I’ll Hold Onto You While We Run

Mafia!Sebastian Stan x Baker!Reader

Summary: Y/n’s dad is up to something, and Sebastian will figure out what it is. Even if it kills him.

Warning: Alcohol, angst, feelings, daddy issues???, hints of stalking, hints at dark past

A/n: We’ll get to see a little bit more about Sebastian in this part!

Sebastian takes a sip of his drink as he stares out the window, clenching his jaw. He’s been watching you through the window for a while, long enough to watch your bedtime routine. It’s been a week since you left his house in a fit of rage, meaning it’s been a week since he last had his hands on you.

He’s not tried, but he knows if he texted you right now, you’d ignore it.

He almost felt bad about what he did, until he remembered the kind of girl you are. You’re the kind of girl that grew up riding horses and going to debutante balls. You’re the kind of girl that’s never had to work for anything in your life, despite what you think.

You might’ve gotten into a good college, but your dad was the one that donated a large sum of money to the school board. You might’ve bought the bakery in your name, but your dad was the one that blackmailed the previous tenants into selling.

Sebastian knows you think you’re too good for a man like him.

A man that teamed up with his dad’s rival to dethrone him from his own business. A man who has no shame about murdering someone in cold blood. A man who watched you for two years and used his friend to get to you.

Soon after taking over his dad’s business, Sebastian saw you through the window of your bakery. He decided right then and there that he had to have you. He just had to be smart about it.

He knew you weren’t the type of girl to go for a man like him, so he’d have to be patient. But he also knew you were the type of girl who wanted some excitement in her life. While you may never go for the ringleader of the country’s biggest mafia, you might go for one of his men, just to get a glimpse of danger.

Sebastian’s been with women like you. The kind of woman that wants excitement, but goes running back home to her sophisticated husband at the end of the night. He vowed he’d never get involved with another woman, especially one like that, until he saw you.

Sebastian had Landon visit you every week, easing his way closer to you. He had him clean up his appearance for you, to keep you comfortable. Sebastian rented the apartment across the road from you, giving him a perfect view of you talking to your girlfriends on the phone about this new man.

Nobody knows about the small apartment, not even his closest men. It’s where he runs when the business gets overwhelming, when all he needs is you.

He watched you gush and blush about a man you barely knew, which somehow excited you more. When he knew Landon had you, he made an appearance himself, drawing you in. His original plan was to invite you to the dinner party to make a move, knowing the excitement of the boss wanting you would be enough for you to forget about Landon.

But when he found out about Landon stealing his money minutes before the dinner party, plans changed. Sebastian was worried the murder would send you running, until he watched you cry on the sidewalk. It wasn’t a cry of shame, or terror.

It was a cry for who you used to be. He knew that cry, because he had cried that same cry before. It was the same cry he cried after watching his dad murder a man, when he realized he’d never be the same again.

He’d never be normal, because he liked it. Like you, he didn’t like the fact that someone died, he just liked how powerful he felt.

That’s why he manipulated his dad into giving him the business.

After Sebastian saw that, he knew you’d be back for more. He knew you could handle it, you could handle him.

Despite Sebastian’s obsession with you, he knows he can never have you. Not in the way he wants. He wants to hold you close, move you in with him, to take care of you. He wants so badly to give you everything you deserve.

If he wants you, he’ll have to play it safe. No feelings, no love, just you.

—-

“Come in,” You shout, looking over your shoulder. You’re in the kitchen, preparing dinner, listening as footsteps get closer to you. You make eye contact with your dad, flashing him a smile.

“Hey, dad,” You say, watching him take off his suit jacket. Your dad places the jacket on the back of the kitchen chair, walking toward you. He presses a kiss to your cheek, standing beside you. “How have you been? I haven’t heard anything from you lately,”

Your smile fades slightly, before a fake one grows on your lips. You don’t want your dad to know anything’s wrong, because what would you tell him? That you witnessed a murder and might have feelings for the person that did it?

Your dad is the best man you know, he’s always been the perfect husband and father. If he knew what his daughter was like, he’d be distraught.

“Nothing’s wrong… I’m just stressed about the bakery,” You lie, hoping he can’t see right through you. He stares at you for a moment, before simply shrugging his shoulders. “I have an idea,” He says, glancing over at you.

“Hm?” You mutter, stirring the liquid in the pot. Your dad has always helped you out when you’re stressed, he’s always been the one person you can count on.

“The cabin I have, you should go there. Spend a couple days alone, clear your head… I’ll take care of everything while you’re gone.” He says. The way he says ‘everything’ sends a chill down your spine, but you don’t know why. He’s just trying to help out, why do you have a bad feeling?

“Oh, I don’t know, dad.” You answer, turning the heat off of the stove. It doesn’t sound like a bad idea, but you’re a complete control freak… You don’t want anyone else running your business. And honestly… you don’t want to be too far away from Sebastian…

Just in case he decides to apologize.

You tried not to think about him, after what happened, but you can’t help it. You tried to be disgusted with the fact that Sebastian practically fucked you in his kitchen with people upstairs, but you couldn’t be.

You definitely should, but you find it hot. You find it incredibly hot. Knowing Sebastian wanted you so bad that he didn’t care about who was around… It’s an absolute wet dream.

Your dad reaches out and grabs your spoon, stopping your stiring motions. “I insist, y/n. In fact, you’ll go tonight.”

