#fred daniels
No. 15 - FEED A COLD, STARVE A FEVER
delirium | fever dreams | bees
Of course they’d left the trail hours ago, and of course they’d got lost. Fred was still convinced they weren’t, promising the family that it couldn’t be much longer. He’d been off searching for some ancient burial and cremation area after being tipped off by one of his colleagues’ friends near where they were staying. The rest of the family went along with him - it was easier when he got excited about another part of history. But, that had been what felt like a lifetime ago. When Finn complained his feet were aching and he wanted to go home, Fred promised just a bit longer, because they just had to see it today. Finn’s argument that they were already dead and weren’t going anywhere didn’t put him off (or make him laugh), and they continued deeper off the trails.
Sheila followed behind Fred, chatting away to her husband and trying to gently convince him to turn back. Finn, meanwhile, had decided to make the best of a bad situation. He’d found a stick bigger than him and was whacking everything he could reach, Fao included.
“Finn, I swear to God if you hit me one more time with that stick, I’m gonna snap it in half.”
“That’s not a good threat.” Sheila called. “Then he’ll have two to hit you with.”
“Not if I have one piece.”
“Then one of you will end up crying.” She said. “Finn, put the stick down now.”
“No!” Finn protested. “It’s mystick!”
“It’s fucking lethal.”
“Mum!”
“Language, Fao.”
“Come on, Mum. Aren’t you on my side?”
“Not with that language.” She chastised before turning to Finn. “I think you’ve had enough of it for now. Why don’t you pick it up on the way back?”
“No.” Finn frowned, his face screwing up. “You won’t let me have it back.”
Of course it was the one time Finn saw through her plan. “Why don’t you find a smaller stick, then?”
“Or you could just stop hitting people with it.”
The warning in Fao’s tone made him hesitate. “Can I carry it then? If I stop hitting you?”
“If you stop hitting me I don’t care what you do. But if you hit people mum will take it away from you.”
“Fine.” He groaned, returning to hitting the ground and pretending he had a sword once more.
“Youare bloody lethal.”
He spun around again with it, smacking the bushes either side of the trail Fred was following.
“Fred, how much further?” Fao whined.
“You sound like Finn!” He called to his eldest. “We shouldn’t be far.”
“You’ve been saying that for hours.”
“Welcome to my life.” Sheila laughed. “We can’t be much further, can we?”
“No, no. We just need to find the burial ground and then it’s another mile from there to where we should be.”
Sheila rolled her eyes. “You said this wouldn’t be another all day thing!”
“If Finn didn’t have to stop to pick up every rock, it wouldn’t have been.”
“At least another mile? You’re fucking kidding me.”
“Fao, language!” Sheila shook her head at him. “That’s twice in the last ten minutes.”
“It’s Fred’s fault.”
“Uh, mum?” Finn interrupted.
Fao recognised that voice, and frowned at Finn. “What have you done?”
“Bees!” Finn shouted, diving past Fao and Sheila.
“What the fuck, Finn?!”
“They’remad!”
“What did you do?!”
“I hit them!” He peeked from behind his dad. “I didn’t mean to but you said I couldn’t hit you and I hit them instead and they stung me!”
Fao swatted at a bee that got too close. “Jesus christ.”
“They’re coming for me!”
“Finn, calm down. Stop aggravating them and they won’t attack you.”
“I’m gonna be so pissed if I get stung.” Fao grumbled.
“Just keep moving.” Sheila encouraged. “Try not to anger them, keep moving and we’ll get away from them.”
“Always fucking moving.” He muttered under his breath, but kept going, away from the angry bees. Trust Finn to cause chaos.
Finn yelped, tripping over his feet. “They’ve got me!”
It was Fred’s turn to roll his eyes. “Come here, Finn. Let me have a look. You’ll live.”
Fao moved to help his brother up, too distracted to notice the bee that landed on his arm. That was, until a sharp pain hit him and he swore, batting at the insect. “Finn! I’m gonna kill you!”
No. 9 - RUMORS OF MY DEATH HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED
presumed dead | (blind) rage | tears
“Do we have to do this?” There was more than a hint of hesitation to his tone.
“We don’t have a choice. I need you to trust me.”
“But what about Fao-”
“Harrison. Please. Do this for me. Finn? He needs to die.”
Things hadn’t been the same at the Daniels, everyone moping around and just not doing much at all. Harrison and Steve had paid their respects and then quickly left, making various excuses. Jess, on the other hand, hadn’t even shown up. Her apartment was locked, and hadn’t any signs of anyone living there whenever Fred had sent someone round to check on her. Her brother promised he’d seen her, relieving some of their worry. Besides, they had so much more to worry about.
Fred hadn’t believed it at first, none of them had. But, they’d seen the body. Steve had assured them it was Finn and there was no foul play, so that was that.
Life had to go on, they didn’t have a choice but to. There was a small wake organised, closed casket, and only for the closer members of the gang. It was more formality than anything, a sign of respect for Finn, something that a lot of the previous members hadn’t been privileged enough to get.
Since Finn’s side operation had gone sideways, Steve and Harrison had gone to ground. Sure, they attended what they had to with the Daniels, but the more they could keep out of the way, the better. The cops had been far too close to arresting one of them, and they couldn’t have it. They couldn’t have Fred finding out that way, and they doubted he’d be able to get their charges cut too. Steve had to be careful too; the hospital was already suspicious of his police record.
Harrison had work to do, anyway. A loner with no alliances, he was often contacted for various other jobs. Fred knew that too, as did Finn, and always held him at arm’s length. After all, someone with such switching loyalties was just asking for trouble. He was useful for finding moles, often recognising men from other rival gangs. His alliance with Fred was stronger than most realised though, and it wasn’t ever a coincidence their names would end up on Fred’s desk, and then their bodies in the river.
Fred had organised a raid on a nearby warehouse, a front for a rival’s drug ring. While none of what he did was exactly legal, he did have standards, and spent a lot of time making sure others by their turf did the same. Certain weapons and forged documents were often passed without much guilt, but drugs were different. They had their outreach programmes, and often took a large chunk of their community help.
Harrison had agreed to go with them, an apparent favour to Fred. It was a simple enough mission for him; in and out, with just a hint of murder.
While the rest of Fred’s men dealt with the ring, Harrison slipped away. He was quiet on his feet, appearing behind his mark and quickly dragging him away. It was a swift and practiced end, though it still made his stomach twist. It wasn’t the first man he’d killed, and he knew it wouldn’t be his last. He dumped the body, hoping it would just be seen as a casualty of the raid. He strolled casually back to the rest of the fight, took a few men out that were too close and gaining on Fao, and then hopped back in Steve’s van. He’d done what he’d had to do, he wasn’t being paid for more than that.
