AU where Bitty owns a bakery and never played hockey at Samwell, but he REFUSES to sell any goods to anyone on the Providence Falconers/any hockey team as a promise to his friends on SMH, all of whom root for different teams
However, since Bitty doesn’t personally watch hockey and actively avoids it, he doesn’t think it’ll be a problem and just jokes about it to Jack, the cute Canadian guy who he’s pretty sure is a sports photographer
Jack then awkwardly laughs, but spends his visits trying to make sure Bitty doesn’t figure out he’s one of the star forwards for the local NHL team
It gets worse by the fact that Bitty highkey does NOT recognize a single player except for people not on the Falcs and the somewhat nearby teams, so Jack keeps accidentally introducing Bitty to hockey players and they keep buying stuff
Snowy follows Jack to the bakery one day and just goes ‘Oh chill’ and Bitty thinks that he’s Jack’s art friend
Tater follows Jack once and Jack steps on his foot every time he tries to say his name is ‘Tater’ (since Ransom loves him), but Bitty thinks that Tater is just a Russian dude who works at the same magazine place Jack does
Georgia hears about it and Jack tags along one day, but Bitty recognizes Georgia as a past hockey player and just jokes with her “I’m glad y'all didn’t bring your team with you!” and Georgia makes direct eye contact with Jack
Kent tries going in once (while Jack was chatting with Bitty) and before he can even get a word out, Bitty shuts down the register, closes the displays, grabs the broom and tells Kent he’s not welcome here
Kent tries to argue, but Bitty’s like “No NHL players in my establisment!!” And Kent tries pointing at Jack, but Bitty’s swatting him with the broom to get out
One day Bad Bob and Alicia have a surprise visit, but Alicia has to make a phone call and so Bob goes in first and Bitty goes “Oh hi Mr. Jack’s Dad! It’s so nice to meet you!” And he recognize the blond baker that Jack’s been telling him and Alicia about for the past few days
Bob: I’m so glad my son found such a good *friend* (gives a look at Bitty) especially with his job
Bitty: Oh really?
Bob: Yeah, I remember how hard it was for me before I met Alicia! All the fame and stuff really made it difficult
Bitty: Oh! You’re famous??
Bob: I mean, kinda?
Bitty: Oh wow! I didn’t know Jack got his photography talent from his dad!
Bob:What-
Bitty: Where can I see y'all’s work? Jack keeps it a secret, but I wanna know your’s at least!
Bob:UM-
When Alicia walks in, Bitty freaks out, and asks for a photograph since “I didn’t even realize you were in the area!” While Alicia is looking at Bob with the most ??? Face imaginable
Bob then has to pretend that he’s not MARRIED to Alicia for the duration of their visit since Bitty can’t make the connection with them to hockey or else Jack’s cover is blown
(Bob keeps flirting with Alicia and Bitty keeps smacking him in the arm since “She has a husband y'know!!”)
So it works because Bitty tried to start small talk with the hot French Canadian guy who visits his bakery, but gets nervous every time, so he never really can say anything at first. The guy is always a bit curt and quick about his business, and holds his camera like a lifeline sometimes, so Bitty makes sure not to make him uncomfortable, but is interested in him for sure.
But then towards the end of one day, Halo gets put on and Bitty starts singing along while cleaning up the bakery. Bitty turns and accidentally makes direct eye contact with Jack, who was the only person there still, who has his cup halfway to his mouth and an amused look on his face.
Bitty is obviously embarrassed, but then Jack is like “I guess you like this song, huh?” and Bitty goes “Of course I love this song, who doesn’t like Beyoncé?” and Jack goes, “Beyoncé? Is she well known then?”
Dead silence.
Bitty just drops the broom he was holding. Jack looks concerned. Bitty looks horrified.
“Hun, how do you not know Beyoncé? HOW??”
Jack just looks away and is embarrassed and tells Bitty he’s been pretty “caught up in my job, travelling and stuff” and hasn’t had the time to really know pop culture. Plus, he’s French Canadian.
