#queen charlotte

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Read part 1 here,part 2here!,part 3here!,part 4here! (This is the last chapter) 

Summary: When a proposal has been offered, will you accept or forever keep your doubts? Can love truly conquer all?

“Marry me.”

You stumbled a bit backwards, letting your hand slide out of his. His request floating around your mind in little fragments. Fragments that had not yet been pieced together. Shivering out a breath, moved you, your hand towards your chest. How could he so easily decide the future when you were still yet uncertain about the present. The damage that has been done was not something to take lightly. Being personally cast out by the queen herself had consequents. If this meant you were out of the season for the rest of your live, you could never accept his hand in marriage. You wouldn’t wish a life of cruelty upon him. 

Not on the man you love. Not even for a snippet of happiness. – “I…I…” – stuttered you out, afraid to look him in the eye. Benedict kept looking hopeful at you, keeping his warm smile up. He was starstruck for even seeing the possible dangers ahead. – “I…I…” – your gaze went up towards your father. He was smiling, perhaps a pure smile you had barely seen. Not a hint of miscommunication in it, simple but pure honesty. For the first times in forever had he been happy, content with you. You didn’t want to take that from him.

Then you adverted your gaze to Benedict’s brothers. Against all odds were they standing right here. By your side. Taking your side. No one had done that ever. It was unfair to them for what you had in mind. Your mind was chaos, every horrifying end tormenting you. How could you accept despite it all. This wasn’t a simple answer of yes or no, this was more than that. Reputations were at stake, reputations you didn’t want to shatter. You never did. If accepting meant dragging Benedict and his family alongside with you, you preferred to suffer alone. As you always have, for alone is all one person can have. Alone protects you. 

It protects those you love, leaving the suffering to you. Taking away their pain as you had endured so much pain it became bearable. You started to slightly shake your head, pressing your lips together, feeling the tears emerge. – “I…I can’t.” – whispered you out, taking another step back. Benedict exhaled shocked, his knees going wobbly as he felt himself being dragged under. Colin ran up to his brother, holding him up by the shoulder. – “I’ve got you brother.” – said he, making sure Benedict stand up straight. – “I am sorry…” – sobbed you out, allowing some tears to roll down your cheek.

Your father ran up to you, shocked by your revelation. – “Y/n, my darling.” – called he out, staring baffled at you. Benedict found a bit of his strength back, patting Colin on his chest that he was alright. Colin carefully let go of his brother, keeping a close eye on him. – “Why?” – asked Benedict, taking a step closer to you. You sniffed loud, turning slightly towards him again. – “Why? You know why?” -  told you him, your lip trembling from the sudden strong emotions. Benedict shook his head with a bite of his lip. – “Not good enough.” – answered he, shrugging his shoulders a bit. You exhaled sharp, taken by his determination.

Why was he so stubborn. – “Why, Y/n?” – he asked again, pounding his fist down in the air. You shook your head, not wanting to have this conversation by the palace. You turned around, walking away from him with your father by your side. Benedict wasn’t ready to let you off so easily. He knew his love was not one-sided. He had seen the emotions inside of you. He had seen the longing, the desire. He had seen it because he saw it within himself. He hated that despite it all you were still trying to protect him. Even when he told you numerous times not to. All he ever wanted was to love you, be by your side and support you no matter what.

“In sickness and in health, is that not a requirement?” – shouted he at you, ready to defend himself. – “I know you are afraid Y/n, I am too, but that doesn’t give away the fact that I…I…” – Benedict felt his hands tremble as he came to a stop. He felt like his emotions were steering him. He felt all control over himself slip away. The fight lust inside of him so grand, it made him go towards every length to keep you close. – “Benedict please…” – said you, wiping some tears away. 

“How many more times must I proclaim myself? You are all that matters to me, nothing more. I want you, I … I love you.” – confessed he, making you abruptly stop. – “I love you with all my heart and it pains me… it pains me to see that you are not willing to give it a chance, us a chance.” – Benedict started to slowly approach you as you had stopped moving. His words casting a spell on you that kept you in place. – “I beg of you…” – you breathed in shivers, feeling his hands slide up the back of your arms. His sudden touch captivating you. – “I have lost myself in you.” – whispered he out, breathing against your neck.

You turned around sharply with tears in your eyes. – “I’m scared…” – exclaimed you. – “I am afraid that I might be the cause of all your pain. I do not wish that upon you. I love you… and the fact that I love you is why I must protect you.” – cried you out. Benedict moved his trembling hand towards your cheek, letting it rest there. – “I’m scared that all has been for nothing. That I can’t be the loving wife you require, that I cannot give you what you desire, that I cast my shadow upon you. I have seen it.” – you gave Benedict a slight push against his chest. 

“I have seen what my condition does to people.” – you moved your head slightly to the side, seeing your father stare shameful at the ground. He knew you were speaking of him. Of all the deeds he had done towards you. – “I have seen it change them. Change them so much they are afraid to look at me. Benedict, I don’t want you to stop looking at me.” – tears were streaming ruthlessly down your cheek, clouding your vision. Benedict curled up a tiny smile. – “I shall never.” – whispered he to you. – “You don’t know that…” – answered you back. Benedict inhaled deeply, looking up to the blank night sky for a moment.

“I am telling you… right here that I love you Y/n. All of you.” – spoke he out, gazing back at you. With his palm against your cheek, wiped he some tears away. – “Don’t be afraid my love… It is time to let go of your fears…” – you shuddered, closing your eyes for a moment. – “Do not let society decide for you, do not let it lead your life. For I shall stand by your side no matter what. If the queen forbids you from the season, let her be… for I have already found who I wish to marry.” – slowly opening your eyes again, stared you in his hopeful eyes.

