#slythendor

Gryffindor:Slytherin, look, I’m melting butter!

Slytherin:That’s great, Gryffindor. You have now mastered the skills of a hot day.

Ravenclaw: Lesbians! What is your wisdom?

Slytherin:The galaxy is nothing but a cold and cruel wasteland. Our only comfort in life is the warm embrace of our lovers.

Gryffindor:Girls are hot.

Gryffindor: Hitting the gym to release stress is really not as effective as hitting the people who caused the stress.

Ravenclaw:*Backs away slowly*

Slytherin:*Jumps out the window*

Gryffindor:Slytherin, just because a guy talks a lot about a fictional character on a first date doesn’t mean he’s not husband material.

Hufflepuff:Sasquatch isn’t fictional.

Hufflepuff:*whispering to Gryffindor* Gryffindor has no idea I’m high.

Gryffindor:You’re high?

Hufflepuff:I’m sorry.

Hufflepuff: *leaning over to whisper to Slytherin* Gryffindor has no idea I’m high.

Gryffindor: What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Slytherin:First of all, no one should ever be in those shoes.

Slytherin:You’re mad at me.

Gryffindor: I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

Slytherin:Oh, come on, everyone knows that’s worse!

Slytherin:Gryffindor?

Gryffindor:How do you always spot me so easily? I want to know your secret!

Ravenclaw:She says ‘Gryffindor’ every five minutes and sometimes you’re actually there, so it gives the illusion that she can see everything.

Gryffindor:Name a famous clown.

Slytherin:Name a famous clown??? Uhhh. Gryffindor.

Gryffindor:Noooo. I’m the whole circus motherfucker!

Slytherin: Why don’t you take off all that battle armour and slip into something a little more… comfortable?

Gryffindor:I am most comfortable when I am impervious to most physical forms of attack.

Hufflepuff:We aren’t mad, we’re just disappointed.

Slytherin:No, we are mad.

Hufflepuff:Yes, we are. We are livid. But we’re going to let this one slide.

Gryffindor:Thank you.

Slytherin:No, we are not.

Hufflepuff: I’m not a mind reader, Slytherin.