#giggles

fearfullymade-locs:

thedameloves:

homeisaheartbeat:

What are your top beauty tips?

Start out perfect and don’t change a thing. Always accentuate your best features by pointing at them. And conceal your flaws by sucker punching anyone who has the audacity to mention them.

Never too old to learn from the Muppets.

And this:

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” - Miss Piggy

Miss Piggy is my favorite!

smiles

dancefloors:

sebstan best dressed award for the gay liam payne themed met gala that he’s attending in his mind

Birthday spanks. Not a lot of marks but was a great night

Imagine your f/o lying in bed after a bad day. You are sitting beside them and they suddenly go, “Can you kiss me goodnight?” 

In hopes of helping them feel better, you kiss them goodnight. 

John: Do you need anything while I’m up? Something to drink?

Me: You look like a nice tall glass of water if I do say so myself. Let me get a sip

John: You can have more than a sip. You can have the whole pitcher,Darlin’

I love him

natalieironside:

wizardshark:

disteal:

seelcudoom:

disteal:

The morbius meme is uniquely great knowing Disney can’t make the most of the PR when it’s 200x funnier if you refuse to watch the movie

its overshadowed the movie itself so much i legit dont even know what its about? i think hes a vampire? and other then that literally everything i have heard about him is its morbin time

Jared leto, vampire, it’s marvel somehow, nobody saw it, don’t know don’t care its morbin time

Disney didn’t even make it, it was Sony, that’s even funnier. No one knows fucking anything about this movie

I know it’s got that morbman in it

peach-pot:

mateodoodle:

peach-pot:

the thing the community writers don’t understand is that every character is gay and trans. I know it though.

for just pennies a day, you could help my boyfriend afford screenshots with more than 7 pixels

death2america:

death2america:

“oh mein gott” destroyed germany, “woa mama mia cunt” destroyed italy, and “naur” destroyed australia. who is next?

“forcing your guest to sit alone while your family eats together downstairs” has destroyed sweden

tiktoks-for-tired-tots:

icannotgetoverbirds:

thebiscuiteternal:

damonnscroww:

voluntaryvictim:

glad to see those spreading the truth

Rb to force new people from twitter to eat bees

Oh, hey, I was wondering when I’d get to use this again.

did you just fucking have this

twsted-seas:

Kalim repeatedly hugging Vil and even calling him “Instructor Vil” while Vil just goes along with it? Adorable, 10/10, full marks.

imposterogers:

imposterogers:

nothing bruce spray painted on the floor was worth ruining the hardwood for. ‘no more lies’ ‘coulson’ ‘the sins of my father??’ ‘mitchell’ bruce babe look me in the eyes and tell me u couldn’t have worked that out in a notebook 

renpai:

my gf is german and she just forgot the word for slug so she asked me “how do you call snails without homes”