You furrow your eyebrows, taking a step back. You’ve never seen your dad like this. He has a certain anger in his eyes that you’re not used to. Your dad has always been fun, goofy… Never angry. Never demanding. “What’s going on? I don’t want to go,” You say, feeling more like a child than you ever have.

Your dad chooses to ignore you, turning and walking into your bedroom. You’re right on his heels, your heart hammering against your chest. You watch as he reaches in your closet, grabbing your “go bag”.

Growing up, your dad insisted everyone in your family have a go bag; a bag full of things you would need if you ever had to leave in a hurry. Clothes, hygiene products, cans of food, chargers, cash. You never knew it wasn’t normal until you got to college and realized no one else’s family had done that.

“I’m not leaving!” You shout, tears welling up in your eyes. You don’t know why you’re crying, but you’ve never been more confused. This has never happened, your dad has never insisted you go away. Your dad shoves the bag into your arms, storming out into the living room. “You will, even if that means I have to drive you there myself.” He says, opening your door.

Fear settles in your chest, your breath trapped in your chest. Something’s not right. You don’t know what it is, but you can feel it in your bones.

You push your way past your dad, pulling your phone out of your pocket and dialing your store manager’s number. You don’t know what’s going to happen, but you know you have to make sure your business is being taken care of.

The phone rings several times before Kate picks up, confusion in her voice. You never call her on her day off, it’s something you take pride in. But right now, you need her. “Kate, I need you to listen,” You start, opening your car door. You throw your bag in the backseat of your car, holding the phone between your cheek and shoulder.

“I need you to watch over the store for a while. I’m going to be out of town for a few days.” You say, starting your car up. You look over your shoulder, watching as your dad locks your house door. You press on the gas, watching as dust flies behind your car.

“What? What are you talking about?” Kate asks. You start driving, subconsciously driving to Sebastian’s house. You’re not sure why that was your first thought, but you assume it’s something to do with wanting to feel safe— and Sebastian makes you feel safe.

Isn’t it ironic? You’ve watched this man murder someone, yet he makes you feel safe.

You keep your eyes on the road, the trees and building signs zipping by you at 80 mph. “You know where the key is, you know how to run the store. I just need you to handle everything while I’m away,” You reiterate, trying to get your point across. You know she’s caught off-guard, but you really don’t want to go into any more detail.

Not until you know more yourself.

“Y/n, is everything okay? Is someone hurting you?” She asks, genuine concern in her voice. You chuckle under your breath, taking the turn into Sebastian’s neighborhood. “Everything is fine, Kate. I’ll be back soon,”

You hang up before she has time to argue, needing some time to gather your thoughts before you pull into Sebastian’s driveway. His car isn’t here, but convince yourself it’s in the garage. He has to be here, you need him.

You park near the door, hurrying to his front door. You knock as loud as you can, your heart continuing to race. Something obviously isn’t right, but you don’t know what’s wrong. It’s your dad, he wouldn’t hurt you… Right?

After what feels like forever, Sebastian comes to the door, dressed only in his underwear. The scratches on his chest and his swollen, pink lips make it obvious what he was doing, causing your heart to sink.

Why did you come here?

Sebastian is a playboy. He’s a dangerous man. Why did you expect him to be the one to protect you? He has bigger things to worry about than some girl he’s only met a handful of times. Sebastian furrows his eyebrows, looking you up and down. “Y/n, what are you doing here?”

You shake your head, taking a few steps back. You try to get the words out, but you’re distracted by the naked woman walking up to the door. You suck in a sharp breath as she wraps her arms around Sebastian’s waist, pressing a kiss to his chest. “Come back to bed,” She moans.

Sebastian rolls his eyes, taking her arms off of him. “Get dressed, there’s a $5 on the nightstand for an Uber.” He mutters, his eyes locked onto yours. You listen as the woman scoffs, muttering something under her breath.

“I shouldn’t have come here, you’re obviously busy and I don’t know why I expected you to—“

Before you can finish, Sebastian is stepping outside, shutting the door behind him. He glances over at your running car, noticing the small bag in your passenger seat. “What are you running from?” He asks, his eyes searching yours.

You gulp, looking behind your shoulder at your car. You’re not even sure what to say. “My dad is forcing me to stay at his cabin so I showed up here,”?

“I… My dad, there’s something wrong,” You stutter, brushing your hair behind your ear. The mention of your dad has Sebastian tensing up, his jaw clenching. You’re far too worried to notice.

“What did he do?”

You swallow the lump in your throat, opening your mouth to explain, only to be interrupted by the blonde woman coming outside. She stares you down as she walks to the edge of the driveway, waiting on her car ride. “He didn’t doanything, something just isn’t right. He came to my apartment and insisted I go away for the weekend. He was acting crazy, he was grabbing me and throwing my bag at me, I’ve never seen him like this before,” You explain.

Sebastian’s hair stands up on the back of his neck, realizing your father was much closer than he ever realized. He always knew who your father was and what he did, but he always thought he was two steps ahead of him. He’s known your father since he was a young boy, thanks to his dad.

Sebastian’s dad was smart enough to have someone else do his dirty work for him, and that someone just happened to be your dad. Your dad took out anyone Seb’s dad needed him to. Sebastian has had a burning suspicion that he was out to get him, but he just didn’t know why.

“Go get your bag. You’re staying with me.” Sebastian orders, nodding over to your car. Your eyes widen, laughing humorlessly. “You want me to stay with you?”

Sebastian stares at you blankly, nodding. “Yes, why wouldn’t you?”