You loved his sense of hope when you could not. – “Y/n, I ask you again… will you accept my hand in marriage for I will love you entirely.” – He rose your hand up, holding it gently in his hand. Everyone was waiting in anticipation for you to speak. Benedict inhaling deeply as his chest rose with the tension building up inside of him. You could not deny your doubts and fears, but perhaps you simply had to take that leap. For how else were you going to discover what laid at the bottom of the cliff. For love is scary, allowing oneself to fully let go to experience it’s deepness. Love was a burning flame, bursting with light with one single touch.

You curled up a smile, slowly nodding. – “With all my heart.” – whispered you out, finally letting go of your fears. A smile spread across his lips, unable to contain himself. Benedict moved his hands around your back, lifting your body a bit up. Inhaling sharply, pressed he his lips against yours. That simple touch that made you reborn. Become a whole new person. Moving your hands to his jawline, tilted you your head to kiss him from a different angle. Love was indeed a burning flame that you felt inside of you. Why did you ever doubt him. It finally was clear to you that he loved you, all of you. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore for you had each other. You didn’t have to be alone anymore, for love has found its way to you. Granting you with the upmost caring gentleman one could ever give. Benedict Bridgerton, your artist, your protector, your friend, your husband.

Anthony cleared his throat, breaking Benedict, and you apart. – “How this is all very warmly, I do have to remind you that we are in public.” – informed Anthony with a shy smile on his face. Benedict and you took a step apart from each other. Gazing with deep affection to one another. – “Y/n darling, we must get home… I do not wish to be handled like that again.” – your father was right. It was wrong to stand here as she had casted you out so easily. – “We must head back inside for our dearest sister and mother.” – pointed Colin out, looking a bit over his shoulder. Benedict took your hand, leaving a caring kiss on top of it. Smiling at him, watched you him step back, letting your hand slowly slip out of his till it hung beside your body again. 

Father took you by the arm, leading you towards the carriage. The two of you got inside as you sat by your fathers side. He threw his arm around you as you came laying against his chest. – “I hope you can forgive me… I cannot give any excuses for my behavior, and I will not for I have committed a crime. I do hope you can forgive your dear old papa for his blind eye.” – he threw his other arm around you as well, pulling you closer to him. – “From now on, I shall always be there for you. In sickness and in health, for I do not wish to lose you.” – He turned his head, kissing the top of your head.

A sudden crack of wood made you fly up in the carriage. Landing firmly back onto the seats as one part of the carriage had been send down. – “Father what is going on?” – called you out anxiously as the carriage came to a sudden stop. He held his finger to his lips, telling you to be quiet. Outside heard you loud voices. Father looked frightened at you, his face turning pale. – “Whatever you hear… stay here!” – demanded he, gripping tight onto your hand. – “Father!” – whispered you out in panic, seeing him take his leave. You moved over to the door, keeping your head out of sight. 

You tried to listen in to the sudden voices as it sounded that they were with many. – “Good sirs…” – heard you, your father say with his hands up. You gasped in shock, covering up your mouth when you witness your father being punched in the stomach. He stumbled to the ground in pain. You wanted to jump out of the carriage and assist your father in any way. You heard loud laughter, seeing him get kicked in the stomach while he was crawling in pain on the ground. Your hands were trembling with fear. If your father was unable to defend you, what might they do to you once they find you.

A reflection of light marched into the dark as it made you widen your eyes. Torches. They were carrying torches and they were marching… marching up to the carriage. Your father knew what they were going to do as well, grabbing a hold of one’s ankle. – “Stop! My daughter is in there… please…” – begged he out, receiving another kick. He groaned in out in pain, rolling over to the side. A man held his hand out, demanding to be given a torch. – “No… please… stop…” – called your father out in pain, feeling every bone in his body hurt. – “You shouldn’t have brought her to the palace.” – said the man holding the torch, leaning down to your fathers face. 

“No… I beg of you… my daughter is innocent.” – pleaded your father with them, trying to get back up to his feet. – “We’ve all heard the rumors!” – shouted he loud, roaring up his crowd. – “Your daughter is a stain to our society, and we don’t want her kind here!” – his men cheered loud as he threw his hand up. – “No!” – father screamed in pain, locking eyes with you in the carriage. You were terrified, unable to move as you heard them approach. They started banging on the carriage to scare you. You were being shaken around, crying in terror. – “Get… away… from my daughter!” – called your father out between clenched teeth, pushing himself to get up.

With his hand against his stomach, limped he over. Desperate to protect you till his very last breath. – “Father!” – cried you out, wanting to get out but someone was holding the door firmly. Father groaned loud, waving his fist around. He received a blow against his nose, sending him down. – “No!” – screamed you out, trying to get out of the carriage. They just walked over him like he was nothing. – “Let me out!” – yelled you out, wiping your tears aggressively away. You saw the burning torch come closer, hearing the crackling sounds from crisping wood. Screaming in agony, were you jamming hard against the door that would not budge. 

“We have endured you long enough!” – shouted one of the men at you. Feeling the last bit of strength slip away, felt you lost. How could this be the end when it hasn’t even begun yet. You were going to marry the man you love. Grow old with him and share so many adventures. The torch was so close to the carriage now that it only took a good connection for the carriage to catch fire. You gasped, hearing horses neigh loud. At least three you could distinguish. You heard someone jump off the horse as their feet landed with a thud on the gravely road. Punches were being handed out. Hearing grunts of pain and anger.

