#shounen manga

phantomrose96:

Hello! My name is Male Manga Artist, and I’ve got an up-and-coming best seller story to pitch to you!

This is my main character Spunky Boy! He will go through amazing character development, such as remaining spunky for 95% of the story, except for one arc where he becomes dark and angsty. Yes he’ll snap right out of it. The many many human atrocities he witnesses will not faze him, except during 5 minute speeches when he acts like they have.

And now we have Angry Rival Boy! It will be obvious within the first 50 chapters that I actually like Angry Rival Boy far more than Spunky Boy, and I’ll spend the following 200 chapters acting like Angry Rival Boy is the real protagonist.

Can’t forget the women! Here are my three female characters: Titties, Bigger Titties, and No Titties. Titties’ personality is Love Interest. She’ll have an arc where she realizes she should define herself by something other than her love for Spunky Boy, at which point I will effectively write her out of the story because I can’t conceptualize women having any kind of inner lives that aren’t about men.

Bigger Titties’ personality is Refined Older Sister. She has no backstory. Her family is rich. No Titties’ personality is being angry and scorned, especially when every character points out how she has no titties. No Titties will be effectively written out of the story by chapter 50 because I’m not sure what a female character without titties can even do.

Oh, haha! How could I forget! I also have Matriarchal MILF, a 40 year old with gazonga titties and a drinking problem. She is VERY smart and experienced, or at least I say so. She’s stuck up and likes to yell at men. I’ll release a sketch on Twitter of her lounging in her pajamas drinking wine and petting her cat, to show I understand women (her gazonga titties will be bursting out of the pajama top).

The rest of the cast? 47 male characters who all have more character and development than any of my 3 (sorry, 4) women. I’ll forget about 95% of these characters when I get bored of them and write them out of the plot. This is fine because I will come up with 47 other male characters, and a few more no-speaking-role Titty characters I can use to hook new readers by releasing sketches of them on Twitter. I even have one scene planned where a Titty character does something badass and useful while her gagongahonkas flip flap floop flipperoo all over the page. My audience will brand me progressive for this.

Oh? What’s the plot of my show? Haha that’s obvious. Magic. Friendship. There’s some gimmick in this world that is really cool and interesting, and also there is a villain. Do I have the story PLANNED? What do you mean? I already told you all the women’s breast sizes. Do I have an ENDING? Why would I plan to end the story???

What’s that? A 10 year contract?! Great! Yes, thank you, I do think I’m a genius as well. Can’t wait for the tv adaptation to become the next international anime phenomenon!