You chuckle again, raising your eyebrow. “Well, for one, I’ve watched you kill a man. I also just saw a naked woman walk around your house. So, no, I won’t be staying here,” You say, turning to leave. Sebastian gently grabs your arm, spinning you back around.

He’s smirking, looking you up and down. “You jealous, doll?” He asks. He can see it written all over your face, but he knows you’ll never admit it. You roll your eyes, choosing to ignore the question. You don’t have time to entertain his ridiculous questions.

Sebastian’s smile fades, turning into a more serious expression. “I’m serious, you need to stay here. This house is more protected than the White House, and you know that. You’ll be safer here than anywhere,” He says, leaning against the doorframe. You sigh, realizing just how right he is.

“Fine,” You start, looking up at Sebastian. You raise an eyebrow as his eyes light up, a smile growing across his face. “Butthere will be absolutely no funny business. I’ll have my own room, my own bathroom, and you’ll be respectful of my boundaries,” You order.

Sebastian smiles, sticking his hand out.

“Deal,”

Angel

Mafia!Sebastian Stan x Baker!Reader

Warning: Oral sex (f receiving), angst, feelings???, unintentional exhibition, let me know if i missed any!

Summary: You never thought you’d be standing at the door of a murderer, but here you are.

A/n: I’m so sorry this part took so long, but i lost motivation halfway through :( I’ll have the next part up soon!

“Here’s your dress, Ms. Y/l/n,” The man says, flashing his smile at you. You give him a tight-lipped smile as you dig through your purse, pulling out your credit card. You’ve been getting ready for your date all day, going shopping for new shoes, buying yourself some new lipstick, and now, you’re picking up your dress from the dry-cleaners’.

You wouldn’t say your exactly excited about this date, but it’s something to get your mind off of last night. You can’t believe you got off to a murderer.

Your parents raised you better than that.

When you called your best friend up, she hooked you up with the seemingly perfect man. You’d met her friend multiple times before, but never thought of him in that sense.

“It’s already paid for.” The man states. You lift your head to look at him, furrowing your eyebrows.

“What? No, I haven’t paid for it,” You insist, grabbing your dress. The man across from the counter smiles, shrugging his shoulders.

“It was paid for by the name of…” He starts, grabbing the receipt to look at it. “Mr. Stan?”

Your lips part in shock, your shoulders falling.

Seriously?

This is what he’s doing now? He’s bribing you to come by his house? You sigh, tucking the dress under your arm and walking out of the small store. You drive all the way home, angry at Sebastian.

What does he not understand? You don’t want anything to do with him. He’s a bad person! How are you supposed to ignore him if he’s calling you and paying for your things?

You walk through your front door, shutting it behind you. You toss the dress over onto your couch, groaning. You wish you could just lay in bed all night, instead of having to go on this date.

You walk down your hallway, entering your bedroom. On your bed sits a white box, with a note on top. You jerk your head around, making sure you’re not being followed. You’re sure you locked your door, you’re positive.

Your heart thumps in your chest, knowing exactly who was in your home. But how?

You walk forward, picking up the small note.

‘If you’re going to be with another man, you might as well look good while you’re doing it. Thank me later’

The hair on the back of your neck stands up as you drop the note, tearing into the box. You lift the lid to reveal a set of white, lacey lingerie. It’s beautiful, you can’t deny that. The flower covering the nipple portion of the bra is gorgeous. You run your finger across the top of the lingerie, picturing yourself in this set.

You’ve never worn lingerie, but you think you just might tonight.

—–

“And so I told 'em, I can’t file your taxes if you’re unemployed!” Jake says, laughing so hard his shoulders are shaking. You fake a laugh, gritting your teeth. Your date has been telling a “joke” about doing taxes for the past 30 minutes.

The restaurant is loud and cluttered. Your black dress is wrapped tightly around your body, as if it’s begging you not to take it off for this man. Your white lingerie is hugging your body, reminding you of a certain man.

You’re bored out of your mind, but you don’t want to be. You really wanted to go on this date to forget about Sebastian, but it seems you’re only thinking about him more. You find yourself comparing Jake to Sebastian, only for Jake to fall short.

You really tried to be interested in Jake, but it’s impossible. How are you supposed to forget about Sebastian when he’s so… Enchanting? How are you ever supposed to be with another man if Sebastian keeps popping up randomly?

“I have to go,” You blurt out, scooting your chair out from under the table. Jake furrows his eyebrows, looking up at you as you stand.

“What? Why?” He asks. You ignore him, scrambling to find your pocketbook. Once you have it, you rush to exit the restaurant, one thing on your mind.

If you ever want to be with someone else, you have to tell Sebastian to leave you alone.

——-

You stare at the door in front of you, swallowing the lump in your throat. The taxi ride here was dreadful, a million scenarios running through your head, not sure which one will actually play out.

It’s dark outside, but you can’t bring yourself to knock on the door. Sebastian is a killer.

Had you forgotten that when you randomly decided to show up at his house? Who says he won’t kill you tonight? You know what he’s capable of. Before you can convince yourself to turn around, the door is opening, revealing a very confused Sebastian.

He’s dressed in his usual— tight, black pants and a black dress shirt. His cross necklace is nestled in his chest hair, where the top two buttons are undone. Sebastian flickers his eyes up and down your body, drinking your image in. You almost forget what you’re there for, until he flashes his white smile.

“What a pleasant surprise,” He says, stepping to the side. You plant your feet on the ground, stopping yourself from going inside. You came here to do one thing, and you know if you go inside, it’ll be hard to leave.

