im replaying rdr2 and i just got that camp interaction where micah flaunts that he contributed money and we should all thank him.
buuut, i just found out that’s not all there is to that scene? like i started greeting everyone in camp right after and when i reached Strauss, Arthur instead said “did you see Micah put anything in the box?”
Strauss said “No, I did not”
and i was laughing cuz wow that boi just got exposed omg i can’t believe how much im still finding in this game
Wait, seriously?? That guy talked such mad sh*t about contributing and didn’t even have the capital to back it up?
after [assuming there is an “after” in the foreseeable future] the war how will sports governing bodies go about reinstating russian competitors?
i feel like unless it ends in abject defeat of the russian military with the ones who survived being driven out of ukraine with their tails between their legs, russian athletes will still not be reinstated lmao. at least not immediately. and even eventually, not without conditions
its just such an unprecedented move that theres nothing to base any predictions or reasonable speculation off of. “unprovoked warfare” has been waged before in the post-wwii era just not against a european country so this time it counts i guess lol but nothing like a blanket ban of athletes from a country with a population in the 9+ digits has happened before (at least not to my knowledge offhand)
if you’re going to punish athletes simply for being born in a certain country that moved to commit atrocities and crimes against peace, and that country comes out of the conflict they started “victorious” (however that might look), how can you justify reinstating them in international competition after that? what is the reasoning behind it? a peace treaty being signed, but the clear victor being the aggressor, so the war is “over” but the russians got their way, so its fine to have russian athletes compete again? if it ends in occupation and/or a puppet govt, wont the russian athletes be symbolic of that as well?
the more you pull at this thread the more it all unravels lol
I promised @cosmiccluck some Leverage fic recs and I’m going to partially make good on that promise this evening but not entirely.
FIRST, I am going to send you straight to @bluemeridian‘sLeverage recs, because while I have not read all of them, I have utter faith in Blue’s fic-picking abilities so I’m pretty sure whatever they recommend is worth reading.
SECOND, I am going to warn you that I am being unobjective when I say that bydaybreak andletsgostealafandom write good fic, because they are my friends, but also they are good writers, so do with that information what you will.
THIRD, I will come back with some other recs of my own but not tonight, my evening has gotten away from me. Everyone else feel free to jump on into comments or reblogs and tell cosmiccluck what to read, they just finished the show today and are ready to dive in to the wonderful world of fic.
thanks! way ahead of you on @bydaybreakand@letsgostealafandom and oh god my heart hurts so much, don’t worry i’m here with fluff, i can guarantee 100% fluffy fanart, why is hannibal dark with a crack fandom and leverage is all lolz with fandom filled with angst to bursting??? pls promise some sunshine and rainbows? i’ll search for some on that reclist
1. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh you are so nice!!! Getting recced is literally the most rewarding thing that ever happens to me. Like I still remember That Time Someone Recced My Fic from when I was in Forever Knight fandom. It was like over a decade ago. So probably I will love you for life, just sayin’.
2. I am pumped for fluffy fanart, ngl. I keep trying to write fluffy fic and two thousand words later it’s like “WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING HOW DID THIS HAPPEN ALL I WANTED WAS FOR ELIOT TO GET A DOG.” (true story: the fic is half written because I was so confused by what a clusterfuck eliot-gets-a-dog turned out ot be.)
3. Oh man also I have a theory about dark fandoms with cracky fic and cracky fandoms with dark fic and things? Like, I think that we look for fic to fill the holes that the show left, and one type of hole is the emotional hole? So like. If you’ve got a cracky show, you don’t necessarily want more cracky fic, you kinda want darker fic to explore the things the show can’t. And if it’s a super dark show (*cough*Hannibal*cough*) then cracky fic makes sense because you’re not getting that lightness from canon. I think it’s why like. Farscape fandom never had a lot of fic, because the show was fucking perfect in that regard. It managed to balance crackiness with darkness with seriousness with lilghtness in almost every episode. It was fucking amazing and I loved it and I have zero desire to read fic for it because of that, I think.
OH GOD THEN THE PANIC WHEN ONE OF THEM GOES ‘SILENT’
s c r e a m i n g
Like, they’d learn pretty damn quickly what it feels like in their heads when Eliot has a concussion, what it feels like when he’s been knocked out and they need to go rescue him (which, okay, has happened, like, once, in the entire time they’ve been connected, but still.) It was terrifying at first, because lbr concussions do not feel great, and being knocked out is like a concussion combined with a bad trip for Eliot.
But they’ve never felt the complete and utter panic they felt when Eliot is just… gone. They’re both stuck on the same thing, obvs. That Eliot is dead, that they had failed at protecting him, that if the telepathy couldn’t tell them when he needed them then what fucking good was it?
And like. They race to the last place they knew Eliot was, because fuck. Fuck. They can at least- They can’t give him a proper burial, but they can… do something. Except he’s not there.