You dared to pop your head out of the window, widening your eyes at your rescuers. – “Benedict!” – screamed you out loud. It caught him off guard for a moment, getting punched in the face. Feeling a bit wonky, collapsed Benedict almost to the ground. All men had moved away from the carriage, fighting against one of the Bridgerton brothers. It suddenly started to feel warm in the carriage as you spotted that the torch had been dropped. Laying against the broken wooden wheel, catching fire. You called it out, kicking your feet against the doorframe as it wouldn’t budge. – “Dear God!” – breathed Anthony out, seeing the carriage catch fire.

“Colin!” – shouted he out, punching a guy in the face. His boxing skills coming in handy after all. Colin nodded, pushing a man’s grip off him. He than ran over to the carriage, trying to pull the door open. He was kicking against it, pulling at it, anything for it to move. The carriage started to fill up with smoke as the ceiling started to catch fire as well. – “Colin!” – called you out, keeping yourself as low as possible. – “Come on!” – grunted Colin out, wanting the door to work with him. Benedict saw his brother struggling as well as the burning carriage. He fought off the handy man that he couldn’t shake off. With a bloody forehead, jumped he over some unconscious fallen men, aiding his brother.

“Y/n! it’s going to be alright love.” – reassured he you, pulling at the handle. – “It won’t work!” – answered Colin hastily. Benedict clenched his jaw, not ready to lose you. You were crying, laying with your head on the seat to stay as low as possible. Benedict moved his hand to the window frame, trying to see if you could fit through. – “I’m going to pull you out, my love, I promise you.” – called he out desperately, trying to break the framework of the window. It cracked since it had been weakened by the warmness of the flames. Benedict reached his arms into the carriage as you got up. You felt the intense heat above you, sticking your hands out. Benedict moved his arms tightly around you, lifting you up as he tried to pull you out through the open window. 

Colin helped pulling, pushing your body a bit up so that it could tip you over. You popped free, falling onto Benedict as he fell to the ground. From intense happiness, cried you in his arms. Telling him how much you loved him and how scared you were. Colin helped the two of you up to your feet, moving away from the burning carriage. Anthony had fought off the last man as many others had taken a run for it. He was now helping your father up to his feet. – “Your… your bleeding.” – called you out, touching his forehead briefly. It stinged but he tried to not let you see it. – “It’s nothing.” – reassured he you, taking your hand in his.

“How… how is it that you are here?” – questioned you, laying in Benedicts arms on the grass. Your head resting against his chest while he cherished you in his embrace. – “We heard them talk about their plans.” – replied Anthony out of breath. You snuggled closer to Benedict, seeking comfort. You didn’t want to say it, but it frightened you how you were still not out of the clear. It was never simple with the two of you. Always an obstacle in the way that would prevent you from loving. A cruel society, one more turning their back on you. Benedict noticed the doubts reflecting in your eyes as he tilted your chin up to him. – “Don’t go refusing me again, Y/n. My heart can’t take it.” – chuckled he out. – “I won’t… not this time.” – responded you, looking deep into his eyes. – “I am not afraid anymore.”

Eloise clamped onto her brother with a smile on her face. Trees of blossom were spreading their petals through the wind. It was a happy day for everyone as two would be reunited into one. Benedict and you were ready to say your vows. To no longer be two, but one. For one cannot stand without the other. With pride in his eyes, gazed Benedict upon your arrival. You were dressed in all white, holding onto your father’s arm. He was being supported by a cane as his body had not healed up properly yet from the incident. 

He guided you towards your intended. Eloise let go of her brother as Benedict extended his hand out to you. You let yours slip into his, walking up to him. – “Are you ready my love?“ - whispered he to you. – “You can always turn back now before you are bound to me.” – chuckled you out. – “Not a chance.” – responded he, leaving a gentle kiss against your forehead. Taking his arm, allowed you him to guide you inside. It was a small ceremony, just those close to you present. You sealed you vows with a kiss as loud cheering filled the church.

Outside hugged you everyone before your departure with your newly wedded husband. Never in a million years did you think you would call one husband. You thought no one would love you with what you carried, but one did. And one phenomenal one indeed. You couldn’t have wished for a better person to love. You finally found yourself worthy of being loved. Gregory bowed before you with a saddened face. – “Aw Gregory.” – said you, kneeling down to him. 

He threw your arms around your neck, moving your arms around him. – “I’ll miss you.” – whispered he into your ear. You moved his head back, wiping a tear of his cheek. – “I’ll miss you too dear Gregory, but I promise to invite you soon as you…” – you touched his nose with your finger brief. – “don’t forget to invite me to tea as many times as you like.” – That made him laugh between his tears. You pulled yourself back up, taking Benedicts hand. You waved everyone goodbye one last time before heading off.

The wood in the fireplace was crackling delightful. You stood before it, warming your hands up to it. Benedict approached you from behind, letting his fingers go up your arm. His face buried in the crook of your neck. There he planted a kiss. A soft kiss that made you smile. His hands slowly lowered towards your waist, leaving another kiss in your neck. He pushed some fabric aside over your shoulder to kiss it as well. You melted at his touch that send shivers up your spine. – “My dear wife.” – breathed he out, kissing your bare shoulder again. 

You turned around, laying your arms around his neck. – “My dear husband.” – replied you, staring dreamingly at him. He brought his lips down towards yours, whilst holding onto you firmly. He started guiding you away from the fireplace, his lips forever on yours. Kissing him with such longing, it made your heart beat out of your chest. You could feel the pounding of his heart against yours, beating for one another. Standing close by the bed, guided he his hands up. He unbuttoned you, dropping your dress to the floor. His hands then started to fumble the ribbon of your corset. You guided your hands down to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt.

