid over her skin. Guilt spread through Spencer, seeing the marks his nails had left over her body, kissed by the rays of the sun streaming through the narrow gap of the long curtains.
Spencer´s gaze slid from the dancing dust particles illuminated by the sun to his girlfriend, who had fallen asleep in his arms and did not appear to wake in the next few moments. Spencer was unable to take his eyes away from his beloved, running his gaze over the shape of her beautiful body. Blissfully, he smiled and again he was wondering what he had done to deserve Y/N. For a long time, the genius was planning to take Y/N as his wife, had bought a ring a few weeks ago but the blue velvet box was well hidden and the question didn’t make it past his lips.
Blue marks adorned her flesh, not covered by the quilt. Spencer did not wake his girlfriend, enjoying the moment of peace, laughing low and closing his eyes in pleasure. Suddenly he realised today was his day off and decided after not a moment’s thought to spend the whole day in bed, only getting out of bed if he had to. He didn’t wake her up. Sliding closer to his girlfriend, the grin on his features kissed by the rays of the rising sun grew wider, knew it was Y/N´s day off too.
The young couple had decided a few months ago to have at least four days off a month to spend more quality time together, and Spencer longed for more days filled with love and dates mirroring the first dates at lovely restaurants and bistros. Even if the couple spend whole days together at work, both longed for moments of peace, not for pictures causing nightmares, making it almost impossible to close the eyes. It was Y/N who suffered greatly if the cases turned and twisted like the limbs of a fallen man but on those nights, Spencer was always by her side, listening and helping by his mere presence.
The sun’s rays kissed his bare chest as he moved, finding a comfortable position and leaned against the wood so he could be closer to the love of his life. Spencer loved her like the first day, loved her from the deepest depths of his heart, and couldn’t think of a better girlfriend than Y/N.
His roughened fingertips slid over her forehead again, brushed the strands of hair away, and whispered words of love and adoration into her ear. Her eyelids twitched and through narrowed eyes, Y/N looked up at Spencer. Her face contorted into a grimace, but then a slight smile spread across her lips, gazing into the eyes surveying her lovingly. Y/N chuckled as his hand cupped her cheek. They lost each other in their gazes, looked at each other enamoured. Y/N raised her right hand and stroked his cheek with her thumb, feeling the slight growth of his beard under her touch, feeling the bumps, and smiled.
“Good morning, my love.” Y/N breathed, losing herself in her lover’s eyes as he continued with his loving touches.
“Good morning. Do you know what day it is today, my darling?” asked Spencer joyfully.
Questioningly, Y/N looked at her long-haired boyfriend. Her brows almost touched, and a question wanted to cross her lips, but before the first syllable, the first word could cross Y/N realised what day it was. The smile softened and turned into a wide grin.
“What do you say we go to the mountains today? We can hike. I heard the park there is nice, and I heard you talking about it with JJ. She visited it last week. Or we could do some work in the garden.” Y/N breathed sleepily.
No answer escaped Spencer who shook his head in response.
“Why not?”, “We can just stay here in bed. We can sit in the garden and lie under the tree and enjoy the day. No cleaning nor working. I’ll buy some takeout, ice cream and other sweets at the supermarket,” Spencer explained in a joyful tone.
His voice was rough. A sudden shiver ran down her spine, remembering his words of adoration, telling her how much he loves her, how much he is longing for her touch, craving her closeness. Y/N wanted to get up from the bed but a soft whine crossed her lips. Spencer’s eyes widened, looked questioningly down at his girlfriend, searching for wounds, wanting to understand what had happened, but couldn’t find the answer, didn’t see any open wounds adorning her skin and suddenly he saw the answer. The blanket had slipped down her frame and bruises radiated all over her body from her neck to her stomach in one trail.
“I’m sorry, my dove. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Do you need something? Are you in pain?” Spencer whispered.
No traces of mild pain graced her face, had enjoyed the night to the fullest. Amused, Y/N peered up at her lover. Her glance rested on his throat and spotted the scratches she had left on his flesh. Y/N sank her teeth into her lower lip.
“Spencer, you certainly didn’t hurt me, you could never hurt me.” Y/N immediately interjected. “And you should take a closer look at yourself. Blue suits you well.” Y/N joked amused.
Y/N quickly rose from the bed, pushed herself off of the pillow and let her hands rest on his cheek, brushed away the traces of fear and distress and let Spencer wordlessly know she was fine and feeling no pain. The next gust carried the clouds away. Spencer leaned forward, rested his hands on her hers and breathed a loving kiss on her lips.
Winter ruled in his eyes, and mist clouded his senses. Spencer folded his arms in front of his chest and gazed into nothingness, half-heartedly listening to the escaping words and ignoring the questioning looks directed at him.
His gaze was stony. Thunder and lightning ignited the darkness. He didn’t want to eavesdrop, just wanted to get a sauce from the fridge that Rossi had forgotten to put on the table. Spencer slowly went ahead, sure neither Hotch nor Y/N had noticed that he had come, that he had followed them. The man in the dark suit had not dared to enter the kitchen, hiding in the darkness of the shadows, standing like a statue when he heard his girlfriend’s voice shattering into hundreds of pieces.
Spencer didn’t know whether to be angry or disappointed. He felt empty even though he wanted to be delighted, but his heart ached and he couldn’t explain it. Spencer desired to take his girlfriend in his arms, wondered how he had not noticed the symptoms of the early stages of pregnancy, noticed many things, almost everything, and suddenly, it all made sense. Vaguely Spencer remembered the moments when Y/N didn’t want to drink wine, the early mornings when she refused to have a cup of coffee with him as usual. Laughing low, he noticed she had been wearing loose-fitting clothes for several days, weeks and suffered more from headaches or went to bed earlier and didn’t want to fall asleep in his arms anymore. His heart ached, remembered how she prevented him from touching her skin, tried to make it impossible to hug her, to hold her against his chest and whisper delicate words into her ear.
“Did you find the sauce?” echoed Rossi.
Deep in his thoughts, Spencer went ahead and settled down on the chair. His heart was beating fast, and he tried to put a mask of coldness on his features. Confused, they all looked down at Spencer, seeing the joy filling his gaze. Hush voices forced them to look up and spotted Hotch and Y/N as they joined them. Spencer sensed her presence and looked out of the corner of his eye at Y/N, smiling faintly as she returned to the terrace of the tranquil house.
No hatred filled Spencer’s sparkling eyes, had heard the fear in her voice when she told Hotch the well-hidden secret. Spencer quickly banished the smile from his lips, heard the voice he would recognise among hundreds, and lowered his gaze, knowing well his eyes would fall on her belly. He wanted to touch her hand, rest his hands on her belly, wanted to feel life growing inside her, massage her feet and tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the entire world. But then he clenched his hands into fists, making it impossible for his fingers to touch her or to reach for the mobile phone in his pocket to search for suitable healthy recipes on the internet.
Pride filled his body. He looked back and Spencer thought he saw a barely discernible unevenness under the flowing material of the long dress. Spencer swallowed. He didn’t know what to do. A grin stretched across his lips as he realised that in a few months he would hold his child in his arms, and then he looked at Y/N, the mother of his child.
“I’ll take care of everything. You don’t have to worry about anything, Y/N,” Hotch breathed in Y/N’s ear, but Spencer could hear every word loud and clear.
“Thank you.”, “I think you know what you should do. Tell him soon,” Hotch added and Y/N nodded.
Spencer rose quickly and pushed the chair next to his back. Giving his girlfriend a slight smile, Spencer forced his eyes to rest on her delicate features, kissed by the light of the shining sun, repeating over and over in his head that he wasn’t supposed to look at her stomach.
“Thank you, Spence,” Y/N spoke, settling down on the chair Spencer offered.
“Can I get you anything? Do you need anything, my love? It’s really warm and the rays of the sun can make you feel weak. Are you drinking enough?” Spencer asked.
Concerns coated his voice as he gave Y/N´s shoulder a tender squeeze. Y/N shook her head, clutched the glass and brought it to her lips. Spencer settled down next to his girlfriend, felt his gaze keep sliding to her and realised water was in the glass and felt a wave of relief wash over him.
“Is everything all right, Spence?” asked Y/N.
Spencer didn’t answer, shaking his head and turning back to the others gathering, chatting around the richly set table. Hotch spoke to the others and suddenly, they all nodded.
“I’ll get the sauces Spencer couldn’t find. Could you please help me, guys? I doubt I will manage to carry all the bottles on my own.” asked Rossi and Morgan nodded.
Hotch, followed by JJ and the others disappeared into the small house. Y/N looked after them questioningly and a silent curse escaped her, knowing what Hotch was asking of her, wanting her to tell Spencer the news as soon as possible, but this was not how Y/N had imagined it.
"Spence?” Y/N whispered.
Y/N turned to Spencer. A warm breeze picked up and swept through her hair. His eyes rested on her. Slowly, almost as if she were afraid, Y/N turned to her lover and the moment their eyes met, Y/N caught sight of the joy in his gaze.
“You know, don’t you?” Y/N whispered.
The faint smile faded slowly from his lips, seeing the disappointment rooting in her watering eyes. He remembered the words she had said coated in the layer of fear and felt his heart ache in pain.
“I love you and I would never, never in my entire life, leave you and our little one. We may have never talked about it, but I want to be a father. The father of our child. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I just wanted to get something from the fridge, I didn’t want to, but then I heard everything.” Spencer replied.
His hands reached for hers, clasping her trembling fingers after he moved his chair closer to her. Gently, he brushed the tears coating her cheeks away. Loving words escaped Spencer in tender tones.
Tears were falling. Y/N listened to the words and did exactly what Spencer asked of her and settled on his lap. His right hand moved up her spine and pressed her head closer to his chest, allowing her to listen to the serenade of his heart. Spencer placed a kiss full of adoration, full of emotions, on her skin above her temple. His arms wrapped around her body, pressing her gently against his chest and promises Y/N was sure he would keep escaped him.
The lovers did not notice the glances upon them, but then the people in the house beyond the windows witnessed the answer to the questions they had been asking themselves, watching as Spencer’s hands resting on Y/N’s abdomen delicately caressed the appearing bump.
This fic is a special one for another fic swap I participated in! This one is for @lexieshuntingsstuff✨
“Crying Over a Dead Man”
Spencer Reid x Reader
Warnings - mention of shooting, killing and criminals but with a fluffy ending?
———————————————
My heart was pounding as 3 shots from my gun fired true.
The sound of the each one echoed in my ears and a shiver ran down my spine.
My legs turned to jelly and I felt the world slow around me.
The man who stood straight ahead of me, now lay flat on the pavement.
A gasp left my mouth as I hit the cobblestone, time resuming.
“I’ve just killed a man”
I did my best to focus on my breathing but to no avail, I couldn’t stop the tears either.
I was crying. No, I was hyperventilating… over a criminal?
The team surround me but I only look for one face.
His face, Spencer’s face.
I feel his arms hook around my body and I’m raised from the ground.
He holds me close but I couldn’t focus. The tears fell but my face was vacant. I was numb.
Every time I tried to wipe the tears, more would fall and every time I tried to speak my throat would close up.
So, I remained silent. Silent on the plane ride back, and silent on the ride back to my apartment.
Spencer would glance in my direction every once in awhile but didn’t question me, I’d smile every now and then to reassure him but that was the best I could give him.
