#pro snape
snape has no obligation to be nice to his childhood bullies especially sirius black who literally tried to MURDER HIM
Snape: Headmaster, I think holding the Second Task in the lake where we can’t keep track of Potter might have been a bad idea
Dumbledore: Ha ha sharkhead Krum go blub blub
turns out if snape truly wanted to out remus out of spite and malice he would’ve done it when they were on opposite sides of a war and had absolutely every reason to, and not only when lupin endangered the students that as it happens snape had been trying to protect throughout the books all along huh
mcgonagall:what are you doing friday night?
snape:just the usual. stand outside the 7-Eleven and look depressed until someone offers to buy me beer.
dumbledore: and remember kids: don’t die.
snape: great pep talk, albus. i used to love dying but that speech really turned me around.
*harry and draco sitting in jail together*
harry:so who should we call?
draco:i’d call snape, but i feel safer in jail
sirius: did you get my flowers?
snape:yes. “sorry i tried to kill you on multiple occasions.” probably not a card the florist gets to write everyday.
lupin: let’s bury the hatchet, severus.
snape:no, i will not be burying any hatchet. unless i get a clear shot to your groin!
snape: i know what you’re up to. i know everything.
harry: then what number am i thinking of?
snape: treacle tart.
harry:wow.
snape: i have no friends
lockhart: then what am i to you?
snape: a headache
snape:*trying to wake up fred* don’t make me get the water bucket.
fred:you wouldn’t.
george:*walking past dripping wet* yes, he would.
snape:could you please stop insulting remus? his life is pathetic enough without you.
snape, to lupin: don’t say i never defend you.
lupin:can i say you never defend me well?
*snape getting on the same bus as draco, pansy and blaise*
blaise: bloody hell!
pansy:what do we do?!
draco:relax, guys. it’s the weekend. he has no authority over us at the weekend. he has no right to question us, and if he tries to, i’ll tell him as much!
snape: good morning.
draco, pansy and blaise: morning, professor snape.
snape: what takes you to london?
pansy and blaise: [looking at draco]
draco, mumbling: i’m not really sure that’s-
snape: speak up.
draco: i’m not really sure that that’s any of your b-business.
snape:
snape: i’m going to assume that was an i’ll-judged attempt at humour, mr malfoy.
draco, whispering:yes.
snape: now, answer the question.
draco: we’re going to the museum.
snape: which museum?
pansy: the british museum.
snape: what for?
blaise: a project. a history project.
snape: what about?
draco:britain?
snape:hmm.
pansy: will you be sitting with us, professor snape?
snape: of course, you’re just such wonderful company, kids, what with your stimulating conversations and razor sharp wit.
draco, perking up:really!
snape:no.
snape: he thinks that i owe him an apology…
snape: good thing he doesn’t get paid for thinking
snape:what do you want from me?
harry:the truth!
snape:don’t be unreasonable.
eileen to sev and lily: you guys are being very well behaved tonight.
eileen:
eileen: what did you do?
dumbledore: you don’t have a plan?
snape:no.
snape: my plan was just to disagree with your plan.
GUYS there might be a harry potter prequel based on severus snape
