#out of context dnd quotes
In our prior battle, our gnome had opened a portal to the plane of air elementals which, as our GM informed us, is very easy to open but very hard to close.
Gnome: Wait… It’s hard to close from here. So WHAT IF
Ranger: Don’t do thi-
Gnome: WHAT IF I go into the plane of air elementals and close that portal and then open a new one here come back through it, and THEN close that portal.
GM: Sure, if you want to risk opening a portal on the other side of the world.
Gnome: …. I’ll get back to you.
The druid is sneaking through the camp site and a few soldiers start walking towards her general direction.
Druid: Uhhh I TURN INTO A TREE.
DM: The camp you’re sneaking through is in an open field.
Druid Player: Shit.
Soldier: Has that tree always been there?
Druid: I’ve been here for weeks!
DM: Roll bluff.
Druid Player: Crit.
Soldier: Well the tree would know better than us I suppose!
We had just found the cleric’s mom crucified in town, took her down and let her rest.
Cleric: Mom, how are you doing?
Mom: Well I’m hanging in there.
Cleric: Mom.