That night, I lay in bed replaying the events over and over again in my head. I couldn’t rid the sounds of the shots I fired.
I shivered and pulled the duvet over my body, trying to feel a sense of safety.
“Y/n? Are you okay?” Spencer whispers.
I reach for his hand and he moves across the bed towards me.
I curl into him as the sobs escape from me once again.
Spencer cradles me and whispers sweet nothings into my as an attempt to calm me.
“It’s okay, let it out. Let it all out”
I don’t know how long I laid there in his arms but when the tears finally cease I look towards my boyfriend.
“Why am I crying over a dead man Spencer? He was a criminal. A dangerous person. He doesn’t deserve my tears.”
Spence looks down at me with his big brown eyes before pressing a kiss on my forehead.
“Crying for a man, no matter if he’s good or bad isn’t wrong. It shows you are human and capable of emotion. Emotions like empathy and above all mercy”
His voice was gentle, calm but I felt the weight of his words.
I was not a bad person for showing emotion even to someone who may not deserve it.
I love my job, I love Spencer and I love the life I have now and I won’t let one person ruin that.
summary: early in y/n’s and spencer’s relationship, y/n fears the growing distance between them, although what seemed to be possible infidelity, is actually much worse–for spencer.
word count: 1,007 reading time: 4 mins
warnings: angst
a/n: HERE IS THE FINALE!!! I’ve had the most amazing time writing with the talented @goldentournesol. Steph is incredible and so creative, please show her some love! Hope you enjoy :)
I was afraid the chocolate he got me would taste sour, but it was luscious. I found comfort in the sweetness, just as I had found comfort in Spencer. It’s been a week since his confession. I also couldn’t help but feel a little ridiculous in my accusations. I had jumped to conclusions and couldn’t see the signs of my boyfriend in pain. The guilt ate away at me for a while, but Spencer let me know that he had been hiding it to the best of his ability. I eventually told him that I wanted to be the one he ran to when he was in pain. Both of us had our fair share of issues with vulnerability and insecurity, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t work through them together.
And so, here I sat, my head in his lap, his hand in my hair like all those weeks ago. This time, when our gazes met, there were no underlying feelings. No words left unsaid. The air was finally cleared and we could finally breathe. The air tasted sweeter somehow, now that I understood fully. The past week was not easy. Reconciliation was a bumpy road and I was not prepared for the ride. Spencer and I are stubborn, proud individuals. I had almost kicked him out of my apartment that night. I had almost ended the relationship right then and there. What else was I supposed to do when he’d said such vicious things?
But he’d seen the crack in my armor. The room was heavy with the guilt I felt and my subsequent tears were even heavier. The tears fell free before I could even tell them not to. His behavior made sense. I saw it then, he’d squint if the room was too bright and would often ask me to turn the TV volume down. His stories had become less animated, he had become less animated. He was going to sleep much earlier than he usually did. I should have caught on, but I just assumed that his long days had taken a toll on him. Spencer was no stranger to overworking himself.
He explained that he’d gone to countless doctors and I expressed how upset it made me that he was going through all that on his own. I could have been there for him, I could have supported him, but he wasn’t used to having someone to lean on. He was his own protection all his life, and I understood that. I made it clear that he had someone to lean on now, someone who loved him and looked after him.
The doctors had trouble diagnosing him so he referred to a renowned geneticist. She was one of the greatest minds in her field apparently. It was a she, after all, and she had a name. Maeve Donovan. It was easier to have a name. It personified her. She was less of an abstract being and more of a person. I thought about how much of my time and energy she’d unknowingly spent before I even knew who she was. Or I guess I was the one who’d spent it.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, looking up at Spencer, who was focused on the TV now. He finally had the weekend off after finishing a case in Wisconsin. I’d been tasked by Dr. Donovan to make sure that he’s getting at least eight hours of sleep each night. He’d been good at going to bed on time, his issue was with staying asleep more than going to sleep, anyway.
“I’ve been better, but to be honest, I’ve also been much worse.” He shrugged. Spencer’s eyes were never unkind, his soul was too kind to let them show anything other than that. Even now, his eyes were soft, even softer due to the dim light in my apartment.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I sat up to face him. I’d been doing my own research on migraines. Mostly how to relieve pain. Dr. Donovan also mentioned a series of supplements that he had to keep track of. I’ve made sure to incorporate more vitamin-enriched foods into our diet as well as made sure to keep him adequately hydrated.
I recognized the mischief in his eyes before he could even get a word out, “Actually, I think it’s time for my hourly dose of kisses.”
I threw my head back in a hearty laugh before cupping his face gingerly and bringing it closer to mine, “Who am I to deny you your medication?”
His grin was contagious, it went straight to my heartstrings and I felt weightless when he looked at me like that. His hands were perched on my waist and I brushed our noses together once before sealing our lips.
Together we lived in the clouds, sharing the same bubble. We’ve finally rebuilt the fantasy we had before, although this time a newfound trust had formed. However, that is not to say that everything was instantly perfect. Frankly, I think that the inexperience and the unknown is what gives beauty to this world, our world. To me, anything with him was perfect, no matter what the great philosophers say. But they were right in one aspect: defining voluntaryignorance.
The bliss I felt in our intimate space was addicting, it turned my brain into gullible mush. I didn’t want to believe that eternity didn’t exist. How can it not when it feels like this? I refuse to believe it. But harsh reality does not lie, it is only ourselves willing to fall for it. One day, Spencer’s arms would no longer be around me, and his lips would no longer brush softly against mine. The bubble would shatter like glass, the deception following suit. But for now, this lie was a silent agreement between Spencer and I. No matter the blissful ignorance we shared between us; no matter the ignorance of Spencer’s remaining lucidity, I knew this was the only lie we wished to be true.
A/n: this is just a little something because i’m super busy but here we are because 1. Dad!Spence and 2. this is his episode like he looks so unbelievably pretty i wanna cry
Summary: Just a little blurb about right after Daisy Reid is born
Pairing:Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (fluff)
Content Warning: set in a hospital | couple of references to sex
Masterlist Navigation
“Are you tired, my love? It’s late. Or rather early.” Spencer’s raspy voice comes from the chair next to the bed you were laying in. He sounded so tired, like the way you were feeling.
You glance at your phone to check the time. 4:43 AM. Your eyelids feel heavy, much heavier than they’d ever felt during your time at the BAU. All the hours awake chasing down serial killers didn’t exhaust half as much of your energy.
You half nod at him trying to use the least amount of energy as you possibly could. “Yeah, incredibly. I was in labor for 14 hours.” You laugh a little, before stroking the tiny child’s cheek. She was just so beautiful, and everything you had ever wanted; a delicate baby. From the look that had been on Spencer’s face for the last 18 hours, when you were not looking your best, it was all he wanted, too.
“You did so well, darling.” His hand creeps over onto yours, and strokes Daisy’s tiny foot, covered by pink socks with unicorns. “She’s so perfect and just so little.” He said, concern filling his voice at how much he needed to protect this baby. His eyes were getting glassy again, filled with the love he had for his baby.
“I know. And she’s so calm. I thought she would be crying and screaming.” You agree, looking up into Spencer’s eyes. He smiles and places a gentle kiss on your hand. “I’m so excited to take her home and dress her up, literally everyone has brought dresses for her.” You say, thinking about the presents you got from the baby shower. and all the other presents you knew you’d be getting soon.
Spencer chuckles lightly. “Mm, Penelope always said she was going to spoil her, but I greatly underestimated her generosity.” The nursery wardrobe back at your place was filled with toys from a shopping trip you guessed she’d taken with Rossi. Every possible style and every color of the rainbow. “I’m just so happy, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.” He says, and you see the glassy eyes of your husband that you love so much.
You raise your eyebrows. “Hey. What about when we met and the day when we got married, you dork?” You ask him.
At your mock reprimand, he clenches his teeth. “Yeah, well today and when we got married were the best days. The day we met wasn’t. I was so awkward and you were dating that other guy, I don’t really care what his name was.” You laugh at the fact that Spencer refused to say his name, he never liked him. Looking back on the last 5 years of your life surprised you with how far you’ve come. Spencer and now Daisy were the best things to come out of it. “But as for Daisy, she’s not dating until she’s 20 at least.” He promises, looking at the little girl.
You roll your eyes, hitting his shoulder. “You’re sounding toxic, Spence. Just because you weren’t having sex until you were, like, 30 doesn’t mean she can’t.” You joke, laughing at the quip before he could form a retort.
“Be quiet.“ He complains, throwing his head back on the seat. "I had sex before I was 30.” He claims, making you laugh more even though you knew it was true.
You yawn and cover your mouth with the hand you weren’t using to hold the baby. “Here, darling. Give her to me and I’ll hold her. You need some sleep.” He requests, taking Daisy out of your hand.
“Thank you, Spence. And thank you for always being there. ” You smile over at him as you get settled into the hospital bed. “Daisy is lucky to have to best dad in the whole world.” You gush to Spencer who was sitting there holding Daisy with so much concentration. Something about the pregnancy hormones just made you want to talk about how much you loved Spencer.
“You’re the one that did all the work, I just sat here.” He laughs, taking his eyes off her for a moment to send you a smile. You knew he did more than that, being as involved in your labor as he could.
“I just love you, Spence.” You tell Spencer who leans over and kisses you gently.
“I just love you, Mrs. Reid.” He replies before turning back to Daisy, noticing you were almost asleep. “And I love you so much, my little Baby Reid.”
When the love of your life suffers from a disease that affects their memory of their life with you, what do you do? Will you spend your last days with them, trying to get them to remember you? The life you had, or would you give up and let them forget you?
Summary- Dr. Spencer Reid felt his whole life change when Agent Y/n L/n joined the BAU. She came in like a cool summer breeze changing everything Spencer knew about love and his capacity to care for someone so much. Y/n came to the BAU with a tragic past, her only goal was to save lives and make the world a safer place for everyone. She meets a skinny shaggy haired doctor, which causes her whole life to change, much like Spencer, will she fall in love or will her tragic past or even her job prevent her?
Pairings- Dr. Spencer Reid x f!reader.
A/N- This is a notebook inspired story, this story will be told and wrote like a chapter book. So some of the endings will not always make sense. Also I don’t claim go own Criminal Minds or the Notebook, this is solely for entertainment purposes and for enjoyment. Some of the lines are from the notebook movie, again I don’t claim to own either fandom/tv show/ movie. I try to make Y/n as vague as possible so shes more inclusive so if there is any descriptive things that don’t apply to you feel free to ignore them. Also just putting this out there as the story progresses Maeve is still alive and well, she is a good friend of Spencer and Y/n’s. There will be graphic content and sexual scenes in later chapters, warnings will be added as they go. Also if you want to be tagged send me an as or comment here, also send requests I’m down for making little fics.
Spencer looked at his reflection in the mirror of the fitting room as he adjusted the sleeves of the suit jacket he was trying on, he sighed and stepped out of the small room into the sight of his coworkers.
“Do I look ok?” he asked his friends nervously
“Lose the gray shirt, go for white.” Derek said, looking up from his phone to Spencer. “Garcia just sent me a picture of the tie they got you that matches Y/n’s dress.” Derek said as he passed his phone to Rossi, sitting beside him.