With one smooth pull, untied he the knot at the top of your corset. You giggled against his lips at how eager he was. Benedict kept kissing you whilst trying to tear the corset off you. It slipped off as he let it drop to the ground. You carefully stepped out of it, standing only in your undergarments. Benedict’s hand laid against your back, feeling your warm skin underneath his palm. For the first time, felt he truly close to you. Feeling every bit of your core. You stopped kissing him for a moment, holding him as he guided his lips to your neck. He kept kissing you uncontrollably as your body warmed up by his touch. 

You gasped quietly at the sudden sense. It felt unsettling as you questioned it at first if it was real. Benedict stopped kissing you, placing his hand against your cheek. – “Are you alright Y/n?” – questioned he, sensing something was off. You fluttered with your eyelashes, winching at the sting of pain coming from inside of you. You bend down, gripping onto his shirt as you held your stomach. It was happening again. One of your episodes at the worst timing. A sting of pain went through your entire body, making you collapse through your knees. Benedict gasped, preventing you from falling.

You pushed him away, falling onto the ground. He stared at you in shock, hoping you wouldn’t turn him away again. You crawled back against a closet, coughing loud. Your entire body shivering from the intense pain as Benedict witnessed your condition firsthand. You kept coughing loud, unable to stop as you let your fingers slide down your throat. Wheezing were you grasping for breath. It was like your lungs were on hold, not working for a moment as you felt like suffocating. Benedict rushed to your side, kneeling beside you. – “Breath Y/n, breath!” – called he out in a state of panic. 

Your head laid back, grasping for air. You witnessed the concern in his eyes, slowly cracking him. Then gasped you loud, screaming in tears. You let your head fall forwards against Benedict’s arm, crying loud. – “Please….” – begged you him. A part of you still wanted to seclude this from him. Shield him from the pain inside of you. Your body twitched, coughing loud in your hand. Benedict was in slight shock, not knowing what to do. It was clear that he was no match for your illness. – “Please…” – begged you again, wanting him to turn a blind eye. Benedict shook his head firmly, inhaling deeply.

“I promised to love you in sickness and in health.” – replied he, letting his palm go upwards your cheek. – “What must I do?” – whispered he to you. You pointed lifelessly at the bed, unable to control your tears. Benedict carefully picked you up from the ground, leading you over to the bed. He laid you down, staring bewildered at you. You took his hand, pulling it down. You wanted him to lay beside you. So he did, laying himself carefully beside you. You rolled over to your side, pulling his hand over your body. Benedict understood what you meant, crawling closer against your body. He slid his arm underneath your body so that he could fully hold you close. 

You cried in terror, wishing for the pain to go away. The pain that made every muscle in your body sting. Benedict kept his body firmly against yours, burying his face in your hair, closing his eyes. He felt the shocks your body made against his, making him grip onto you firmer. Fearing that if he faltered, you might slip away from him. – “I love you Y/n.” – said he, kissing the back of your shoulder. He wanted you to know you are so loved, even in a state like this. He thought he would be scared and at first, he was. Laying here with you, gave him the strength to carry on. He understood that you needed him, that he needed to be the better man. If this was what a life spending with you meant. Then he would gladly spend it like this. In time he would learn to pick up any of your signals better to ease your way through it.

“I am sorry…” – said you between coughs. – “What for?” – asked he, lifting his head a bit up. – “For ruining our wedding night…” – Benedict kissed your neck gently. – “Our night is not ruined my love. I say it brought me closer to you in any way possible.” – you cracked up a tiny smile, finding some joy between your pain. – “Besides I shall have from now on every night with you. You might find me annoying one day when you wish not to sleep so tightly in my embrace.” – chuckled he out. You rolled a bit over to your back, looking up to him. – “I could never…” – whispered you to him. Benedict lowered his head, kissing your forehead as you felt so weak. – “I’ll watch over you…” – said he, making you exhale deep. You rolled back to the side, clamping onto his arms around you. Like a cocoon were you held safe in his embrace. Where nothing bad could ever touch you.

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The smell of gunpowder filled your nostrils as the smoke was curling up from your riffle. Opening your one eye again, moved you, your head a bit to the side. You wanted to see how well you had done. Opposite from you, heard you a cry, followed by arms swaying up in the air. You exhaled deep at the sound of the loud thud. A body dropping to the ground. No… a corpse. Without thinking to much of it, hurried you up to your feet. The thorns from the bush you had been hiding behind, scratching your hands. Pulling the handle back, readied you, your riffle for another run. 

It had to be quick as danger was nearby. Jumping over the bush, hurried you to rejoin your group. Dragging your boots through the puddles. You heard voices, thinking, hoping you had found your group again. Some twigs snapped underneath a heavy boot as it set you off. Your muscles squinted together, sending a wave of panic rushing through your body. You tried to hear from where the sounds came. Somewhere before emerged a man from between the trees. You gasped spotting him. He did the same. Both of you hid as quickly as you could behind a tree for coverage.

Holding your riffle in front of you, added you a bit more gunpowder to it. – “Friend or foe!” – called you out loud. You had to be absolutely sure. There was a risk it was the enemy. You had to act quick than to terminate him. If he was a friend, it would be wise not to kill him as you were already outnumbered. – “Friend!” – heard you him shout back from a distance. The soft wind picking up his voice. – “How can I be certain of that!” – shouted you back. – “State your name and division, Sir!” – You waited for an answer, your eyes scanning the scenery before you. You didn’t want to be ambushed. – “Sir Richard Davis, eleventh division under the watch of General Camberfelt!” – shouted he loud as it made you exhale relieved. – “State yours!” – carried the wind away. 

