#mom why
smashs-blog-deactivated20211210:
In a few hours I will be turning 32 years old, 6 months ago I PROMISED myself I would not go into 32 being in active addiction. I am trying but I LITERALLY purposely took my sleeping meds so I would stay asleep all day so I WOULDNT USE METH.
My husband is off on weekends so he’s been with the kids.
It’s 10pm I am just waking up for a second time to eat and whatever and the first thing I grab is what?
MY PILO my throat actually kinda burns wanting to hit this bitch.
In my brain I justify it somehow being ok because I am not slamming it.
I NEVER REALLY FELT LIKE A JUNKIE UNTIL I STARTED SLAMMING IT AND NOW IM TRYING NOT TO ANYMORE .
What the fuck have I done to myself?
I knew fucking better then to play with fire and I ACTUALLY THOUGHT I WOULDNT GET HOOKED .
Anyway happy birthday to me.
The junkie mother
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