#outofcontextdndquotes
DM: I’m kind of disappointed he’s dead, having him find you was great.
Elf: His ghost should haunt him!
Gnome: I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
Ghost busters theme ensues
The gnomes arch nemesis had found us on the docks and tried to harness extra power into a touch attack, just missing him.
Gnome: Oh you have magic hands? ME TOO.
*rubs his hands together, touches the nemesis’ chest with them, electrocuting him.*
Gnome player: So if I add that all up thats… 36 damage.
DM: You defibrillated him so hard he exploded.
Gnome (20 minutes later): Oh man I just thought of a great one and I missed my chance.
DM: What?
Gnome: To say to him! “I’ve gotta say I’m pretty shocked to see you but not AS SHOCKED AS YOU WILL BE”
In our prior battle, our gnome had opened a portal to the plane of air elementals which, as our GM informed us, is very easy to open but very hard to close.
Gnome: Wait… It’s hard to close from here. So WHAT IF
Ranger: Don’t do thi-
Gnome: WHAT IF I go into the plane of air elementals and close that portal and then open a new one here come back through it, and THEN close that portal.
GM: Sure, if you want to risk opening a portal on the other side of the world.
Gnome: …. I’ll get back to you.
The druid is sneaking through the camp site and a few soldiers start walking towards her general direction.
Druid: Uhhh I TURN INTO A TREE.
DM: The camp you’re sneaking through is in an open field.
Druid Player: Shit.
Soldier: Has that tree always been there?
Druid: I’ve been here for weeks!
DM: Roll bluff.
Druid Player: Crit.
Soldier: Well the tree would know better than us I suppose!
We had just found the cleric’s mom crucified in town, took her down and let her rest.
Cleric: Mom, how are you doing?
Mom: Well I’m hanging in there.
Cleric: Mom.
