#rkjaemin
-.✦・。゚MGA season 5:episode 6,outfit (lyrics + line distribution)
performing nct 127 “whiplash” with @rkyeji,@rkmason,@rkchaeryeong, @rkkhg
Ryujin wasn’t at all surprised when she realised that the so called Golden Trio was deemed as one of the lower ranked performances, the trio was even last to be called out. The news came somewhat as expected but was just as defeating nonetheless, and honestly it made her angry when she know that two full days went to an unnecessary spectacle of a drama scene when it should have been spent on practices. At this point there is no way of knowing whether the two days would have mattered but one thing is for certain, the hiccup was unneeded and certainly avoidable if SUWOONG had only just came to her instead of speculating.
She gets it though, that’s not the case, when the source of the rumors was none other than a vicious snake who caused the end of the entire group Amarante. It’s just so annoying, and so incredibly unfair, when one isn’t allowed to fend for and explain themselves. Although they had managed to make amends and provided with a solid performance that they all had faith in, she can’t help but wonder whether the amazingly poor start of their week had something to do with this particular outcome. It was like a slap in the face really, she thought that after what they had been through and what they had pulled off, it had been a great stage in the end.
Apparently it wasn’t, and she was sad when they announced that JAEMIN had to leave. If the outcome had been different then in the end he could have joined them into the next week, but obviously with a new group, just like them. She felt so guilty knowing that, so inncredibly guilty, especially since it was him. The one person who believed in her during dark times, and he was ultimately the one and only reason why Ryujin managed to get to the bottom of the issues that she didn’t know she had with SUWOONG. It wasn’t fair that he had to go home but in the end, she is fully aware that talent shows like the MGAs are never fair. Ever.
-.✦・。゚
It feels like Ryujin wears weights on her shoulders when she meet the new week, even if there certainly are things to be excited about. For one, she is finally grouped with YEJI, who’s one of her best friends for some years already. It was never a goal of hers to step on stage with friends, not anyone but OLIVIA anyway, but she notice that she is eager to perform with the elder. Perhaps it’s because they have danced together multiple times before that she didn’t necessarily cravethis scenario before, but now that the opportunity is here she can’t wait to actually perform with the other dancer. Secondly, she was picked to join the TRC group.
Anyone who knows her knows that she is in heaven right now as BigStar, Feeldog and TRC are the main reason that she wanted to step onto a stage in the first place. So to be trained by some of the idols and trainees of the very company she want to sign with, it’s a dream come true just that alone and she can’t even begin to express how much it means to her. She listen to their advices carefully, and want to prove to them that she deserves to be placed in a group with a concept fitting TRC. If she can say so herself, Ryujin does believe that she can fit their image with the skillsets that she provides. She is sure of it, she has to be.
The week starts off well, in spite of the guilt and vary steps that she thread. Since SUWOONGhas been telling people false truths she wonder just how many he has told, and whether those have realised that it was all a misunderstanding, whether they believed that it was all simply a misunderstanding. Well… she wouldn’t necessarily call it so herself, because in her eyes it was straight up lies told by a coward who needed someone to blame. It’s what she has agreed to however, misunderstandings, because she couldn’t be bothered with making a scene out of something so small like that. She just wanted to be over with it.
MINHO invited them out on dinner so that the group could get to know each other better, and HYUNGGU suggested that they had an introductional game to break the ice. She appreciate that as it allowed her to relax sooner, to feel more comfortable around the current members of her group since ultimately she was still worried that someone believed the lies about her. That she was the cause of Amarante’s cancellation, when she was so close to debuting. In her eyes that doesn’t make sense but then again, it doesn’t make sense that Jimin would jeopardize such an opportunity either and in the end, that was precisely what she did.
She smiled when HYUNGGU chatted with her during the introduction where he explained that DOYEON is someone that he used to dance with back in the days, that he used to be her sunbae and that now it’s the other way around. “Really? That must be so weird,” she chuckles under her breath and wonder how that must feel like, “but it must also be nice to have a familiar face regardless. I know I’m glad to have YEJI unnie by my side, it makes me feel more at ease.” As the second youngest members of the group she feels a bit small, especially since she is grouped with MINHO, who is also an ex-idol. He isn’t at all how she expected him to be however, pleasantly surprised with how caring and thoughtful he is.