Ever since Finn’s… Death, Fao hadn’t trusted anyone in the family. Something was going on, he knewit. He could feel it. He’d know if Finn really was gone, he’d feel it. And with Harrison sniffing around, it felt even more like something was amiss. Fao enjoyed the other man’s company, he always had done, but with Finn gone it really felt like something was going on.
Even with his suspicions, Fao had been acting recklessly. Too much alcohol, too many cigarettes. He was easy to provoke, always getting into fights, and he was happy enough to go out with Fred on this mission. It would give him a reason to get his blood up, to punch people and get away with it. He saw Harrison take out a couple of people getting too close to him, and then he just… disappeared. Gone, and he wasn’t there when the fight was over. Something had to be going on.
The raid had gone smoothly for everyone involved. Fred had silenced a rival, and Harrison had taken his mark out. It wasn’t fully finished, he knew that. It would be a few weeks before they were sure it had had the correct result, but it was a move in the right direction.
It was nervous waiting, Harrison flitting from boss to boss and finishing what he had to. When he got the call it was over, he was more than relieved. It had gone on for far too long, though luckily not as long as they’d originally planned for. Arrangements were made, weapons changed hands, and time moved on. He’d done what he needed to, murdered people he never thought he would. He never wanted to be involved like that again. He said his goodbyes to Fao, thanked Sheila and Fred for their offer to stay, and disappeared into the early evening.
The evening dragged into night, with Fao irritable and unable to sleep. He wasn’t sure who else was up, and he didn’t really care, but he headed downstairs after a few hours of tossing and turning, lighter and cigarettes in hand.
He wasn’t going to bother turning the lights on in the kitchen, but they were already on when he got downstairs, and he could hear someone moving around in there. He’d thought everyone was in bed, but maybe not. Now on his guard, he edged into the room, footsteps light on the wooden floor.
He’d not expected to see Fao so soon, and not like this. He cleared his throat. “Don’t shoot.”
Fao froze, barely believing what he was seeing.
“‘don’t shoot’?! Don’t fucking shoot?! I’ve half a mind to, now. What the fuck, Finn?!”
He laughed uncomfortably, placing the bag of crisps back on the table. “Shh, you’re going to wake everyone else up.”
“You come back from the dead and the first thing you say to me is don’t shoot?!”
“I - I’m sorry.” He softened. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“I thought you were dead, Finn.” Fao said, his voice cracking. “We had a funeral.”
“It had to be real.”
Fao’s hands curled into fists at his side. “Why? What was so awful that you had to disappear without telling me? Maybe the alcohol has caught up with me and I’m seeing things. One too many concussions. I need you to explain what’s going on, and yesterday.”
“Why don’t we take a breath?” Finn backed away slightly, his hands raised. “I’ll make coffee, we can get mum and dad up.”
“Harrison knew, didn’t he?”
“Get some biscuits, relax a bit, y'know?”
“That’s a yes, then. Who else knew? Was I the only one?!” Fao stepped closer.
“Harrison had to take me out. There was a mole, he was going to end up hurting one of you.”
“And what, you couldn’t speak to me? Your brother.Who else knew?!”
“Just Steve.” He backed further away, his back hitting the cupboards. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?”
“I didn’t want to!”
Fao closed the distance between them and grabbed Finn’s shoulders, slamming him hard into the cupboards behind him.
Finn groaned, but didn’t fight back. “Ow?”
“I could fucking kill you!”
“Go ahead.”
“Don’t be an ass.” He grumbled, and moved to pull him in for a hug. “I never want to lose you again.”
Finn hesitated before wrapping his arms around Fao. “It’s been hell.”
“You’re telling me.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, dickhead.” He mumbled. “I really need that fucking cigarette now.”
Their hug was interrupted by the hallway light flicking on and the sound of the safety flipping back on. Fred and Sheila stood in the doorway, staring in shock at the pair.
“I need a fucking drink.”
Fao laughed hoarsely. “I think we all do.”
“I brought wine?” Finn offered, holding up a bottle after rummaging through his bag. “Jess and I didn’t finish it.”
Fao reached for it. “Wine will do.”
No. 6 - TOUCH AND GO
bruises | touchstarved | hunger
Harrison’s attempt at visiting the Daniels had - obviously - gone very wrong. He’d never intended to get in a fight, and certainly not with their newest foster kid. Though he wasn’t quite sure he was just a foster. The way he acted with Finn and Fred was more like family, like an actual son. Not that he knew what that felt like.
Sheila was Sheila. She always looked out for her kids, fosters or otherwise. She’d treat them as a member of the family no matter what. Although, making him sleep in the bathroom didn’t feel very much like family. And, of course, that had nothing to do with him vomiting all over the car. Not in the slightest.
He stretched out with a groan, squinting his eyes open. Fred was still on guard, sitting at the door to keep an eye on him. He wasn’t sure if he was checking he was okay or making sure he wasn’t going to cause more trouble, but the company was kind of nice. It was more than he was used to, anyway.
He slowly sat up, his muscles protesting and stomach twisting. He had nothing left to be sick, and hadn’t eaten in a few days, so put it down to hunger rather than anything else. He hoped it was.
Fred was asleep, arms folded across his chest as he was propped up against the wall. Harrison didn’t want to wake him, he knew he’d kept him up all night as it was. Sheila was off with Fao, he’d heard her go in to see him late the night before and hadn’t heard her come back out. It only added to the suspicion that Fao had been adopted.
He struggled to his feet, shutting the toilet door; he wasn’t going to piss with Fred watching. Although, judging by the fact he wasn’t in his clothes, he assumed he already had.
“Hars? You alright in there?” Fred rapped on the door.
He jumped. “Uh, yeah. Fine. Just pissing.”
“Alright. Let me know if you need help.”
“I’m not a child.” He snapped.
“It’s the most coherent you’ve been in a few days, excuse me for caring.” Fred retorted.
“Sorry.” He finished washing his hands before opening the door. “I’m okay.”
Fred offered him a smile. “Glad to hear it. Breakfast?”
He shook his head. “Not hungry.”
“Hot chocolate, then. Come on.”
Harrison groaned, but knew better than to disagree. He followed Fred downstairs, making his way into the living room. He grabbed a blanket from the pile Sheila always kept by the sofa and curled up.
Fred wasn’t long, bringing the younger boy a mug brimming with marshmallows and a little cream. He sat by Harrison, waiting for the boy to initiate any contact. They sat in silence for a while, Harrison drinking his chocolate slowly. Fred ended up turning on the TV to fill some of the silence, hoping to alleviate some of the awkwardness.
Harrison took his time with his mug, eventually placing it on the table beside him. He still flinched at the ceramic hitting the slate coasters, taking a moment to relax. He sat back and tried to watch the TV for a bit, but he just couldn’t settle. After a while fighting it, he slowly lay down, his back almost against Fred’s leg.