“Lord Y/n Bridgerton, ninth division under the watch of General Williams.” – answered you. – “Bridgerton?” – heard you him repeat. You slowly came from behind the tree, your opponent do the same. From afar, lowered both of you, your riffles. Stepping over crunching leaves, made you, your way over to him. Davis and you met in the middle, patting each other on the arm. – “Ninth? You are far from your station.” – spoke Sir Davis, walking beside you. You hummed loud. – “We got separated.” – replied you. Glancing over your shoulder, were you reminded of what you left behind. Holes in the ground created by explosions. Dismembered soldiers lost forever.

“Here.” – Sir Davis offered you some water from his flask. – “You seem thirsty son.” – You gladly accepted it, pouring the sweet cold water down your throat. When you handed him back the flask, noticed you he had been staring at you. Quirking your eyebrow up, wondered you what he saw in you. – “You seem young.” – stated he. You laughed soft. – “Six-and-twenty, sir.” – answered you proudly. Sir Davis chuckled, patting you on a back. – “A wise young man, I see.” – you turned to look at the woods before you, but Sir Davis was not done speaking yet. – “You the eldest?” – questioned he. You shook your head. – “Third, Sir. When we received the note, I went instead of my brothers.” – your mind went back to the time, you first received the note. The note that would stir a lot of emotions.

Violet handed the note over to Anthony. – “It’s from the army.” – whispered she at him. Anthony’s eyes widened, immediately getting up. He left the parlor as you followed him. You heard enough to understand what it was about. Anthony walked into his study, exhaling deep as his hands leaned against his desk. He got startled by the door opening. You entered, shutting the door behind you. – “What are you doing here Y/n.” – asked Anthony of you, not even have opened the note. – “I’ll do it.” – said you firmly. Anthony gaped at you when you pointed at the note in his hand. – “I… what?” – breathed he out. – “I knew this day would come. Every household in London has been receiving them.” – explained you to your brother. 

Anthony was stunned for a moment at your keen observation. Anthony turned himself around to quickly read the note. – “You cannot change my mind about it. I am going.” – insisted you whilst Anthony was still reading. His eyes hastily moving over the words, hoping he hadn’t read anything wrong. He exhaled deep, placing the note down. – “I am the eldest… It is required of me to go.” – spoke he, his back still faced to you. – “It is not, brother.” – Anthony straightened his back, turning slowly around to you. – “You expect me to let you take my place? Y/n, I…” – he shook his head, baffled at the words that didn’t seem to form in his mind. – “This is absurd!” – mumbled he out, rubbing his chin.

You firmly walked across the room to him. – “You are needed here, brother! To look after mother and the others.” – you reminded him of his duty. – “The entire family relies on you. You are the head of the house.” – Anthony bit his lip, shaking his head slightly. – “Then it is still not your task, Y/n.” – said he. You puffed loud, crossing your arms. – “What? You wish to send Benedict? You know as good as me that he wouldn’t survive a day out there.” – called you out, Anthony slightly agreeing with you. – “Benedict his place is with art, not with war.” – Anthony couldn’t argue with that. Defeated slumped he against his desk, exhaling long and deep.

“What must I do…” – muttered he to himself, rubbing his palms against his eye sockets. – “I’ll take the family’s place.” – reminded you him. – “Y/n you…” – started Anthony. – “This is my purpose, Anthony! To fight in honor of my family. War is upon us, and we cannot deny it any longer. If it means getting a chance to end it all, to prevent the war to come knocking on our doorstep. I would gladly take on the beast for survival of our family.” – In that moment understood Anthony. With much pain in his heart, had it to be you. The memory drifted away like snippets of paint touching water.

Footsteps made you alert again. Bringing your riffle to the front, readied you, yourself. Squinting your eyes, spotted you from afar dark patterns against the green scenery. – “Incoming!” – shouted you loud, diving to a secure place. Sir Davis did the same. Rolling over to the other side. Hidden between the bushes, pulled you, your riffle up your shoulder. Closing one eye, focused you on the marching group. They were shouting as well in their language, sending out orders. Bullets were flying around your ears, making you duck down even deeper. You never had gotten used to those sounds. The thrilling sounds of war. Useless war against each other. Sir Davis lifted himself a bit up, firing at the opposite squad. You did as well, silencing your moral. Clearing your mind was the best way to fight this war. 

If you stood long enough still to think about what you were doing, you were death. In more ways anyone could possibly think. You fired a shot, sending a soldier down. Ducking again, missed you the bullets firing above your head. – “Bridgerton!” – shouted Sir Davis at you. You got on your knees again, firing again. More men arrived as you felt cornered. Narrowed down. – “Sir Davis!” – yelled you out, getting his attention. He groaned, gritting his teeth. Firing again, send you another man down. Needing to reload, lay you down on the ground. Your coat catching up dirt. Men were falling down like birds, dropping to the ground. There was just one more left. One more man that stood between your survival.

You got up, aiming at him. He was aiming at you as well. You shot first, watching the body drop. – “Bridgerton!” – called Sir Davis out, making you turn sharply around. You had heard it as well. Sir Davis his gun had blocked, leaving him to struggle with it to fire. Standing face to face with the enemy that had snuck up from behind. You raised your riffle, just having to move the handle for another round. It had to be quickly as in a split second all could be done. Adrenaline was shooting through your body, gritting your teeth at the movement of your hand. A shot got fired. A breathless gasp left your mouth, leaving you to receive the impact. 

