#self neglect
Continued from here
I am well aware that no one can carry 20 million dollars around with them. The money system is different in this world. Although I am American, this is not meant to be 20 million in US bills
CW: Self neglect, slavery, implied sex trafficking/prostitution
When Caretaker came back, the same orcs— at least they though they were the same— took them into the building. The same human as before sat at the card table. A smaller human sat on their knee. Caretaker didn’t think they had seen them before, but quickly realized it must be Whumpee.
Whumpee’s gaze flickered over to Caretaker’s face. Fear and confusion danced behind their eyes.
The orcs and the human finished playing through the deal while Caretaker waited patiently. At last, the human set Whumpee aside and got up, leading Caretaker back to the same side room.
“I drew up the contract.” The human passed the papers to Caretaker, who read over them carefully.
Caretaker’s eyes darkened as they read. “This is double the amount we agreed on.”
The human— Whumper, as the contract stated— shrugged. “Must’ve slipped my mind. It’s drawn up now though.”
Caretaker took a steadying breath, so as to not knock off Whumper’s head. “Fine. Unfortunately, I anticipated something like this. I still have the money to pay you right now.” With a flourish, Caretaker signed the contract. “I want a copy made up for me.”
Whumper’s expression was dumbfounded.
“Now.” Caretaker insisted.
Quickly, Whumper rushed out of the room with the contract, returning a moment later with a duplicate.
Caretaker checked to make sure it was the same, then paid Whumper and went back to the main room.
“Whumpee?”
“Y-yes..?” Whumpee squeaked.
“Show me it’s really you.”
Whumpee looked to Whumper, who stood in the doorway to the side room.
“Well, don’t look at me. They’ve purchased you. I don’t give a shit what you do anymore.” Whumper waved the words away as if they meant nothing.
Reluctantly, Whumpee shifted to their true form. Wounds and all. Except they seemed worse than two days ago.
Caretaker bit back their anger. “Come along. We’re leaving.”
“Y-you really… boughtme..?”
“Yes. Come with me.” Caretaker’s tone softened a little, but not too much. They weren’t too fond of the idea of Whumper hearing them show Whumpee kindness.
Obediently, Whumpee came to Caretaker’s side, although they stared at Whumper the whole time.
“Stop looking at me.” Whumper snapped, sitting back down to play cards.
Caretaker led Whumpee out to the streets again.
“You r-really bought me..? Like, for l-longer than just one… o-one day?”
Caretaker could slow down now that they were away from Whumper. In Whumpee’s eyes they saw some confusion, but mostly raw terror. “Yes, I did. Forever. You’ll not go back to them again, alright?” Their voice was soft now as they tried to comfort Whumpee. “Are you strong enough to keep walking..? Is it okay if I carry you?”
“I-I can walk—” Whumpee stuttered quickly, their voice shaking. “I-I can do a-anything you want— I pr-promise I’ll try to be g-good.”
Caretaker tried to keep their emotions in check. They were angry, but they couldn’t show it. Whumpee would assume it was directed at them. It wasn’t.
They simply nodded and led Whumpee down the streets. They let Whumpee set the pace, not waking faster than Whumpee did, but still guiding them down the right streets.
Whumpee’s pace slowly deteriorated until they were hardly moving and Whumpee was out of breath.
“I’d like to carry you now if that’s okay.” Caretaker said, making Whumpee stop.
“I-I can keep going— I can—”
“Unless you wantmenot carry you, I’m going to pick you up.”
“I-I… O… Okay.”
Caretaker gently swept Whumpee into their arms and carried them the remainder of the way to the car.
No. 30 - DIGGING YOUR GRAVE
major character death | left for dead | ghosts
Blood. There was blood everywhere. Fao had never seen so much in his whole life. It covered his gloved hands, soaked into his combats, blurring the desert khaki.
The smell of it haunted him, filled his nose and choked him. The coppery, metallic scent. It had never bothered him, but it did now. He looked up at her, and the blood was matted into her blonde hair, staining the precious gold a dark crimson.