Bitty then immediately starts to chat with Jack about different artists and pop culture in general, and learns that Jack genuinely just knows none of it. Nothing. Jack has no reference point, he only knows country music. Out of everything. Country. Music.
Bitty then declares that Jack has to let him teach him pop culture if he wants to keep coming to his bakery because “I will not let a single person into this establishment if they don’t know BEYONCÉ!” Bitty is worried he took that too far but then Jack laughs (and it’s a wonderful sound that Bitty unashamedly tucks into his memory) and agrees. As Jack leaves, Bitty just watches him go, realizes the first conversation he had with the hot guy was about him not knowing pop culture and berating him for 15 minutes, and Bitty justs slams his head into the table
I don’t often share that kind of stuff, but the shelter that saved my dog Stark in Romania is calling for help: they don’t have any food left for the many puppies they are rescuing these days, with many sick, and their only hope is this collect.
It’s a small shelter so they don’t have much visibility, but please if you can help, or just share? Without them Stark would still be in the streets or, more probably, dead right now. And all of these puppies deserve a chance to live long enough to meet their own forever home.
Have a picture of my dog puppy eyes as an incentive
the only interview jack ever does about his anxiety/past addiction is a “kids meet a person with anxiety” youtube video where he explains it to various kiddos aged 5 to 14 and is met with incredible compassion, never-ending curiosity, and ridiculous questions.
kid 1: d’you have anxiety right now?
jack, smiling: yeah, a bit
kid 1: *GASP*
*
kid 2 (not fully getting the point): are ya scared o’ heights?
jack: no
kid 2: are ya scared o’ planes?
jack: no
kid 2: are ya scared o’ birds?
jack: birds?
kid 2: I’mscared o’ birds.
jack: why?
kid 2: they got weird snake eyes like the snake in the movies when at night they’re in the windows
jack: yeah that’s scary. are you scared sometimes that a bird will come close even if there are no birds around?
kid 2: yeah!
jack: that’s like anxiety! your brain tells you to watch out for mean birds all the time, even though there aren’t any around, and birds wouldn’t hurt you anyway.
kid 2: okay. (pause) are ya scared o’ bugs?
jack: ha, I’ll tell you a secret, I am, a bit. but my boyfriend usually takes them out for me.
so i just finished watching the extended editions of the trilogy which is nearly 13 hrs long and this meme is correctsomehow. this is the only line legolas speaks to frodo in the entire series. the only other debatable line is a scene in fellowship where legolas is speaking to gimli but frodo just happens to be near them and he’s cut to for a reaction shot. i wouldn’t really count it though since it wasnt directed at him.
someone already posted this but the kicker is at the end of return of the king where frodo sees the fellowship again and calls out to everyone by name except for legolas lmaooo
Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job
Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity
Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina
Jumps. JUMPS.
Miles frantically googling “How high can normal people jump??? How high can ballerinas jump?????? I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to jump straight up to the ceiling and also I keep getting stuck up there please help”
Once Mile’s spider sense pinged lightly about a balcony set and he told the crew master he had a bad feeling about it. The balcony collapsed later. No one was hurt, but now Miles has to go over sets and pronounce them clear of ‘bad feelings’
He’s not even good enough to be in shows yet, but nothing goes out without his seal of approval
honestly I have known so many stage managers and props department people who are Exactly This Superstitious. (And hell, in this case they’re not even wrong he literally has magic danger powers)
I’ve also known a few dancers, and without exception the reaction to finding out this boy can effortlessly hold them in a single arm lift or YEET them dozens of feet in the air (And catch them after!) would be PURE GLEE.
“Okay, Glynda, look, we all know he’s Spiderman. Kid’s terrible at hiding it. But imagine this. None of us tell him we know and none of us tell him how high ballerinas can really throw their partners. And each class we just keep on pretending like we’re impressed with how fast he’s improving but, y'know, he’s still got further to go.”
