I wanted to meet Mr. Lockhart so much as he’ll be signing his books in Flourish and Blotts after few days but I don’t think I’ll be able to come back then. Some people in the bookshop told me about all the great heroic stuff he’s done. Maybe I’ll get to meet him at Hogwarts if he’s this famous.
I’m back to Starkid, so, I’ve watched “A Very Potter Senior Year and my very first reaction was: “That’s real Luna!” – meaning that it’s an actress who played Luna in the movies. That was cool. The plot is basically (mostly) based on the second book – “The Chamber of Secrets”, just Tom is showing Ginny through the diary… oh, sorry, journal flashbacks, which Dumbledore was showing Harry in the sixth book. We get to know why Tom’s always dancing – Dumbledore taught him. By the way, his dancing philosophy reminded me of something: “When the world sucks, just dance!” = “If your hands are shaking, make them jazz hands!” (From “The Prom”) Harry hearing the Basilisk – “Snake” was very funny! It was probably one of the best jokes, actually. I also liked, how Draco tries to remind Harry that they are friends and started retelling their school years – so, we get to know, that in the third year they actually got to Pigfarts and there were “singing, dancing and clean jokes”. Lockhart was also interesting – in this interpretation, he didn’t steal somebody’s deeds, but he steals muggle books and sells them in the magic world. (Spoilers!) He also made Hermione (who was in love with him and was writing explicit smut fanfiction based on his books) write him about Harry’s adventures, “fixed” it and wrote the original “Harry Potter” books that way. He was going to sell them in the muggle world. Harry, by the way, also had problems with Lockhart, because he was stealing his fame, so Harry tried to become popular again, but the only thing he did for it – broke up with Ginny. When the Chamber was open, he was accused of opening it – Lockhart said, that Potter decided to create a mystery for himself to solve it and restore popularity. By the way, there was an unexpected Death Note reference (that to see Tom, you have to touch the journal) – this stuff is pursuing me. Well, getting back to the plot – when all this Chamber stuff got intense Harry decided to leave, because he was under too much stress and pressure. He went to the Godric’s Hollow, opened the lucky snitch, found the resurrection stone inside it and talked to his parents, to Sirius and Remus. And to Cedric. Oh my god, Cedric Diggory and Lily – officially the weirdest stuff I’ve ever seen in my life. Cedric and Lily are married in heaven. Harry also talked to Severus. Well, of course, then Ron brought him back to school, they fought the Basilisk and won. Everybody’s happy, the only victim in Scarfy (rest in peace), Ron proposes to Hermione and she says yes. The last scene, platform 9¾, Harry sends his son – Albus Scarfy to Hogwarts and that’s okay, but you know whom do we see next. Quirrell and Voldemort together (as at the end of the very first musical) sending their daughter to school. Oh good Lord in Hell, I cried and they did everything to make me – they made the girl call them “daddies”, they made Voldemort give a speech about found family and love and they made Quirrell say “Okay is wonderful!”. I’m super dead.
Kenneth Branagh as professor Gilderoy Lockhart in a never-before-seen before photoshoot from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Entertainment Weekly.
Snape is the kind of character that knows every single mushroom fact under the sky and will tell you about all of them. and in the next sentence not be able to tell you the name of britains capital.
This is even funnier bc I’m 99.9% sure that Severus both went to school with Gilderoy AND taught him when he became a professor, so that he just completely forgot him is HILARIOUS.
We LOVE oblivious AND forgetful Snape so much! I could write an entire essay about how amazing this is (it’s one of my fav tropes while reading any fic with Severus).
Snape (completely serious): what the f*ck is a gilderoy lockhart?
gilderoy lockhart.order of merlin, third class, honorary member of the dark force defence league and five-time winner of witch weekly’s most-charming-smile award. (happy birthday @engorgio)
Hi my name is Gilderoy Lockhart and I have wavy golden hair(that’s how I got my name) with sparkles and curls that cover my forehead and sparkling blue eyes like forget-me-nots and a lot of people tell me I look like Kenneth Branagh (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Stede Bonnet but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m British but my teeth are straight and white. I have flawless tan skin. I’m also a wizard, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher (I’m forty-two). I’m a fop(in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly pastels. I love Madame Malkin’s Robes for all Associations and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a golden waistcoat with matching lace around it and tight golden pants, golden cape and golden pointy shoes. I was wearing pink lipstick, bronzer, mascara and peach eyeshadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very sad about. Professor Snape stared at me. I winked roguishly at him.
