#murasakibara atsushi

{knb icons}

they had a picnic omg

《my babies lockscreen》

knb characters as chihuahuas ; a small thread

❁ murasakibara layout ❁

req by - @mlkyboo<3

My sister’s reaction to the latest episode of Kuroko No Basuke:

Sis: Oh my God Akashi-kun is so mean!
Sis: I still love him!

Kagami:

• Works some sort of fast food job
• Probably in the kitchen of like a Mcdonalds pretending that it is a 5-star restaurant
• I want those fries looking CRISPED
• At first glance he acts like Mcdonalds Gordon Ramsay but is actually more like spongebob
• His boss loves him beause he gives everything 110%
• Except he sucks at talking to customers

Aomine:

• Works at a gas station that nobody goes to 
• Teaches new drivers how to pump their own gas because watching them try to figure out the machine is literally unbearable and also his older brother mode gets activated 
• Spends most of his shift actually doing nothing/eating the snacks sold at the corner store
• Throwing crumpled up receipts at his coworkers
• Customers are usually truck drivers on long trips or new drivers trying to avoid busy gas stations
• Usually works the nightshifts 

Kuroko:

• Works as either a babysitter or at a daycare 
• Usually comes home covered in stickers and hair ties
• Will occasionally get recognized by children while out in public which throws off his friends everytime 
• Gets a little too into the games he plays with the kids 
• No timmy I can’t have milk in my pretend tea I’m lactose intolerant 
• Has been the princess/prince/horse/dragon but his favourite is definetly the princess because he milks the shit out of it

Kise:

• Part time model and part time barista and he makes sure everyone knows it 
• Chats up customers while making their drinks and listening to their problems like a cliche bar tender 
• If you think he wouldn’t draw little festive doodles on all the cups
• Sings at work 
• Will karaoke whatever is on the radio 
• Always smells like coffee

Midorima:

• Works as like a receptionist at the hospital or some kind of job that is very hard to get as a teenager but he making BANK
• All his friends make fun of him for his receptionist speed typing
• Answering phone calls in an unfriendly but very professional voice
• Takao likes to sit in the waiting room of his work and Midorima likes to pretend he doesn’t know him
• Spends the majority of his time faxing things like an old man

Akashi:

• Doesn’t have a part time job
• But frequently visits his friends jobs 
• Pulls up in his expensive car to the sketchy gas station Aomine works at to tell him he’s doing a good job
• Frequents murasakibara’s bakery and the old lady that works there with him thinks he’s such a dream boat and makes sure murasakibara knows

Murasakibara:

• Works at a local bakery and loves every minute of it
• Is absolutely a terrible employee but his boss is like a small old lady and he loves her and she loves him 
• Trying to decorate small cakes with his big hands
• Professional taste tester
• Works at a quiet bakery with maybe 2 other employees and his boss and they’re like one happy/chaotic family
• Actually loves watching small kids come in and get excited over all the different treats
•  Is a sucker for giving out free samples because he soft 
• Also if you yell at any of his coworkers he will step on you 

Kagami:

•  Loud drunk
• Becomes strangely supportive and will indulge any and all bad ideas his drunk friends (mostly aomine)proposes 
• Laughs like an absolute goon
• Will let you do drunk backflips but also give you shit for not drinking enough water because it’s hydrate or diedrate bitch
• When he gets too drunk he cries

Aomine:

• Hardcore parkcore
• Fully believes that he is spiderman 
• The drunker he gets the more he starts to make abrupt but very insightful observations about his friends personalities and behaviors
• More often then not the most inebriated by the end of the night

Akashi:

• He thinks he’s good at covering it but he absolutely is not
• Clumsy drunk
• Doesn’t really understand but will be a good hype man
• is the one to take everyone’s drunk food orders because nobody else can read
• The drunker he gets the more exaggerated his vocabulary becomes 

Kuroko:

• Just vibing
• Completely and utterly loses his filter 
• Mercilessly roasts the shit out of everyone (Mostly Kagami because he’s the loudest)
• sitting in the living room by himself after everyone is either asleep or went home silently eating a sleeve of saltine crackers 

Kise:

• Flirty drunk
• Is probably the best at hiding being drunk
• If anyone is going to end up making out with someone its kise
• You will lose him like halfway through the party and then like 3 hours later he just shows up outta know where  

Midorima:

• Doesn’t drink often and when he does it takes him like half an hour to finish one drink
• Says he’s not going to mom but always does
• Grumpily herding up all his children at the end of the night
• Absolutely refuses to admit he did/said anything nice to his friends whilst drunk
• Really likes drunk deep conversations 
• Shockingly good drunken wisdom and advice  