The coaches suggested some songs, and the group suggested some. When they landed on the choice of NCT 127′s Whiplash she truly understood CHAERYEONG’sworry, since the younger had already performed the group’s songs twice already. But with the others she assured her that the feeling would be completely different, that they will not perform exactly what is expected. As they make their own choreography, as well as write their own raps, it will be something new entirely, just with the original song in the background. The song fits their image well, and it provides a proper distribution of lines along with the fact that they all get to show what they do best, which is dancing. Five dancers in one group, trying to fit TRC’s image.
It was difficult, should she be honest, since TRC isn’t dance focused whatsoever, but they all managed well. YEJI andHYUNGGU was assigned to choreograph the new dance, with MINHOand Ryujin’s inputs. The latter two writing their own raps, and helping CHAERYEONG with hers. Ultimately, it would end up with a original take on the song with some small exceptions like the bridges. With the wound from last week still fresh Ryujin felt guilty for ending up in the infirmary and thus, worked even harder this week than previously. Now, she isn’t known to take breaks but she certainly worried YEJI to the point where she was told to relax, multiple times.
Drink water, sit down, rest a little.
And she did, eventually, because she know better than to say no to the other female in addition to the fact that she would definitely not be of any use if she’s sent to the infirmary again, just this time due to exhaustion instead of pure stress. During one of her breaks she decided to go out for a little walk, and to bring them all refreshments in the sorts of smoothies– with the incredibly warm weather she found that they needed to keep themselves chilled, and energized. Bringing five different flavours she let the others pick first and though she know how to memorize lyrics, the ingredients of all five drinks went straight over her head.
-.✦・。゚
It’s strange being so close to a dream, yet so far away. The set up has changed and instead of sitting as an audience when not performing, they are now hidden behind the scenes as the audience has been replaced with an actual audience.Ryujin is thrilled, beyond excited because this will be the first time she actually perform in front of a live crowd of fans. Not necessarily hers, she is that realistic about it, but she hopes that at least some of them are there for her. She know that some people noticed her during the promotion times, when Starship released their dance practices and blogs, but she don’t know whether anyone kept their interest in her.
She squeezes YEJI’shand back before they walk onto the stage, the crowd screaming loudly because of all the hype around them. Having been assigned to open their stage she look over towards the others before she speaks with a grin, “we are your,” and then they all speak in unison, “ANTIDOTE.” It was funny, cliché and something that Ryujin won’t ever let YEJI live down because she was the one to suggest the team name. They all get in position and she is ready. During the past few performances she has had no cue because she either rapped without the music, or she spoke just as it started, but this time she has a split second cue.
채찍질로 나를 깨워줘
My baby you are like (널 데려가)
Palazzo Rocco, you are my antidote
Lemon detox, right
The chorus comes up just after the intro, and it’s split between the two people in ANTIDOTE who can actually sing. She honestly envies them for their vocals, though she know that they are not by the best in the show, because she wish that she could sing as well. MINHO has the bigger rap verse almost for himself, Ryujin adlibs here and there but does not by any means try to take the spotlight as she know that she will get her own. He finishes off a self written rap verse strong as expected, having delivered his rap perfectly as expected. The chorus comes back up just like in the beginning before CHAERYEONG and Ryujin move into their parts, the former starting off with her own self written rap, Ryujin coming in every second line in the end to transition into her own verse that she has also written herself.
When they close up to YEJI’sbig part of the stage she get anxious, Ryujin anticipates what the other has in store and she believe in the elder to pull off the high note because she has practiced so hard… and, she nails it, of course. She expected nothing less of her friend, and is satisfied not only for their performance but for YEJI as well as she know how much it means to her to master the art of singing. It leads straight into their dance break, which Ryujin suggested could be a sort of dance battle between the guys and the girls, excluding CHAERYEONG for only a short moment as her role becomes obvious soon enough, when she bring them all in to dance together again.
Ryujin feels good about the performance, like they have managed to complete it without flaws and that they could not have done anything differently. It’s how she has felt before however, so she doesn’t want to rely on such a feeling since she can’t possibly know what the judges look for in particular. But she is happy with their stage, more than happy actually, and the crowd seems to be satisfied as well because they roar in response, cheering loudly, and it only makes her want to step onto the stage again, again and again.