“You have to leave me alone,” You say, your voice shaky. Standing up to a man who has murdered somebody wasn’t necessarily on your bucket list, but here you are. Before Sebastian can respond, you continue.

“You can’t keep popping up in my life. No more paying for my stuff, no more texting me, no more inviting me over,” You demand. Sebastian leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And why’s that?” He asks, his voice deep.

“You’re a bad man, Sebastian. I watched you murder somebody, I can’t be with someone like that,” You say, watching as Sebastian steps forward. There’s a new smirk on his face, one you haven’t seen yet. He uncrosses his arms, dropping them by his side.

“If I’m such a bad man, why are you wearing the lingerie I bought you?”

You gulp, taking a deep breath. He can’t possibly know you have it on under your dress, can he? You take a step backward, creating distance between the two of you. “I don’t,” You answer, your voice quiet.

Sebastian steps forward again, lifting his arm and reaching it out to you. He hooks his index finger beneath the strap of your dress, lifting it from your skin. The white strap of your lingerie becomes visible, a smile growing on his face. “Why are you lying to me, huh?”

He pops the strap back against your skin, his hand falling down to caress your arm. “You know better than to lie to me,” He says, his voice laced with authority. You can feel your mind slipping already, dragging you under, making it harder for you to deny him. His face is inches from yours, his eyes flickering down to your lips.

Cold chills pop up on your arm, where he’s caressing it. “Did he touch you?” He asks, watching as you shake your head, unable to speak. You’ve never been so fucked out, without even being touched. Sebastian leans forward, his nose brushing against yours.

“Good girl,”

With that, you let go, pushing forward and kissing him. His hands drop from your arm to your waist, pulling you inside. He shuts the door behind you, his lips moving with yours. You feel your breath get trapped in your throat, too mesmerized to remember to breathe. He grabs your waist again, pulling you forward as he walks backward. The kiss is eager, desperate, everything you thought it would be.

You feel yourself being pushed against something hard and cold, but you only focus on Sebastian’s hands gripping you, his lips pulling you in. He pulls away, pressing his forehead against yours. You’re able to see where you are now, taking it all in. You’re in his kitchen, your back pressed against the counter. It’s one of the nicest kitchens you’ve been in, but you’re not thinking about that right now.

“Let me taste you,” He breathes, licking his lips. A smirk grows on his face as he squeezes your ass through your dress. “Or am I too bad for that?”

You roll your eyes, reaching up and tangling your fingers in his hair, pushing him down until he’s on his knees. Sebastian smiles up at you, his hands bunching the bottom of your dress up, revealing your white panties. He presses a kiss to the inside of your thighs, his eyes on yours. “Beg me,” He demands, earning a whimper out of you.

You’ve never been good at being vocal in the bedroom– especially not with men. You’ve always felt more confident in the bedroom when you’re with a girl, but you feel completely lost when it comes to being with a man. But you’ve never wanted anything more, so you’ll do whatever he wants you to do.

“Please, let me feel you,” You whisper, tugging on his hair, trying to pull him closer to your center. You can feel yourself soaking through your panties, sticking to the inside of your thighs. Sebastian shakes his head, seemingly unsatisfied with your plea.

You pout, swinging one leg over his shoulder, his face practically touching your panties. “Need you so bad, Seb, ’m aching,” You mutter, tears threatening to slip out. You think you might actually die if he doesn’t start touching you soon.

Sebastian chuckles quietly, reaching up and pulling your panties down your leg. He moans when you’re exposed, your folds glistening and gleaming for him. He spreads you apart with his thumbs, a string of your arousal spreading between your thighs. “So fucking perfect,” He mumbles, his thumb moving to your swollen bud.

You tighten your grip on his hair, resting your head against the cabinet behind you. You close your eyes, letting bliss overtake you. Sebastian presses his thumb against your clit, gently rubbing circles, looking up at you. “Does that feel good, doll?”

You nod, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. Your moan is trapped in your throat, scared to let go. You’re caught off guard when he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking it into his mouth. He sucks on it gently, while keeping your folds spread with his fingers. You moan quietly, working up the courage to become undone. Your stomach tightens, your head filled with fireworks.

When the sensation becomes too much, he pulls away, burying his face between your legs, licking and slurping up every trace of you. His tongue pushes its way into your tight hole, spreading you open. He fucks you with his tongue, earning another moan out of you. This one is loud, louder than you thought it would be.

Sebastian moans against you, reaching up and cupping your ass, pulling you closer to his face. He adds his finger, your cunt clenching around it. You pant above him, your fingers tightening in his hair. You’ve never been this gone before, especially not so quickly.

You don’t care that he’s a bad man. You don’t care that he’s done bad things. You don’t care that he has blood on his hands.

You are completely crazy for this man.

Sebastian looks up at you, his eyes dazed, locked onto yours. “Cum for me, doll,” He rasps, his lips pink and swollen. Your moan gets trapped in your throat as you struggle to keep your orgasm at bay.

But how could you? The most powerful man you’ve ever met is on his knees for you, doing everything in his power to make you feel good.

Despite the clear power imbalance between the two of you, you’ve never felt more powerful.

You feel a wave of pleasure wash over your body, your legs shaking, trapping Sebastian between them. Sebastian coaxes you through your orgasm, pulling back and resting his cheek against the inside of your thigh. You look down at him, attempting to catch your breath.

