#rattish posts
I am vehemently against anyone trying to universally apply their experience of the world on other people.
Reminder not to assume people are allo just because they haven’t said they’re ace or aro if they haven’t talked about they’re sexuality. That is allonormativity, and should be avoided as much as heteronormativity and cisnormativity.
I hate the fact that I’m expected to understand why people want/like/enjoy/are happy because/are sad because they can’t get romance. I hate the fact that I’m expected to understand why the happy couple is happy just because they’re romantic, and I’m supposed to immediately connect with the fact of whatever the hell alloros associate romance with. That I’m expected to be able to understand and sympathise with people being sad about not having romance, because I’m supposed to understand what a (supposed, apparent) “tragedy” it is to not have romance when you’re alloro, even tho I’m aro and I don’t understand. I hate that when I see romance in media, advertising, artwork, or people’s lives even that I’m expected to just understand it. I don’t. I hate the expectation to experience something I don’t: an understanding of romance/alloros. Because, regardless of if I could potentially learn to understand, the fact is I’m coming from a place where I don’t, and yet I’m expected to already.
one of the things that makes me dislike romance is the exclusivity of monoamory, not that polyamory can’t be closed relationships as well but at least those can be open. prefer the idea of people being in open relationships, makes me calmer.. can’t explain why but yeah. it’s more similar to platonic relationships i guess, which make sense to me. i don’t like or need this other type of relationship to exist where it can be exclusive. idk if exclusivity is a thing that can exist in platonic relationships but i wouldn’t like it. it’s less anxiety inducing to think of people not caring who else people they interact with (partners, friends, etc) are involved with, the idea of exclusivity is just weird and alien and uncomfortable to me.
Like if I imagine myself being in a committed relationship with someone, the only reason I would have to want to control who else they have committed relationships with is lack of trust that they wouldn’t just replace me with that other person. I guess I don’t like that lack of trust? I guess it makes sense from a monoamotous perspective, if your partner gets interested in someone else, and they get together with that other person, then if they’re genuinely, truly monoamorous then yeah they’d have to choose between either you or the other person and dump one of you, which would kinda suck. But I guess I don’t understand why monoamory is… a thing, I guess. I think it would be nicer/less stressful (for pretty much everyone involved, including friends on the sideline) if people could trust their partners to have other partners without it somehow meaning their partner is intending to leave them or something. Does that make sense?
one of the things that makes me dislike romance is the exclusivity of monoamory, not that polyamory can’t be closed relationships as well but at least those can be open. prefer the idea of people being in open relationships, makes me calmer.. can’t explain why but yeah. it’s more similar to platonic relationships i guess, which make sense to me. i don’t like or need this other type of relationship to exist where it can be exclusive. idk if exclusivity is a thing that can exist in platonic relationships but i wouldn’t like it. it’s less anxiety inducing to think of people not caring who else people they interact with (partners, friends, etc) are involved with, the idea of exclusivity is just weird and alien and uncomfortable to me.
Honestly? The idea that sex/sexual activities are exempt from being possible to be addicted to is really toxic.
Every time I read a little bit more about sex or romance I get a little bit more scared
I’m just glad I’m not allo oof
Every time I read a little bit more about sex or romance I get a little bit more scared
yo, i can’t read stuff but i wanted to share this book in case my followers find it interesting
test
could someone like this post if it shows up in the tag search results? dont like if you’re seeing this on your dashboard
someone i followed posted this to their tumblr.. hnng.