“Yeah, white will look best.” The Italian agent said, looking up from the picture on Derek’s phone. “JJ has your tie, Spencer. She said she will bring it by later today, or in the morning it seems.” he said with a chuckle as he handed Derek his phone back.
“Looks like they’re breaking out the wine.” Derek said, chucking at the picture of Penelope holding up two bottles of wine in Y/n’s living room.
“Good Italian wine they’re having too.” Rossi remarked, smirking.
Derek looked back up at Spencer, “get the tux but with a white shirt.” he told him.
Spencer turned around to look at his reflection again and nodded his head in acceptance of the suit before he turned and told the employee nearby what he wanted. When the employee went to look for his shirt, Spencer went back inside the fitting room to change back.
Spencer handed the suit he neatly hung back on the hanger to the employee and followed his friends up to the registers to pay for his items. As he let Derek drive him back to his apartment he began to think about Y/n and if she really liked him or only saw him as a friend and coworker. Spencer then wondered if she was having fun with the girls.
“Why are you so quiet pretty boy?” Derek asked as he glanced from the road to Spencer then back to the road.
“Just thinking.” Spencer said looking from the window to Derek.
“About Y/n?” Derek asked softly, looking over to see Spencer nodding his head as he looked out the window again. Derek looked back to the road before he spoke. “Don’t overthink your feelings or hers, it won’t end well if you do.”
Spencer and Derek sat in silence the rest of the way to Spencer’s apartment, once Spencer began to climb out of the car Derek spoke again.
“Keep giving her those gifts, let it come naturally.” Derek said as he watched Spencer grab his tux from the back of the car. Spencer walking into his apartment building, heading for his home as he kept repeating what Derek told him in his mind.
Y/n giggled as she sipped on her wine before she grabbed the box Emily was holding out to her. “What’s this?” she asked in confusion.
“Just open it.” Penelope said as she applied a face mask, looking into Y/n’s makeup mirror she set in Y/n’s coffee table.
Y/n shook her head with a laugh before she set her wine glass down and began to open the lid to the box. She let out a small gasp when she saw the necklace Emily showed her in the shop. “Emily… You didn’t have to do this.”
“Consider it my welcome to the team gift, that is several months overdue.” Emily said as best she could with the drying face mask on her face.
“Thank you, so much.” Y/n said before their laughter was interrupted by Y/n’s buzzer going off. “That must be the food.” Y/n said as she got up to buzz the delivery guy in. Y/n paid and brought their food back to be passed out to the girls. The rest of the night the girls laughed and cried together, just spending some time being friends.
Y/n walked into the bullpen with a groan as she felt the bright lights of the room hit her eyes. She walked over to her desk and plopped down on her chair, dropping her bag from her shoulder to the floor beside the chair.
Y/n spotted the coffee cup in her desk and grinned, looking over to Spencer. “Spencie, you are truly a Godsend.” she said as she saw him walk over to her desk, she stood and gave him a hug causing him to stand stiff.
“Uh, thank you.” Spencer said once she let him go and grabbed the coffee he got for her. She took a sip and sighed happily after.
“What are you guys doing here?” Hotch asked, walking into the bullpen in plain clothes as he looked around at the team that was in the room.
“What do you mean Hotch?” Derek asked him in confusion.
“We have the day off, I’m only here because security called me.” Hotch said with a chuckle.
Y/n scoffed and shook her head, her hand reaching up to hold her head. “You’re telling me I could’ve been at home sleeping off the wine headache?” She asked sarcastically as she reached down to pick up her bag. “Though if I did know I wouldn’t have gotten my daily dose of Spencer coffee.” She said as she grinned at JJ after seeing Spencer scratch the back of his neck in nervousness.
“Guys go home we have a ball tomorrow.” Hotch said with a laugh, walking with everyone to the elevator. When they all began to load up in the elevator Y/n and Spencer slid to the back, standing behind everyone Y/n quietly switched the hand she was holding her coffee cup in and hooked her pinkie finger with Spencer’s once she freed up her hand.
Y/n looked up at Spencer to see him smile before she leaned her head on his shoulder as they rode like the rest of the way down, only separating when the doors open to the elevator and everyone began to step out.
“Guys, let’s have lunch at my place.” Rossi said looking at his team. “I’ll cook and from my profile of SSA L/n you seem like quite the cook.”
Y/n chuckled nervously and shrugged bashfully. “I dabble but I’m down for some famous David Rossi cooking.”
“Dabble? Bish please I’ve seen your kitchen.” Penelope said, her arm hooked with Derek’s as they stood around in the garage. “You’re like a regular old Rachel Ray.”
“That settles it. We’re doing it. Everyone go home, change into more comfortable clothes and meet at my house after.” Rossi called out as he walked to his car, his finger raised as he gestured to the team behind him.
Y/n watched everyone walk to their cars and begin to leave, she watched Spencer begin to walk to the exit of the garage to take public transportation back to his apartment. “Spencer!” Y/n called out to him causing him to stop and turn back around to look at her. “Let me give you a ride?” She asked him, holding her keys up.
“Uh-uh- yeah sure.” Spencer said walking back over to him. “You don’t have to stop at my apartment, all my clothes are like this.”
Y/n smiled and nodded her head in thought. “Ok, it won’t take me long to change.” Y/n said as she unlocked her car and began to walk around to the driver’s side door. “Come on, join me in my trusty steed.” Y/n joked with a chuckle as she slid into her seat. Spencer laughed at her joke and slid into her passenger seat.
Y/n started her car and began to pull out of her parking spot then out of the fluorescent-lit garage. She started driving to her apartment, Spencer would steal glances at her as they drove, the soft sounds of Y/n singing to whatever song was on the radio, every time he looked at her a small smile would grace his lips.
“We’re almost there, take a picture when you can.” Y/n said with a smile, as she turned into her assigned parking space in the parking lot of her apartment complex.
“I have an eidetic memory, I physically can not forget things.” Spencer said as he watched as she climbed out of her car.
Y/n laughed and leaned down to look at the man who was still sitting in the passenger seat of her car. “You coming smarty pants?” She stood up straight as she shut her door, moving to lean her hip again the hood as she waited for Spencer to get out. Y/n pressed the lock button on her key fob after he climbed out and began to walk up to her building complex.
Spencer looked around at the complex. “This is a very secure place.” He noted when he looked back to watch her scan her keycard to enter into the gate that surrounded the living complexes and courtyard.
Y/n held the gate open for him and nodded as they began to walk to the building her apartment was in. “Yeah, safest one I could find when I moved here.” She said softly as unlocked her door and stepped in letting him in behind.
“Why this place?” Spencer asked as he looked around at the organized chaos in her apartment. The chaos he knew from his own living space. Y/n sighed as she set her keys and bag down on the kitchen counter, Spencer looked into the kitchen and noted in his mind what Penelope was saying was true about Y/n’s culinary expertise.
“I’ll tell you someday.” She said gesturing to her living room. “Please make yourself comfortable, I’ll just be a minute.” Spencer walked further into the living room as he heard her footsteps receding down the hallway to what he assumed was her bedroom.
After she changed and gather her things they were back on the road. heading to Rossi’s house for the lunch he offered. The whole team had a great time at the Italian agent’s house. Rossi true to his word roped Y/n into cooking with him. The time spent at his house was spent in laughter and fun. Lunch turned into dinner with Y/n being the sole cook this time and soon they were all heading home.
Spencer laid in his bed thinking about what Y/n might look like at the ball. No matter what she wore she would still look beautiful in his eyes. The night faded into the early morning dawn of the day of the ball.
The girls decided to all go to Emily’s apartment to get ready for the ball. They did each other’s hair and helped with their makeup. Y/n smiled at the girls as they fussed with their dresses. She looked out the window and smiled again at the soled of the setting sun. she looked back down at the mirror in front of the window and continued applying her light red lip stain.
Y/n finished her lipstick and stood, walking over her dressed that was hanging on the back of the door. “JJ help me get into this?” She asked the girl in question who was the first one dressed. She stepped into the dress and pulled it up where it belonged before she turned to let the blonde zip her up. “Girls the guys will be here any minute.” She stated as she gathered her stuff.
Right as Y/n said that the doorbell to Emily’s apartment buzzed signaling the rest of the team’s arrival, causing Penelope and Emily to squeal in surprise. She rolled her eyes and laughed at the pair before she followed her female coworkers to the door to meet the guys downstairs to ride to the venue together.
Spencer stood outside one of the SUVs they were using for the night, watching each one of his coworkers exit the building. Spencer let out a quiet gasp when he saw Y/n, her being the last one to walk out. His eyes raked over her frame taking in every detail, knowing that it will be in his memory forever.
Y/n smiled as she stood in front of him. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She said softly before she pulled out a yellow red-tipped rose that she had made into a boutonniere. “I uh- I got this for you.” she said shyly as she gestured to the item in her hands.
“Thank you.” Spencer said as he stepped closer to her.
“May I?” She asked as she looked up at the agent through her mascara-coated lashes.
“Uh, Yes please.” Spencer said, feeling her skirt brush again his legs as she stepped closer to him. His hands instantly went to her hips, not knowing it was to keep her steady or for him to hide the shakiness of his hands. He committed the way the silky tule felt under his fingertips to his memory. Y/n focused on putting the flower in the buttonhole of his suit jacket and pinning it in place.
Spencer looked down at her hands as she straightened the accessory on his jacket. He had to suppress the whine when she stepped away, looking back to her face as it held a small smile directed at him, a blush coating her cheeks.
“Let’s go love birds.” Derek said with a chuckled as he and their teammates watched them. Soon everyone was loaded into the two SUVs and began driving to the location of the FBI ball.
Y/n and Spencer sat in the back seat of one of the vehicles, Spencer looked over at Y/n and watched the lights of the city flash across her face. Spencer’s eyes looked down to his hand that was resting on the seat between them, her pinky finger was hooked onto his pinky and ring fingers. He smiled at the gesture and almost pouted when she pulled away as they arrived at the location.
“Let me get the door.” Spencer told her as he got out of the car and rushed around to open her door. He helped her out of the car and smiled at her after he shut the door behind her. Y/n looked around before she linked her arm with his, as they began to walk up the walkway to the entrance.
The evening was spent in fun, dancing, and laughing after the awards were passed out and announcements of changes being made in the bureau were made. Soon the music slowed and Spencer asked Y/n to dance. She looked up and smiled, taking the hand he offered. He lead her to the dance floor and began to dance to the slow tune playing.
“Spencie?” Y/n asked softly, looking up from his shoulder that she was resting her head upon.
“Hmm?” He hummed out as he rested his head against hers.
“Those roses? The ones you gifted me, the coloring means friendships and or falling in love. You obviously knew that you know everything, mister four PhDs.” She joked causing Spencer to chuckle and sigh in contentment. “What is your meaning behind them?” She asked softly.
“Well, we’re already friends…” Spencer said softly. “Is it bad I meant them to be I am falling in love with you?”
Y/n smiled into his neck before she began to whisper. ‘The poems of the privacy of the night, and of men like me. This poem dropping shy and unseen that I always carry. And that all men carry.’ Y/n took a breath and pulled back to look at him.
'Love thoughts, love juice, love-odor, love yielding, love-climbers, and the climbing sap.’ She continued only stopping when he started speaking.
'Arms and hands of love, lips of love, phallic thumb of love, breasts of love, bellies pressed and glued together with love.’ Spencer recited from memory.
