“The left wants to destroy the nuclear family.” Yeah maybe a little bit. I mean having 5 moms does sound pretty sweet.
Splitting my nuclear family of 92 Fathers, 92 mothers, and 146 children to create a nuclear family fission chain that wipes out everything in a 12 mile radius
“so which of you are the protons and which of you are the electrons”
Going to family court to see who gets to keep custody of the neutrons
you’ve probably seen the jokes about how archie andrews from riverdale went to war, but the producers refuse to say what war it was
but i’m here to tell you that the reliality is stranger than you could possibly imagine unless you watch the show
this is archie’s dress uniform
(the tepia overlay is present every time he wears it, i have not altered the shot at all)
this is archie and his buddy in the trenches, in their combat uniforms
yes I said trenches. that screenshot is from a flashback archie has to a member of his platoon loosing a leg to enemy shells in no-man’s land. (he specifically calls it no-man’s land)
Okay, so it’s WWI. That’s deeply weird, given Riverdale takes place in more or less the present day (there’s a weird amount of old-timey tech, but everyone also has iphones and laptops, so we can assume the old tech is people being retro), but it’s at least an answer
but it gets weirder.
because we know what country archie was fighting in. his deployment was in uzbekistan.
now despite it being called a world war, not every country was involved in the first world war. uzbekistan did not fight on either side.
because the country didn’t formally exist until 1991
so in whatever parrallel universe riverdale takes place in, new york and the town of riverdale exist essentially in the present day, the soviet union has fallen, but former soviet union countries are still fighting a war which should have ended more than 100 years ago.
so that’s bonkers, but i’m not done
in the episode in which archie decides to join the army, the school digs up a time-capsule from the 1940s and opens it. inside is a picture of four riverdale high students who were shipping out to the army the day after the time capsule was burried
the ghosts of these four WWII soldiers then appear to archie, convincing him that he should join up and fight
so to be clear, archie fought in the first world war, in a country which did not exist during the first world war, because he was told to by the ghosts of soldiers from the second world war, a war which could not have happened yet because the first world war is apparently still ongoing
and also it’s the present day and archie owns an iphone
Like… we’ve just had a very dark, heavy episode about how meaningful and spiritual fusion is for Gems, whether they do it for good or for… problematicreasons. And like, even here at her gremliniest, Pearl resorts to fusion because of its meaning and power. Fusion is a way to demonstrate how her relationship with Rose is so much more than Greg’s ever could be.
Greg crafted this entire music video where he centres Rose on a pedestal with everyone in her orbit and bathes them all in pink while they croon at each other, and Pearl just sweeps in and makes it about how special ROSE AND PEARL are. Greg edged his way gently up the steps and then immediately freaked out and ran off when things got too intense, but Pearl just walks right into Rose’s centre stage like she owns it and makes it all about her.
