One of the hidden gems of the Good Omens television spectacular are Hasturs’s hysterical screaming. Oh, of course his shrieks at the melting of Ligur win the gold medal — but his TERROR at Crowley’s driving…
I took that scene as Hastur not afraid of the flames, so much, but of the SPEED…probably his first time on the highway, definitely first time going over 60 MPH, probably his first time in a car…to suddenly be in this human contraption filled him with mortal terror.
I figured his mind was probably fuckin BLOWN at ‘the wheel’.
Hastur getting gradually more terrified over millenias at all the new humans inventions, especially the ones meant for transportation is hilarious to me.
Chariot? Death trap.
Car? Why was that even allowed ????
TRAIN???? TRAIN ????? FUCKING TRAIN GOING 200 km/h WITH HUNDRED OF PEOPLE INSIDE ????? WTF
OKAY BUT THE FROG. lolol it is also terrified and thats very good.
In LOTR “Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys” implies that Orcs know what a menu is, and have therefore been to a restaurant. I wonder what a restaurant in Mordor is like.
where’s my romantic comedy fic of zuko having no idea how to be a father to a baby dragon and sokka shows up and tries to help and they fall in love as they care for druk together
jo forgive me but i think its 10 x funnier if its a modern au and they’re just chilling in a cafe in singapore trying to conceal from their friends that their rapidly growing pet lizard can fly and also breathe fire
10:18 AM [zuko]: HEL P s E ND He lp apartment on fire. accidentally adopted a dragon
10:28 AM [sokka]: you accidentally adopted a dragon? dude what?
10:30 AM [zuko]: Attachment: Img39403.jpg
10:45 AM [sokka]: don’t. move.
11:00 AM [zuko]: AS IF I COULD
a few weeks have since passed, apartment on fire is a daily routine.
book one harry: *loses 2 house points* oh my god they’re all going to hate me this is the biggest atrocity i have ever committed in my academic career, i have forever tarnished the reputation of gryffindor house
book six harry: *loses 70 points for gryffindor* * almost gets expelled* ask me if i give a motherfuck??
which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?
y- you were putting it in cold water?????
Radish. Answer the question radish.
yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason
You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???
[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]
why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it
Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove
Its takes less than a minute
Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun
How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove
Like seven minutes
Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…
Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted
Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic
Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief
(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)
RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell
Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act
Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?
MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!
FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.
RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?
Without the guide of others I assumed
That heat was merely added for the sake
Of expediting this solution’s brewing!
Half a decade I have spent, or more,
Not questioning this worldview I had made.
In fact, I am myself a bit surprised
That you might think that I, your dearest friend,
Might have a patience of sufficient stock
To wait until a pot of water boils.
FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?
The microwave will beep when it is done!
CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!
Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!
FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know
That I have not the patience, like our Root,
To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?
CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!
FROG: On what plate?
Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?
CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task
Of boiling but a single cup alone?
FROG: In minutes?
CATS'N: Yes!
FROG: I counted seven, once.
CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!
If on a middle heat you place the cup
You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.
Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate
Or even less, if you should have a pot.
FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?
You place upon the iron stove a mug?
A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?
How do these flames, though medium in height,
Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?
Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched
With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!
(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)
KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.
When Jesus found out that one of his friends was going to betray him, he invited everyone over for a passive aggressive dinner. Jesus was one of the original Real Housewives.
Playing with my tablet. Trying to practice with my lines, shading, backgrounds, the whole shabang! Anyway here is Kagome at a hotspring. Hmm if she has InuYasha’s robe of the fire rat then what is he wearing…?
Little in the middle but she got much BACK
Lmao omg those tags! I ugly snort laughed and now that song is stuck in my head!
you know what? it’s been long enough i think we can admit that abc’s once upon a time was dumb as all shit and that’s why it fucks
the evil queen’s mom was the queen of hearts, and also the miller’s daughter from rumpelstiltskin. rumpelstiltskin is also the beast from beauty and the beast and peter pan’s son. his wife eloped with captain hook and his mom kidnapped his secondborn son with belle to use as a weapon against his daughter-in-law
there were four rapunzels- one who only appeared in one episode and then was never mentioned again, and then three from the final season- one of whom was mother gothel in disguise (who is also a nymph and had a scene identical to the prom scene in carrie), one of whom was lady tremaine, and the final of whom was alice in wonderland, captain hook’s daughter
hades fell in love with the wicked witch of the west and also was that guy from ally mcbeal and we were supposed to take that 100% seriously
maleficent got impregnated by a mystery man and laid an egg, out of which hatched a human baby. they went to find her dad and never showed up in the show again. we find out in the last episode that her dad was zorro and nothing else is mentioned of this
the frozen characters were all there, completely based on canon with no alterations like everyone else got, and nobody questioned this. cruella de vil was also there and now is probably fighting with king arthur over custody of hell
mérida was there for like a season and a half and not once did she ever get a costume change. they were at a funeral and you can see her bright bluegreen dress just. there
henry jumped on a lion in new york and gave a speech about how magic is real
at the end they crowned the evil queen empress of everything just bc
there was a musical episode
nothing in this show made sense and that’s why it’s fucking hilarious
HENRY HAD A LOVE INTEREST FROM CAMELOT AND IN HER FINAL APPEARANCE SHE RETCONS HER BACKSTORY AND SAYS HER DAD WAS FROM EARTH AND WE FIND OUT HER DAD WAS THE CONNECTICUT YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT
WHICH IS NOT ONLY THE FUNNIEST RETCON IN HISTORY (funnier by the fact he does have the right name, meaning that this was planned and they just forgot to drop any foreshadowing) BUT IF YOU FOLLOW BOOKCANON IT MEANS THAT HER BIRTH NAME IS HELLO-CENTRAL
