#poetselixer

under pressure

the sky had never seemed more distant and more welcoming

I tore my elbows open on the cracked ground

I laid my head by the metal-link fence and felt the cold brand my cheek

through the diamonds I watched them say goodbye

pressed against the ground I wanted

I wanted some helicopter to fling me down a line

and pull me off this earth

I was tired, goddamm tired, of being scared and bloody

come on! lower down! bring me up!

but I could never say the words or feel them but as molten weights

instead I curled up on the crushed weeds and waited for the blood to dry

to scratch off the flakes and walk

I walked to the end of the chainlink fence and could I go any further?

up above there was only darkness

and that had to hide whatever scream I have

winter blues

freckles of snow

anchor craves my skin

caught in this world and below

(we grew up near the ocean)

goodbye mother, goodbye father

rust of kin

music we small ones do not hear only the echoes, the thin wailing  our ears too delicate  sometimes we swim in infinite waters,  reach out and hope for life above us

we, so small, the deep the blue the humpback  so large, a shadow our smallness

crushed under the fathoms-weight smaller and smaller we miss the music we never hear, never hold not alive anymore 

we would die  before we hear