-.✦・。゚MGA season 5: episode 5
sunday 07/21, practice at royal entertainment
mentioned: @rkjaemin,@rksuwoong,@rkxsnh
TRIGGER WARNING: migraines (headache, nausea), medications
Ever since Ryujin woke up this morning she has felt unweel in an eerie kind of way, the feeling that something is wrong haunting her from the very moment she opened her eyes because it’s appearing to be a brand new sensation. She’s nervous, abnormally so really, when she makes her way to the Royal Entertainment, a route that is becoming familiar with time as result of the practice happening there. It’s early, but not too early. Ryujin follow the company’s schedule as good as she can while excluding the breakfast, especially today since her appetite vanished– that alone is strange, and anyone who knows her would recognise the change.
She is the first one to arrive out of both groups and a staff member is showing her the way, it’s the same way that she has walked many times already during the past few days but she know that she has to be escorted by someone. She met them with a tired smile, head bowing in that typical respect that she show to anyone who is more authorised than herself. As someone who rarely ever has a headache it’s unbearable even to walk like this, silence consumes the short trip from the entrance and up to the practice room but their footsteps are loud enough. She has no time to stay at home though, she has no time to rest. It will pass, is what she tell herself and that especially when she notice that SUWOONG arrive a little while after her.
Eyes twitch slightly by the sight of him, briefly and so quickly that nobody would notice. While they settle their things and prepare to practice she notice that something is different, still. The lights are so much brighter than they were the day before, the sounds are so much louder. It doesn’t take Ryujin long to realise that this is going to be an incredibly long and tiresome day, and she has only just arrived at 9AM. JAEMIN arrive not long after, with his textbooks. They are practicing the dance still, perfecting it the best that they can because although JAEMIN is a very strong, creative rapper has he expressed it isn’t the same when it comes to dancing. He isn’t a dancer, but that’s okay.
He is teamed with two dancers, after all– one way or another, they will all manage to learn the choreography. Luckily for him, the song that they chose doesn’t require much technique. If the famous P.O can pull off the stage then she is sure that JAEMIN can as well, they just need for him to practice, practice, practice. And Ryujin believes in him, she has huge faith in him. She’s worried for other reasons though, which she blame her unwellness for. Surely no one else has noticed how SUWOONG has treated her the past days, no one but herself because it is easier to notice when it happens to oneself. She doesn’t get it, what has she ever done to him?
SUWOONG is particularly picky with her, he always leave her to choose lastly and he flee the scene with her once breaks hit. Instead of getting to know her he’s seemingly everywhere but with his own group, every chance he get, and she slowly begin to feel worse and worse. They seem like small “innocent” things things but small “innocent” things add up rather quickly, and she honestly don’t feel welcome or liked in her very own group… and she simply do not know what she has done wrong, SUWOONG just seem to hate her for no apparent reason. She’s a hardworking girl who usually don’t take breaks but today, she has to.
She simply has to, or she will puke right there and then though that is a fact that she decided against telling her group about. It’s not like the elder male would understand anyway, Ryujin’s absolutely sure about that, because everything she does in his presence seems to be wrong. Closing up towards lunch time it’s becoming unbearable, overwhelming is an understatement and she honestly feel so awful that she want to sit down and cry. The waves come and go yet she can’t seem to find a pattern, suddenly there is a severe rush of nausea and then suddenly there is a immensely throbbing pain in her head. What is going on?
The only pattern she notice is that whenever a wave of sickness appear, her heart beat so fast and so forcibly against her chest that she wonder whether it will jump out of her very body. As she sit down for another break SUWOONG seems to have had enough of it and calls for a fifteen minute break himself. The lump in her throat grows bigger and bigger because she’s scared, it frightens her that she don’t know what is going on with neither SUWOONG nor herself. Ryujin uses the given break to call Jonhyun, her step-brother who happens to work within the branch of medicine, after excusing herself to the hallway just outside the practice room.