Fred took his time, but slowly and carefully moved to rest his hand on Harrison’s shoulder. “There you go, kid. Just chill. You’re safe now.”
No. 5 - I’VE GOT RED IN MY LEDGER
betrayal | misunderstanding|brokennose
Harrison hadn’t seen the Daniels in years. He’d been passed from foster to foster, causing problems wherever he ended up. When his final placement fell through, he had nowhere else to go. He had no support to get on his own two feet, no education to get a job, and far too much alcohol to do much else.
His funds quickly dwindled, and nobody would help him. The little help he did get, he refused to accept it, kicking off until they left him alone. After a week of no electricity or water, he gave in, packed his bags, and headed for the Daniels.
By the time he got there, several buses and a few miles walk later, it was dark. His phone was long out of charge and he knew he should have called first, but he wasn’t that considerate. There was a chill to the air, but the alcohol kept him warm despite only being in a t-shirt. It took a few attempts to find the correct door, a few wrong answers and several angry people. He hammered on the door again, leaning against the frame.
Fao liked being home. Uni had been great when he lived away, but after Finn’s accident he needed his family, and Fao was glad to be there for him. Recovery had been slow, but he was always there to help his little brother out.
Everyone was scattered about the house when there was a knock at the door. Fred was cooking, Sheila was upstairs doing something, and Finn was apparently doing his homework (though Fao had his doubts). Fao was stretched out on the sofa reading at the time, the loud sound startling him. Were they expecting someone? Sheila hadn’t said anything.
He stood up and crossed the room to the front door, pulling it open. He didn’t recognise the boy stood in front of him, in scruffy clothes and looking slightly unsteady. He was probably a couple of years younger than Fao, but not much younger than that. He looked skinny and unkempt, and Fao frowned.
“Can I help you?”
“The fuck are you?”
“Uh, I live here?”
Harrison scowled at him. “Where’s Sheila?”
“Upstairs. You got a name, kid?”
“Fred, then.” He glanced past Fao. “Where’s he?”
“Look, who are you?”
“I don’t have to answer to you.” He swayed slightly. “Just get them, will you?”
“I don’t know who you are. Why should I get them?”
“Because I’ve asked you to.”
“I don’t even know who you are.” Fao said, folding his arms over his chest.
“So go get them.”
“I’m not just letting you walk into my house.” Fao’s voice was hard.
“Did I ask to walk in "your” house?“
“I live here, it’s just as much my house.”
"Like fuck is it. ”
“So you’re just gonna show up at the door and tell me what is and isn’t my house?”
“Fuck off with your high and mighty attitude, mate.”
“You’ve really got some balls, haven’t you? I just want to know what the fuck you actually want.”
Harrison shoved him. “I’ve told you.”
“Hey, hey. Watch it.” Fao growled, pushing him back.
“Stop being such a dick then.”
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“I’ve asked you to get Fred and you’re being an absolute dick.” He squared up to Fao. “So, yeah. You’remy problem.”
Fao pushed him back, hard. “Oh, fuck off. Stop being such a fucking cunt.”
Harrison stumbled back, tripping over the front step and landing sprawled in the driveway. “You’re the fucking cunt.”
“Yeah, whatever mate.”
He struggled to his feet. “You’re a fucking wanker.”
“Says you.”
He swung for the other boy, frustrated beyond belief. It wasn’tfair.
The other boy was slow and uncoordinated, and Fao countered his punch with his own, sharp and angry. He wasn’t taking any more shit from him.
Harrison staggered back. Fao’s punch had landed, making its mark on his cheek. Blood welled in his mouth and he swore before he spat it out. He swung again.
Harrison’s counter attack landed well, Fao reveling in his hit and too distracted to dodge. He staggered back into the hallway, reeling.
“Dickhead.” He spat.
Fao gripped the wall, his head spinning. “You’re fuckin’ insane.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be such a wanker.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t just stand there and act like you own everything!” Fao snapped, his voice harsh.
“Coming from you, that’s rich.” Harrison shook his head. “I asked for one thing and you think you rule the place.”
“Almost as if it’s my house.”
“Yeah, right.”
Fao’s cheek, where Harrison had caught him, was throbbing, and he was sure a bruise was forming already.
“You’ve yet to give me a good reason why I should let you in.”
“I didn’t ask to come in, did I?” He spat. “I asked for Sheila or Fred.”
“What do you want them for anyway? How do you even know them?”
He wasn’t going to admit that. “I just do, alright? Please.”
“I’m not getting them without knowing why.”
“For fuck’s sake!” He snapped, trying to balance himself on the doorframe. “I’ve just fucking asked you to get them!”
Fao just reacted as the other boy moved to lean on the doorframe, and swung another punch at him. He had to look out for his family.
Harrison dropped like a sack of shit, landing in a crumpled heap. He hadn’t even seen Fao’s punch coming. Sheila, on the other hand, had.
“Faolan!”
Fao wasn’t a complete arsehole, when the other boy hit the deck he moved to crouch next to him, but Sheila’s shout made him flinch. Fuck.
“Go get Fred. You’ve done enough.” Her tone was hard as she placed her hand on his shoulder. “Go on.”
“I didn’t…” He said quietly. “I jus’…”
“Move it.” She clicked her fingers at him. “Now.”
His words died on his tongue and he stood up, bolting back into the house. Guilt curled in his stomach, and he went in search of Fred.
Sheila crouched by Harrison, gently rubbing his shoulder. Blood was pouring from his nose and his lip was split. She rolled her eyes. Boys.
Harrison jerked back from her hand, disorientated and swinging immediately. Nothing landed and despite his blurred vision he recognised Sheila, reaching for her with shaky hands.
Fred was cooking, and Fao was filled with dread as he stepped into the kitchen, bravado completely drained out of him. “F-Fred?”
“What’s up, kiddo?”
“Sh-Sheila wants you. D-door.”
He turned, still half-heartedly stirring. “What happened?”
He couldn’t do much more than lamely shrug his shoulders, struggling for words. “She wants you.”
Fred knew there was more going on, but also that he wasn’t going to get any more from Fao. “Stir that. I’ll back in a minute.”
Fao nodded. He could stir, he’d be out of the way then. He moved closer, aware of the blood on his knuckles. He was shaking, virtually trembling.
Fred wasn’t long, not entirely surprised to find Sheila crouched over a very confused Harrison. It had been a few years since they’d seen him, but he’d often turn up every few years anyway. The teenager had already thrown up over the front step, though Sheila had managed to start to control his bleeding nose - it was obviously broken.
The pair helped Harrison to his feet - he didn’t weigh much, more lanky than anything- and slowly took him through to the living room. They’d have to go to hospital, there was no doubt about that, but they needed to get him sorted enough to be fine in the car.
Fao kept quiet in the kitchen, leaning against one of the counters to keep himself upright. His legs felt weak, his chest a little tight. He’d fucked up, they were going to kick him out.