'Earth of chase love, life that is only life after love.’ She recited along with him. She stopped speaking thinking that they were going to stop, she let out a soft gasp when he continued.
'The body of my love, the body of the woman I love, the body of the man, the body of the earth.’ Spencer finished, as he looked into her eyes deeply. “Spontaneous me. Walt Whitman.” Spencer said as he smiled softly at her.
He began to lead Y/n to the open doors that lead out to a garden, as the song finished, the garden only held a handful of people that were talking and laughing softly amongst themselves. Y/n leaned against the railing of a small gazebo he brought her to.
“You read the book of poems I gave you.” She stated softly with a smile.
“I’ve read it and re-read it several times.” He said shyly, as he rubbed the back of his neck. “And that poem I’ve deduced is your favorite.”
“Why do you think that?” She asked, tilting her head as she looked at him, her arms coming up to rub her bare shoulders.
Spencer watched her before he took off his jacket and put it around her shoulders. “It was the fact the spine was worn and the edges of the pages were worn.” He stated as he reached up to rub her arms in an effort to warm her up.
“Hey, love birds.” Emily sing-songed, coming up to the pair, slightly tipsy. “Time to go or you’ll be riding in a yellow chariot.”
Spencer laughed and gestured for Y/n to lead the way, she smiled and began to follow the tipsy Emily to the SUVs. Y/n silently reached back for his hand, he saw this and reached for hers as well, smiling as she used one of her fingers to grip his. Spencer made a mental note to as her why she does this.
Spencer rode with her till she was dropped off at her apartment, even though it was in the opposite direction of his own. He walked her up to her door, making sure that she got home and inside safely before he let the driver take him back to his apartment. He saved the rose she gave him, much like she did with the ones he got her.
They both fell asleep in their beds, each of their thoughts thinking of the other as they drifted off.
Heyo, i will probably have the next part of Remember Me out tonight, please don’t hold me to it or hate me. But to give a little background about myself I work for a SNU (special needs unit) at a school and we’ve offically started spring break yesterday, and I got a little distracted by reading and spring cleaning. A big thank you to those of you who are being patient with me i really appreaciate it. love you guys lots <3
Hey guys so I know I said I get the next chapter of Remember me out, but I’m behind I’m so sorry I swear it will be out this week, everything’s got a little hectic in my life. Thanks so much for your patience
Hey guys, I won’t be getting the next part of Remember me out this week if I do it’ll be Friday night, Saturday at the latest. A lot has hit me all at once and I just need to focus on that. I swear it will be up tho
How you and Spencer spend the first day (Chor yatt) of the Lunar New Year with your extended family (Imagine)
More Spencer Reid Imagines for celebrating Lunar New Year (Chinese New Year) Also an extension of the Lunar New Imagine I did previously.
- “Okay, just a quick reminder. My extended family’s a hyper bunch.” “I can take it. I’m an agent remember.”
- Boy, was Spencer wrong. By the time the both of you reached the main house; he was like deer in headlights at the amount of relatives, friends and family you have.
- Spencer was instantly loved by your elders - Grandaunts, Granduncles etc.
- Your younger cousins would find him awkward, but they are all smitten and awestrucked by his magic tricks.
- Spencer would also talk about random things and facts with your uncles, aunts that are back from overseas.
- During eating time, he would use forks and spoons. Don’t worry, you use it too so he won’t feel left out.
- Firecrackers would startle him a little if he is talking with your grandaunts or granduncles.
- Extra red packets (ang pao) from the elderly because he is a sweet guy.
- Kiasu (look up this slang) aunties would compete with you by comparing your cousin’s successes. But, your mom would just shut them down on both of your behalf by flexing his job (FBI agent), his credentials (3 PhDs, 3 BAs)
- “Your mom doesn’t have to do that. I’m very grateful for her, but she really doesn’t have to.” “Spence, my mom did that is because… She sees you as her son-in-law” “Oh… Ohhhhhhh… *whispers* but, I haven’t propose yet…”
- He would still beat your extended family in card games which both you and your mom just laugh it off.
- When the festive mood is cooling down, the both of you would sit by the swing at the patio reciting poems to one another.
- “This is the best lunar new year ever.” “By the way, once we are married. It’s our turn to give out red packets.”
summary:one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her new friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid. (Baby Spence)
pairing:Fem!OC x Spencer
word count: 4.2k
content warnings: discussion of slight injury but not much else!
A/N: hey everyone! i’m so excited to get this series rolling again. i’ve got some new ideas and i had SO much fun writing this chapter it really felt right. enjoy!
the drive to the airport is strangely sad. the landscape seems to stretch on, punctuated by miniature towns that we pass through– places selling huckleberry pies and jams, gas stations with pickup trucks, hills. a highway cutting between two steep mountainsides.
it’s evening and the sun is starting to sink, casting shadows at odd angles. the light swells behind the tops, slopes down the snow-covered sides into crepuscular oranges. places like this are so isolated, it scares me. it makes life feel like holding one end of a tin can telephone, the string connecting it to another tin can in DC. the vibrations of what i want traveling across the line.
Emily nudges my shoulder as I stare out the window. we’re sitting in the back of a police SUV, a local officer driving at the front. I can see Reid in the passenger seat. his fingers are fidgeting again and his head is turned toward the window, so I can’t see his facial features. I wonder what he’s thinking about.
“is huckleberry any good?” Prentiss asks out of nowhere.
“it’s decent. really popular.” I shrug. I haven’t had it since I was a teenager, but I bet I’d like it more now if someone offered me a slice of pie.
“I still can’t believe you grew up here.” she seems awestruck.
“oh, it’s not so bad.”
the time passes faster than I expected, and soon we’re getting ready to board the jet. Spencer smiles at me in front of the steps and I follow behind him.
“sleep well?” he asks under his breath. the tone of it almost makes my face heat up.
we’ve spent the last few evenings hanging out, finding places to go talk around town. last night, it was a small bar that we just happened to find near the motel. although he seemed woefully uncomfortable at first in the place, he loosened up after a drink or two. we definitely didn’t get drunk, even though a small part of me still aches to see that side of him.
but I enjoyed the ease of our conversation, and how his words seemed to carry a cheerful edge that I hadn’t heard before. things between us have been going well. it’s comforting to have someone like him around, someone I can confide in and laugh with, even if we’re incredibly different.
every time he starts to talk about the things that fascinate him– whether it be geography or Medieval literature or the physics of darts– I could listen to him forever.
“it’s just math and a little coordination.” he’d explained over a glass of water last night.
“the latter of which you’re missing.” I’d pointed at the board, where his red-feathered darts were hopelessly off-center. a couple hadn’t even stuck.
“I’m out of practice.”
“did you play darts a lot in college?” the smile on my face was teasing.
“very funny.” he’d smiled at me, those hazel eyes catching the neon light above the bar. even though it wasn’t a great dig, something in me just wanted to grin. whatever I’d associated with Montana before– that slightly nauseous feeling in my gut– was melting away.
“I used to be a champ.” I bragged, taking another sip of my drink.
“really? I’m not seeing it.” he pointed at the dart board, where I’d thrown some poor (but also some pretty good) shots.
“I’m out of practice.” I winked, watched the blush spread across his cheeks.
that’s another thing about Spencer: he’s easy to mess with. he gets red at the slightest suggestive behavior, even though I can tell it excites him. the air between us this week has been charged with playfulness.
but now, as I sit down next to him in the plush seats of the jet, I think that person is very far away. he seems worried and tired all at once.
“how are you doing?” I ask once we’ve been in the air for a few minutes. I’ve been turning the question over in my head for a few minutes.
“I’m fine. why?” he licks his lips.
“you just seem tense.”
“stressed, I guess.”
“about?”
he looks from the plane window to my face. I notice the shadows under his eyes, the ones that are always there. “work.”
my brow furrows. we’re always stressed about work, that’s normal; it just feels like more than that this time. “do you want me to give you a shoulder massage?”
Morgan peeks up from his book in the opposite aisle. he raises an eyebrow and smiles.
“oh, relax.” I roll my eyes at him. Spencer is silent for a second.
“sure.” he replies finally. I nod and get out of my seat to stand behind the chair.
“let me know if I’m being too rough.” I say softly, though the words once again are twisted by Morgan’s expression, which is incriminatingly devilish. my face gets hot and I look at him.
“really?”
“I didn’t say anything.” he shrugs defensively.
“Morgan, shut up.” Reid snaps.
it surprises all of us. the agent in question looks at him with his mouth slightly agape. even Hotch glances over from his spot on the couch.
it’s effective. Morgan concedes with a knowing smile and returns to his reading. I set my hands on Reid’s bony shoulders. I work whatever muscles are there as promised and though I try to be gentle, he lets go of a breath when I push my thumbs into a spot between his shoulder blades.
“thanks.” he murmurs. I nod.
“no problem.”
we fall into a steady silence. his skin is warm, hot even, beneath my fingertips, but I feel him relaxing. as much as I’d like to ask more about the source of his stress, I hold my tongue and hope that he feels a bit better.
my hands move closer to the center, near his neck. he has an especially tough knot there and I dig in.
“sorry if that hurts.”
“no, it’s okay.”
“it’ll be worth it when I’m done. have you been sleeping properly?”
there’s a lengthy pause. “not really.”
“what time do you usually go to bed, Reid?” the words sound softer than I intended. tender, even.
“three.”
“in the morning?” I ask sharply. that would mean he’s averaging four hours every night.
“I have nightmares.” it’s a grudging admission, as though nobody else can hear us. Morgan is fiercely focused on his book to the point that I know he’s eavesdropping. Emily doesn’t seem to care at all.
“about?”
“cases going wrong. ax-murderers.” he starts to list different horrifying scenarios, each of which would wake me up in a cold sweat. no wonder he’s not sleeping.
“is this recent or has this been happening a while?” I sound like a therapist.
“maybe the past few months. it’s sort of recent.”
instead of replying with some useless filler word, the words sink into my mind. I don’t know what’s been happening in the last few months that would trigger such consistent nightmares. maybe the Fisher King? that case took us all down to the bone.
the tip of my index finger brushes over Spencer’s clavicle by accident and he shivers. the sensation of it nearly startles me. “sorry.” I mutter. almost by instinct, I take my hands off him. this suddenly feels awkward.
luckily for me, Hotch clears his throat and turns to say that Penelope needs to call us all.
a current of guilt runs through me for dreading it. there’s always going to be another case, of course. sometimes I just get too caught up in the moments between them.
…
I don’t leave the office the following night until 11. Morgan and I were the only ones left in the bullpen, both of us trying to finish up some paperwork. my eyes feel strained and tired, and half of me is ready to drop into bed. the other half, however, is adamantly opposed to sleep.
I know that if I get under the covers, I’ll just start thinking and I won’t be able to doze off. the notion of stewing in my own imagination fills me with anxiety, so I get home and change into running clothes.
as I lace up my shoes, I notice how messy my apartment is again. there are magazines strewn across the coffee table and a few mugs in the sink. I should really clean before I get called away to work again.
after making a mental note, I take off out the door and make a break for it. I never run at night, but my neighborhood feels safe and something within me is desperate to move. it’s been a minute since I’ve been able to just sprint, to feel that burn in my lungs and the automatic drive in my legs.
plus, I love the way the DC air feels at night. sucking it in is oddly comforting.