Your arms slowly opening as you dropped to your knees. Your expression numb as the dark crimson red stained your shirt. Sir Davis was shouting as another shot got fired. With foggy eyes, saw you, your opponent fall back with such intensity it swooped him off his feet. Releasing a deep and long breath, rolled your eyes back. Any control you had over your body lost as it dropped to the ground with a loud thud. – “Bridgerton!” – Called Sir Davis out. He dived to his knees, rolling your body over to him. – “Stay with me.” – said he, tapping your cheek. – “Stay with me son.” – repeated he, pushing your cheek with his palm. Feeling a gurgle, coughed you out blood.

Sir Davis’s hand hovered over the red stains forming on your shirt. The red circle growing wider. – “Sir…” – whispered you out, finding some strength to speak. Sir Davis was afraid to look away from your wound. Afraid to look you in the eye. Even though your eyes were closed. You had not the strength to open them. Your body shuddered with every cough that brought along some blood. – “I’m sorry son… forgive me.” – said he, lowering his head. You knew you were not getting through this. Waiting for the dark shim to come and claim you. Sputtering out some blood, reached you for your inside pocket. Slowly opening your eyes, clutched you onto a piece of paper. – “Please…” – whispered you out, barely finding the strength to do so. 

Sir Davis lifted his head up, seeing you slide a blood-stained folded paper to him. – “My mother…” – begged you, finding it harder to swallow. Sir Davis gripped onto the paper for you. – “I promise you son. I promise you.” – With some relief, dropped you, your head, eyes rolling back as you drew your last breath. Sir Davis lowered his head against your chest, sobbing loud. It took him a while, but he finished digging a grave for you. He knew he couldn’t take your body with him. Yet he wanted to give you a proper burial. Before he buried you, removed he something significant of you from your vest. To give your family recognition it was you that had passed. Fighting in honor of your country and for the crown.

Violet froze when she heard the knock on the door. Something was amiss, she had felt it all night. She waited curious in the hallway for the doorman to open the door. She tried to get a glimpse of who was at the door. A voice coming through. – “I have an urgent message for the Bridgerton family.” – Violet’s hand moved to her chest, clutching onto it. Anthony frowned, coming down the stairs. – “Mother?” – said he curious, laying his hand on her frozen body. She breathed again at the touch of her son. Anthony looked upon the door with a confused glance. He widened his eyes at the sight of a man in a uniform. 

A uniform that hinted he was a general. He was allowed to enter, bowing before Anthony and Violet. – “I come baring news.” – said he respectfully. Violet wettened her lips, having a hint of what news he brought. It was not accustomed for generals to come bare news at the Homefront when their child was doing great. Anthony straightened his back, holding his hands firmly behind his back. He motioned to his study as he did not want to send the man to the parlor. Anthony was leading the general to his study when a curious Gregory came lurking from outside the parlor. Anthony hissed at him to get back.

The general staid up straight when Violet and Anthony stood near his desk. The general placed his hand against his chest. – “Second general Smith, under command of General Williams, Ninth division.” – introduced he himself. – “I apologize for bringing this news to you.” – started he, shuffling his hand into his inside pocket. Violet released a sobbing gasp at the state of the blooded paper he revealed. Anthony widened his eyes, snatching the paper from the general’s hand. – “I…” – the general turned to Violet, bowing deep to her. – “Your son fought proudly for his country and crown.” – Anthony inhaled sharp, seeing his mother collapse to the ground. She had fallen down, opening her mouth as no sounds came out. 

Her voice caught in her throat. Anthony hurried to her side, taking her hand in his. She was rocking herself back and forth, her hand tight around her heart. One loud cry for help set her off. Her body trembling followed by a loud scream. Anthony felt the ground from underneath his feet, sending him under. He fell down on his bottom beside his mother, staring bewildered and lost in front of him. His hand trembled and shook with the blooded paper in it. – “I heard…” – called Benedict out, opening the door. Behind him was Daphne. They gasped at the display. Violet sobbing loud, crying for help as she bend down, her face near the ground. Her screams pierced through Anthony’s heart as it reminded him of the day his father died.

Benedict noticed the blooded paper in Anthony’s hand, sliding down the wall as his feet couldn’t carry him anymore. Moving the back of his head against the wall, told he himself not to cry. Daphne inhaled sharp at a sting of pain in her heart. – “I’m sorry for your lose.” – spoke the general before taking his leave. Benedict pulled his knees closer to his body, moving his hand through his hair. Sobbing loud, couldn’t he grasp that his brother was death. Gone. Daphne stumbled to the ground, feeling intense pain throughout her body. – “My baby!” – cried Violet out. – “My son!” – she felt as empty as the day she lost Edmund. Another piece of her family torn by death. She had fought away her terrors and nightmares for so long, she was at peace for a time. Now it hit her harder then before. Her own son. Lost in a more gruesome way then Edmund. Violet kept rocking herself, her hand clutched to her chest for if she wished really hard, you were perhaps laying in her arms. Her son, cradled against her chest, holding you one more time.

Anthony felt guilty. He let you leave. He was the one to agree with it. He send you off into the dangers. There was always a slight chance that you wouldn’t survive it, but now it had become a reality. – “It should’ve been me…” – confessed Benedict, wiping his tears away. – “It should’ve been…” – repeated he. – “Me!” – shouted he loud, balding his hands as he roared in terror. His entire body trembling with the intensity of his voice. His hands unfolded again, dropping lifeless next to his body, feeling dizzy. The door got opened again as the rest of the Bridgerton family entered. – “I saw a general, what happened?” – asked Colin, getting pushed aside by Eloise. Eloise took one glimpse of the room, hurrying back outside. 

