#dysphoria

Out of curiosity, how many transmeds here actually believe that you need debilitating gender dysphoria in order to be a valid transgender person. Tucutes always explain transmedicalism to me (a transmed) by saying we think that you need to absolutely hate yourself to be seen as valid. I know I don’t believe that and I don’t think any of you (minus possible radicals, but radicals are always shit) actually think that.

probablytransmed:

Medicalizing being trans is about:

• Making it easier and cheaper for trans people to get hrt and surgery under insurance
• Making de-transitioners less common

Medicalizing being trans is NOT about:

• Telling anyone if they are or are not trans because their dysphoria doesn’t match a “one size fits all” model

Remember that wanting to make detransitioners less common doesn’t mean it’s not okay to detransition! We make mistakes! We have phases! We just wanna prevent people from medically transitioning and finding out the hard way :)

magepariah:

everytime I see a post like “I believed in transmedicalism before I understood better” the person mentions something about how they used to deny they were trans because they didn’t experience “debilitatingdysphoria”. not that they didn’t experience dysphoria at all but that it wasn’t debilitatingand I’m just like

that’s not what transmedicalists are saying though…? 

some of you are just making up standards without ever even speaking to a transmedicalist, based on gossip from friends or w/e, then act enlightened when your views change from what you THOUGHT transmedicalism was.

literally all it means is believing you need some dysphoria to be trans, for the simple fact that the unease is an indicator that your gender isn’t matching- and that’s any level of unease. that’s ALL. everything else are standards made up by people who disagree despite not really understanding

as much as everyone says they hate transmeds and they’re against transmeds, every trans person I’ve ever spoken to describes some level of unease with their birth gender. they describe it in different ways and to different extents, but the very basic indicator of “hey, something isn’t right”, is something even people who claim to have no dysphoria, end up talking about experiencing

what I’m getting at here is that dysphoria encompasses a lot more experiences and “levels” than you’ve been led to believe and the issue here isn’t one of transmed vs everyone else, it’s of poor medical labelling and people thinking they have to be miserable when that’s literally not what anyone is saying

intersex dysphoria is your estrogen and testosterone battling for dominance and shifting the distribution of your body fat constantly so every other month or so you realize your clothes don’t fit the same and you can just never quite feel comfortable in anything

it’s also considering if maybe you should just “pick one” and go on some kind of HRT one way or the other, but feeling dysphoria at even the thought because you want your hormones just how they are despite it being an increasing pain in the ass 

it’s also realizing you walk a hormonal tightrope and it’s scary to think of what problems might get worse if you decide to fall to one side or another, and deciding that walking the middle and not disturbing things is probably just safer

like probably

but also like hell am i messing with my hormones, im too schizo/bipolar for that shit, i’ll just learn to navigate them doing whatever they want

I’m really just trying to get through each day now. I barely have a fight left in me. The worst part? Knowing there’s years ahead before I’ll get to the gender identity clinic and even longer before I can start my medical transition.

I have a love hate relationship with the NHS. I love that it exists, I love the people who work in it and I love all the good they do. What I hate? Having to wait literally years to even get an appointment with the one service I need when any other service takes a month or two at most (most services in most areas) in normal times.

I want to go private but I can’t afford it. I hate this. I don’t want to feel like I’m begging for money because I know their are people in worse situations who need more. I made a fundraiser before but I took it down because I felt like I didn’t deserve peoples help. I just want to feel happy again and I can’t even remember the last time I did.

can never decide whether i should be annoyed or flattered when I say I don’t like how i look and people are like “?????” because like great, thanks, im glad you think im attractive. i literally have gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia and i fucking hate seeing my own face

so, on the subject of how trans people don’t need dysphoria to be trans… having dysphoria doesn’t automatically make you trans. cis people can have dysphoria and no, this isn’t dysmorphia or them actually being trans.

specifically want to address that cis women can want top surgery and a flat chest. and nope, not the same thing as cis women wanting smaller stomachs. this is not a dysmorphia discussion. body dysmorphia is a mental illness and an obsession with a perceived flaw; yes, this can include someone’s chest and an obsession with changing it, and anyone can have dysmorphia. 