I’m moving undisturbed up the street, blinking as the streetlights hit my skin and wondering how far I could get before I’d have to stop. sometimes I think about pushing into the center of the city, into the park. I wish it would start to rain; that would be nice. like putting out a fire.
I wonder what Spencer is doing, which is now not an unusual part of my night. I like to think about him. it makes my chest warm, even when the thoughts are totally mundane.
the flight yesterday has been crammed into my brain. how his muscles eased under my touch, until I ruined it by accident. how the slightest contact made him shiver. something about him is incredibly naive, despite his role in the BAU and the things he’s seen. I can’t explain what it is that he reminds me of. it creates an unidentifiable sentiment in my stomach.
I cross a street, my feet pounding the pavement, and my heart beats in my ears.
how would it feel to touch his shoulders without the pretense of a massage? would he get nervous, then, too? if I touched the point between his throat and his jaw, that sharpness where the shadow falls, would I feel his pulse beating heavily?
why is he having nightmares?
that question has been nagging at me, too. even if I don’t necessarily subscribe to dream analysis, the patterns of his have been bothering me. I’ve heard of things as simple as diet changes causing bad dreams. then again, we have an intense job. the chances that it wouldn’t at least in part be related to that are slim.
there’s a silent film that i used to watch constantly as a kid, a comedy called Safety Last! with Harold Lloyd. it’s lighthearted and silly, until there’s one scene where he’s trying to scale a building in New York City. his feet dig into small divots and his fingers cling to the corners, but he ends up almost falling.
as a last resort, Harold grabs onto the hands of an enormous clock on the side. for a moment, it seems like he’ll be fine– and then the clock face starts to peel away from the building. it hangs at an angle above the street far below, the movie star’s legs dangling.
i remember watching and getting nervous every time, even though i knew he’d find a way out of the situation. my fists would still grab at the blanket and i’d watch his white-knuckled grasp start to slip. waiting for Harold to fall is like being friends with Spencer– it’s being perched at the edge of your seat. except where i was worried Harold would die, all i want is for Reid to open up a bit.
he handles my stories with care and i want to do the same for him. if he would just let me hold them in my palms for a moment.
i can’t really make him do that, however. it has to come on its own.
my foot catches on a cobblestone and i feel myself flying before i can stop the crash. my hands slam against wet ground and it’s only then that i realize it is raining. my skin is raw. raindrops fall on my face and slide down the slope of my nose.
i’m beneath a street lamp. i look up to see the downpour heading straight for me like slim knives. they hit my skin before giving way to a soothing rush the way they would slide into the current of a river. i love the rain. i love that it washes the grit from my scratches.
i can’t stop myself from running more, taking the turns and running past people holding umbrellas, tucked beneath their jackets. the rhythm propels me forward until i know deep in my bones where i’m going, so deep it’s inevitable.
my fingers shake from the rain-induced chill traveling through my body when i get to the green door. some of the paint is chipping by the old-fashioned brass knocker. it brings a small smile to my face, another result of the dopamine joy coursing through my veins.
the lock turns. Spencer stands in the doorway.
“hi.” he says, mildly confused but not unhappy.
“hi.” i grin. he’s looking over my disheveled appearance.
“everything okay?”
“i’m great.” the words feel right, falling from my tongue like a glass marble.
“come in,” he invites me in, then puts up a hand to stop me once i’m past the threshold. “actually, wait here.”
i nod patiently as he disappears momentarily and returns with a small towel.
“do you wanna dry off a bit?” he’s curious about my state. i take the fabric graciously and start to squeeze my wet hair into it. Spencer watches with a furrowed brow. “what happened to you?”
“just went for a run.” i shrug.
“from your place?” he’s surprised.
“yeah.” i nod and bend down to take off my shoes, which at this point are pretty much soaked through to an uncomfortable state.
“wow.” he shakes his head before leading me into the rest of the apartment. it smells as it always does, familiar, and i admire the art for what feels like the thirtieth time. even though there’s no fireplace here, it feels like there should be a crackling yule log in the middle of the room.
“how’s your night going?” i ask as i catch my breath.
“good,” he takes the towel from me to put with the laundry. “better now.”
although i want to tease him for the cheesiness of the line, i find myself turning away to hide the smile i’m biting back. “what are you up to, then?”
“playing chess.” he points to a board in the middle of the coffee table on his couch. it’s obscured by a stack of ancient-looking books. i nod and approach the game, unreasonably intimidated by it.
“cool.”
“i would ask if you play, but i know you ‘don’t like games like that’.” he teases me from his work desk. standing in front of the antique gold lamp he’s just turned on, Reid looks phantasmic. i choose to focus on the attempted insult.
“just because i don’t like them doesn’t mean i wouldn’t be good at them.” i raise an eyebrow.
“who said anything about you not being good at them?” he crosses his arms over his chest. “i think you’d be plenty good if you put yourself out there.”
i bite my lip and try to think up some defense for this. really, though, i don’t have one. there’s nothing more to it than my dislike for being beaten. especially when Spencer is already great at everything else.
Spencer takes my silence as concession. “one game.”
“what?” i frown.
“one game of chess.”
“i don’t know how to play.”
“i’ll teach you.” there’s a glint in his eye that reminds me of when he does his magic tricks; the kind of confidence he gets when he senses his home turf. this is his wheelhouse, and i’m utterly clueless.
“i’m a slow learner.”
“i don’t believe that for a second, Clea.” the corners of his mouth turn up because he knows he has me cornered. my gaze holds his for a moment, though we already both know i’ve lost this one.
“fine.”
he makes a sort of celebratory gesture before brushing past me and sitting down on the rug next to the coffee table. he points to the spot opposite him and i drop down. gingerly, he moves the chess board to set it between us. his finger rests atop one of the pieces. “i’m going to finish my round quickly first.”
“go ahead.” i’m in no rush.
i can hear cars driving through the rain outside, wheels splashing through puddles and drops pattering on the windowpane as Spencer finds his focus. something tells me it’s like a ritual for him, the steady but sure way he adjusts the pawns and turns the board to play the other side.
it’s funny to watch somebody do this, strategizing against themselves. he’s got a laser-like attentiveness. hazel eyes move rapidly between theoretical movements. when his eyebrow quirks upward, i can tell he’s got a winning idea.
frankly, i’m not sure how long this lasts. he’s like one of those films they show in museums. projected on a white wall, the repetition of a purposeful scene. he rubs the pad of his thumb along his palm, then tucks his fist thoughtfully under his chin. his nose twitches and he toys with the strap of his wristwatch.
every time he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, i feel my breath catch slightly in my throat. there’s no way to describe the warmth in my stomach when he finally mutters, “checkmate,” to himself and looks up at me with pride.
“how?” i clear my throat and avert my attention to the board.
“i’ll explain it more in depth in a bit, but you see this king?” he sets an index finger on top of the wooden pawn.
“yeah.”
“he can’t move to any other squares and none of these other pieces can protect him. so i win.”
“okay.” i pretend to understand for a moment. Spencer lets out a good-natured laugh.
“it’ll make sense once you know the rules, don’t worry.”
i laugh and nod. “teach me, then!”
“looks like someone’s had a change of heart about learning.” he smirks. the cockiness of it makes my heart stutter for a moment before i roll my eyes.
“nope,” i pop the p. “i just wanna get the hard part over with.”
“mhmm.” he sees through it, quickly reorganizes the pieces on the board and sets his hands on his knees before we get started. “ready?”
“i guess.”
…
whatever time it is when we finish our third game of chess, it’s far too late to walk home alone. Spencer has beaten me each time, of course– sometimes embarrassingly quickly– but he doesn’t tease me for it.
instead, he glances out the window at the steady rainfall and at me. “you shouldn’t go back out there.”
i sigh. he’s right, but i don’t want to burden him with my presence for too long. i don’t think Spencer is the kind of person to keep guests often. “i know.”
“just spend the night here. you can use the shower and take the couch.” he offers like it’s nothing. the surprise on my face is almost impossible to hide at his words.
“are you sure?”
“i mean, we have to be up for work in a few hours anyway,” he glances at one of the wax candles in the corner of the room. it’s burning down to the bottom of the wick. “you might as well get some rest.”
“what time is it?”
“two thirty.”
“oh my god.” i almost laugh at the absurdity of it. when i got home from work earlier, i had only planned on a short run before turning in. it’s strange how i ended up here.
“i’ll show you how the shower works.” he gets up slowly from the carpet and gestures for me to follow him. i do so quietly, passing the decorated hall for the first time. the wallpaper is something out of a horror tale, in the best way.
Reid explains the funny way the shower temperature works, then goes to get me a change of clothes. after he brings back a stack of heavenly-soft cotton pajamas and leaves me to shower, i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror for the first time tonight.
and god, is it a mistake.
i forgot that i was wearing mascara, which has run down my cheeks from sprinting through a storm. my hair, once i shake it out, is still damp. the clothes i’m already wearing have dried off, but i still look like a complete wreck. it’s a shock that Spencer didn’t immediately turn me away at the door.
the embarrassment hits as i shed my clothes and hop into the scalding water. his initial confusion when i arrived is only justified by the fact that i look like slightly rabid.
but these thoughts seem to melt away as i let the water run over my skin, washing away the remnants of my evening with a final flourish. i’ve completely forgotten about my scraped hands until now, which sting. i ignore the pain and get clean.
as soon as i’ve slipped into Spencer’s clothes (which are astonishingly comfy), i wander into the living room. i can hear him moving about in the kitchen. it’s silly to imagine so much activity happening so late in this unassuming little home he’s got.
i notice a folded blanket and fluffy-looking pillow on the overstuffed couch and smile to myself. now that i’ve had some time to relax, nothing sounds more inviting than crashing onto the cushions and passing out.
Spencer interrupts my thoughts as he wanders into the living room with a mug. steam curls delicately off the surface.
“i made you some chamomile tea,” he sets it on the coffee table, straightens up and looks at me hovering by the couch in his old t-shirt. “i didn’t know you went to CalTech.” he jokes.
“yeah, top of my class, actually,” i shrug and give him a pointed look. “some annoying sixteen-year-old took my shot at valedictorian, though.”
he laughs a genuinely musical laugh and shoves his hands into his pockets. “i was never valedictorian.”
“really?”
“yeah. i was at a conference in Boston for molecular biology, so i didn’t even attend my graduation. they mailed me my degree.”
“your humility astounds me, Dr. Reid.” i shake my head sarcastically.
he sighs and rests in the comfortable silence. we look at each other until he speaks up. “are you gonna drink your tea?”
this brings me back to earth. i reach for the mug, but recoil when the heat causes the raw skin on my palm to smart. without thinking, i wince and withdraw my hand.
“what’s wrong?” he frowns at the movement before his attention falls to my hand. “did you get hurt?”
“i just tripped while i was running,” i shrug. “i’ll be fine by the morning.”
Spencer takes my wrist before i have time to react to the movement and turns it over. i’m not bleeding or anything, but he seems slightly concerned. “why didn’t you say anything?”
“honestly, i forgot about it,” i nearly wave him off. “it’s literally fine, Spence.”
his eyes move up to mine for a second, then sink back to my mild injury with the same shyness that i’ve come to expect from him. i don’t know what warranted the glance.