His message is quick and simple, Ryujin needs to find herself a place to rest and she know to listen to his advices. If there is anyone that she look up to, it is him. There is nothing that is as important as time at this very moment so she hurry the best she possibly can to find one of the nearby staff members, who agrees to show her the company’s infirmary where she is allowed some rest and some meds to relieve the symptoms. Ryujin isn’t sure what she is given but she takes it regardless, wanting to get better sooner rather than later so that she can return to the practice. Gosh, she forgot to tell JAEMIN where she was going.
Well, surely the staff member would let them know. Before she lay down to rest she put on an alarm to make sure that she won’t oversleep, and she pass out almost the moment she closes her eyes. Just before that, she manages to send off a few texts to her best friend.
text sent to @rkxsnh ( 혜주 ) —— (2)
✉ ▸ i feel so sick… i don’t know what’s goign on
✉ ▸ i’m at the infirmary, i don’t want to be sent home…
The alarm wakes her back up and although she feels better in the sense of why she came into the infirmary, Ryujin feels utterly rotten inside. If she could go back to sleep she would but she can’t, so instead she drag herself out of the comfortable hospital bed and sloppily head back– she hopes that this decaying feeling will pass with time, and she wonder just what on Earth she was given just an hour earlier. That were some strong meds, that is for sure. She squints most of the way back to the practice room where JAEMIN and SUWOONG practice with the other trio because the lights are so gosh darn bright today, but find the room near empty upon arrival.
Oh well, she will have to practice on her own then. Ryujin doesn’t think much of it, other than wondering where they might be, they surely will return shortly anywyay… she hopes, anyway. And they do precisely so, she has only danced for a few minutes when they return and she’s noticing a slight change in JAEMIN’s face that makes her curious. It’s not very obvious, but it was enough for her to notice as she has spent quite some time with the other already. They’re not close, far from it, but she admire the other and he intrigues her. But hey, they brought her a sandwich! When she think about it, she hasn’t eaten the whole day, appetite non-existent.
“My head is fine,” she responds shortly because she know that he SUWOONG only ask about her head out of courtesy. A smile appears though, due to the food. “But thanks. I appreciate it.”
They aren’t grouped for long before JAEMIN offer to fetch some drinks, and ask Ryujin if she would like to accompany him on the trip outside. Strange as it may be she gladly accepts that offer right away, fresh air sounded amazing when she still feel completely dead inside but she realised quickly that something was up, just like everything today. Sandwich in hand, she eats it on the way greedily, suddenly realising how hungry she really is. The questions that he bring her hurts more than she thought they would, and the fact that he seemingly believed for even a second that the rumors are true hurt even more. She can’t blame him however, he was never there to witness what actually happened with Amarante.
Ryujin explains to him the best she can, without revealing too much. It seriously baffles her how effective rumors are, whether they are true or false, and she suddenly understand what has been going on with SUWOONG, that he has been spreading lies about her all along. Her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach and once again, she want to cry while she don’t. Even if the tears are threatening to roll down rosy red cheeks she will not grant him that satisfaction, and she will not cry in front of JAEMIN. Drinks ordered, waited for and now in hand, they make their way back to the building where Ryujin has forgot for the moment that they are recording.
Other matters are more important right now and if the “GOLDEN TRIO” is supposed to have a chance to win they need to settle things, right away. So she approach the elder male, in midst of a face time which he end rather quickly upon their arrival. Ryujin doesn’t beat around the bush and ask why he is out and about telling false truths to people, and where the lies come from. Tears are evident in her eyes, but she still does not cry. He responds with a question of his own, whether she call his cousin a liar– she is confused, she doesn’t even know who this cousin is and how she is related to the matter. SUWOONG says that he doesn’t appreciate that she insult his cousin in front of him and she want to snort, the audacity.
“Yeah, please call her.” She agrees to the suggestion, once she realise who his cousin is. The call should be interesting enough as Jimin has stepped way over the line by spreading lies, and if she don’t spill the beans she will have to resort to old fashioned threats. Jimin may be older than her but in the end, she could have faced serious punishment for what she did and was honestly let go easier than everyone else. Heck, the other members of Amarante did nothing wrong. She luckily didn’t have to threaten with their old CEO as the other tells the truth. Ryujin couldn’t care less whether SUWOONG apologised after that, she was just glad it’s over.
“It’s okay,” is her way of forgiving the elder. “I’m just glad that we got this out of the way.”