Now that I’ve been sucked into the Dracula Daily side of tumblr, allow me to blast this song by @shipwreckedcomedy on repeat while I wait for new installments
My entry for Shipwrecked Comedy’s Headless Series Fic contest. I’ve always loved the Socially Awkward Poe video where Edgar and Lenore try to write out the invitation to announce the series. So I figure I’d give it a bit of a twist for Shipwrecked’s latest project. I’m posting it here below but I’ve also uploaded it to my ao3page.
Summary: Ichabod Crane is new in town (cue John Mulaney voice) and decides he wants to throw some sort of social gathering so he can get to know people that aren’t his roommate, the infamous Headless Horseman.
Note: I have no clue how the Shipwrecked gang is actually going to be doing this aspect but it’s my Headless headcanon (badum tss) that the Headless Horseman can’t actually talk unless he has a head and therefore makes use of AAC (alternative/augmentative communication) in order to communicate with others. The speech language pathology student in me couldn’t pass up this opportunity especially since we don’t really get to see that kind of thing much in media.
Ichabod Crane’s game night VIP barbecue picnic for neighbors luncheon
Ichabod Crane had arrived in the quaint town of Sleepy Hollow only a few days ago. He was to begin as a science teacher at the highschool in a few weeks. Until then, he hoped to make some connections and possibly friendships with the townsfolk. As of yet this had not proved very successful, his only real connection beyond the most basic of acquaintances was his new roommate.
For lack of a better idea Ichabod decided that he could throw some sort of social gathering for the whole town in hopes of getting to better know the residents of Sleepy Hollow. Well okay, maybe one resident in particular more than others.
Ichabod settled himself at the kitchen table and opened up his laptop. He opened up a blank word document to start writing an invite.
“Greetings fellow Sleepy Hollow citizens…wait no… Sleepy Hollow folk…Sleepy Hollowans?” Ichabod muttered to himself as he typed away, erasing and composing increasingly worse attempts at a greeting.
“Oh my God you’ve been writing the first sentence for the past 15 minutes please for the love of everything unholy just move on.”
Ichabod jumped at the sound of his roommate’s voice coming from the living room. Well, not exactly his actual voice. Being the Headless Horseman, his roommate didn’t exactly have a mouth to speak with. Instead he used the text to speech function on his phone or a specialized app to communicate verbally when he needed to. Ichabod still didn’t understand how his roommate could hear him since he obviously also didn’t have ears but he’d learned to stop asking questions. Despite being a man of science he had decided to let it go lest he go insane at the anatomical implications involved in his roommate’s literal lack of a head.
“Sorry, I hadn’t even realized you were here,” Ichabod said, feeling rather flustered.
“Well I was trying to have a nap but who could with you yammering away forever,” the Headless Horseman, or HH as Ichabod had started calling him, replied, audibly annoyed. “What are you even going on about anyway?”
“Oh, I’m trying to write up an invite for a party,” Ichabod answered.
“You? Throw a party?” HH responded, followed by some sort of odd wheezing sound that might have possibly been a laugh.
“Well maybe not a party,” Ichabod conceded, though he didn’t appreciate his roommate’s tone. “I was thinking maybe more along the lines of a picnic. I hear the weather is supposed to be nice this weekend.”
“The weather is never nice in Sleepy Hollow,” HH stated. “And I hate to break it to you but the only place nice enough for that in this town is the cemetery.”
“A barbecue then?” Ichabod asked, scrambling for different ideas.
“You and what barbecue?” HH retorted. “Besides I wouldn’t trust you near an open flame.”
“Excuse you but I’m a science teacher!” Ichabod exclaimed, as if this explained everything. “I’ve used a Bunsen burner countless times. I can’t imagine it would be very different.”
“That still doesn’t change the fact that we don’t own a barbecue,” HH reminded him.
The exchange went on for some time, Ichabod throwing out every possible type of social gathering he could think of, only for his roommate to shoot down every single one categorically.
“Well what about a game night? Or maybe even a murder mystery dinner party?” Ichabod said, seriously starting to run out of ideas.
“Dude no that’s totally lame. And before you say it, no Gatsby themed party either this isn’t a film noir or whatever,” HH added, finally coming into the kitchen and sitting down at the table across from Ichabod.
“Ugh you are absolutely impossible!” Ichabod cried out, thoroughly frustrated.
“Why are you even bothering making such a big deal over organizing something?” HH asked. “There’s already the annual bowling tournament that’s happening on Saturday.”
“Are you… are you kidding me right now,” Ichabod squeaked out, suddenly feeling his frustration reach a boiling point.
“Yeah the whole town is gonna be there,” HH explained, completely oblivious to Ichabod’s indignation. “Come to think of it, it’s the perfect opportunity for you to properly meet everyone.”
“If you had a neck I swear I’d be strangling you right now,” Ichabod grumbled, slamming his laptop shut and storming off to his room.
Great, another new crazy person, just what this town needs, the Headless Horseman thought to himself before going back to the living room to continue his nap.
When ask your bestie for some advice on a boy but her new man lives in a castle with three wives and nom noms babies all day long (all night, technically… can’t do garlic, though…)
