#poetryontumblr

music we small ones do not hear only the echoes, the thin wailing  our ears too delicate  sometimes we swim in infinite waters,  reach out and hope for life above us

we, so small, the deep the blue the humpback  so large, a shadow our smallness

crushed under the fathoms-weight smaller and smaller we miss the music we never hear, never hold not alive anymore 

we would die  before we hear

My Biggest Fear ( A Poem)

I was in second grade
When my teacher said:
“Write about the things that scare you to death”
And among all the normal little-kid stuff
(“I’m afraid of the dentist’s”,
“I’m afraid of the dark”)
In my messy handwriting,one line stood out
One line wasn’t like the rest
Childlike in the most honest way:
“I’m afraid of lonelinnes”

I went back home with the A on my hand
My mom asked me if I even knew what loneliness was
I just shrugged
And I wish I could give the same answer now
But now I’ve grown up
And I know all too well what being alone feels like

At 2am I’m telling my only friend
That this isn’t what I deserved
Cause I’ve spent my whole life
Giving so much to everyone else
She tells me “Baby girl,you have to live for yourself”
I though living for others was the only thing I could do
But then she asks
“Has anyone ever lived for you?”

And I remembered that day
When I was only 8
And already saying I was afraid of lonelinness
Before I even knew what it was like
To stop trusting your dad
To feel abandoned by your mom
To hear your sister saying “I hate you so much”
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To stare at your phone when no one calls back
To sit alone while all your friends are out
To cry while the world’s having fun
To have no one there to dry your tears when they fall
Even though you could fill buckets with the ones you’ve dried before

It wasn’t until I was 16 that I learned what it was like
To look into the mirror,into your own eyes
And find your biggest fear staring back
And my biggest fear were words spoken by the people I loved
My biggest fear was made of goodbyes
My biggest fear is that sooner or later
They’ll always come
I’m terrified of being left behind

But 8 years later I wish I could go back
To look at that little girl in the eye
And promise her we’ll both be alright
Because loneliness is a darkness that comes from the inside
And no matter how many people turn their back
We’ll find a way to turn on a light