Fred called for Finn before he headed back through to the kitchen. Though Fao had attempted to stir, they needed to leave and it would be ruined by the time they got back. Fao looked like he’d seen a ghost, and he had a pretty nasty bruise blossoming around his eye too.
“Grab a hoodie, She’s taking us to hospital.”
Fao startled, looking up. “‘m fine. I’ll jus’ go up to my room, out of the way.” He said quietly.
“Not a chance.”
“‘m fine.”
“Yeah? That bruise looks fine. Hoodie, car, five minutes.”
He didn’t have a choice, did he? He toyed with just hiding in his room anyway, and then thought better of it. He didn’t want to get into any more trouble. So he abandoned the cooking, and rushed upstairs to grab a hoodie, feeling distinctly lightheaded.
They’d already managed to get Harrison into the car, a dish between his legs for when he inevitably threw up. Fao was directed to the front seat, Finn shoved in the back with his mum. He wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but had quickly been distracted.
Fred turned to Fao, offering him an ice pack. “You don’t look too great. Are you going to puke as well?”
He shook his head, but took the ice. “No.”
“Are you gonna pass out on me?”
“Probably not.”
“You feel dizzy?” He checked as he pulled off the drive.
“Not really.” It wasn’t a completelie.
“So, yes.” Fred rolled his eyes. “Let me know if it gets worse.”
“Notdizzy. I’m fine.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “We’re not impressed with all of…this. We’ll deal with it later, but right now, we need to make sure you two are okay.”
“Sorry.” He looked down at his lap. “I can go back to my flat after we’ve come back.”
“We’re not having a repeat of last time.”
He made a noise in protest. “I won’t.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll get it sorted.”
“Sorry.”
“Not me you need to apologise to, is it?”
“Oh.”
“He definitely came out worse off than you.” Fred glanced at Fao. “You’ve got a surprisingly good punch on you.”
“Rugby.” He mumbled.
“Yeah. Better be careful on nights out.” He said. “Don’t want you getting in trouble.”
“‘m careful.”
“Apparently so.”
Fao was quiet, staring down at his lap, the bruises blooming over his knuckles. “Sorry.”
“Hey.” Fred reached out to rest a hand on Fao’s knee. “It’s going to be okay.”
Fao flinched, pulling away with a sharp intake of breath.
“Sorry, sorry.” Fred placed his hand back on the steering wheel.
“It’s fine.”
He hummed. “Sure. That’s why we’re driving to A&E at this time of night.”
“I don’t need A&E.”
“That one does.” He gestured to Harrison. “Kinda your fault.”
“I didn’t mean to…”
Fred raised his eyebrow. “Looks like you did.”
“I-” Fao cut himself off. “Nevermind.”
“At least we don’t need a guard dog.”
“I was only trying to…”
“Break his nose? Did a good job at that.”
“No.” He protested, his voice wavering.
“What, then?”
“Doesn’t matter, does it? Still fucking did it.”
“I’m not swearing at you, I don’t appreciate you swearing at me.” He warned.
“Sorry.” He mumbled, and decided not to say anything else.
Fred didn’t bother to reply. There was no talking to him when he was like that, and he didn’t really have the energy. Harrison was still throwing up in the back seat, Sheila having her work cut out trying to soothe him and keep Finn distracted.
Every time the other boy vomited, Fao winced. It wasn’t exactly pleasant, adding nausea to his guilt. He had half a mind to bolt when they got to the hospital, but he knew he wouldn’t get away with it.
Fred pulled in, dropping the car close to the entrance. “Fao, you go in with Sheila and Hars. I’m going to take Finn home. You can call me when you’re done.”
He nodded, pulling his hoodie closer, and got out of the car wordlessly. He waited for Sheila and Harrison, looking down at the floor.
Sheila said goodbye to her husband and son, walking the other two into the emergency reception. “I don’t know what went on between the two of you, but if you two cause any problems in the emergency department, so help me god.”
Fao shook his head. “Won’t.”
Harrison’s agreement was with his head in the sick bowl, looking up at Fao and then Sheila. “He started it.”
“Didn’t.”
“Did too.”
Fao huffed. “It’s always my fault.”
“Boys. That’s enough.”
Fao shrugged but fell silent. They headed inside and got checked in, Sheila sat between the two boys.
Harrison was seen to first, thanks to Fao knocking him out. She didn’t trust Fao not to run off, so made him sit outside the bay as Harrison was seen to. They had a bit more to check with Harrison too, the younger boy having just turned up on their doorstep.
Fao hated being stuck in the ED. Especially when he wasn’t really all that injured, and he didn’t really have Sheila for comfort. She was preoccupied keeping Harrison on the straight and narrow. It did make Fao wonder what the point of the both of them coming in was. Of course, he was stuck waiting, the A&E corridors cold and unwelcoming.
With Harrison reasonably settled in a bed in majors, Sheila headed to the corridor to find Fao. She sat heavily beside him, turning to look at the bruises on his face.
He looked over at her. “He okay?”
“Settled. How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Yeah, you look fine.”
He shrugged. “I’ve had worse. Don’t really need to be here.”
“I still want you checked over.”
“I’m fine.”
“Better than he is.”
“My fault.”
“I don’t know what happened between the two of you. That’s for you to sort out when you’re both better.”
“I fucked up.”
“I doubt it was all your fault.”
“Might as well be.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Is in Fred’s opinion.”
“Did he say that?” She asked, nudging him.
“Pretty much. Said it was my fault we had to come in.”
“Well, you did knock Harrison out.”
“So it’s all my fault.”
“Did you need to knock him out?”
“Obviously not. I didn’t mean to knock him out.”
“What were you meaning to do then?’
“I don’t know, okay?!” He snapped. “He showed up, I didn’t know who the fuck he was, he got aggy, I didn’t want someone coming in the . house when I had no idea who they are and they were acting out. He looked like he was going to force his way inside, so I swung. He’d already swung at me, so… I reacted. I didn’t want anyone getting hurt.”
Sheila was calm. "Why didn’t you get one of us?”
“I don’t know. Because he was asking for you like he owned the place. And he was drunk, it put me on edge.”
“All the more reason to get one of us. Or just walk away, shut the door and all that.”
“I thought I could handle things. Y’know, look out for everyone.”
“That’s what we’re there for.”
“It’s different. I don’t know.”
“We’re the adults. The adult adults. We’re here to look after you.”
“I jus’ wanted to look after things.”
“I appreciate that, but it hasn’t worked out too well this time.”
“I know.”
“You can’t just get away with it.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
“There has to be some punishment.”
He shrugged. “I don’t expect otherwise.”
“I know, but I don’t want it to be like it used to. The problem is that we have to have some repercussions for our actions, you know?”
“I understand that. I was never under any illusion that there wouldn’t be? I fucked up.”
