Why We Need Gender Neutral Bathrooms

By: Ashtyn

Have you ever felt singled out for something that you can’t control? It definitely is a horrendous feeling. Sadly, this is often an everyday reality for trans and nonbinary people “thanks” to gender specific bathrooms. Although this community of people are a minority, we need gender neutral bathrooms for several reasons.

First what does transgender and nonbinary mean (since many people still don’t know)? Transgender (often shortened to trans) means someone who does not identify with their gender assigned at birth. Terms that fit right along with this community are FTM and MTF, meaning female to male and male to female. Another term that also fits in with the trans community is nonbinary. What does it mean to be nonbinary though? A nonbinary person does not feel like a guy or girl. This could include people who switch between various identities (not by choice), someone who doesn’t feel any gender, and so much more.

These are the main groups that are negatively affected by gender specific bathrooms, also known as bathrooms that have the labels of “girl’s” and “boy’s”.

How are gender specific bathrooms harmful to FTM and MTF people. Most people would come up with the answer of just using the bathroom that you identify with. Sounds easy enough right? Well, it’s not. From a legal standpoint some places require transgender people to use the bathroom that aligns with the gender on their birth certificate. This is especially harmful to trans people who have fully transitioned (medically and socially), who would obviously not belong in the bathroom that matches their gender assigned at birth. If we had gender neutral bathrooms, we wouldn’t even have to worry about the unnecessary step of checking everyone’s birth certificate. That is completely unpractical for someone who just wants to relieve themself in peace.

How are gender specific bathrooms harmful to nonbinary people though? In many ways. Let’s start off with our first situation of a genderfluid person trying to use the bathroom. First, a genderfluid person is someone who’s gender changes as often as every day to every year (this varies from person to person though). Someone who presents in a very feminine manner one day, walks into the men’s bathroom the next day looking very masculine might raise some unwanted attention. If we had gender neutral bathrooms, genderfluid people would not have to worry about this.

What if an agender person (someone who does not have a gender) tried to use the bathroom, only to find out that they were gendered. This could be distressing to many genderless people, as they wouldn’t identify with either bathroom. For example, even if an agender person was born biologically female, they might feel uncomfortable with going into the female bathroom since that’s not what they identify with. Some agender people present as more masculine or feminine, so if they went into a bathroom where no one looked like them, it could once again raise some unwanted attention. No one would have to go through this though if we had gender neutral bathrooms. No one has to choose, and no one feels unwelcome.

While there are many social disadvantages of gender specific bathrooms, there is one big personal disadvantage to gender specific bathrooms. Gender dysphoria. While not all trans and nonbinary people experience this, it is very common. What is gender dysphoria though? Gender dysphoria is the extreme distress that is caused by one’s assigned gender not matching up with how they actually identify. Things that cause this include physical traits that do not line up with one’s gender, but social dysphoria is also rough. Social gender dysphoria includes things like being misgendered, being forced to wear clothing of one’s assigned gender, and gender specific bathrooms. If you’re cisgender, imagine how you would if you weren’t allowed into your gender’s bathroom. It would feel really bad.

While I might just sound like some “special snowflake” going on a rant, their are facts that support why we should have gender neutral bathrooms. About 40% of respondents to an online transgender survey said that they have attempted suicide. This is nine times the national average. A lot of the motivation behind a trans person feeling suicidal is often dysphoria, something that is elevated for most by having to choose which bathroom to use. Arguments against gender neutral bathrooms have been analyzed and compared to those of Victorian times when a similar debate was occuring. A shocking amount of the points made against gender neutral bathrooms in both Victorian and modern times are the same. If we want to have made progress since then, bathrooms are a good place to start. Even with these facts though, people still oppose inclusive bathrooms. Why is this?

I have heard many arguments stating why we should keep gender specific bathrooms, but one point in particular has emerged in almost every one of these debates. A lot of people feel as if there is a possibility of being assaulted if we have bathrooms free for people of any gender to use. The other side of this debate feels that predators will use these bathrooms as a chance to come in contact with their next victim. This is a very genuine concern, but this is not something that we need to worry about. There have been no instances of assault due to gender neutral bathrooms, so there is no real platform that we can base this fear on. Trans people have quite a large risk of getting assaulted though for using the restroom that aligns with their identity. Since the people that actually need inclusive bathrooms are the ones at risk in gender specific bathrooms, why not put them into action?

