#my words
hey friends, i’m deleting my poetry from my tumblr - i don’t use this anymore and i want to have a little more control over my work because i’d love to publish one day. you can find me over at my portfolio where i’ll be posting my art, writing, and dance work!
I’m all brute force and sheer willpower.
I wrote the following six years ago when I was 15, my dad was abusive and my mom ignored it I just found it in an old notebook. A child should never feel this much pain and fear. Someday I hope I can make this little girl proud.
Yellow Oak Tree:
The sun is hot and burning
The earth is cruel and harming
Fear surrounds the innocent
Can nothing be saved?
But as I lay beneath you shade a cloak of serenity cascades around me
I am safe
Under the yellow oak tree
Free from judgement
Protected from ridicule
Safe from death
Under the yellow oak tree.
All I want to do is close my eyes and when I open them be somewhere far away from where I am right now, where no one knows me but everyone wants to, and I a chance to finally be something.
I can be mean to myself
Like I’m mean to everybody else
At least no one can say I’m not fair
It’s a messy life but we only get one
And I’m trying my best
To do it right
I keep wanting to live my life in the past while everyone else is heading towards the future.
All the while I miss out on the goods things I have right in front of me in the present.
She never came back
The girl I was before he broke me
I waited and waited
I hoped and I prayed
Her light left one evening
And the darkness stayed
༄
Wether it’s the hope of love
The grief of love
The lesson of love
Or the regret of love
Once you have loved
It always remains
༄
You said you wanted all of me
So here I am
Darkness
Melancholy
Rage
Why are you walking away?
༄
I have very little hope left
My prayers are barely a whisper
༄
You know what you’ve done
But to say it out loud
Is too brutal a reality
It would be suicide by honesty
And you are such a coward
༄
I remember a time when
I thought he would change
When I thought that my love
Would take his anger away
What a dangerous choice
I was willing to make
To sacrifice myself for a man
Who could never be saved
༄
When I look back at my life
I only recognize it for a moment
And then it’s gone
༄
I am so tired
It doesn’t matter how much I sleep
The sadness and worry
Are too heavy for me
And everytime I put them down
To breathe a sigh of relief
I hear the sound of fear and anger
Begin to slowly creep
༄
I remember his hands
The way they held me so tightly
The way they let me go
༄
The desire
To be desired
Is a foolish wish
༄
You are the only one who knows
My silence means
I have so much to say
You listen to me
When I dont say a word
༄
Poetry is my lover
She always let’s me in
To cry
To listen
To confess all my sins
She found me voiceless
Wishing my tears were diamonds
So that I could buy back some time
Her poems come out of my heart
My eyes
My mind
She is so soft
And she never leaves
Thank you
My sweet lover
Poetry
༄
A woman like me
Wants to be kept and set free simultaneously
A woman like me
Desires to be cared for all the while being all that she needs
A woman like me
Should keep her opinions to herself
Don’t speak
A woman like me
Moon faced but anguished with uncertainty
“The girl of their dreams”
A woman like me
Until it’s my piercing red eyes and deathly screams
A woman like me
Is never fully understood or known
A woman like me
Is better off alone
༄
Was this earth not created through chaos?
Our universe makes love with the clash
Creation is the child of collision
A galaxy of grief
Atom + Eve
Here because God simply said
BE
༄