Hardison has never been so glad for sticking a tracker in everyone’s shoes than he is right then.
So they find him, fight their way through a bunch of Bad Guys, because it’s for Eliot, so obvs they are desperate and ruthless enough to just. Cut a path through them, figuratively.
And they’re finally at the room his body’s in, and they both pause outside the door because neither of them knows if they can do this. They’ve been holding the panic at bay by like. Concentrating on getting to him. But now that they’re almost there… Parker looks like she’s about to cry, and Hardison is kinda shaky. And finally, they’re like, we have to go in and they force themselves to open the door.
Eliot is strapped down to a chair, and drugged to the gills, but very, very obviously alive. Just… not conscious.
And, idk, they beat up the scientist after making sure it’ll wear off. And when Eliot comes to back home, there is a lot of, like. Clingyness and residual panic because now they know what it’s gonna feel like, when Eliot finally is killed. How there’s gonna be just an empty spot in the back of their brains, a dead spot that they can feel all the time.
That night, while Eliot’s sleeping and Parker and Hardison are both too keyed up to actually sleep, they make a pact, that no matter what, Eliot’s not gonna die without them. They change together, they die together. Full stop. Because living with that empty space… it’s literally unbearable. And stuff.
OTHER THINGS I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT: How this would affect – and how they would be affected by – Eliot’s PTSD. (Like, we can agree that the flashbacks in s1 aren’t actually funny, right? Because like, yeah, he’s learned to shake them off p quickly, but they’re still- Like, you know?)
Parker’d probably be the most jumpy getting Eliot’s flashbacks, and Hardison would be calm but really fucking disturbed, even hours later.
As far as dealing with it, all the h/c with Eliot’s PTSD, man. All the h/c. Like Parker attempting (and miserably failing) to make his favorite foods for him. Hardison knowing if Eliot wants or doesn’t want to be touched/alone and giving Eliot what he needs.
But above all, them making it clear that Eliot should never, ever apologize for the flashbacks. Eliot still feels guilty for subjecting Parker and Hardison to them, and Parker and Hardison knows he feels guilty, but they never blame him for his trauma.
(and thank you yes I agree s1 flashbacks were a little stilted)
Also other things I thought of randomly in regards to telepathic!Leverage:
- Hardison singing tunes that have been stuck in Eliot’s head, which used to bother him since bluegrass/country wasn’t his thing but now he doesn’t really mind anymore
- Eliot getting headaches when Hardison is doing some hardcore computer hacking and has been staring at a screen for x hours
- Parker driving Eliot up the wall with something annoying, like a phrase or an expression that she loops on repeat until he blows his top
- Hardison and Eliot reminding Parker to speak, because when you can read minds you sometimes forget and it’s easy for Parker to stop speaking altogether
- there are no such things as passwords. Or safe words.
- Parker picking up various languages from Eliot
- When one of them gets drunk the others (especially Parker) find everything funny and will randomly start sniggering at things like household objects or everyday words
dammit I’m supposed to be outlining this fic (which operates oddly along the same vein, a little)
MOTHER FUCKER I JUST HAD A WHOLE HUGE POST HERE AND TUMBLR ATE IT I AM SO MAD. I will try to reconstruct. Jesus christ.
SO. I definitely think you are right that Eliot would feel awful about Parker and Hardison having to see his memories. Like, he has done some awful shit, and they don’t deserve to have to see that. Especially some of the more terrible memories that leave even him kind of shaken up for a while afterward. (And yes, every sentence in this paragraph is carefully worded to mean exactly what you think it means.)
But I also think that Eliot would never, ever, ever, admit that he has ptsd. Or even like, begin to consider that he has ptsd. I feel like he’d feel that ptsd is for people who have really had bad shit happen to them. That ptsd is for people who… idk how to phrase this right. People who don’t deserve it? I guess? Like, sometimes life hands good people shit cards. But he is not a good person.
And, I mean, he thinks ptsd is a real and valid thing, and a reasonable response to shit, and like, he doesn’t look down on people with ptsd. ,It’s just… not something he has.
He just has really vivid memories sometimes, is all. And, yeah, there are ways he doesn’t like to be touched and things Parker and Hardison learn not to do, but everyone is like that. I mean, there are things Parker doesn’t like them doing, ways she doesn’t like them touching her. So, you know. It’s normal. Not ptsd.
And I also think that Hardison would bring it up once (and only once) and Eliot would basically have a total shouting meltdown at him about how disrespectful he’s being to people with real problems, etc. Probably they would actually fight about it, like really fight that leaves them both angry for days, and then Hardison would never mention it again.