“I just don’t want you to think we’re out to get you.” She said softly, leaning against him. “You were brave standing up for us, but it was just directed at the wrong person. With some stubbornness in there too, I bet.”
He shrugged. “I guess.”
“I don’t know what went on, but he’s not a bad guy, you know?” She continued. “He’s been through a lot, not unlike you.”
“He started the fight.”
“Did he?”
“He shoved me.”
“Doesn’t surprise me.”
“So forgive me for being somewhat on the defensive.”
“I don’t blame you for that.”
“But you’re still mad at me. Why can’t I just go back to my flat?”
“Because I don’t want you to go back and just cut us off.” She said, frustrated. “You go back to your flat and you get off scot free from us and you beat yourself up.”
“You keep talking about consequences. Whatever they are, I can take them, but I’d rather you stop pussyfooting around them and just tell me straight. I’m assuming you’re not going to beat the ever loving shit out of me, so I kind of need to know where I stand.”
“Of course we’re not going to hit you.“ She took a steadying breath. "Right now, I need to focus on Hars and getting him out of hospital. We can talk about the consequences when you’re back home.”
No. 30 - DIGGING YOUR GRAVE
major character death | left for dead | ghosts
Blood. There was blood everywhere. Fao had never seen so much in his whole life. It covered his gloved hands, soaked into his combats, blurring the desert khaki.
The smell of it haunted him, filled his nose and choked him. The coppery, metallic scent. It had never bothered him, but it did now. He looked up at her, and the blood was matted into her blonde hair, staining the precious gold a dark crimson.
He fought to save her, speaking in soothing Gaelic to the woman he loved as he barked orders to the men and women around him.
She stirred, green eyes flickering open.
“F-Fao… A-am I gonna b-be okay?”
It broke his heart, to see her scared. Alex was never scared.
“Yeah sweetie, you’re gonna be just fine. You’re gonna go home and we’re gonna buy that big house you always wanted and I’m gonna marry you. Promise. I’ll let you pick the ring yourself.“
There was nothing he could do, as her eyes shut and her heartbeat stuttered and faded to asystole. He cried out, then, starting CPR even though he knew she was a lost cause.
“Let her go, Fao.” Someone called, though Fao didn’t know who. He couldn’t let go, couldn’t watch her fade away.
“No! I can’t!” He cried. He didn’t even know how long it had been. He kept up with the CPR, struggling. His shoulders ached and his hair was in his face- he needed a haircut. He wiped his bloody hands on his trousers and tried again. He kept going, though Alex’s lips were parted and chapped and there was a trickle of crimson over the dry chapped skin.
He felt strong arms on his shoulders, pulling him away from her. He fought it, but they dragged him away. He fought and he cried and he clawed at them, but still they dragged him away.
They let him into his tent, and left him crying on his camp bed, covered in his girlfriend’s blood. He staggered to the showers, stripped off his combats and stood under the lukewarm water, trying to scrub the blood off. He was crying, sobbing as he tried to get it all off. It clung to him, the smell still choking him. He gagged and then was sick, doubled over under the water. When he was done, he shut off the water, changed into something to sleep in and curled up on his camp bed. His commanding officer came in after a while, and told him that he was on leave effective immediately. They’d send him home as soon as they could, so he could make arrangements for her funeral.
He said he’d deliver the news to Alex’s parents himself. It had to be him, in person.
He couldn’t sleep, after that. Whichever way he laid just felt wrong, so in the end he gave up. He dressed, padded outside, and sat staring up at the stars with a cigarette.
He knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for, long enough that the cold seeped into his bones. He’d forgotten how cold the desert got at night.
Eventually he found his phone, and managed to get his fingers to cooperate enough to call Sheila.
He held his breath as the phone rang, waiting for her to pick up. He knew it was late for them too, she’d likely be asleep. But he needed his mum. He needed her now more than ever.
Sheila answered, half asleep but panicking as she saw it was Fao. "Hello?”
“Mumaí…”
She sat up immediately, something in his tone sending dread through her. “What’s happened, sweetheart? I’m here.”
He was quiet for a minute, trying to find the words to tell her. She was just as much Sheila’s daughter as she was Fao’s other half. He sniffed, taking a deep breath.
“It’s ‘Lex.”
She let out a quiet gasp. “Fao.”
“She’s…”
He didn’t have to say it. She could already tell. “I’m so sorry, Fao.”
His voice cracked. “She’s gone.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
He couldn’t help but start to cry again, sobs wracking his body. “She’s gone, Mumaí. Gone.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She was stuck, and gently shook Fred awake. “I’m right here.”
“‘m comin’ home.” He said softly. “Soon.”
“Of course, you’ve got to. We’ll be here, you can stay with us.”
Fred squinted at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Alex.”
“Need to… Need to tell her parents.” He managed to get out.
“Do you want to call them now?”
“No. Gonna… Gonna go see them. ‘ave to tell them in person.”
“Of course.”
He took a shaky breath, trying to pull himself together. “I miss her already.”
Sheila curled into Fred. “I know.”
“I don’t know how to…”
“Just hold on. For us. For Alex. She’d want you to.”
“Be home soon.” He said, and paused. “Zeus!” Alex’s dog would be so confused.
“He’ll have you. You’ll be okay. You both will.”
He stayed on the phone with her for a long time, mostly just sat sniffling in silence. But it was nice to know she was there, to hear her soothing him every so often.
Soon they sorted getting him back to England, and the plane journey home was agony. Even more so, knowing Alex’s body was in the hold beneath him.
He spent the whole trip curled up in his seat, trying to read but instead just staring blankly at his book. Once they landed, he dragged himself through the airport and into the coach that would take him home. To the flat he’d shared with Alex. Her stuff was everywhere, strewn across the bedroom haphazardly, as they’d packed to go away.
Unbidden, he started to cry.
He sat on the edge of the bed and sobbed. After a while, he couldn’t cry anymore, and he got up, sniffling as he tidied all of Alex’s things. Once he was done, he had a shower, smoked a cigarette and went to bed. He didn’t want to move, but he owed it to Rob, and to Helen.
It was painful to tell them, but it needed to be done. He felt better for saying it, too. Glad knowing it had been him to break the news to them, not some faceless officer they didn’t know. And they comforted him too. Helen hugged him and told him he’d always be a part of their family.
Back at home, he stripped off his dress uniform, pulled on some pyjamas and crawled into bed. He didn’t move for a week, save to go to the bathroom and to eat. Not that he ate much. Plain slices of bread, mostly. He smoked in bed, too, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Without her, there was no meaning to his life. It was an echo of those days after Finn’s accident, the complete loss of everything. The numbness, the apathy. It was like nothing in the world existed.