cis women can have dysphoria with their chests. so can cis men.

cis women can bind

cis women can pack

cis men can tuck

dysphoria is not exclusive to being trans.

dysphoria =/= being trans, just as not having dysphoria =/= being cis.

how to talk about a group of people i have similar experiences to without referring to myself as a teenage girl

how to deal with the waiting because the binder you really want is out of stock in your size

is sports bra a good replacement for binder

how to explain to people that wearing makeup & dresses makes me feel like I am FALLING out of my own skin (in a bad way)

how long on hrt until i get boobs

bimboyish:

Asking for a friend but uh if I ask them to record my I mean my friends top surgery will they do it?? Need answers ASAP I have 12 days

Vent art

I do wish that I could enjoy being gay and horny on main WITHOUT the debilitating gender dysphoria. Like it’s kind of a massive bummer honestly.

brokentoasterrr:

brokentoasterrr:

no one really talks about how fucking isolating it is to have endometriosis as a trans man and i think we should start doing that

i don’t know if this is just a Me Experience or if it’s applicable to other people, but the influence and representation that i had as a young trans man were youtubers like kalvin garrah; people who pushed their opinions on what it means to be trans and how you’re not trans if you don’t absolutely hate yourself and your body.

people who were so loud about how you need to be to Be Trans made me stop opening up about so many issues that i felt were “too female” to bring up as a man. i’ve been rejecting my femininity just so i can be sure that i am nothing but A Guy in the eyes of the people around me, when the truth of the matter is that people who reject me and refuse to accept me for who i am, are always going to refuse to accept me regardless of how loud i am about my masculinity.

endometriosis is one of those things that affect women. if you google what it is, the majority of articles are going to use female pronouns and educate you on what women experience. and i feel that because i have refused for so long to admit that i am a man who experience the same thing, there’s really no one to talk to about it.

and again, maybe this is a Me Thing. maybe i have isolated myself out of fear of not being valid and feeling so alone in everything is simply just… my fault. but surely i can’t be the only trans person who experiences this. and i’m not just talking about trans men, but trans people in general who feel they have to be as Neutral as possible to be truly seen as non-binary; people who have to reject parts they accept about themselves in order to be accepted by others.

i want to be me as loudly as possible without fearing that the things that make me me are going to invalidate who i am. i want to talk about being curled up in bed once a month, unable to move because if i do, i will throw up and pass out from the pain i feel in my entire body. my stomach, my back; pain that radiates down to my legs and make me cold sweat and nauseous and absolutely miserable.

but i don’t.

i pretended as though this isn’t a problem i experience and i feel so, so alone because i am not a woman who experience this. i am a man. i don’t talk about it out of fear that people are going to read my story and think about me, this random tumblr person, as a girl with endometriosis, when i’m not.

ideally i would exist in a body that matched how i feel about myself, how i see myself and how i want to be perceived.

but i don’t.

there is nothing wrong with my body. it’s a perfectly normal, acceptable body that keeps my brain alive. there is nothing wrong with having endometriosis. there is nothing wrong with having a body that subsequently has endometriosis. and there is nothing wrong with being a man with a body with endometriosis. and i am so tired of rejecting it and pretending that it doesn’t exist when all i’ve been doing for so long is trying to live up to the standards i have set on myself on what it means to be valid.

so i’m gonna keep talking about this shit because i am in pain. i am sad, angry, and alone. and if you’re also in pain and sad and angry about it, then you’re at least not alone anymore.

wanting to bind but being to hot to bind is my nb/transguy aesthetic for the summer

lez-exclude-men:

happysadyoyo:

radicalfembabey:

thequeer-quill:

TERFs don’t want to save trans men and AFAB nonbinarys who don’t look like GNC women.

The want to detransition us, force us to accept our “role” as women, make us proud of the parts of ourselves that often make us the most uncomfortable in our own skin. 

If the trans person in question is white, they want to use our wombs to produce more white babies. Because don’t forget, you can never part the racist from the sexist. 