“Holy shit,” You mutter, watching as he rises to his feet. He smugly licks his lips. reaching out and stroking your jaw with his hand. He stares in your eyes, opening his mouth as if he wants to say something, but he’s interrupted by the sound of footsteps. You both turn to face the man at the bottom of the stairs, who’s dressed in the same outfit as Sebastian.

The man with the brown hair and blue eyes clears his throat, smirking. “Sounds like you’re busy, so I’ll show myself out,” He says, turning to the door. You turn to face Sebastian, your face red and full of anger.

You can’t believe he had people over! He ate you out in the middle of the kitchen, knowing anyone could walk down and see you? You know the mysterious man heard you! When Sebastian turns to face you, his smile drops, his eyebrows furrowing.

“What?”

“You are unbelievable! Am I some sick game to you?” You ask, pulling your dress back down. You grab your phone, walking to the door. Sebastian follows you, reaching out and grabbing your waist, spinning you back around to face him.

“What are you talking about? I thought we were having a good time?” He asks. You huff, shaking your head. The way you feel now is a major contrast from how you felt earlier. Instead of feeling powerful and divine, you feel cheap and dirty. Did he just use you to make himself feel good? Did he want to show off his skills to his friend?

“You had someone over, Sebastian! I thought you really wanted me, not to just use me to make yourself feel good,” You say, pulling your arm back.

Sebastian’s face drops, allowing you to see a glimpse of what’s going on his head. Before you can figure it out, he’s rolling his eyes, clenching his jaw. “You said it yourself, y/n,” He spits, causing you to flinch.

You hadn’t realized how used to 'doll’ you’d become. Now, hearing him say your name is a harsh slap of reality, reminding you that he’ll never be anything to you and you’ll never be anything to him.

“I’m a bad man; What did you expect?”

You swallow down your response, deciding it isn’t worth it anyway. He’s right, and you know it. He’ll never be the person you deserve– the one that shows up at your door with flowers or the person who tells you how much he loves you every day.

You open the door, walking out and slamming it behind you. You rest your back against the door, taking a deep breath.

He’ll never be the one you deserve, but he’ll always be the person you want.

Sweeter Than Sugar

Mafia!Sebastian Stan x Baker!Reader

Warning: mentions of guns, murder, mafia!sebastian, cheating (not involving reader), dark themes obvs, angst,

Summary: When a customer offers to take you on a date, you never imagined you’d end up with blood on your dress.

A/n: This is different for me, but I think I really like it! Obviously there’s going to be another part, so keep your eye out for this new series!

“And that’ll be $24.99,” You say, flashing a smile at your customer. You watch as she walks out, carrying her small bag. The bakery is busy with workers— some cleaning up tables, some baking fresh goodies, some putting away supplies…

The soft music overhead seems to fade out when he walks in. You never get used to seeing him walk through those doors. You always expect it, but somehow, it always catches you off guard.

Ever since you opened your bakery up two years ago, he’s come in every single Wednesday. Without fail.

He always buys the same thing, 2 rainbow cake pops and a bottle of water to wash it down. The first time he came in, you had to have someone else to check him out. You were so flustered you could barely focus.

His blonde hair and blue eyes were too much for you to handle.

“Y/n, how are you today?” Landon asks, walking up to the counter. His broad shoulders are covered with a brown leather jacket, complimenting his forest green sweater perfectly.

You blush, jerking your head over to your baking station. “Follow me, wanna show you something,” You say, completely ignoring his question. You reach behind your waist and tighten your apron, wanting it to look as flattering as possible.

Even though Landon’s been coming in the store for two years, he’s never seen you outside of work. You keep thinking he’ll ask you on a date, or even ask for your number, but he never does. He only sees you with your hair in a bun, flour in your hair, and dressed in an old apron.

Landon follows you to where your mixer is, curiosity running through his veins. “Don’t tell me you’re tweaking your recipes,” He starts, raising an eyebrow. He looks around your counter, seeing your ingredients spread out. “You know what I always say— don’t mess with perfection,”

You giggle quietly as you pick up a small cupcake, topped with rainbow icing. You motion for Landon to take a bite, your smile spreading across your face. You had been working on this recipe for weeks, wanting to get it just right.

Landon closes his eyes as he takes a bite, his pink lips grazing your dainty fingers. Your heart skips a beat as you wait for his response, the noise of the bakery drowning out in the background. Landon hums as he licks his lips, a smile spreading out across his face. “This is amazing, y/n, what is this?”

“It’s the same thing as the cake pops you order, just—“

“Lando!” You hear a voice ring out, causing your head to snap to the bakery door. There’s a tall man standing in the doorway, his arms open, a smug smirk on his face. He’s dressed in a black suit, rings decorating his slender fingers.

Landon’s body language changes immediately, his shoulders tensing up and his smile vanishing. You move your head back to Landon, a confused look on your face. You don’t know anything about the man at the door, but you know something’s not right.

Before you can ask Landon who his friend is, the man at the door walks behind the counter, eyeing you up and down. You’ve never felt more naked.

“You can’t come back here,” You say, meeting his eyes. The man seems uncomfortable with the eye contact, but he doesn’t back down.

“Landon, introduce me to your friend,” He says, extending his hand. You flicker your eyes down to his knuckles, noticing the bruises hiding under the gold rings. Landon clears his throat, nodding over to you.

“Uh, this is y/n,” He says, grimacing as Sebastian chuckles deeply. Sebastian looks you up and down, licking his lips. You can feel a shiver run up and down your spine, practically shrinking your image. You don’t like the way he’s staring at you, you’ve never had someone look at you like this.