“don’t move.” his fingers tighten around my arm, then release as he heads into the kitchen again. i’m left wondering about the weight of the past few moments, what just happened. he doesn’t give me much time to ruminate on it, though, returning with a clean wash cloth and what looks like an ointment.
“really, Reid?” i sigh as he unscrews the cap and dips into the salve.
“it’s going to be extremely painful if it gets infected.”
i want to correct him that it definitely won’t get infected, that it’s fine and he’s overreacting and i really just want to go to bed, but then he presses his fingertips over my skin and holds my wrist again. i hold my tongue.
i’m aware of every careful movement he makes, the same concentration on his face that he had while playing himself in chess. i pray that he can’t feel my pulse hammering against his thumb. i couldn’t possibly speak. the words die in my throat at the same moment as the candle from earlier hits the bottom of the wick.
Spencer finishes and drops my hand. the small flame extinguishes into a single column of smoke.
Summary: Reader notices new strange behavior of Spencer, who usually keeps their interactions very brief. She later finds he’s struggling to resist bringing her into his world of pain and pleasure.
-
“Merry Christmas doll!” Rossi smiles opening his front door. “Merry Christmas Rossi!” You giggle receiving his warm hug. You were nervous, this was your first annual team Christmas party. Following Rossi into the large living room, smiling and waving at everyone.
Emily walks up to you holding two drinks. “About time Y/N! Here you’ve got some catching up to do” She smiles handling you the glass. “No problem.” You laugh and quickly down the drink.
After making small talk for a while, you then went to make another drink. Entering the kitchen to see Spencer doing the same. “Hi, Spencer.” You greet softly, trying to not be awkward and he glances up at you. “Hi.” Is all he answers quietly after clearing his throat, you noticed he did that a lot when he spoke to you, which didn’t happen often. He quickly looks back down to his glass and then stepped away from the counter letting you get to the drinks.
Spencer was nice, but you always felt like he kept you at a distance since you joined the team. He wasn’t rude, but not friendly like he was with everyone else. You had only been on the team 5 months, so you figured he just took a while to warm up to new people.
You begin fixing your drink, and you could feel eyes on the backside of your body. You hear a deep strangled breath from behind you, it almost sounded like a growl. You froze, not sure what to do. Was that Spencer?
“Time for secret Santa!” You hear announced from the living room by Penelope. Turning around hesitantly on your heels to look, but there was no one else in the kitchen now. You walk to the next room, seeing Spencer now sitting on a couch with the group. Maybe that wasn’t him, strange.
“Looking good tonight Mama.” Derek exclaims glancing up and down at your fitted black skirt. You had dressed a little sexy tonight for the party. You roll your eyes back at him, knowing he was always like this. You didn’t think anyone else notices, but as soon as Derek said that Spencer’s eyes shot straight to him. His expression wasn’t pleasant, to say the least, his eyes were hooded, jaw clenched. You had never seen Spencer like that before, especially to his best friend. He may not feel well.
You quickly sit and try to shake off the situation. Hotch begins pulling the presents from under the tree and announced each person’s name.
“Y/N” he smiles and passes the medium-sized wrapped box. “Thank you” you smile back and then begin to unwrap the box. There was a beautiful red silk scarf sitting in the white box with a note. Time to find out who your secret Santa is, it had to one of the girls with such great taste.
I hope you can put this to good use . -Reid
You glance over to Spencer, he was already watching for your reaction. “Thank you, it’s very nice.” You offer a small smile but he only nods back. “You’re welcome, Y/N.” He said your name so smoothly, it gave you a shiver. Maybe you had enough alcohol you think to yourself.
The next day at the office walking in juggling your bag, coffee, and files. Saying your morning hellos, you walk near Spencer’s desk. “Good morning.” You announce admiring the man in front of you. He slowly looks up and his eyes linger around your neck. You decided to wear the scarf he gave you last night. He swallows hard and then came up to look into your eyes. “Good morning, Y/N.” there is was again. The second time he said your name, it made your insides contract. Trying to keep your composure you quickly make it to your desk, letting out the sigh you were holding.
What the hell was happening? You just need to get through this day and get home so you can think. Around two o'clock, you could feel your energy depleting so you went to get coffee. Walking into the break room, your breath catching as you saw him. He looks up hearing someone enter.
His demeanor shifts seeing you, you awkwardly get your coffee as quickly as possible. “Shit” you mumble realizing you forgot the sugar, and coffee was disgusting without sugar.
You start walking back down the hallway toward the break room, and suddenly feel a hard grip on your arm. You were pulled into a closet, that had absolutely no light. Your heart feels as it was about to come through your chest. As your eyes adjusted to the dark, you make out the figure in front of you. It was him.
“What are you doing Spencer?” You whisper still trying to calm your heart. He places a hand on each side of your face against the wall behind you. “Is something wrong Y/N?” He sounds completely different, husky almost. Hearing it made your knees weak. He steps closer, you could feel his breath on your neck.
“I like you in this scarf.” He huffs and you felt him twirl the edge of it with his long fingers. “Wwwhy did you pull me in here?” You stutter confused, this wasn’t like him. “Did you not want me to?” He replies, pausing from your response. “You’re just kind of scaring me, Spencer.” You whisper back and he instantly put space between you and him.
“I’m so sorry y/n”. He apologizes and then ran out of the room. What the actual hell was that? You stay in the dark room for a few minutes trying to process what just happened. What came over him? He usually avoids being close to you. He can’t just walk away like that.
You cross your arms over your chest, and quickly walk to his desk to demand answers. Once at his desk you find that he and his bag were gone.
You finally get home, and just want to relax. After taking a shower you slipped into an underwear set and then hear a knock at the door. You rush to wrap yourself in a robe and to answer the door. “Who is it?” You question holding the handle. “Me” you hear a hesitant male voice say. Your stomach twirled.
You slowly open the door, seeing him standing there awkwardly. His head was low, looking much more casual than usual. No vest just a black button-down shirt and a loose tie.
“Hey, Spencer.” you say softly, still very confused about earlier. “Hey. Look I’m sorry about earlier okay. I just lost control and I shouldn’t have pulled you. I hope you don’t hate me.” He rambles out, with a deep breath looking away. “I don’t hate you, Spencer.” You offer a small smile to try to make him feel better. “I was just really confused, I still am actually.” You continue.
“I’m sure you were, I’m sorry. I would never usually do that. You just get to me Y/N, okay? I’m having trouble controlling myself around you. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” He finally admits why he acts so strange around you. He turns to leave the doorway, surely not wanting the have this conversation longer than necessary. What he didn’t know was that you had always been slightly interested in him, but he would never give you a chance to get close to him.
“Is that why you never look at me?” You ask with a glimmer of laughter in your voice, causing him to halt his escape. He slowly looks up to your eyes, staring, but not saying anything. Now that he was finally looking at you for more than three seconds you noticed how gorgeous his eyes are.
“What do you have trouble controlling wanting to do to me?” You question softly watching his body tense at your words, you wanted to push your luck. “If I tell you, you’ll hate me.” He whispers sounding strained. “Why?” You ask again still obviously flirting, it couldn’t be that bad. He huffs slightly. “I can’t tell you out here.” He replies lifting an eyebrow. As if asking are you going to let me in. Were you going to allow the opportunity for something to happen? Both of you knowing where it would lead.
You slide over in the doorway allowing him to enter, the smell of him coated you as he passes. You shut the door and turned to see him looking around kind of awkwardly. “I’m sorry, do you want a drink or something?” You offer and he nods yes.
You leave to get the drinks, trying to figure out what was about to happen next. “Thanks” he mumbles taking the beer after you return, chugging it. You both sit on the couch silently, you could cut the space between you two with a knife. Okay then. “Are you going to tell me?” You finally break the silence, looking down at your fingers, playing with the glass bottle. You heard a loud sigh.
“I’m fucked up y/n.” He blankly states causing your eyes to shoot up to him. “We all have our days.” You shrug, not breaking the hold he had on your eyes. “No, you don’t understand. You’re amazing and so sweet. The things I want to do to you.” He looks so serious. “Then why don’t you help me understand?” You whisper a smirk playing on the edge of your lips.
“Stop. Don’t do that.” He blurts, abruptly getting off the couch making you jump. “Don’t do what?” You yell back following him as he walked toward the door.
Suddenly he spins around slamming your back against the wall, holding you by the shoulders. “You don’t yell at me, do you understand?” He hisses. His usual caramel eyes were a burning dark brown, his demeanor was like a different person. His jaw clenched, chest heaving. You stood there shocked, trying to control your own breathing.
“Okay.” You whisper. He shook his head with a frustrated groan like it wasn’t the answer he wanted, but you were confused. “You’re sweet too Spencer, one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. So what the hell are you talking about?” You groan, getting frustrated with his game. You heard him chuckle at your words shaking his head slightly. You stared at him, waiting until he finally gave in.
“Fine, I’ll tell you. I want to control you, hurt you, make you scream, beg for me, completely dominate you.” He outright growls staring into your eyes.
You were shocked. Hurt you? What the hell. He could see your confusion and softened his grip on your shoulder. “Not so sweet now, huh?” He mumbled removing his hands from your shoulder. Now you understood. Why he didn’t want to tell you, why he said you would hate him. The look in his eyes now almost resembled regret, like he had messed up his shot with you.
Although, you just wanted to understand him more than anything, and you were a pretty open-minded person. “Why would you do that?” You mumble looking down between your bodies. “To give you the most pleasure you’ve ever received.” He confidently replies. Wow.
“Hurt me?” “Yes, for both of our pleasure. I know it’s a lot and confusing. I promise it will never be more than you can handle.” He explains like he was trying to sell you something. Your mind trying to take it all in, were you actually considering this?
“How would you know what is too much for me? We’ve never slept together” You ask after a moment of contemplating. You could see a slight glimmer of hope shoot through him, like when he realized he’d solved a case.
“I have a word that would instantly stop me, commonly known as a safe word. I would never hurt you in any way you didn’t want, and I would always take care of you.” He spoke gently, giving you a very vague explanation. This was normal to him. You could feel the heat coming off of his body.
“What is the word?” You ask out of curiosity. “Walter, it’s my middle name and I hate it. You don’t have to do this though Y/N. I don’t know if you would want a relationship with me, but I promise it would be the best of your life.” He panted, staring down at your lips, biting on his own as he towered over you.
Spencer was not normally such a confident person, so his confidence in his sexual abilities intrigued you. “What happens if I say yes?” You answer with a nervous knot in your stomach, finding yourself staring at the lip he was biting.
“Do not tease me. It is taking every ounce of my control not to bend you over right now, and show you how to behave.” He challenges back, voice becoming more raspier, positioning himself closer to you.
“Then do it.” You reply back without skipping a beat, not sure where the new confidence came from. He looked surprised. “Are you sure? Do you know what you’re asking for babygirl? There is no going back once you take me there.” He huffs, the nickname making your shutter. You can see how hard he was having to restrain himself.
“Dominate me, Spencer.” You whisper, and without another second passing his hand roughly wrapped around your throat, he leaned his lips down to yours. You were taken back by his hand choking you, but his firm yet passionate kiss led you through it. Your fingers tangle through his soft messy hair, him groaning as you tug.
