#ofmd crack
an unofficial exploration of which black sails and our flag means death characters would do best/worst in each others universes
characters who would crush it in a worldswap
Izzy - izzy wakes up every day and curses god that he doesn’t get to hang out with BS blackbeard, who would fucking hate Izzy. He’d call izzy a gross little pervert and izzy would have the best orgasm of his life about it
Ed - not saying he would crush it, but I think he would develop a big weird crush on flint and his clavichord and teakettles and it would be very funny for me personally
Silver - ya boy would CLEAN UP. whole new world of pirates here who don’t know his reputation for bullshit and genuinely believe in the power of friendship. scams for days
Anne Bonny - another clean sweep. no survivors. she and Jim exchange a stoic nod. would introduce much-needed lesbian biodiversity to the ofmd biome, like bringing wolves back to yellowstone
Flint - if i think about this too much i start crying
Jack Rackham - would finally be appreciated as the fashion icon he is. also huge improvement over the will arnett version of jack. In general, would have a nice time and go home very refreshed
Characters who would not have a good time in a worldswap:
Charles “it’s gay to live in a house” Vane - sure he’s tough but can he survive getting dunked on constantly? Probably not.
Lucius - I think he’d get by alright actually but would HATE it and be very sulky
Stede- stabbed to death and corpse looted the second he sets foot in nassau, RIP
manifesting the return of lucius in season 2
david jenkins, i demand an explanation for the crocs
The Gentleman Pirate : who’s got the biggest balls ?(it’s Jackie obv)Bonus : Stede’s reaction
Why I love Lucius more than life itself
so we know and love this scene
Lucius:ineffective gay hammering
(and he actually doesn’t get smacked for not working, unlike Pete)
and THEN
HE’S STILL HOLDING ON TO THE HAMMER TO SEEM BUSY
HAMMERINGA SAIL. TO THE DECK.
Lucius Spriggs you are a magnificent creature never change ily
Knowing how your partner takes their tea is a love language
our flag means death but that rat from Horrible Histories turns up every now and then with his true/false sign for the historical facts
[Image above is of Stede and Lucius talking on deck, with the caption “So… I pay my crew a salary”. In the bottom right corner, Rattus Rattus, a rat puppet, is holding up a sign saying “This is true”. End ID.]
[ID: Izzy, looking distressed, hiding behind a mast as he listens to Stede try and remove the sword he stabbed Ed with. The caption reads “Blackbeard: Keep going. Keep- Yeah.” In the botom right corner, Rattus Rattus holds a sign saying “SILLY”. End ID]
[ID: Stede and Ed on the beach, looking into each others’ eyes, captioned “What makes Ed happy is… you.” Rattus Rattus in the corner holds a sign with a rainbow flag on it. End ID]