While there are many people in the world who have to deal with gender specific bathrooms, I also have had personal experience with this issue. I was assigned female at birth, but I identify as agender meaning that I don’t feel as if I am a guy or a girl. I deal with a lot of dysphoria regarding my more feminine characteristics and the day to day situation of being misgendered constantly. Through all of this one of the things that brings me the most dysphoria is having to use the bathroom in public where gender neutral bathrooms are almost unheard of. This is a problem that occurs most at school where there are only male and female bathrooms. Even though there are no laws restricting me from using the men’s restroom (where I would feel the most comfortable even though I don’t identify a guy) I feel as if I have to use the girl’s bathroom because I would be completely socially annihilated if I didn’t. Every single time I have to use the bathroom I have to bear with the mental and emotional pain of walking into the space with the sign that reads “girl’s”. This situation strongly renders my ability to focus when I return to class. This sounds very stressful (and it is), but there is an easy way to fix it. You guessed it, by taking down the signs that read “boy’s” and “girl’s” and making the bathroom a place where everyone can go without having to sacrifice their mental health. I know for a fact that this would make my day way easier to go through, and would help more people than expected.

Gender neutral bathrooms are obviously a necessity for trans and nonbinary people everywhere. They improve the quality of our lives, have no disadvantages for cisgender people, and could even assist in reducing the suicide rates in trans people. Why not put something into place that would help people everywhere? I’m not sure why inclusive bathrooms are so rare, so maybe it’s time to take action, and maybe even save a life in the process.

keister-meister:

I know this has been discussed to death but

The double standards anti-Snape people have regarding his behavior as a child/teenager are like… ridiculous.

When other characters display immature and bad behavior as children, it’s attributed to them being just normal, ignorant, immature kids who can’t be expected to know any better yet.

When Snape does it however… it’s him being BAD and evil on purpose, because for some weird reason his haters just expect that he, a neglected and mistreated child, should know better? It’s like he’s not allowed to be an ignorant kid like the others, as if he should be expected to act like a mature, mentally sound adult (that he never was) all the way back when he is an actual child, and when he doesn’t act that way, it’s taken as proof that he’s choosing to be human excrement and deserves everything bad that happens to him.

When James butts into his conversation with Lily on the train and insults the house he wants to go to? It’s James just being an ignorant, stupid kid with no self control yet – it’s no big deal. He’s just being a kid.

When Snape hits back and insults James’ favorite house (in a much milder manner even)? He’s openly disrespecting James’ opinion AND insulting James’ family for being Gryffindor – what an intolerant douche! He should act more mature and know better than to take the bait!

When Petunia disrespects him on the playground? Well, she’s an ordinary, middle-class child, how can we expect her NOT to judge that greasy weirdo from the bad neighborhood jumping out from the bush and claiming to be a wizard? That’s just how children are – they judge other kids for being weird, because they don’t know any better. It’s no big deal. She’s just being a kid.

When Snape retaliates and is more or less like ‘Well I don’t respect you either, you’re a muggle and you don’t matter to me’? He’s an evil bigot, judging Petunia for something she can’t help. How dare he not turn the other cheek and act kindly and respectfully towards her, even if she doesn’t do the same for him? It would be the right and mature thing to do.

When the Marauders as teenagers create a magical map that they can use to invade others’ privacy by practically stalking their location at Hogwarts at any time, it’s just wholesome and endearing, a cool thing for a brilliant and mischievous group of friends. When 11-year-old Snape and Lily read Petunia’s letter from Dumbledore (because he’s curious about a muggle writing to Hogwarts), it’s a borderline criminal breach of privacy, an awful act of disrespect and most importantly, all his fault.

The list of examples could go on and on.

People act like Snape owes respect to people who disrespectedhim first, but they don’t hold other characters to the same standard. It’s so ridiculous. You just know that if it was the other way around, if young Snape was the one going around disrespecting others first, everybody would be cheering the insulted characters on to hit back at Snape twice as hard. You just know.It’s in the fics.

But Snape is different. He’s ugly and weird and poor, so he should just acceptsome amount of disrespect and disdain from his betters other people. He is not allowed to hit back at all – he is expected to respect everyone around him regardless of whether they have earned it, yet nobody else is expected to give himthat same basic respect. It just rubs me the wrong way.

It matches closely with my personal experiences, unfortunately.

The impoverished kids from “bad” neighborhoods are treated as if they’re miniature adults, rather than actual children. Ignorance past six years old is treated as proof of some inherent moral inferiority, or a deliberate unwillingness to learn, no matter how little resources/time you have to become informed. It’s funny when people threaten you, but you’re out of control if you threaten them back. Not bathing or eating or what you wear, are clearly impish choices to offend everyone’s senses.

Middle to upper class kids, in comparison, got an aggressive benefit of the doubt and a downright belligerent presumption of innocence. The burden is placed on the poor kids to not break any illusions. Ignorance is treated just a slightly inconvenient (but adorable) form of moral purity well into your late twenties, no matter how good your library or schools are. And threats are either kinda cute, or just a joke, man.