#snape fandom
Snape: Dumbledore won’t let me quit :/
McGonagall:I thought you needed this job?
Snape: I need a job. I should’ve just taken up the opportunity to become this guy’s butler. That’s only one child and he can barely speak yet.
Snack when Sirius catches feeling first:
Hey do you like Snape? Me too!
Do you think Snape cares about the environment?? I do!
Doyou care about the environment? Great!
Now that that is sorted could you do me a massive favour and participate in her survey about perceptions of environmental impacts for her university dissertation?
(Link below )
https://href.li/?https://uclan.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0eyqZeCZ0QhXMW2
Please read all information and instructions carefully
Thanks
Lupin:Will you go out with me?
Snape:Nah.
Lupin:I have a good heart.
Snape:I don’t need a transplant.
Snape:Yeah I’ll probably die alone.
Waiter:No Sir I said “will you be diningalone”.
Snape:Oh…
Lucius:DO NOT TOUCH ME!
Snape: It’s just me calm down.
Lucius:Oh, I’m sorry Severus, you know what I’m like when I comes to clothes.
Lucius:Remember that time I pushed a toddler infront of a hippogriff because he was standing on my Topshop voucher?
Snape:Yes, I believe that poor Draco still has the scar.
Snape:(Rambling on about lacewing flies)
Remus:*affectionately* You’re kinda weird, you know that?
Snape:I like being weird. Weirds all I’ve got.
…
Snape:That, and my sweet style.
Remus:True. All that black is iconic.
Harry Potter: How do you want to be remembered?
Hermione Granger: If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would you meet?
Ron Weasley: What ice-cream flavours do you love/hate?
Hagrid: If you could breed two totally different animals together, what new animal would you create?
Dumbledore: What is your most treasured possession?
Voldemort: On the first day of ruling the world, what would you do?
Fred Weasley: If you were told you only had one week left to live, what would you do?
George Weasley: If you could read minds, whose would you want to read?
Draco Malfoy: Do you like yourself?
Ginny Weasley: What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
Neville Longbottom: What’s your fondest memory?
Luna Lovegood: What are your favorite lyrics?
Severus Snape: Of all your pet-peeves, which is the strangest?
Remus Lupin: What is your greatest fear?
James Potter: If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be?
Lily Potter: Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
Sirius Black: What are your views on sex?
Tonks: if you could be anyone else for a day, fictional or non-fictional who would you be any why?
McGonagall: What do you believe I am thinking right now?
Bellatrix: three words would others probably use to describe you?
Lucius Malfoy: Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
Molly Weasley: What do you define as a family?
Arthur Weasley: If you could have any career possible, what would it be?
Peter Pettigrew: If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?
Umbridge: If you could choose, how would you want to die?
Colin Creevey: Who inspires you?
Dean Thomas: Are you generally organised or messy?
Seamus Finnigan: What makes you laugh?
Dudley Dursley: Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
Vernon Dursley: Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Petunia Dursley: How close are you to your family?
Victor Krum: What is your favorite form of exercise?
Dobby: Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I know these are kinda old but I’m bored and procrastinating when I should really be reading up on criminal trials so send me some asks if you want to know some random shit about me
Snape:I don’t like people
Lily:Well, that’s not fair, Sev. Have you met all of them?
Snape: I’ve met enough of them … people … what a bunch of bastards
Jesus Christ self-isolating is boring I need a holiday from my family
Stay safe. Stay home.
Snape:The headmaster is dead.
Snape:Now …
(Anytime he sees that he has a class with Gryffindors coming up)
Snape:
(Bursting through the doors late to an Order meeting looking like death warmed over)
Snape:Sorry I’m late.
Sirius:You look like awful, I mean more awful than you usually look, which is quite an accomplishment.
Lupin:How much sleep did you get?
Snape:8
Lupin:What hours?
Snape:… minutes
McGonagall:I heard that you had another run in with Remus again. What has he done to piss you off this time?
Snape:Oh nothing. I’m fine. I was just being dramatic. It’s what I do.
Hermione:Okay so I just logged on the the Cloud as Professor Snape and clicked ‘forgotten password’ and answered his security questions.
Hermione:First up: What is God?
It’s a national lockdown, I’m self-isolating, it’s the weekend, and I have nothing to do … so probs gonna spam this account
poppy: you appear courageous but your vital signs betray a heightened state of anxiety.
snape: or as i like to call it, tuesday
voldemort: lucius, you’ll work with narcissa and severus.
lucius: alright! my fantasy threesome!
everyone else: *blanks stares*
lucius: …of people on a team.
snape: you know what they say. where there’s smoke there’s fire.
mcgonagall: and you.
snape: [pushing on a door very clearly labelled pull]
lily: [filming] push harder!