He fought to save her, speaking in soothing Gaelic to the woman he loved as he barked orders to the men and women around him.
She stirred, green eyes flickering open.
“F-Fao… A-am I gonna b-be okay?”
It broke his heart, to see her scared. Alex was never scared.
“Yeah sweetie, you’re gonna be just fine. You’re gonna go home and we’re gonna buy that big house you always wanted and I’m gonna marry you. Promise. I’ll let you pick the ring yourself.“
There was nothing he could do, as her eyes shut and her heartbeat stuttered and faded to asystole. He cried out, then, starting CPR even though he knew she was a lost cause.
“Let her go, Fao.” Someone called, though Fao didn’t know who. He couldn’t let go, couldn’t watch her fade away.
“No! I can’t!” He cried. He didn’t even know how long it had been. He kept up with the CPR, struggling. His shoulders ached and his hair was in his face- he needed a haircut. He wiped his bloody hands on his trousers and tried again. He kept going, though Alex’s lips were parted and chapped and there was a trickle of crimson over the dry chapped skin.
He felt strong arms on his shoulders, pulling him away from her. He fought it, but they dragged him away. He fought and he cried and he clawed at them, but still they dragged him away.
They let him into his tent, and left him crying on his camp bed, covered in his girlfriend’s blood. He staggered to the showers, stripped off his combats and stood under the lukewarm water, trying to scrub the blood off. He was crying, sobbing as he tried to get it all off. It clung to him, the smell still choking him. He gagged and then was sick, doubled over under the water. When he was done, he shut off the water, changed into something to sleep in and curled up on his camp bed. His commanding officer came in after a while, and told him that he was on leave effective immediately. They’d send him home as soon as they could, so he could make arrangements for her funeral.
He said he’d deliver the news to Alex’s parents himself. It had to be him, in person.
He couldn’t sleep, after that. Whichever way he laid just felt wrong, so in the end he gave up. He dressed, padded outside, and sat staring up at the stars with a cigarette.
He knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, long enough that the cold seeped into his bones. He’d forgotten how cold the desert got at night.
Eventually he found his phone, and managed to get his fingers to cooperate enough to call Sheila.
He held his breath as the phone rang, waiting for her to pick up. He knew it was late for them too, she’d likely be asleep. But he needed his mum. He needed her now more than ever.
Sheila answered, half asleep but panicking as she saw it was Fao. "Hello?”
“Mumaí…”
She sat up immediately, something in his tone sending dread through her. “What’s happened, sweetheart? I’m here.”
He was quiet for a minute, trying to find the words to tell her. She was just as much Sheila’s daughter as she was Fao’s other half. He sniffed, taking a deep breath.
“It’s ‘Lex.”
She let out a quiet gasp. “Fao.”
“She’s…”
He didn’t have to say it. She could already tell. “I’m so sorry, Fao.”
His voice cracked. “She’s gone.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
He couldn’t help but start to cry again, sobs wracking his body. “She’s gone, Mumaí. Gone.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She was stuck, and gently shook Fred awake. “I’m right here.”
“‘m comin’ home.” He said softly. “Soon.”
“Of course, you’ve got to. We’ll be here, you can stay with us.”
Fred squinted at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Alex.”
“Need to… Need to tell her parents.” He managed to get out.
“Do you want to call them now?”
“No. Gonna… Gonna go see them. ‘ave to tell them in person.”
“Of course.”
He took a shaky breath, trying to pull himself together. “I miss her already.”
Sheila curled into Fred. “I know.”
“I don’t know how to…”
“Just hold on. For us. For Alex. She’d want you to.”
“Be home soon.” He said, and paused. “Zeus!” Alex’s dog would be so confused.
“He’ll have you. You’ll be okay. You both will.”
He stayed on the phone with her for a long time, mostly just sat sniffling in silence. But it was nice to know she was there, to hear her soothing him every so often.
Soon they sorted getting him back to England, and the plane journey home was agony. Even more so, knowing Alex’s body was in the hold beneath him.