Her hand covering her mouth as she made it midway the hallway before stumbling to the ground. Francesca gasped loud, smacking her back against the door, staring lost at the ground. – “My baby…” – kept Violet crying out. Colin gasped, throwing his arms around Gregory and Hyacinth. He pulled them away from the room, hearing them cry. – “Is Y/n death?” – asked Hyacinth with teary eyes. Colin slowly nodded. Her lip trembling as she screamed it out, swaying her arms around. She broke free from Colin’s grip, running into the parlor to cry her heart out. Gregory stumbled a bit backwards, unsure how to react to the death of his older brother.

Daphne cried it out, moving over to her mother. She clutched onto her, hugging her as she needed comfort. Violet hugged her firmly back. Anthony dared to open the note, wondering what it said. He moved his hand to his trembling mouth, the paper shaking in his hands. It was the letter his mother send to you before your departure. You had been holding onto it for so long. Now covered in blood stains. A darkness fell over the Bridgerton house. Another young soul taken away too soon. You still had so much to do. 

You still had to annoy Eloise with your brotherly jokes when she would participate in the social season. You still needed to see Daphne’s child. Tease your brothers till eternity. Bring your mother to shame by acting a bit reckless and teasing her. You still had so much to do in your life. – “Forgive me.” – said Anthony, his heart aching. Gregory stumbled in the room, coming to sit beside Anthony. Anthony threw an arm around him, bringing him closer. Gregory sniffed loud. – “I don’t know how to move on without him…” – said he, making Anthony rub his cheek against his hair. – “I know it is hard… but we will… Every day will feel like a challenge, but I assure you the pain will ease over time.”

“I don’t want it to ease…I don’t want to forget about Y/n, like I have forgotten about father.”

“I promise you, you won’t Gregory.”

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Read more fics on my Masterlists!

Polin: A Bridgerton Season 3 Daydream…

(This is what I dreamt up for Polin this morning. It’s how I’d like Season 3 to go. I love Polin. Enjoy! )

Portia forcing Jack to leave town basically ruins Prudence’s but Portia is determined to make use of the forged document that she has that says the first born son to one of her daughters will inherit the Featherington title so she sets her sights on marrying off Penelope for the first time.

We see Portia demanding Penelope not wear yellow because Whistledown wrote about how unflattering yellow dresses are and Portia is all about attracting suitors for Penelope now so she starts putting her in more flattering colors and insisting that Penelope starts wearing a corset every day so her figure is always most appealing.

But just like she did with Prudence in the first episode of season 1, Portia will make Penelope’s corset too tight and when Pen gets to the first ball of the season she looks absolutely stunning but is having difficulty breathing.

Penelope is trying to avoid Colin but he finds her and tries to apologize for what he said when he was drunk at her family’s ball but Penelope gets upset and with the corset restricting her breathing she legitimately swoons and he catches her. When Pen regains her composure, she thanks Colin for his help but makes it clear that she has to focus on marriage this season and can no longer allow her friendships to distract her since her first season her focus was on Marina and last season she was distracted with Eloise.

Colin will claim he understands but inwardly he’s disappointed that he doesn’t get to spend time with Penelope at balls anymore and she has stopped visiting Eloise and his family so he doesn’t even get to see her at tea the way he used to.

Portia is growing reckless pushing for Penelope to attract suitors and Colin doesn’t find the men who are being introduced to Penelope to be true gentlemen because he’s aware of their past indiscretions. When he tries to warn Penelope, she is dismissive and tells him he’s just being protective because he still feels bad about embarrassing her and laughing at the idea of courting her but she’s focusing on men who actually see her as a woman and don’t merely pity her. Colin knows his past behavior is why Penelope feels this way and he tells her he misses when they used to be able to talk without her thinking so little of him.

Violet noticed them speaking and later mentions to Colin that he seems lonely and perhaps he should consider marrying because he deserves companionship and love and he snaps at her because the last thing he wants is for her to start pushing eligible young ladies at him when he has no interest in courting anyone. And he didn’t tell a soul but he couldn’t imagine courting anyone when all he can do lately is think of Penelope and how she used to make even the most boring balls better with her clever humor. He recalls how she used to smile at him and the way her eyes used to sparkle when he made her laugh and he wished more than anything he was back at Anthony’s failed wedding with her just having cake and daydreaming about how they both longed for a sense of purpose. That was the day he realized that Marina was right when she said Penelope cared for him. Of course she did, they’d been in each other’s lives forever, she’d been closest with Eloise but Pen had proven to be a true friend to Colin and he thanked her by mocking the idea that she was desirable as a wife.

In truth, when Colin actually thought about Penelope being a wife and mother he imagined himself embracing her as she smiled looking up at him, holding their child lovingly in her arms and the thought made his eyes well with tears because she would never look at him that way again and it was all his fault. At the next ball they attend, Penelope is dressed in a stunning gown and Colin cannot seem to take his eyes off of her. He notices she looks pale and approaches to ask her to get some air with him. She’s grateful because she’s lightheaded and they go to the garden where Colin begins to try and make small talk because he finally has Penelope to himself but he doesn’t know what to say and she is not looking well.

Penelope tells Colin she is just a little woozy because her mama would not let her eat so she would look nice in her dress but the corset is so tight she can’t breathe and again Penelope started to faint & Colin panics, rips her bodice to loosen the corset and get her some air and Portia finds them. Penelope takes one look at Colin and her ripped bodice and knows her mother will force his hand but before she can explain or protest, Colin insists they will marry immediately to save Penelope’s reputation.

The next day Colin calls on Penelope and brings her flowers and gifts like a doting suitor but Penelope is visibly distraught and promises him she will never force his hand because she wants better for him. He insists that he’s pleased with the idea that he’s going to marry her because she’s his best friend and he’s missed her. Penelope can’t bear the idea of trapping Colin but he’s not listening to her and insists that they should marry.