He separates your kiss, lowering slightly and lifting you from the bottom of your thighs. You wrap your legs around his waist, remembering you were only in underwear under the robe when you felt his warm body against your core. He attacked your neck with kisses and bites, definitely marking you. “Mmm Spencer” You moan out, and seconds later feel a hard slap on your right ass cheek. You wince at the pain, he did say he would hurt you, it wasn’t overbearing though. “You will call me Daddy or Sir, do you understand?” He requests with a stern tone in your ear, you nodded eagerly. “Answer when I ask you a fucking question.” He growls again with another slap to your ass. It was hard enough to make you yelp but soft enough to not make you cry. He was good.
“Yes, daddy.” You panted. “Good girl.” He chuckles, running his hand over the cheek he just hit, soothing the sting. “Are you okay?” He asks searching your eyes, not like he was just talking but genuinely, giving you one last chance to run. “Yes, I’m okay I promise.” “Just follow my instructions exactly and you’ll be rewarded, okay?” You nod, honestly, you were more than okay. You always wanted to experience something like this, that pushed you to the edge.
He nods back at you, and reattached his lips to your neck, his fingers gripping into your ass through the thin underwear. “Where’s.. bedroom?” He asks through muffled kisses. “First left.. in hallway. ” You manage to mutter, he began walking still holding you in his strong arms.
Once he made it to the bedroom he lowers you to your feet. “Trust me okay?” He whispers, you nod. He slid his fingers to the insides of your rode pushing it off your shoulders to the floor. “You’re so beautiful y/n” he compliments looking over your body just in underwear. You blush slightly, thinking that someone as gorgeous as him would think so.
“I bet you look gorgeous with that pretty little mouth wrapped around my cock.” He huffs in your ear, your eyes grew huge hearing him speak like that. Running his tongue over your earlobe, you moan at his words making him chuckle. “Get on your knees now.” He commands, you falling into a kneeling position instantly. He smiled down at you approving. You have never moved on command for anyone, what is he doing to you?
You watch as he rolls up each of his sleeves slowly then pulling loose his tie roughly, anticipation killing you. He slowly moves to his belt buckle, removing it and his pants, kicking them off. He looks down at you again, smiling seeing you were biting your lip. “You want daddy’s cock in your mouth don’t you?” He asks, catching you off guard. You had never talked so dirty before, but it was definitely turning you on.
You also wanted to impress him, you had a slight idea of how this kind of relationship worked from movies. “Yes sir, I want to suck your dick” You reply, playing his game, which judging by his eyes he loved. “Such a good girl.” He grunts and pulled his dick from the restrain of the boxers. You gulp at the size.
He steps closer to you, your mouth opening almost as a reflex for him. You took your hand and stroked over his length before taking him to your lips. He hisses as your warm mouth took him in, bobbing your head quickly.
“Fuck. You have no idea how much I have dreamed of that mouth around my cock. How many times you made me touch myself after seeing you at work. You wanted this didn’t you baby.” He groans, you couldn’t believe what he was saying. He masturbates thinking of you?
“Yes, I wanted it.” You reply between strokes. You swirl your tongue, wanting to please him as much as possible. “Now I’m going to fuck your mouth for making me wait so long.” He growls, you felt his hand wrap to the back of your head into your hair. He holds your head in place while he pumped himself into your mouth faster. You began to gag, but closed your eyes and make yourself relax.
You look up at his face as he went faster, tears starting to run down your face. You loved it. His hisses and moans were the sexiest sounds you’ve ever heard. “Oh fuck y/n” he yells out as his hips started to jolt out of his control. He met your eyes, his expression had softened, you loved seeing him in such a euphoric and vulnerable state. His eyes continue to roll back in his head, the sight completely soaked the panties between your legs.
“Swallow for me y/n” he groans but before you could answer you felt his warm liquid squirting down your throat. He cussed out slowly riding through his orgasm, you licking every drop from the tip of his dick.
His eyes reopened looking at you very pleased. “Stand up baby girl.” You slowly lift wiping the tears and liquids from your face. He kisses you sweetly holding the sides of your face, you take the opportunity to unbutton the rest of his shirt feeling down his toned body.
“I think that deserves a reward baby.” He whispers, your body stood on end with excitement. “Please.” You breathe out before you knew it. Shit, he had you wrapped around his finger, and he knew it. “Mmm knew you’d enjoy this.” He chuckles and then pushing you to the bed.
Your legs land slightly parted, giving him a clear view of your most intimate part. “Why are your panties so wet y/n?” He asks licking over his bottom lip. “Because you make me this wet.” You answer honestly. “Such a good fucking girl” he devilishly smirks. Next, you hear the cloth of your underwear rip making you gasp. “Sorry, they were in my way.” He shrugs while lowing himself closer to your glistening pussy.
His comment made you laugh, which turned into a loud moan as his tongue attacked your clit with precise movements. “Oh shit.” You cry out, you never had a man please you with his mouth this well. He groans in response to your cries. You tangle your hands in his hair again, rocking your hips against his face. You look down and watch his tongue engulf you, his eyes stay focused on you.
“Ugh feels so amazing” you sigh letting the feeling overtake you as his fingers dug into your thighs spreading you more for him. You couldn’t believe Spencer Reid was in between your legs right now.
“You taste so good baby girl” he moans between your legs. You felt the tingling sensation start to cover your body, and the familiar warming in the base of your stomach. “Oh fuck.” You scream as he pushes you over your edge, making your whole body shake in the best way possible.
You finally come down from the high with a smile on your face and look down at Spencer. His lips were still wet with your liquids, but the pissed expression on his face scared you.
He crawls up the bed until he is right above you staring down at your face. “Did you enjoy that?” He coos but not in an amusing matter. “Yes, it was amazing.” You whisper reaching for his face, but he roughly grabs your hand and pins it to the bed.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it because you’re about to pay for it” he spat and then pulled you off the bed with him. He rests on the edge of the bed, yanking you face down across his lap. “You’re a greedy little girl y/n” he informs with an unsettling calmness. You couldn’t even respond not knowing what he was talking about. He began rubbing a hand over your bare ass, you had an eerie gut feeling of what was coming next.
“So now…I have to give you a punishment. Okay?” He continues, the ending sounds more like a question. He was asking if you were okay with him punishing you. Did you want him to seriously hit you? There was only one way to find out.
“Yes” is all you say, and brace yourself for what was next. “You do not cum unless I tell you to.” He hisses and you felt the same smack across your ass, but this time harder, more intense now that he had permission. Then again and again. After the sixth slap, you could feel tears forming in your eyes, but moans also tried escaping your lips.
“Are you going to cum again without permission?” He asks with a glimmer of amusement in his voice, delivering the seventh slap. “No,I won’t.” You said with a shaky voice. Eight. “I know you won’t babygirl, but your ass is so pretty. Nice and pink with my handprint.” He huffs, giving a ninth spank, you are so close to having use the safe word. “Please, sir.” You plea for his mercy as his hand came down again. “I think you’ve learned your lesson.” He finally stopped and massaged over the ass cheek he was just abusing, making it feel better. It still stung, but you almost liked the feeling. You were proud of your self for taking ten hits.
“You did so good baby.” He praises while shifting you up and into his lap, laying your head on his chest. He brushed his fingers through your hair softly, letting your breathing even out. You look up, finding him staring down at you with such adoring eyes. In that moment, you had never before felt so loved and safe. The way he commands you, but he still sweetly made sure you were okay with everything he did.
The feeling he gave you made your head spin, it was like nothing else. Was this the kind of relationship you craved? All you knew was that you’re now entrapped in Spencer Reid, and you didn’t ever want to let go.
After a few minutes, he laid you back onto the bed. He then got up and walked out of your bedroom door. He isn’t leaving, is he? For some reason, you couldn’t imagine not being with him right now. He can’t leave after that. You start to panic until you saw him coming back through the door.
He was holding up in his hand the red scarf that he had bought you, he must have seen it before on your coat rack. You giggle seeing him. “I am going to restrain you, okay, if you try to get loose I will punish you. Understand?” He asks waiting for your response. You nod eagerly “I understand.” He begins tying both of your hands above your head to the headboard, you wondering what he has in store for you. “And yes, this is exactly what I meant by good use.” He answers what you were wondering with a smirk on his face. Gosh, this boy.
After he was happy with the restraints, he walks to the side of the bed laying beside you. Running his fingers over your stomach, making you squirm. He quickly removes your bra, greedily looking over your breast. “You know since you just took your orgasm last time without asking, you do not get to cum this time while I finger your pussy. Understood?” He informs causing you to groan not knowing how you would be able to do it. You wouldn’t want another punishment, right?
“Yes, daddy.” You answer softly, and he smirks knowing it would be torture. Lowering his fingers slowly between your legs, to what belongs to him now and he knew it. Your body jolts as his finger sunk in, your wet entrance accepted it eagerly.
“Fuck your so wet for me baby.” He groans adding another finger. “I only get wet for you daddy.” You moan, maybe you could persuade him to let you finish. “That’s right babygirl. ONLY MINE.” He growls and pumped his fingers faster making your back arched off the bed, while your head flung back into the pillow. “Oh shit daddy.” You whimper every time the palm of his hand would bump your clit.
You then felt warm wetness around your nipple, looking down to see Spencer’s perfect lips around one of your breasts as he still worked you with his long fingers. He tugged at your nipple and curled his fingers at just the right spot making your body shake with the need for release.
“Please please I want to cum daddy” you cry out scratching into your bedsheets. You pull at the scarf, wanting so bad to orgasm. “Why should I let you?” He taunts speeding up his fingers as fast as he could. “Because I will be a good girl, please.” You whine, not knowing how much longer you would last. You felt his fingers retract, and you heard a whimper of disappointment escape your mouth.
“Don’t look so sad baby.” He laughs at you and pulled the hand restraints loose and then continued “I promise you’re about to cum harder than you ever have.” He smirks and then he positioned himself between your legs, you bit your tongue trying to contain your excitement.
One hard thrust filled you completely, making you take all of him. You yell out at the pain and pleasure all at once. He pauses for a second letting your muscles become molded to him. “Shit your so tight y/n” he growls with hooded eyes watching you take him. He then lifted one of your legs over his shoulder and began pounding into you roughly, the position hitting your sweet spot over and over. You clawed into his back hard, surely drawing blood but he didn’t seem to care. You felt a hand grasp around your neck once again, and the sensation made your eyes roll back.
“You like being choked don’t you, dirty girl ” he hisses, slightly tightening the grip on your neck. “Yes I love when you choke me daddy” You groan out barely able to speak, not just trying to please him anymore, but you honestly liked it. He was right when he said it was the most pleasure you have ever received.
He moans at your words, feeling he wasn’t going to last much longer. “Rub your pretty clit for me, baby.” He commands through clenched teeth, sounding so rugged and sexy. You did as instructed, rubbing fiercely making your legs start to shake.
“Daddy I want.. I need to cum please” you beg, feeling the knot in your stomach. “You want to cum all over daddy’s cock babygirl?” He groans watching you beg was something he would never forget. “Yes please let me cum on your cock.” You plea, trying desperately to hold it.
“You want me to cum in your tight pussy y/n?” He asks as his hips began to thrust wildly. Your eyes flash open in shock, looking up to Spencer biting his lip looking at you with such passion. You had never let a man finish inside before, but you wanted all of Spencer.
“Yes, cum in your pussy sir.” You cry out, determined to pull him over with you. “Yes my fucking pussy.” He moans out loudly, fucking you as fast as he could now.