He spent the whole trip curled up in his seat, trying to read but instead just staring blankly at his book. Once they landed, he dragged himself through the airport and into the coach that would take him home. To the flat he’d shared with Alex. Her stuff was everywhere, strewn across the bedroom haphazardly, as they’d packed to go away.
Unbidden, he started to cry.
He sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed. After a while, he couldn’t cry anymore, and he got up, sniffling as he tidied all of Alex’s things. Once he was done, he had a shower, smoked a cigarette and went to bed. He didn’t want to move, but he owed it to Rob, and to Helen.
It was painful to tell them, but it needed to be done. He felt better for saying it, too. Glad knowing it had been him to break the news to them, not some faceless officer they didn’t know. And they comforted him too. Helen hugged him and told him he’d always be a part of their family.
Back at home, he stripped off his dress uniform, pulled on some pyjamas and crawled into bed. He didn’t move for a week, save to go to the bathroom and to eat. Not that he ate much. Plain slices of bread, mostly. He smoked in bed, too, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Without her, there was no meaning to his life. It was an echo of those days after Finn’s accident, the complete loss of everything. The numbness, the apathy. It was like nothing in the world existed.
Sheila had tried to call in on him every day, but she was pushed away. Fred, too, was ignored, and Finn had been in no fit state to leave the house. Fred eventually convinced Sheila to give their eldest some space, but only after Fao had promised that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. They trusted him, and knew he had to grieve, one way or another. There was no right or wrong way, and Sheila wasn’t going to force him.
After a painful week, Fao heard a key in his door, then the creak of the hinges as it opened.
“Fao?” Came a voice, calling out into the dark flat. It was Tom, he thought. He rolled onto his front, not in the mood to talk to them. He heard his bedroom door open, but he still didn’t move. That was when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and he finally rolled over onto his back.
“Fuck off.”
“Fao.” That wasn’t Tom. It was Jake. He blinked open his eyes, and they were all there. Connor, Matt, Jake and Tom. The whole squad, except for Alex.
“We thought you’d need a hand. Sheila said she’d not heard from you in too long. We’re here, and we want to plan the funeral. With you.” Connor said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Yeah, so go and have a shower, and we’ll make you tea, then we’re going to sort this. All of us.” Matt told him, pulling the duvet back.
Fao didn’t have a choice. He dragged himself out of bed and into the shower, hissing as the hot water ran over the raised red scabs covering his forearms and thighs. He felt mildly better after he’d showered, and all of them headed to meet. Alex’s parents, Sheila too (Fred was at home, and whilst Sheila didn’t tell him why, Fao knew it was because of Finn), Alex’s brother, the rest of the squad.
They planned the funeral, piece by painful piece, and before Fao knew it, the day loomed.
The day before, he’d had his hair cut, and that morning he showered and shaved before pulling on his dress uniform, determined to make sure everything was perfect. The five of them in the squad, and Alex’s brother - an officer in the Air Force, carried the coffin into the church. They’d elected to keep it quite small, with only a few friends and close family. The coffin felt infinitely heavy. He couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he strode down the aisle of the little church, silently crying. He could hear the rest of his squad and Mark too, sniffing to themselves as they set the coffin down, saluted and then turned away, taking their seats. Fao sat with the family, surrounded by people he knew so well.
He surprised himself by getting through the eulogy he’d written, his voice only cracking and faltering on him once. He was glad he managed, glad he was able to give his girlfriend the send off she deserved.
He went back to Fred and Sheila’s afterwards, Fred bundling him in the car and saying something about it being too late to drive back to Birmingham. Zeus was already staying with them for now, an extra couple of days wouldn’t make any difference at all. They knew he needed his space, they had to at least try and trust him. The current state of Finn’s physical and mental health wouldn’t make things any easier, but they could have one night.
He sat on the back step of the house and smoked, lost track of how many he’d had. He needed the isolation, the distance from the rest of the family. It was well and truly dark, but as he sat out back he saw a fox trot through the garden, looking skinny but unafraid. It made him smile, despite everything, and he thought perhaps there was a piece of Alex still looking out for him. Looking out for all of them.
