#silliness

funnytwittertweets:

Lesbian sex has historically also been called a “nameless” or “unspeakable” thing, so my headcanon for all Lovecraft’s horrors is that every unspeakable, indescribable thing (a whole lot) is just lesbian sex.

hopefullyfunnystuff:

memewhore:

@clickbeetle

It’s good to know that the claw that holds up the BattleBots trophy has a pet lizard to go home to.

bogleech:

yellbug:

Deployment.

these were such a massive fad just before I was born that I grew up still seeing dusty old weepuls in older people’s houses and office spaces. There were weepuls around my grade school, the library and doctor’s offices that must have been there for years. Now I don’t see weepuls anywhere at all. New ones or old ones. This is why the world is evil now actually.

Wait a minute…

Dragonborn, Dragonborn
by his honor is sworn
To keep evil forever at bay!

Weepuls were Dragonborn! They are the extinct Dragonborn who were protecting our world and now they’re gone! We’re doomed!

taste-of-ink:

caledoniaseries:

blackkatmagic:

the sheer offensiveness of rereading something you wrote, discovering that, hey, it’s actually pretty good, and then reaching the end, wherein you realize that if you want more you actually have to write it

fuck’s sake 

writers will look at their own WIPs and be like “is anyone gonna finish that” and then close the tab

I’ve done this to myself. The experience is pain.

roach-works:

schaudwen:

lizardlicks:

damnmydooah:

bumblebeebats:

bumblebeebats:

i love when people are like “Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly imagine being asexual, how sad, you’re missing so much…” Bitch!!! You know what’s sad? Being gluten intolerant. If you placed two pills in front of me right now, one which would turn me allosexual and one which would enable me to tear into a freshly-baked oven-warm olive-and-rosemary ciabatta without utterly destroying my body, it would not even be a choice.“hyuhhh-duhhhh aren’t you worried you’ll die alone” aren’t you worried i’ll just launch myself over the bakery counter in our local grocery store one day and stuff croissants in my mouth like a starving racoon til i die and the whole place has to be closed down as a health risk while they peel my bloated body off the linoleum floor? You should be

What i have learned from the tags of this post is that there is a whole community of gluten intolerant asexuals and we are all DESPERATELY horny for bread

I’m not even gluten intolerant and I’d go for the bread

I’m not even ace, but that’s still absolutely fuckin reasonable to me

There is a REASON aces celebrate with cake. ALWAYS CHOOSE BREAD

im allosexual and can eat bread and let me tell you if the choice is sex or bread it’s not even a contest. bread every time.

I’m allosexual, but I’d have to experience sex first before I can definitively state which I’d choose between sex and bread. Because there’s a lot of hype about sex, but some breads are really good, y’know?

setzeri:

Anon edited some neat shoes for Priscilla, so I drew her showing off the new kicks. No more trekking in the snow barefoot.

bongwoter:

chicxibalba:

i just think she’s neat

I was reading Faust in Japanese on a bus today (long story) (literally D :)

and Faust had been having an affair with Helen of Troy’s ghost (LONG STORY) but she had to go re-die and left behind her veil and then her veil turned into clouds

and Faust just like hopped on the clouds and flew away

just

flew away

I laughed so hard and probably confused other busgoers 

neenamonners:

No context Dracula Daily: May 12

Recently the kindergartners at the school where I work have been running around the playground yelling “I’m a vampire!” and I just have to stand there like… do they know? are their parents on the Dracula mailing list? did they find a link to the story somehow?? are they reading our minds???

ladygobpire:

goblins-riddles-or-frocks:

goblins-riddles-or-frocks:

In light of it suddenly becoming Dracula season, I had to make a quiz! Which Dracula character are you?

omg that was quick

yea babey

penny-anna:

so when Spider-man crawls up and down walls like a bug people praise him and call him a superhero, but when I, Count Dracula,

vonvoulf:

surprisedentistry:

surprisedentistry:

shlep is one of the best yiddish words and we don’t talk about it enough

there’s no other word that specifically means 1) i am going somewhere, 2) it is a long and not very pleasant journey and 3) i am complaining about it

Ah, the fellow shlep of the ring

vixenofcourse:

lili-pond:

I dont want to be rude, but Pedro was right