His stroke hit just the right spot as your fingers moved faster and faster, your breath hitched and you became light-headed from the amount of pleasure. “Cum for me babygirl.” You could barely hear over your cries of pleasure but as soon as you heard him your body responds. Your insides contract around his cock as he groans out your name letting his head fall back, his climax spilling over into you.
He slowly rolled through both of your orgasms, both of you panting despite for air. He gently removed himself from you, falling in the bed next to you. He guides you into his arms and softly snuggling into his chest.
“Are you okay baby?” He asks once his breathing evened out. You smile at him calling you baby even though you weren’t having sex still. “I’m okay.” You answer, still feeling your body tingling trying to process everything that just happened.
“Do you need anything? Ice, lotion, water?” He questions again making you giggle. You just shook your head no. He sat up looking at you with a serious expression. “Look, part of this is me taking care of you after. I’ll always take care of you. Please talk to me, did I scare you?” He sighs.
“No Spencer you didn’t I promise, I liked it a lot.” You assured him, he let out a breath of relief. “I didn’t hurt you too badly?” He asks rubbing the side of your face. “You hurt me just right” you giggle. “Well that’s just the beginning sweetheart” he teases kissing the back of your hand.
“I actually might need something.” You announce after thinking for a few minutes. “Anything.” He answers looking concerned. “I think I need help taking a shower.” You shyly admit. He chuckles at you. “Can someone not feel her legs.” Teasing you more. “No, you made them go numb daddy.” You tease back.
He moans lightly “Don’t get me started again, I don’t think you could handle that yet.” He warns helping you up. “Maybe I will” you wink stepping into the shower pulling him with you.
Returning to work was awkward, to say the least, having to keep your relationship a secret. Spencer making sly remarks that only you would understand just to watch you squirm. Teasing you around every hidden corner didn’t help either.
The team had just been assigned a new case and everyone was at the circle table going over the different files. “Y/n give me that file.” Spencer said from across the table, concentrating on the papers so his voice sounded stern.
“Yes daa…” You freeze catching yourself and his eyes going wide looking at you. You try to play it off. “Dr. Reid ” you stated with a couple of fake coughs, trying to make it sound like a mix of words. The redness of your face would surely give it away. You hand over the file keeping your eyes down.
“Oh hell no, we are not about to act like that didn’t just happen.” Derek pries with that smile, looking between you and Spencer. Spencer just smirks shrugging his shoulders and returned his attention to the paper in his hand. The whole team gasped at his subtle confirmation, you instantly hid in your hands. How were you going to survive being Spender Reid’s woman.
Summary: Frustrated with your sex life at home, your ex-boyfriend Spencer is willing to offer guilty, sweet relief.
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“Mrs. Y/N” A male voice announces a mispronounced version of your name behind you.“It’s Y/N” You huff, turning around to see your ass of a boss. “Yeah. I need you to work late today.” “I can’t. I have plans, and I worked late on Monday.” You argue. “And you will stay again until those files are complete. Do we have a problem?” He hisses back. This is so unfair.
“No, I’ll get it done.” You fake a smile. If you hadn’t worked so hard to get a job at the Bureau, you would give him a piece of your mind. An hour later most of the other employees slowly gathered their belongings and headed home. Including your boss.
After what seemed like years of paperwork, you heard footsteps coming closer. You glanced above your desk and there was Spencer, winking at you as he passed. You wonder what he was doing here so late and on this floor. He is your ex, you two dated when you worked on the BAU floor. He was almost the perfect boyfriend, you just couldn’t deal with the unpredictable schedule and lifestyle. He understood, and there weren’t any hard feelings between the two of you.
You watch him walk until he is out of sight, gosh he always looked so delicious. You started going through papers again, and then almost jumped out of your skin feeling a touch upon bow of your back. You looked back over your shoulder to see no other than Spencer. “Can I help you?” You ask after catching your breath. He leaned down near your neck. “Why so tense Y/N?” His husky voice sending a shock straight to your insides.
“I’m not tense, you frightened me.” You answered his double-edged question. “If you say so dear.” He whispered into your ear, you had to bite your tongue making sure not to show any reaction. He then started walking away, you made sure he was far away enough before letting out a sigh of frustration. Focus on your work so you can leave you mumbled to yourself.
Everyone else knew him as sweet Spencer, but there was another side to him. In his romantic relationships, he was very confident, apposed to his more shy work demeanor. You still had regular flashbacks of your times with him, which made you feel terrible being married now. Even worse, you still hadn’t been able to cut your physical ties to Spencer, he just knew exactly what you needed.
You tried your hardest, clenching your thighs together, determined to keep yourself together. But all you could think about was him, you caught yourself biting your lip. It was no use. You quickly stand and walk towards the elevators, heels clicking loudly. You caught the door just before closing and step in. Spencer was standing in the corner of the elevator with his devilish smirk, you look away acting as if you didn’t see him.
“Where are you headed?” He chuckles, always so cocky. Although, he knows you get to him also. You bend over and adjusted your heel strap slowly, making sure your skirt hugged your ass tightly. You then stood and glanced over to see his eyes studying you fiercely, his amazing jawline clinched. “I’m going to the third floor.” You answered softly and pushed the button.
You got off of the elevator not looking back at him, but knowing he was watching. Once you heard the elevator doors close you hurried to the abandoned office to get ready. You position yourselfagainst the desk, removing your hairpin letting it fall. You knew he would come, he always did.
Just as you thought a few minutes later the door opens, he shut and locked the door all while not taking his sight off of you. He slowly started walking forward, rolling up the sleeves of his collared shirt. You could feel your panties becoming damp, just from his stare.
Spencer stopped inches from you, then leaned forward resting his hands on the desk, boxing you in. He leaned in, barely letting his lip brush your ear. “Was that you’re way of being amusing?” He asks sharply, your body tenses, eyes clamping shut at his tone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” “Hmm…is that so.” He whispers sending more chills down your spine.
You then felt his hand firmly grip your thigh through your skirt causing you to jump. “Don’t act like you didn’t bend over in this little tight skirt on purpose, you wanted me to come down here.” “You followed me.” You smarted back “We both know why you came down here. Why you’re so tense. I bet you’re already wet just from me barely touching you” He tightened the grip on your thigh with every word, him talking like that always made your body tremble. You hated that he was right, and he knew it.
“And what if I did.” You challenge back, magically you were still somewhat keeping your composure. “Well, then you know what you have to do.” You couldn’t believe he was so full of himself, actually, he was always like this in these tense situations. You had seen this side of him a few times while dating, but it still always took your breath away, because it was so different from his sweet and shy personality. You loved both sides.
"No" You spat quickly, enjoying the game you two always played. “Then I’ll just make you beg.” He growls and burrowed his lips into your neck, causing you to let out a moan instantly. He lifts, sitting you on the desk, pushing your legs apart roughly causing your skirt to rise. You pull him closer to you meeting his lips, his kisses were so dominant. Everything about him was dominant when he got you alone. You needed a man like that.
Still kissing you he slowly unbuttoned your top, exposing your body to him. He parted from you to glance down at your body, licking his lips like a starved animal. “Did you wear this for me, baby?” He asked admiring your very thin lace bra. “Maybe. Maybe I wore it for someone else” you shrug. He stared into your eyes.
“Stand up now.” He demanded, backing off of you. Gosh yes, you loved when he told you what to do. You stand, pulling your skirt back down. “I’ll handle that.” He said and then keeled before you, yanking the skirt down to the floor. You gasp from the slight pain of the tight skirt pulling against your skin, but honestly, you didn’t mind the pain. He stared up at you now just in underwear, never taking his eyes off yours, and slowly ran his fingers up your knees, up between your thighs, and finally reaching your core. He guides his finger over the fabric.
“Why are these soaked?” He asks smirking, you grip onto the desk trying not to give in. He pulled down your wet panties and pulled them over your heels. “Mmm, I love you standing in front of me naked, all soaked for me.” He huffed, staring at your most private parts. Damn it, he made you feel so wrong but so right at the same time.
“What do you want Y/N.” He asks still kneeling below you. "I didn’t say I wanted anything.“ "I think you do, why else would you come to the 3rd floor?” He said softly and began kissing the inside of your thigh. “Oh my gosh.” You moaned out involuntarily. He inched up closer to your core, biting just to tease you. You couldn’t take much more, you needed him and he knew it. “Please.” You screamed. Without another second passing, he began devouring you, licking up all your juices. You couldn’t help but moaning his name.
“Spencer” you cried out too loud, but the way he worked your clit with his tongue was unbelievable. “That’s right, you know who’s name to scream don’t you baby.” He taunts, barely audible between your legs. You cried out as he spread your legs wider to give him more access. Your legs became weak from his pleasure, and you knew it was close. “Spencer I’m gonna cum.” You yelled, so close you didn’t care if anyone heard. Then the pleasure suddenly stopped.
“Not yet. I’m not done with you.” He stated standing and bring his lips back to yours. You could taste yourself on his mouth, it was so hot. “Please, Spencer.” You breathed heavy. “Not good enough, please what?” Ugh, he is always like this. “Please make me cum, I need it.” You swallowed your pride. “Why do you need me to make you cum, does your husband not make you cum?”
You hesitate to answer so he plunged two fingers into you. “Ah, shit” you moaned out, letting your head fall back. “Tell me now.” He growled pumping his fingers faster than you knew possible into your soaked folds. You gripped onto his shoulders, crying out in pleasure. “Fuck yes” you scream, you were right there again. He suddenly removes his fingers and you look to see him smiling at you.
“Come on dear, just say it and I’ll make you cum just how you like.” He whispers in your ear and then trailed kisses down to your breast. He took one of your nipples in his mouth. You couldn’t help but groan at how sensitive they are now. How does he do this to you? He sucked and tugged on your nipples, making your wetness drip down to your thigh.
“Please!” You cried out, about to explode with need. He came up from your nipples. Suddenly he grabbed your hand pressing it hard against his dick. You gripped him feeling how long and so hard it was pulsing. You gulp, him still staring at you with dark eyes. You finally gave in.
“He doesn’t make me feel like you, nobody fucks me like you.” You need the release and didn’t care at this point. “That’s all you had to say, baby.” He chuckled removing his hand and then bent you over the desk. “You ready for this?” He asks still being cocky. “Yes, please fuck my pussy.” You were beyond desperate at this point. He growled in approval and roughly pounds his dick into you. You cry out feeling your insides stretched around his large size.
You grab for the desk needing something to hold from the hard pounding he was giving you. “Ah you take my dick so well Y/N” Spencer groaned. He kept a steady hard pace, killing you. “Shit, don’t stop.” You pleaded.
“Say my name.” He groans. You moaned out his name softly. “No louder, who fucks you like this?” He grows this time fucking you even harder. You could feel your climax coming. He never lets you forget that he fucks you better than anyone else ever has.
“Spencer” you scream as he took you over the edge making your body shake from the rush. He began moaning loudly himself and then found his own release before he collapsed on top of you. After catching his breath he removed himself, you both stood feeling the tension fill the room. Neither of you liked this, but he was like a drug to you.
“We weren’t supposed to do this anymore.” You huff after returning your clothes. “It’s not my fault your husband can’t do what I can.” He winked and you rolled your eyes before quickly leaving the room.
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