“Uhuh, yeah, I see that look in your eyes Glynda. You know exactly where I’m going with this. How high do you think Spiderman can throw you?”
“Okay, Glynda, stop giggling, the giggling is creepy. Dessie, please make her stop giggling.”
This is wonderful
One day, in the middle of ballet class, there was a robbery going on a block away, so of courseMiles’ gotta rush over there to help out. He grabs his mask, but doesn’t have time to put on his whole suit because he said he was going to the bathroom and it’s be weird if he was gone for so long.
Cue Spider-Man kicking ass in pink ballet shoes and leggings.
This actually increased his popularity severely, and lots of people suddenly gained the interest in ballet; boys too, because if someone as cool as Spider-Man does it, everyone can do it.
When he’s back the instructors don’t comment on the rip in his shirt, the dirt on his shoes, or the smear of paint on his leggings. They make sure to treat the class afterwards. After all, it’s not every day that Spider-Man stops a bunch of bankrobbers and manages to do a high pirouette withoutcrashing through the ceiling this time!
This keeps getting better!
Someone: *Attempts to comment on how weird it is that Miles can throw Glenda high enough she can touch the roof with her palm*
The Stage Manager:
Ballet companies starting rumours that Spiderman doesn’t actually has super powers, he’s just classically trained
You too could scale buildings if you would just practice regularly and focus on your core
okay TELL ME SOME OF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS VIDEO PLEASE NOT THE “HATECRIMED HIS ENTIRE FAMILY TO DEATH AND THEN WE SEXUALIZE HIS SADNESS“
Holy crap.
This is the most accurate breakdown of Teen Wolf I’ve ever seen. Also Hilarious.
“YOU FUCKED UP A PERFECTLY GOOD HIMBO. LOOK AT HIM, HE’S GOT PTSD.”
That’s it that’s the show.
#… I did not know this was a movie remake?#however many years in the fandom and this was NEVER mentioned? ~ @smallercommand
Honestly I thought we all just knew. It was mentioned a lot in the early cast interviews/behind the scenes videos, and I reblogged a ton of those back in season 1 when the show first hit my dash.
☆ what to read next if you loved the house in the cerulean sea! ☆
if you… loved the magical setting
•magyk (septimus heap #1) by angie sage. the better, funnier, unproblematic-er harry potter, with an amazing setting and amazing and SO lovable characters
•inkheart (inkworld #1) by cornelia funke. one of my favorite magical settings of all times. also the plot is basically THE dream of all readers aka: what happens when the real world and the world of a book collide? but make it BAD
if you… loved the vibes
•the starless sea by erin morgenstern. do you love ghibli vibes?? do you wish you could permanently live in a bakery next to the ocean??? then fear no more, because this book is the one for you!
if you… are aching for more soft and yearning gays
•novae by kaiju. it’s a comic but its so. it’s so. GOOD. also sun and moon and star dynamics + amazing art + fantastic historical settings… what more do we need!
•check, please! by ngozi uzaku. YES this is another comic YES I am biased bc mr jack laurent zimmermann is my favorite hockey bro ever. and what about it.
if you… want to meet more weird children
•the emerald atlas by john stephens. vibes similar to a series of unfortunate events but with an actual happy ending!!! and caring adults!!!!! we love to see it
that’s all I can think about rn!!! happy reading friends!
I fucking love how Our Flag Means death has explicit, unabashed queer romance and character but ALSO has wall-to-wall metaphors and symbolism. We can have the kiss but we can ALSO read into the colors of wardrobes and whether a character wears gloves or not. We can read into the metaphor of Stede’s secret closet and letting Ed in, and ALSO have a fully fleshed-out storyline about a gay man in a loveless marriage telling his wife “his name is Ed.” We have the red silk scene in the moonlight, of gently handling a bit of cloth to represent a heart, and we have “what makes Ed happy is…you.”
We get all the subtle details of brief touches and meaningful glances, but not instead of explicit queerness—it’s that the unabashedly queer characters and story deserve that level of build-up and poetry.