In a gut wrenching moment of honesty Penelope admits everything to Colin. That she’s always loved him. That Marina knew it. That she was the reason Marina’s secret was revealed because she was Lady Whistedown. That she acted out of desperation when she revealed Marina was pregnant because she knew they were running off to Scotland because Marina seduced him to ensure he wouldn’t question why she wanted to wed quickly and that she was sick over nearly ruining Eloise but with Anthony’s canceled wedding and the Queen’s threats she was terrified of what would happen if Eloise lied about being Whistledown as she intended to. That she knows her actions were unforgivable and she deserved to be alone without friends or love. But she took comfort knowing that someday Colin would find someone worthy of him and it would only be possible because she wasn’t selfish and set him free.

Colin is speechless at Penelope’s revelation and turns to leave in stunned silence but at the last second he turns back to Penelope, admits that Marina never seduced him, they never even kissed. Then he plants a desperately sad kiss on her lips, says he has a lot to think about but he won’t be the reason for her ruin because he’s a gentleman, so they will still marry. He leaves.

Colin confides everything to Anthony, Kate, his mother and Eloise confirms that the Queen had threatened them all the day after Anthony & Edwina’s failed wedding. The family is shocked that Eloise might have acted to rashly because if she had lied to the Queen, the family might have been stripped of their lands and title and ruined if not worse. Despite the stresses Whistledown caused over the years, they cannot deny that if not for Penelope, Daphne would have been forced to wed Berbrooke, Colin would have eloped with Marina and Eloise might have caused the downfalls their entire family.

Meanwhile Penelope decides she will take her money and leave town, ending their engagement with a letter since Colin is not being reasonable by refusing to let her call things off. Colin tells Eloise that Penelope is going to run away & he asks his family members to stick to Penelope like glue because he knows she has plenty of money and is planning to leave town for good.

Eloise has felt Penelope’s absence from her life deeply. She admits it to Kate one afternoon and asks her new sister in law how she made things right with Edwina when there was so much hurt from the secrets and broken trust between them. Kate tells Eloise to be honest with Penelope but at the end of the day, Edwina is Kate’s sister so there is a difference.

Eloise approaches Penelope for the first time all season and they have a heart to heart, each taking credit for their part in their fight. Penelope tells Eloise how much she misses her because Eloise has been like the sister she always wished for in her heart since she isn’t close to her own sisters. Eloise agrees that they have been like sisters and she’s happy that soon they really will be sisters. Penelope doesn’t have the heart to tell Eloise she intends to call off her engagement to Colin but knows she shouldn’t keep more secrets from Eloise.

But first, Penelope asks Eloise for help getting audience with the Queen. Penelope confesses everything to the Queen who is equally shocked and impressed by what the ton’s wallflower was able to accomplish as such a young woman. She agrees to keep the secret and even offers Penelope protection if the secret gets out that she was Whistledown but Penelope has to give up the gossip column and provide her gossip exclusively to the Queen. Penelope is both shocked and grateful. The Queen then announces that the scheming Lord Featherington who stole from many members of the ton is to be stripped of his title so it could be bestowed to a man worthy of it.

Since Penelope advised the Queen that it was Colin Bridgerton who discovered the scammer and ran him out of town, the title of Baron Featherington would be granted to him upon his marriage to Penelope Featherington and they will carry on her family name with the honor it deserves.

After the announcement Penelope is looking for Colin to tell him she will speak with the Queen when there’s a commotion and all eyes turn to Colin who makes a spectacle of himself proclaiming he’d been a fool for not realizing sooner that his dearest friend Penelope had become the most clever, remarkable and beautiful woman of his acquaintance, but it would be unforgivably foolish of him if he allowed anyone to leave that evening without understanding the truth.

Penelope is frozen because she doesn’t know what Colin is about to say but it’s possible he’s about to out her as Whistledown.

Instead he speaks of how he has read of many great love stories but it was the real love he witnessed between his parents and his siblings with their spouses that made him long for his own true love. He mentioned how easily he was distracted from what was right in front of him, and how fortunate he was for Lady Whistledown’s interference. Because he cannot think of a fate worse than a future without hope of love.

Penelope’s heart sinks a little because she knows she can’t ever keep him from the future her deserves. But suddenly Colin is standing in front of Penelope with the entire ton watching and he’s telling her she is the best person he’s ever known and the only woman he has ever felt in his bones he could never live without and that he can’t wait to marry her.

Then he apologizes to everyone in attendance who is a fan of Lady Whistledown because he heard she said she’d never write again if a Featherington ever married a Bridgerton but nothing is ever coming between him and Penelope again. Then Colin kisses Penelope in front of the entire ton and jokingly says, “what’re the chances the Queen would put in a good word with the archbishop so we can get a special license? We have a family to start working on.”

Epilogue: Penelope buys a giant 3 way mirror for the dressing room in her and Colin’s new home and Colin becomes obsessed with trying for an heir in front of the mirror. Lady Whistledown stops writing for the public and serves as a private informer to the crown of all types of gossip she uncovers so the Queen knows all the ton’s secrets and on occasion the crown sends Colin & Penelope traveling to out of town events and parties to secure special tidbits of gossip and Colin begins journaling while Penelope starts writing a series of short romantic novels, each inspired by his siblings meeting their spouses and each with happy endings because Penelope says she wouldn’t know how to write anything else.

this is too precious i will never recover

Scent have a power of persuasion stronger than that of words, appearances, emotions, or will. The persuasive power of an scent cannot be fended off, it enters into us like breath into our lungs, it fills us up, imbues us totally. There is no remedy for it.