Sheila had tried to call in on him every day, but she was pushed away. Fred, too, was ignored, and Finn had been in no fit state to leave the house. Fred eventually convinced Sheila to give their eldest some space, but only after Fao had promised that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. They trusted him, and knew he had to grieve, one way or another. There was no right or wrong way, and Sheila wasn’t going to force him.
After a painful week, Fao heard a key in his door, then the creak of the hinges as it opened.
“Fao?” Came a voice, calling out into the dark flat. It was Tom, he thought. He rolled onto his front, not in the mood to talk to them. He heard his bedroom door open, but he still didn’t move. That was when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, and he finally rolled over onto his back.
“Fuck off.”
“Fao.” That wasn’t Tom. It was Jake. He blinked open his eyes, and they were all there. Connor, Matt, Jake and Tom. The whole squad, except for Alex.
“We thought you’d need a hand. Sheila said she’d not heard from you in too long. We’re here, and we want to plan the funeral. With you.” Connor said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Yeah, so go and have a shower, and we’ll make you tea, then we’re going to sort this. All of us.” Matt told him, pulling the duvet back.
Fao didn’t have a choice. He dragged himself out of bed and into the shower, hissing as the hot water ran over the raised red scabs covering his forearms and thighs. He felt mildly better after he’d showered, and all of them headed to meet. Alex’s parents, Sheila too (Fred was at home, and whilst Sheila didn’t tell him why, Fao knew it was because of Finn), Alex’s brother, the rest of the squad.
They planned the funeral, piece by painful piece, and before Fao knew it, the day loomed.
The day before, he’d had his hair cut, and that morning he showered and shaved before pulling on his dress uniform, determined to make sure everything was perfect. The five of them in the squad, and Alex’s brother - an officer in the Air Force, carried the coffin into the church. They’d elected to keep it quite small, with only a few friends and close family. The coffin felt infinitely heavy. He couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he strode down the aisle of the little church, silently crying. He could hear the rest of his squad and Mark too, sniffing to themselves as they set the coffin down, saluted and then turned away, taking their seats. Fao sat with the family, surrounded by people he knew so well.
He surprised himself by getting through the eulogy he’d written, his voice only cracking and faltering on him once. He was glad he managed, glad he was able to give his girlfriend the send off she deserved.
He went back to Fred and Sheila’s afterwards, Fred bundling him in the car and saying something about it being too late to drive back to Birmingham. Zeus was already staying with them for now, an extra couple of days wouldn’t make any difference at all. They knew he needed his space, they had to at least try and trust him. The current state of Finn’s physical and mental health wouldn’t make things any easier, but they could have one night.
He sat on the back step of the house and smoked, lost track of how many he’d had. He needed the isolation, the distance from the rest of the family. It was well and truly dark, but as he sat out back he saw a fox trot through the garden, looking skinny but unafraid. It made him smile, despite everything, and he thought perhaps there was a piece of Alex still looking out for him. Looking out for all of them.
No. 27 - I’M FINE. I PROM…
passingout | vertigo | collapse
part 1// part 2
Fred was too drunk to drive, and Finn wasn’t allowed his licence, so they had to call a taxi while Fao travelled with the ambulance. Finn had quickly packed a bag, just some clean clothes and snacks, out of habit more than anything. He grabbed his Lion and Fao’s eeyore as a just in case.
They met Fao and Sheila at the hospital, She looking a lot worse for wear. Fao had his arm around her, letting her lean into him as she complained quietly. It was slightly amusing to him, after the many hours they’d spent with the roles reversed.
Fao looked up at the two of them as they appeared. “Hey. All okay?”
Finn rolled his eyes as he sat next to Fao. “Dad’s pissed, what do you think?”
“Bet that was a fun taxi ride. The ambulance wasn’t much better.”
“You didn’t have to have a history lesson.” He grumbled. “How long is the wait?”
“Long enough.”
Fred leaned over. “It’s a shame we’re not in Germany.”
“I dunno, my German is shocking.” Fao muttered. “Probably best we’re in London.”
“Maybe, but we could have had beer in Germany. Do you know what beer is in German? Bier.”
“Think we’ve had enough beer, Dad.”
“That’s what got you into this mess.” Finn added.
“I’m not drinking again.” Sheila groaned. “So definitely no beer.”
“Mum’s got the right idea.” Fao pointed out. “Hopefully we’re not waiting too much longer, you’re probably going to need a head CT.”
“I didn’t even pass out.”
“Maybe so, but you took a decent whack to the head and the alcohol makes it hard to see what’s drunk you and what’s head injury you.”
“But I was drunk before I hit my head.”
“I know. But it makes it difficult to tell if anything new comes up.”
She sighed, reaching a hand to touch the bandage again. “Is it still bleeding?”
“Looks it. Try not to touch.” Fao said, taking her hand.
“But I can’t see it otherwise.”
“You don’t need to see it.”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t, mum.”
“Just leave it be.” Fao said gently.
Soon enough they called her through, leaving Fao and Finn to coral both drunk parents. It wasn’t exactly easy, and it was safe to say Fao understood quite how they’d met, now. Drunk Fred would definitely throw up in a plant and end up marrying the person the plant belonged to.
Sheila’s scans were clear, and they were satisfied it was just a simple head injury. They’d left the family waiting in a cubicle while they checked over the scans, and so the nurse returned with an apology.
“Sheila Daniels? I’m just going to do a quick set of observations and then we’ll get started on stitching you back up.”
“Does it really need stitches?” Fred asked from the corner, feeling rather worse for wear and just wanting to be anywhere but hospital. “Can’t you just glue it? Get it done.”
The nurse smiled. “Stitches are better for this one, I’m afraid. Won’t take long.”
“Quickly, then.” Fred said to the floor.
“We’ll get you all home soon. It’s late, isn’t it?”
“We were all ready for bed, I think.” Fao said, rubbing Sheila’s arm.
“I’m definitely ready for bed.” Sheila agreed.
“Just a few stitches, and we’ll be sorted.” Fao told her.
The nurse was quick with the obs, and then set out her stuff to stitch. “Alright Sheila, just a sharp scratch, okay?”
She nodded. “Sorry. Meant to be still, aren’t I? I’m ready.”
“That’s alright, it’s instinct to nod, isn’t it?” She reassured, and once she was still and settled, she set about giving the local. “That’s it, well done.”
Fred had only been growing more pale with the discussion of stitches, but as soon as she started injecting the local, it was too much. His legs gave out and he dropped to the floor, Finn desperately trying to keep him from smacking his head.
“Dad?”
Fao looked up just to see Fred hit the floor, Finn doing his best to stop him. “Oh, shit.” He muttered, rushing over. “Nothing’s ever simple with this family.”
More doctors quickly swarmed the room, checking Fred over. He wasn’t entirely sure what had happened, but a quick glance at Sheila made things clear. The sight of the needle made his stomach flip and he passed out again.