Sebastian tears his eyes from you, looking back at Landon. “This is the one you’ve been talking about, huh?” He asks, a smug look on his face. Your heart skips a beat as you imagine Landon talking about you.

It’s clear these men are friends, but you can’t ever imagine them interacting together. Landon is so… Soft. He eats rainbow cake pops and giggles and blushes.

The man before you is so rugged. Dressed in black, bruises on his knuckles, smug.

“Why don’t you ask her on a date?”

The question— no, order— takes you by surprise. For years, you’ve been flirting with Landon with no date in sight. What is this man’s end game? Why, after 2 years, is he in your bakery, demanding Landon to take you on a date?

Landon clears his throat, doing his best to fake a smile. If you were anybody else, it would convince you. “Sebastian is hosting a dinner party Friday. I’d love if you came with me,”

Dinner party? Sebastian? It only now occurs to you that you were never properly introduced to the man, only telling him your name. Sebastian doesn’t seem like the type to host a dinner party.

He seems like the type to scoff at dinner parties.

But still, Landon is asking you on a date. Who are you to question what Sebastian likes or doesn’t like? You’ve been waiting on this for two years.

So, you smile, your cheeks blushing. “I’ll be there,”

————

Your eyes widen as the house comes into view, the reality of your date setting in. You were shocked when Landon pulled up in a luxury car, the red leather matching your black dress perfectly, but nothing could’ve prepared you for this fucking mansion.

“Is this yours?” You ask, breathless. The car ride there was silent, except for the occasional question here and there. You can’t help but notice Landon is completely different outside of the bakery.

His jokes, his laughter, his charisma… It’s all gone.

You chalk it up to the nervousness of the date, forcing yourself to relax and enjoy the moment. Landon glances over at you as he puts the car in park, behind the many other black cars in the driveway. “No, this is Sebastian’s place. It’s been in his family for years,” He says, unbuckling his seatbelt.

Sebastian.

You’d almost forgotten the arrogant man would be here. After all, it is his party you’re going to.

“Speaking of Sebastian, what’s up with him?” You ask, watching as Landon gets out of the car. You keep your eyes on him as he walks to your side, opening your door. His black dress shirt is tight against his biceps, his gold chain dangling from his neck.

Landon chuckles lightly, shaking his head. “He’s something, that’s for sure,”

He leads you to the doorway, placing his hand on the small of your back. The gesture forms butterflies in your stomach, distracting you from the way Landon uses a key to get into the house. As the door opens, music floods your ears, lights glaring in your face.

There are close to a hundred people in the large room, all dressed in their best. Suddenly, you feel insecure about your choice of outfit. Sure, you look good, but not as good as some of these women.

“Lando!” You hear a voice shout, causing you to roll your eyes. You’d hoped you be able to avoid Sebastian for at least a little bit. You don’t know what it is about Sebastian that you can’t stand, but you’d prefer if you never had to see him again.

Landon stiffens beside of you, chuckling nervously. You watch as Sebastian makes his way over to you, a smug smile on his face. Once again, he’s dressed in a dark suit, his hair slicked back. You can’t deny he’s a good looking guy, but you can’t get over how cocky he is.

“Seb,” Landon says, moving his hand from your back, extending it to shake Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian keeps his eyes on you the whole time, looking you up and down.

“Y/n,” He says, his voice dropping. You can’t be bothered to respond to him, knowing he’ll take whatever you say and spin it. You scoff, walking off, over to where the open bar is. You quickly order your fruity drink, already ready to end this night.

You wish your first date with Landon would’ve been something else, something different, but you’ll take what you can get after your ex-boyfriend. You haven’t been on a date in YEARS, thanks to your pickiness and your standards. You can feel Sebastian staring a hole through you, unfamiliar with women brushing him off.

Sebastian clears his throat, raising the glass in his hand. The light music stops, the dancing coming to a halt. “Now that everyone is here, we can finally enjoy the party,” He announces, catching your attention.

He was waiting for you for the party to begin?

You shake your head, slightly rolling your eyes. Why did your absence from the party make a difference? And what does he even mean, anyway? The party seemed to be doing just fine without you. Sebastian walks the perimeter of the room, his eyes on each person he passes.

Most people are frozen– because of fear or interest, you don’t know.

The overhead light shines down on him, your eye catching the glimpse of the gun tucked in the back of his pants. The gun heightens your attention, your blood pumping through your veins. Why is this civilian carrying a gun? It’s not something you see every day, certainly not at such a formal event.

Then again, you know Sebastian is no ordinary man, despite only meeting him twice.

“Most of you know why we’re here, right? To celebrate 15 years in the business,” Sebastian announces, glancing over at an older man. The older man resembles Sebastian, except for the grey hair and the extra weight.

“Well, 15 years since dad so kindly handed the business over to me,”

You sense tension in the room, but you’re not sure why. Everyone seems to be having a good time. Everyone seems to be completely focused on Sebastian.

The room is completely silent, which is not what you expected. You expected the room to explode in applause and whistles, congratulating their friend for his success in “The Business”. You grip your drink tighter, suddenly feeling claustrophobic.

This isn’t right.

You dare to be the first person to move, making your way to Landon, who’s frozen in his spot. “I want to leave,” You whisper, your eyes darting across the room.

You wouldn’t say you’ve necessarily been sheltered your whole life, but you’ve never felt like this before. You’ve never felt so unsure of what was happening, but so sure that your safety is in jeopardy. Sebastian goes silent again, your hair standing up on the back of your neck.