And if someone’s too far gone, if they’re too loud and brash and wield their words like a baseball bat. If they can’t be silenced, then they want to kill us. Demean us, dehumanize us, use us as a warning to younger, closeted trans people. 

Look at them. Look at what testosterone has done to their bodies, the personalities, their souls. You don’t want to be like that, do you?

TERFs say the want to save us. They don’t.

They want to kill us.

y'all have exactly 0 experience w radfem ideology and it shows

#use our wombs to produce more white babies#you sound insane#we believe in bodily autonomy bro#that doesn’t just stop applying because we disagree

Telling this to a former non-TERF borderline radfem is honestly hilarious~

So you agree? You have no experience with actual radical feminism

“borderline radfem” lmao

@happysadyoyo Your post is so completely wrong about radical feminism that I am certain you were never a “non-TERF borderline radfem”, this lie doesn’t take. We are left-wing and our feminism is logically intersectional, in the original and true definition of the word, coined by black feminist and civil rights advocate Kimberlé Crenshaw. “TERF” is a word you use against such a broad range of people (but, what a surprise, all women !) that I have no doubt there’s women in there that are indeed racist and agreeing with this white supremacist fantasy of birthing white babies, however they are not feminists and even less radical feminists (you know the RF in the acronym), I can’t believe we even have to say that. It’s as if talking to toddlers, trying to explain to them basic facts, that’s how uneducated you are about this movement.

Radical feminism is also known for its anti-natalism but sure do talk about how we want to “use our (trans men) wombs” for racist reasons. We advocate for the right for women to get an abortion if they want it, no exception, this includes trans men of course (I’m sure you know that, since we’re demonized for saying that trans men and women share the same biology, are female). All of your pamphlet is ridiculous if you care to read even just ten per cent of anything we write/say). Wanting to kill you ?! False. I’m going to surprise you tonight but wow we even want trans people to be treated equally to everyone else and not be discriminated when it comes to work/ housing/medical care, etc. “Look at their soul”, we don’t even believe in the religious concept of a soul, that’s something you people from the gender crowd believe in toughly though.

Why do you think it’s so bad that we want to “make (you) proud of the parts of (y)ourselves that often make us the most uncomfortable in our own skin.” Many of us were dysphoric ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with feeling better, with healing. We don’t want to force that on you though, this is something only you can do, in your own pace. There’s no “role” inherent to being a woman (you did put the word role yourself in quote, so why continuing the sentence ? Was this a spark of clarity about woman not being a role ?) femininity is the role and as feminists we criticise gender/gender roles. The term “gender critical” may help you to see that, this is if you choose to not be intellectually dishonest.

I will finish with this : I’m a radical feminist and I came across trans men heavily brainwashed by porn and bdsm who are on this very website indulging in a “kink” of forced detransition. I didn’t linger but it seems to be a growing community since I’ve noticed a good number of them in a short amount of time in these “nsfw” circles. Like any of my feminist sisters I could recognise that as self-harm, self-hatred, not authentic, unhealthy, and I did send a few messages about how they shouldn’t force themselves to detransition. Such thing should come from a place of healing, like I said, not because you were forced by someone else or because you now think “god didn’t intend you to be trans but to follow your feminine essence” or whatever religious sexist nonsense the detransitioners who did it for religious reasons are on. If anything any of what these trans men wrote about their “fantasy” of forced detransition (mind you, they can be very active trans activists all the while doing that) was sad and honestly enraging. It comes with sense there was a big layer of sexism in these posts, wanting to be reduced to a subservient place, to be used by men, to have no authority on their own body, etc, and some are so brainwashed by the “culture” of these porn-addicted spaces that they’re getting closer and closer to doing it.

Do you really think we would be in favour of that ?! Everything in this type of behaviour screams “needs therapy”, a real one, which is exactly the most “extreme” solution we push for. Radical feminists don’t want to harm trans men and non-binary identifying females, we recognise an experience, a pain, more and more our own, and being honest about it as feminist women does not equal any of the word you tried to put together here.