Fao gave a hand where he couldn’t, murmuring that he was a registrar up in Birmingham. There wasn’t a lot they could do, but he urged the nurse to get Sheila sorted quickly.
“I’ll stay with dad.” Finn promised as they were separated, shooting his mum a small smile. “Won’t be long.”
“It’ll be alright.” Fao reassured.
Fred came to with a sore head and Finn staring down at him rather disapprovingly. “Is there something you want to say?”
“I’m not the biggest fan of needles.” He admitted quietly.
No. 21 - THAT’S WHERE THE BLOOD’S SUPPOSED TO BE
bleeding through the bandages | pressure | blood-matted hair
It had been a rare evening Sheila and Fred had to themselves, making the most of it and heading out for drinks. Fao had been more than happy to babysit Finn, though Finn argued that at sixteen he didn’t need babysitting.
They were both rather drunk when they returned home, the taxi driver all too happy to drop them off.
While Sheila headed upstairs to get changed, Fred nipped outside for a smoke to settle his stomach. He was better than when he first met Sheila, but he’d never say no to a quick break.
Fao was on the phone to Alex when his parents got in, and he could tell Sheila was drunk from the way she laughed as she got in.
“Hang on a sec, ‘Lex.” He said, and stuck his head out of his bedroom. “Good time?” He called, amusedly.
“Oh, shush you.”
“I’m not holding your hair back when you puke your guts up later.”
“I’m not you.”
“Hey! I’m good!” He protested, but let her get on, returning to his girlfriend on the phone.
Sheila rolled her eyes (a bad decision considering how the room already span) and headed in to get changed. Fred wouldn’t be too long, she was sure, so she had to hurry to grab a shower before he decided to hog it all.
Now Fred and Sheila were home, Fao headed downstairs and outside for a smoke before bed, after saying goodnight to Alex. He was unsurprised to find Fred out there already, and grinned at him as he lit his cigarette.
“Enjoyed yourself?”
Fred hummed. “Was nice to have some time out.”
“I bet.”
“She got a bit tipsy.”
“So did you by the looks of it.”
“I’m completely fine.”
“Yeah?”
“Could walk in a straight line, all that bullshit.”
“Mmhmm. Sure, sure.”
“Wanna see?”
“Nah, I believe you. Probably best not to go wandering into the pitch black garden.”
“I’ve only fallen once while gardening.” Fred said confidently.
“Let’s keep it that way, not tempt fate.”
“Sure, sure.” He lit another cigarette. “Keep fate where it is.”
“She will kill you if she catches you chain-smoking.”
“I’ve had two. That’s not a chain.”
“Might as well be.”
“It’s not a chain.”
“Sure.”
Content he’d won his argument, Fred settled back into silence, enjoying his smoke. After a while, he stumped the end out, leaving it on the side.
“I’m getting a tea. Want one?”
“How about I make one, you just sit and chill.”
He hummed. He wasn’t going to pass up on Fao doing the hard work. “Sounds good.”
“Then the sober person is in control of the hot water.”
Fred huffed at him. “Yeah, whatever.”
Fao finished his cigarette and headed inside, filling the kettle and flicking it on. He didn’t exactly trust Fred.
Fred had just sat down to relax when there was an almighty thud from upstairs. He jumped to his feet, swaying as he tried to balance himself.
“Finn? Was that you?”
Fao frowned. “Didn’t sound like Finn… Finn?! Mum?!” After no response, he turned to Fred. “Stay put, I’ll go and see what’s going on.”
Finn met Fao at the top of the stairs, half asleep and very confused. “What’s going on?”
“Oh, it wasn’t you.” Fao said, glancing at Finn. “Heard a thud.”
“Yeah, me too.” Finn frowned, worry creeping in. “Mum?”
“She’s pissed as anything.” Fao told him, pushing the bedroom door open. “Mum? You okay?”
“No.” She admitted dramatically, sat on the ensuite bathroom’s floor, her head in her hands. “No.”
Fao rushed in. “What’s wrong, what’s happened?”
“I slipped.” She said with a sigh, before smirking. “I went splat.”
There was blood on the edge of the sink, and a significant amount on Sheila’s top, too. Sighing, Fao crouched in front of her. “Yeah, looks like you did. Here, let me have a look at you, hmm?”
“Oh I’m fine.” She brushed him off.
“Mum, you’re bleeding. Let me look.”
“I am. I slipped.” She raised her hands, covered in blood, to her face as she tried to wipe the blood dripping down it. “I’m bleeding.”
“Do we need an ambulance?” Finn asked, slightly panicked.
Fao glanced up. “We’ll need to go in regardless. Probably best to call one?”
“No, no. I’m fine.” Sheila insisted trying to stand up.
“Hey, hey. Wait. You’ve probably given yourself a pretty solid concussion. Don’t want you standing up too quickly and falling over again, eh?”
“I’m not Finn.” She said confidently. “I just slipped.”
“At the very least you’re going to need stitches and a scan.”
“Oh no.”
“Might as well go in an ambulance, rather than getting blood in my car, hmm?” Fao said, twisting to look at his brother. “Can you grab the first aid kit?”
Finn disappeared into the main bathroom to grab it. There were a few left around the house, and were always in reach.
“Here.”
“Thanks.” Fao said, taking it from him. “I just want to try and stop this bleeding a bit…”
“Ow!” Even drunk, she felt it as Fao pressed against her head. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah, I know it hurts. But I need to do it, yeah? Stop you bleeding so much.”
“No. It hurts. Please stop.”
“Sorry Mum, it needs doing.” Fao said gently. “Try some deep breaths.”
“No, get off.” She pulled away. “I’m fine.”
“I know, I know.”
“Fao, I’m fine. Get off.” The evening’s earlier merriment had quickly disintegrated.
“Mum, you’re fucking bleeding.”
“Iknow.”
“So let me help you?”
“Do you have to ?”
“Do you want to bleed everywhere?”
“No.”
“In that case, I’ve gotta help you.”
“Is it bad?”
“It’s gonna need stitches.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Who’s the doctor here, eh?”
“Does it really need stitches?” The bandage done, she shuffled away from Fao, trying to get up.
“It does, yeah.”
“Fred can drive me.” She turned to face Fao, and finally stood. “I’m fine.”
“He’s drunk too, Mum.” Fao said gently. “Just wait for the ambulance.”
“You called an ambulance?” She sighed heavily, looking at Fred standing behind Finn. “And you let them?”
“Finn’s very persuasive.” He defended.
“Better they come and give us a hand, eh?”
Sheila made her way past Finn, scowling at the pair. “I didn’t need an ambulance.”
“Mum, sit down for me, yeah?”
“They can’t see me like this!”
“They’ve seen much worse.” Fao said drily. “They see Finn all the time.”
“Hey!”
“I don’t care. I need to get changed. Out.”
“I don’t want to leave you. Let me help you?”
Her expression twisted into disgust. “No.”