You hear his steady footsteps against the hard floor, stopping when he’s less than a foot away from you. “What some of you don’t know is that we’ve had money missing,”

You tear your eyes away from Landon, standing next to him, your eyes meeting Sebastian’s.

Money?

Your chest rises and falls as you try to regulate your heart rate. Everything in you is telling you to run.

So why can’t you?

Out of the corner of your eye, you see 10 men step out from the crowd, standing slightly behind the man in front of you. You can’t help but to notice something you’ve not noticed before.

They all have the same tattoo on their neck.

“Money, that I’m fairly certain I left Landon to watch over,” Sebastian says, his arm reaching behind his back. Your head snaps over to Landon, your eyes wide. Has he stolen money from Sebastian? You didn’t take him as a criminal.

Why would Landon take money from his boss? What business does Sebastian run?

Landon swallows the lump in his throat, his throat tightening. When you look back at the men in front of you, Sebastian has a gun pointing at Landon’s head. You can’t process it before Sebastian is ordering Landon to get on his knees.

You stare back at Sebastian, your eyes filling with tears. This isn’t how you expected your first date to go. Your life is in danger because of this man, because of this stranger. You thought after two years of flirting back and forth, seeing him every week, you knew him.

But you were wrong.

You’re not sure what kind of “business” Sebastian is running, but you’re fairly certain you won’t be making it out alive.

“What a shame, huh? I really liked you,” Sebastian says, keeping eye contact with Landon. He smirks, letting out a deep chuckle. “Liked your wife better, though,”

You suck in a sharp breath as Landon clenches his jaw, staring up at Sebastian. “What did you do to my wife?!” He shouts, his face red.

Wife.

Your bottom lip starts trembling, blindsided by this news. Sebastian turns his head to you, his smile gone, replaced by a pitied pout. “Aw, I’m sorry sweetheart. I didn’t want you to find out this way, but something had to be done,” He pouts, his voice laced with humor.

Your attention is brought back to the gun when Sebastian takes a step forward, pressing the barrel of the gun to Landon’s forehead. You tear your eyes away, looking out into the crowd. They all seem so unphased; why isn’t anyone doing anything?

Why isn’t anyone calling the cops?

Before you can put two and two together, a loud bang rings out beside you, followed by a loud thump. No one in the crowd even flinches, but you jump out of your skin, traumatized. You feel the stickiness of the blood splattered on your skin, on your dress, but you can’t do anything about it.

You bring yourself to look beside you, your eyes filling with tears as you watch blood pool out of Landon’s head. With a simple whistle, Sebastian’s 10 men are moving to drag Landon out of the room, without so much as an explanation.

Sebastian turns his back to you, opening his arms. “Let’s get back to it,” He shouts, earning cheers from the crowd. You stand, frozen, tears running down your cheeks. While everyone else is dancing and drinking, you’re left to deal with what just happened.

If it wasn’t clear before, it’s clear now: Something is deathly wrong with this party.

You drop your glass, letting it shatter at your feet. You grasp your dress, your feet running before your mind can even catch up. You weave and bob through the people, pushing the front door open. Your heart is pounding in your chest, your breath stinging in your throat. You run until you can no longer hear the music, until you can no longer smell the smell of death.

You’re not sure where you are, or how long you’ve been running, but you sit down on the sidewalk, sobbing. Your feet are aching, your legs are burning, and you can hear the sound of the gunshot ringing in your ears.

You try to figure out exactly where it all went wrong. Was it when Landon first walked into your bakery? Was it when he finally made a move? Was it when Sebastian walked in?

You go back to every Wednesday for two years, wondering what you could’ve done differently to avoid this. You should’ve saw the signs, you should’ve known he was married, should’ve known he worked for some psychopath.

You bury your face in your hands, your tears drying against your bloodstained cheeks.

What do you do after this? Do you go back to work and pretend nothing happened? Do you go to the cops?

What do you do when someone you barely knew gets murdered?

What do you do when you watch someone get murdered?

What do you do when you like the rush of it all?

What do you do when you like the way your adrenaline runs through your body?

What do you do when you like the idea of having a dirty secret?

What do you do when you like the way the murder made you feel?

Lit Through the Darkness at 1:58

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: When you’re home alone, you convince yourself that Bucky deserves more

Warning: insecure reader, angst, throwing up, heartbreak, i don’t mean any hate toward natasha during this fic, let’s be honest if my bf was hanging around natasha i’d be insecure, have you seen her???

A/n: was requested (@scorpionchild81) but put my own spin on it to fit my 1k celebration! sorry it’s so short :(

You grip the toilet tighter as you throw up, tears rolling down your cheeks. You’ve been throwing up for what seems like hours, but you’ve been crying for weeks. This happens every time Bucky goes on a mission, leaving you all alone. Things are perfect when Bucky is home, but as soon as he leaves… The doubt sets in.

You don’t hear from him for weeks sometimes, you don’t know where he is, who he’s with… You know Bucky loves you, but should he?

How could he really love you, when Natasha is right there next to him? She’s a badass! She’s just like him… She took her trauma and made it into something positive. She’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s strong…

All you do is sit at home and wait for Bucky to return. You can’t relate to him about much of anything. He’s 100 years old, you’re 23. Natasha might not be able to relate to the age part, but you know how deep their conversations get about their trauma.

Bucky opens up to her about things he won’t dare talk to you about.

You throw up again, your heart breaking in your chest. You don’t know why you even still try to convince him that he should be with you. You know the truth, he should be with Natasha.

