#sick dog
My poor baby girl life seems to be out to get us at the moment
A deep puncture wound means antibiotics, pain killers and bed rest for N Dog. My heart is breaking watching her in pain and not being able to take it away.
Fingers crossed for quick healing and god help us all when I break the news she’s can’t come running with me for the next while….
Saying goodbye…
I never wanted to have to make this post, but then again I never wanted to have to say goodbye to my best friend. A little backstory:
I’ve always loved animals, from when I was a child and would sneak out during storms to sit with the puppies in the shed so they weren’t scared, to being told there was something wrong with me because I preferred my cousins dog to her kids. I’ve always had a special bond with animals, but nothing prepared me for how attached I’d get to Baby. Last year, I was driving home and saw a dog barking at a boy walking, and knew from his reaction it wasn’t his. As I usually do ( I pick up strays and help find their owners or foster if there is no owner) I lured her to me with a hotdog and for the first time, my sweet girl came to me. She was skittish but so sweet. Her owner came out and explained she wouldn’t come to her.
I drove her home and helped get her on a leash (she wouldn’t allow her owner to leash her) and talked to the woman, who told me that Baby (the gorgeous Shepherd) was dumped in their yard and they’d had her for a while but couldn’t keep up with her getting out all the time, as her husband had cancer. I immediately gave them my number and told them to call me if they ever needed me to catch her. They did, and every time they asked if I wanted her. At the time, I was renting and wasn’t allowed to have animals. I did take her on walks and McDonalds runs and spent as much time with her as I could. Soon, my grandma passed away and I asked if I could take Baby for the weekend. The arrangement was going to be a shared custody type deal.
I never brought her back (except to say hello and visit, but not to stay). There was absolutely no way I could give up on those big, sweet eyes. I hid her in my apartment until I was able to buy a house with a fenced in backyard and give her the home she deserved. I met Baby for the first time in April, 2021. I took her with me in May, 2021. In June 2021, I brought Baby to her forever home where she would be loved and adored until her last day. Some personal things went down in the end of June through July and I was not in a good place. I had a thought out plan about how I was going to end my life. The only thing that kept me from making that decision was Baby. I didn’t trust anyone to take care of her the way she deserved, so for her, I kept going. It feels dramatic to say it, but it is 100% accurate that Baby saved my life. My love and devotion to her gave me a reason to stay, and re-think the situation. She was, in every possible way, my best friend.
Fast forward to March 2022. Baby had become lethargic in the last few months, but I attributed it to her age, as she was almost ten years old. I woke up at 3 in the morning on March 9th and found Baby struggling to breathe with a mass on her neck that seemed to appear out of nowhere. I freaked out and rushed her to the emergency vet nearby. They triaged her and said she was stable enough to go to our regular vet when they opened. We did, and after several appointments and tests, Baby was diagnosed with cancer. At first, they thought it was lymphoma, but all the test results were inconclusive. Many, MANY vet bills and zero concrete answers later, I posted a fundraiser on Facebook asking for help with the costs, as I was told that comfort care was the best option because referring me to an oncologist could run $10,000.
An absolute angel of a woman contacted me and told me she would assist with vet bills if I took Baby to VCA. After sobbing on the phone and expressing a thousand thank you’s, I did. Appointment after appointment, test after test, and still we weren’t sure what was really wrong with my Baby girl. Until we got a diagnosis. (I may not have the wrong word as it is not actually written down in vet records, it just says sarcoma and they told me it was a cancer of the blood and tissue.)
Hemangiopericytoma, a type of aggressive sarcoma. Hemangiopericytomas are a type of rare tumor involving blood vessels and soft tissues.
An aggressive cancer that apparently doesn’t respond well to chemotherapy. With the mass placement, they didn’t feel comfortable doing surgery and chemo wasn’t an option, so they told me we had exhausted the options they had. Defeated but still not willing to give up, we tried a more natural veterinarian who had previously had good results with her type of cancer. Twice a week we drove over an hour away to get concentrated vitamin C infusions and some sort of heat glove therapy while giving her a TON of herbal supplements in a last ditch effort to save her life. On May 10, we went for an appointment and were told that the cancer was not responding to treatment like he had hoped. He said if she didn’t improve by the next appointment, it was time to consider comfort care. I moved the date of her birthday party up (which was going to be a BANGER, btw. I bought her a cute little tutu and like, 90 paw print balloons.) That same night, while at my boyfriends house, Baby was having trouble standing on her own.
We rushed her to VCA (the closest animal hospital open) where they triaged her and put her on oxygen. The doctor came in and told us that Baby had internal bleeding and that she would not recommend taking her home, as it could quickly turn into a crisis. She recommended humane euthanasia in order to have control over our goodbye and make sure Baby had the most peaceful passing possible. I was and am, completely shattered from the loss of my Baby girl. While I knew it was coming, I thought I had just a little more time… We laid her to rest this past Sunday after writing letters and crying (me sobbing).
Now, instead of being able to mourn and recover from the loss of a soul that was so, so special to me, I’m being hounded by the VCA with daily phone calls about paying the bill from the day she passed. I absolutely can not afford this bill with my current financial status and my care credit account is already at its max from the previous bills before we started going to VCA. I have also contacted other organizations who help with these types of debts but no one has responded. Most of the visits were thankfully covered by the sweet woman who stepped up but she is not covering this one and any help to pay this off (or even just sharing to get the word out to someone who can help) and focus on healing my shattered heart would be immensely appreciated. Thank you.