“I’m not that bad!”
“I don’t need your help!”
“It’ll be quicker if we help you.”
“No.” She crossed her arms, not unlike Finn. “No.”
“Come on, Mum.”
“Fao, I’ve said no.”
“What do you want to get changed into? What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?”
“It’s covered in blood!”
“They won’t care, we’ll just bring you some fresh stuff for when you get to the hospital.”
Frustrated tears sprung to her eyes. “Just let me change!”
“Alright, alright. Let me get you some stuff out, then.”
“Thank you.”
“We’re not bleeding so much now, hmm? Looks like that dressing I’ve got on has sorted things for the time being.” Fao said, reaching into the drawers for some comfy clothes for Sheila.
“I feel like a pirate.”
Fao couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah?”
She nodded solemnly. “Yeah.”
“It’s not for long.” He placed the clothes next to her. “Are you sure I can’t help you?”
“I’m sure.”
“Can I stay in the room and turn my back. Just in case you need anything?”
“No.” She’d made her mind up, and was stubborn as anything.
Fao glanced at Finn somewhat desperately. He really didn’t want to leave her alone.
“Mum, you do the same for me. Please?”
“No.” She stood her ground. “Just let me change.”
“Come on, mum. Please?”
“Why do you hate me?”
“We don’t hate you.”
“Youdo.” She sighed dramatically.
“We just want to look after you.”
“Let me get changed then!” She sniffed, wiping the tears running down her cheeks.
Fao reached out to wipe her tears away. “Hey, hey. Come on, let’s not have tears.” He said softly. “It’s alright.”
She turned away. She didn’t want his pity.
“Come on, Mumaí.”
It had been forever since he’d called her that. She lowered her gaze with a soft sigh, the fight completely gone. “Okay.”
He pressed a kiss to her hair, where it wasn’t matted with drying blood. “I’ve got you.”
With Sheila no longer actively fighting Fao, things moved a lot smoother. Clothes were changed and she was gently helped downstairs, Finn and Fao on either side.
She was only growing more dizzy, something she wasn’t sure was just the alcohol. Despite Fao telling her off, she kept pressing her fingers to her bandage, but it hurt. Eventually, she listened, leaning heavily into Fao with a quiet sigh. This wasn’t how she’d expected the evening to go.
It was a little wait, but the ambulance arrived within the hour. As Finn disappeared to open the door, Sheila absentmindedly pressed her fingers against the bandages, frowning as she pulled her hand away again. Her fingers were wet with fresh blood, bleeding through the bandage Fao had wrapped around her. She turned worriedly to Fao, her palm stretched out.
“Fao?”
Fao turned to her with a frown, then noticed the blood on her fingers. “Oh, we’re bleeding through? Head wounds like to bleed a lot, hmm? It’s okay, the ambulance is here now. They’ll help us get it sorted.”
“But it’s bleeding again.”
“We’ll put something on top, don’t worry.”
The ambulance crew stepped into the room, somewhat amused by the fact Finn was up and opening the door for them. After a little light teasing, they got another dressing over the stubbornly bleeding wound, and then they headed into hospital.
No. 20 - LOST & FOUND
Fao knew he’d fucked up. That much was infinitely obvious. He wished he’d not punched the kid, he knew you couldn’t go around just punching people. He wasn’t an idiot. But Harrison had been obviously drunk, refused to tell him what was going on, and then made to get into the house. Sure, he overreacted, but did he really deserve to be punished? He was an adult. Things were over with now, it would make more sense to just move on and get on with life.
But no. Whilst Fred and Sheila knew domestic chores were off limits as a punishments, he was expected to stay home for the week and look after Finn. He usually didn’t mind helping to look after his brother - he was sweet, always made Fao laugh, and was the little brother he’d always wanted - but getting him up and ready for school when he didn’t want to go was exhausting. Not to mention full on Uni days. It would be easier if he was in his flat, but apparently he wasn’t trusted on his own. He appreciated that Fred and Sheila looked out for him, but it was frustrating.
When he wasn’t looking after Finn or in lectures, Fao kept himself to himself. He made the excuse that he had work to do, but in truth he didn’t want to bump into Harrison, didn’t want to deal with Sheila’s somewhat pitying, somewhat irritated glances.
Sheila knew better than to push it with Fao, especially when he decided to confine himself to his room, but she couldn’t help worry about him. Finn was never easy, and telling him to be good? Almost a guarantee to do the opposite.
Harrison needed a place to crash, and after promising he’d be good, do better, the Daniels let him stay. It wasn’t the first time he’d had respite there, but it was a bit more urgent than normal. The authorities were notified, and days went on. Harrison was careful around the house, trying to only walk around with Sheila or Fred nearby. He was skittish at the best of times, but Fao had entirely pushed that over the top. And he was going through another withdrawal, which made everything so much worse.
Fao had been at uni for what felt like forever, stuck in a stuffy lecture hall trying to take in so much information it made his brain hurt. He was looking for a change of pace at rugby practice, before he realised Sheila had told him to come straight home - no practice. So he drove home in a mood, slammed the door on the way in, stormed into his room and stayed there, refusing to acknowledge any of them.
Fred let him cool off for a little while before he tried to speak to him. He knocked gently on the door. “Fao?”
Fao looked up from his notes. “What?”
“Good afternoon to you, too. I came to see how you were.”
“I’m fine. Got loads to do.”
“Looks like it.” Fred moved to stand inside. “You slammed the door pretty hard.”
He shrugged. “Wind caught it.”
“A lie if I’ve ever heard one.”
“It’s fine. I’m just busy.”
“So you’re staying in your room again?”
“Yeah. I’ve got work to do.”
“So that’s why you’ve been stuck in here for the past week?”
“I’ve got exams and stuff. And then placement coming up, I have to revise.”
“And this has nothing to do with Harrison? ”
“Like I give a shit about him.”
“He’s still in your space.”
“And? I’m stuck here anyway. Doesn’t matter where I spend my time. Can’t see my friends, or go to rugby. Might as well just study, I’ve got enough on over the next couple of weeks.”
“Alright, alright. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
“You asked.”
“I came to see if you were okay.”
“I’m fine. Would be better if you let me go back to my flat.”
“And how would you get Finn up in the morning?”
“He doesn’t fucking get up anyway.”
“Language. You know what he’s like.”
“Whatever.”
“Fao, we’re on your side.”
“I’m really not interested in having this conversation right now, Fred.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tired and I’ve got a headache and I just want some peace and quiet and some space to myself!” He exclaimed, frustrated.
Fred sighed. “Alright.” He turned and left, shutting Fao’s door. He didn’t have the energy.
Fao was glad to be left alone, quiet settling over the room. He returned to his books, trying to concentrate on his work. He liked his space, he liked the quiet. Especially now, when the house felt wrong. It was better when he was alone. It always had been.