You scramble for your phone, dialing Bucky’s number. You haven’t spoken to him since he’s been gone, which hasn’t helped your anxiety. You don’t want to wait until he’s home, you want the relief now. If you’re not with him, you can’t be upset about what he’s doing when he’s gone.

The phone rings, but proceeds to go to voicemail. Your breath hitches in your throat, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“This is Bucky, leave a message. Or don’t, I probably won’t call back either way,”

The sound of his voice has you choking a sob back, your lip trembling. You hear the beep, scrambling to come up with words. “Uh, Bucky… This is y/n,” You say, rolling your eyebrows as you remember he already knows who it is, thanks to caller ID.

“I know you’re busy, but uh, I thought I should tell you now, before you come home,” You say, your voice broken and quiet. You lean your head against the wall behind you, taking a deep breath. You don’t know how to break this to him, especially over the phone.

You know he’ll be better off without you, better off with someone who understands him. “I won’t be home when you come back. I’m sorry, Buck, but I can’t do this anymore. You deserve better, you deserve someone like you,” You say, your voice failing you, sobs taking over. You instantly hang up, not wanting him to hear you cry anymore.

You sob against the bathroom floor, wrapped in his shirt, knowing you’ll never where his clothes again.

—-

You’re in the bathroom of your new apartment, getting ready for bed. You don’t know when Bucky went home, or even if he went home. You’ve blocked his number, not wanting to put yourself through that pain again.

it’s over, there’s no need to rehash things when he gets home. He deserves better, that’s that. You wonder what he did when he got the message. Was he relieved? DId he run to Natasha, telling her that you were gone? Did he even miss you?

No, he doesn’t miss you. You’re not the kind of girl guys miss when it’s over. You’re the kind of girl guys are relieved about when you leave. Finally, the boring nights, meaningless arguments… It’s over.

Natasha is the kind of girl guys miss when it’s over.

You splash water on your face, closing your eyes as the cold water wakes you up. Water runs down your forearms, landing on Bucky’s red henley. You swore you wouldn’t take any of his clothes when you left, but you always did love this shirt.

You inhale deeply, trying to get yourself to relax, to forget about Bucky. You lift your head up, opening your eyes as you stand straight up. Your breath hitches in your throat as you see Bucky standing behind you, his eyes fixed on yours through the mirror.

“Bucky, how the–”

Before you can finish, Bucky is spinning you around, pinning you against the counter. His eyes are red, his lips puffy and his cheeks red. “How could you?” He asks, breathlessly.

You gulp, your bottom lip trembling. It’s obvious he’s been wrecked, just like you have been. It’s obvious you’ve broken his heart.

“Bucky, I had to. You deserve better,” You whisper, your voice breaking.

Bucky shakes his head, furrowing his eyebrows. “Better? I deserve better?”

You push past him, not wanting to be trapped in this tiny bathroom with him. “You need to leave,” You say, trying to convince yourself that’s what you want.

Bucky follows you, using his metal arm to grab your flesh one. The metal of his fingers burn into your skin, digging into your bone. “Tell me, y/n. If I don’t deserve you, what do I deserve?”

You refuse to look at his eyes. You don’t answer, wanting this to be over already. You were at peace with your decision, why did he have to come back?

“Tell me!’ He barks, raising his voice. You finally look at him, watching the tears stream down his face.

"Natasha, alright? You deserve Natasha!” You say, jerking your arm away from him.

Bucky furrows his eyebrows, taking a step back. “Natasha…?” He asks, muttering under his breath. You wipe your eyes, sniffling.

“What are you talking about?”

You shake your head, dropping your eyes to the ground. “You deserve someone like you, Buck. I can’t understand you. I can try, I can pretend I understand you, but there are things I’ll never understand about you, because I’ve never gone through what you’ve gone through. Natasha has… I can never be what you need,” You admit, your tears rolling down your cheeks.

Bucky stares at you blankly, his lips parted. You can see the gears turning in his head, but you can’t tell what he’s thinking. “Y/n… Natasha is a friend. She’s my friend because she understands what I’ve gone through. But… For you to try to put yourself in my shoes… To try to understand me, that’s what makes you a good girlfriend. I don’t need you to understand me, I just need you to love me.” Bucky reassures you, his voice soft.

You keep your eyes on the ground, sniffling quietly.

Bucky moves closer to you, reaching out and wrapping his arms around you. You fall into his touch, snuggling against his chest. “You’re the only thing that makes me feel human. I love Natasha, but part of me still feels like a monster when I’m on a mission. It reminds me of everything I went through. The best part of a mission is coming home to you, coming home and feeling like a human. You’re the only person who makes it all go away,” He says, cradling your head against his chest.

You allow him to hold you, soaking in his presence. The past few days have been horrible. You’ve been trying to distract yourself from the fact that your heart was breaking in two. You missed having Bucky in bed with you. You missed waking up next to Bucky.

You don’t want to be without Bucky, you want to be with him for the rest of your life. You just want him to have what he deserves. You lift your head, sniffling. “You’re sure I’m what you want?” You ask, your voice quiet.

Bucky cradles your face in his bruised hands, a smile slowly creeping across his face. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life,”

Actors Masterlist

Masterlist of Masterlists

Cowboys Don’t Cry ~ Series ~ ongoing

This Doesn’t Mean I Forgive You ~ One-shot

Forgiveness and a Little More (This Doesn’t Mean I Forgive You pt 2) ~One Shot

Sunday Morning ~ Drabble

Bad Days, Good Nights ~ One-shot