Murasakibara:

• Will sit and pat your head for like 45 minutes
• Probably drinks the most 
• Extremely cuddly drunk
• Either turns quiet or soft boy tm
• also sleepy drunk
• y’all better not forget to tuck him in

not me realizing that it’s spelt headcanons and not headcannons after like 6 of these posts

Kagami:

• He has like 2 pictures and they’re both from like 5 years ago and they’re probably bad
• pretends like he doesn’t use social media but actually just lurks
• He has no pictures but kuroko has like 30 pictures of kagami being dumb and you’ll have to pry those pictures from his cold dead hands he will never take them down

Kuroko:

• He has like 20 followers but his account is just an absolute disaster
• Every account he has is a spam account
• Has about 400 posts but only like 5 are actually pictures of him
• Roasts his friends in the comments of their own posts

Kise:

• You will find him on every platform you can think of
• Actually he will find you 3 seconds after making an account you’ll get a friend request from him and either the algorithms are really good or kise is outside your house with a pair of binoculars waiting for you to finish making your linkedin account so he can add u
• Has like 8000 pictures of himself on his instagram but if you ask him about them he’ll tell you he hates all of them

Aomine:

• Also like Kagami, he has like no pictures but he’s more open about lurking cause he comments mean shit on his friends posts
• By mean shit I mean mean shit but with love
• Most of his pictures are like thirsts traps that he posts for like a week and then deletes them and then he does it again and the cycle repeats
• Likes to argue with random people online

Midorima:

• Has a private account with like 3 followers and he won’t accept your friend request for at least a year
• That or he has one specific social media platform that he uses constantly and nothing else
• Checking your facebook feed and exclusively seeing scrolling posts from your distant relatives and 5000 horocscope shared posts from midorima 
• Doesn’t know how social media works
• Living personification of old people facebook

Akashi:

• Has very professional looking social media that he checks never
• You’ll send him something and then 6 months later you’ll get a message from him like ‘haha, I enjoyed this image thank you for the laugh’ 
• Or he’ll send someone a really old meme and they’re just like “Akashi thats from like 7 years ago”
• Once a year consistently he’ll go on his friends profile and make sure to like all their posts 

Murasakibara:

• You will never find him on anything because his account names are definitely some niche inside joke that no one understands 
• If you do find him you will never understand his posts because he will post shit like just a picture zoomed in on his forehead
• Can’t tell if he’s either behind on social media or he’s elavated to another level society isn’t ready for yet
• Posting thirsty comments on his friends posts
• And since nobody knows his account name people will just see his comments and be like wtf who is this 
• If you get a weird dm there’s like a 90% chance its him just tryna mess with u 

Takao:

• Exactly what you think it is
• Just one big hot mess
• Also posts thirsty comments on his friends posts
• Much like Kise he is on everyplatform and he absolutely will find you especially if you don’t want him to
• Can’t tell the difference between his shitposts and his non shitsposts

Aka me projecting

Kagami:

• Absolute dad driver 
• All aboard the safety express
• 10 and 2 driving with the boys
• Probably the best driver in the group minus akashi but also is highkey lowkey a backseat driver and that’s why he is always the one to drive
• The lawful good of driving

Aomine:

• Drives like a madman 
• Doesn’t fear death
• Fears nothing and no one because he drives a huge, ugly million year old truck that probably has a busted muffler that he wont fix what an asshole
• Has miraculously never been in an accident
• Actually pretty good at controling the vehicle but he drives like such an asshole that it doesn’t count
• The chaotic evil of driving

Kuroko:

• Has definitely done some questionable things but no one was around so deny till you die kids
• Not the best but by no means the worst
• Generally passable 
• Passive aggressively does exaggerated head movements when Kagami is in the car because they function like an old married couple and Kagami has  definitely badgered him about it

Kise:

• Screams “Jesus take the wheel!” every time he turns 
• Rams over the curb when he pulls up to pick you up
• Has a very nice car on the front but the back is covered in scratches from shit he’s rammed into from backing up
• Can’t park to save his life 
• Getting whiplash when he stops at a red light

Midorima:

• Doesn’t drive that’s what Takao is for

Akashi:

• Has a driver so he doesn’t really need to
• But he knows how and when he does he drives like a robot
• Very smooth, driving instructoresque coordination
• Zero whiplash 
• Overall drives like he’s driving around the queen

Murasakibara:

• Hates driving because its tedious and he has to follow the traffic laws
• Drives very rarely and when he does it’s a disaster 
• All around terrible driver no one would ever let him drive their car 
• On the plus side he is the best passenger because if you do something bad he genuinely will not notice