Ialso think that Eliot would like. Be so Not Okay with anyone trying to… do nice things for him? After one of these memories has surfaced? Like, it’s not a big deal and he should be doing some caretaking of them because they had to experience it too, and they… they don’t deserve that. So he would be super terrible about accepting any comfort. Like, at all. Because if anything, he should be punished for subjecting them to his stupid bullshit.
Probably, a lot of the time, he would just leave right after, ostensibly so they couldn’t try to be kind to him, but really because he’s so ashamed of… whatever.
re: languages, I totally bet Parker is about languages the same as she is about like. Art. Like, “I thought everybody could do that” sort of thing. So, yeah, obviously she picks up a bunch of different languages from Eliot, Hardison has too! And Hardison is just like um babe, I definitely haven’t.
OTHER THINGS: now I am thinking about how each of them would deal with the lack of privacy. Because even Hardison needs time that is just him. Not as much as Parker and Eliot, sure, but still. And, weirdly, he’s the one who learns to kind of… block them out first. Like, he doesn’t go silent, they can still feel that he’s there, but they can’t get any actual thoughts off of him.
Both of them find it wildly upsetting, to varying degrees, because what did they do? And Hardison is like nothing? I just needed some me time. Weren’t y’all just complaining the other day about how there’s no privacy anymore?
So, you know, he teaches them how to do it, and now that Parker’s gotten used to being able to see things in their heads, she’s actually the one who uses it the least? Because like. It turns out knowing intent and what people expect of her – especially because Hardison and Eliot don’t expect anything she’s not willing to give – is oddly calming?
And Eliot, at first, tries to use it all the time. Because they don’t- He’s just got so much nasty shit in his head, they’re probably relieved that they don’t have to have it as background radiation anymore. He can’t always control it during one of those really intense memories – he thinks he just has to practice more, but…. – but, you know, overall, he uses it all the fucking time.
And then Hardison and Parker come to him and are like um, do you want us to undo it? like we can go back to the lab and probably get them to-
Which, what the fuck? Of course he doesn’t want them to undo it, they almost died adding him to their little telepathic ring, why would he want them to cut him out again??
And probably Hardison would be the one to explain that he, you know, seemed like he… didn’t really want to be connected to them anymore. Like maybe the fun had worn off and he wanted out. Since he was always blocking them.
And Eliot is just like … at them, and once again feels bad because once again he’s fucked up and once again they’re being so fucking nice about it. But, you know, etc.
I have so many other feelings but this post is too long as it is. But let me tell you, this trashfic is definitely what I’m working on next.
Sometimes I still have and struggle with the old thoughts I had about my weight but honestly? That was almost entirely directed at myself. Idk how y'all got into this fucking thinspo and fatspo shit.
Maybe it’s just because I understood that fat is just stored energy for your body and is important like any other part of you.
Or that our bodies are naturally designed to store energy to different degrees and people being fat comes from various influences, including but not limited to genetics.
Or that being skinny wasn’t automatically healthier than being fat and came with its own array of health problems. (How many of you have fainted from starving/malnutrition? Raise ur hands! It almost landed me in a hospital twice! Maybe more, only two stood out.)
Or that aesthetic values shouldn’t jeopardize one’s health. Most beauty standards like skinny being most healthy are bullshit designed for someone else to profit from our suffering. (See above! How is that healthy?)
Or maybe I just understand that people deserve basic respect and there are so many reasons that fat people are fat.
Either way… You have no right to judge a person’s health or worth at a glance just because you feel disgusted at the thought of yourself being fat. You have no right to treat other people like garbage for their appearance just because you feel like shit in your body. Your ED is an illness. You are not healthy. Your mindset is bad because it harms you. In fact, you are likely more unhealthy than the people you make fun of to encourage yourself and your EDs.
Being skinny does not make you better or healthier than fat people. If you’re gonna hate your body, don’t drag others down trying to bring yourself up. It will have a different effect on you than you think it will. I’ve been there. I’m still there. That’s why I know what you’re doing is wrong and harmful.
i remember the first time i played undertale, my brain immediately accepted frisk simply as “the human” who’s only referred to by they/them pronouns, because that’s the most natural thing ever. so when i saw popular ut fanarts and comics after that i’m pretty sure i experienced cognitive dissonance.
anyway be loud and obnoxious and fun with your interests. post abt nothing but them. make posts you’re gonna be embarrassed about later. draw fanart. write fanfiction. talk to your friends about aus and shit that makes you laugh. buy shit bc you want to look like a fictional character even if you’re going to be giving it away at some point in the future. let yourself enjoy things in a “cringey” way bc life is short dude and anything that brings you joy like that is worth doing as long as it’s not hurting people.
Shoutout to people with normal nightmares like running from ghosts or whatever. I give birth to kittens, am cryogenically frozen, and brought back to help with their - now very human - sex/love lives twenty years later. Or I exorcise someone so hard that I wake myself up.
Y’all are getting out of the hours of questioning my mental health after waking up from a nightmare.
