Itincludes alloaros but the term doesn’t mean justalloaro.
Don’t forget about non-sam aros, aromids and others aros who don’t ID as alloaro or aroace.
I’ve been seeing “non-ace aro” to mean “alloaro” in quite a few posts now.
Please don’t forget us.
@ibdora Non-sam aros refer to people who are “just aro”. They don’t define their sexuality.
Aromids refer to strictly aromantic people who are somewhere on the ace spectrum, but may not consider themselves fully ace.
[ID: tumblr user ibdora says: “Aromids? Sam-aros? What are those” End ID]
Any aromids feel free to correct me if my definition is incorrect.
I feel like I’ve seen that term before but have never seen it defined til now. Do you mind if I ask some questions?
So then can the suffix -mid be applied to ace for strictly aces on the aro spectrum? Or is it a term coined cuz of the arophobia/alloarophobia in the community? Do you know if these terms have flags?
Sorry it took so long to reply, I didn’t get a notification for this.
Hi! Term coiner! Thanks for using my original post for definitions!
@smol-grey-tea If you want to ask me any other questions, my ask box and IMs are both always open!
I also want to add that if amids so chose to, they can also be included in ‘nonace aros’. I’ve met someone who calls themself an aro amid because of how much more their aromanticism, even if they aren’t strictly aro, matters to them, and how they identify as arospec but not acesepc, even if they’re ‘technically on the spectrum’ for both, and that’s also perfectly valid!
Color adjusted nonamorous flag because I like the meaning behind this one but the shade of the V really wasn’t vibing with me and that led to me adjusting the whole thing
squish - sort of like a crush, but platonic instead! the terms exact meaning has fluctuated over time, so sometimes this might refer to platonic feelings in a non qp way (friends and not a qp relationship) but sometimes this might be how someone refers to the attraction they feel that makes them want to pursue a qpr!
for example, I have a squish on someone! I’d like to be in a qpr with them, and then we would be qpps!
qprs are a lot more subjective in definition than romantic relationships tend to be! as long as the relationship isn’t romantic/isn’t fully romantic, you can call it a qpr, so play around with your qp dynamics in shipping! have fun and I’m so glad this is starting to take off more!!!
Wanna just add a little more vocab!
Plush - Like a squish, but instead of it being platonic feelings in general, it’s specifically a desire for a qpr with someone. Not as widely circulated as squish and a much newer term, but more specific if you wanna go for that.
Zucchini - A relatively outdated term for a QPP, but you’ll still hear some aros (especially older aros) use it to refer to their QPP, and tbh I think we should bring it back. It was cute af.
I’m also not entireeely sure squish’s meaning has fluctuated? As far back as I can remember it’s always been used in a general way, I think the only real change is that some people use squish to not refer to qp attraction/desire now that plush exists as a term? But even then I think that’s a minority as it’s not as widely circulated. Don’t quote me on that though, because I’m too tired to go digging up on history at the moment.
Another fun fact: You’re not doing aromanticism wrong if you don’t want a qpp.
Yet one more fun fact: Some aros are very tired of well meaning alloros substituting the word ‘qpp’ or 'qpr’ in their amatonormative assumptions about you after they hear you’re aro. Some of us are very tired of alloros treating QPRs as this gold standard Otherwise Acceptable Replacement For Romance: Romance Lite™ which is unbelievably unfortunate considering why the term even exists.
Shout out to aro lesbians this ldov - regardless of what anyone says, your lack of romantic attraction doesn’t make you any less of a lesbian, and this day is yours too!
Green is the opposite of red and pink, which are colors typically associated with romance, and thus the rejection of those things. It is also represents healing from the shame we often feel as romance repulsed people
The off-white represents being considered ‘off’ or unusual, while the circle represents wholeness in spite of that.
Brown represents strength in the face of relentless romance, in our independence as people rejecting things that even resemble romance, and peace with one’s own romance repulsion.
Definition:Someone who, for whatever reason, identifies both as polyamorous and nonamorous.
The colors are blends of thispolyamorous flag and of thisnonamorous flag. Their meanings as a result can incorporate the meanings of their original flags’s colors (at the person’s discretion; the other flags meanings can be found by clicking the links above), and has these additional core meanings:
Dark Navy: Defiance of norms, both within society at large and within the polyamorous and nonamorous communities, with a reminder of those most impacted by breaking those norms
Taupe: Peace of mind and self acceptance
Dandelion: Vibrancy and resilience
Slate: Embracing freedom and the pursuit of what we independently value
Colors are borrowed from thisnonamorous flag, while the format is borrowed from thispolyamorous flag. Meaning is derived from both.
Indigo: Integrity in spite of societal pressure, particularly those who are most hurt by those expectations, which touches every other aspect of the flag’s meaning
Turquoise:Healing, self-sufficiency, and community, rejection of the idea of being ‘incomplete’.
Amber:Chasing joy, independence, and confidence in our non-monogamy and in ourselves.
Magenta: Compassion, harmony, and solidarity, both within our own lives, our own community, and other communities that feel the pressures of an amatonormative society
“ yeah i think labels cause more problems than they solve. yeah i want to keep coming up with more labels to describe myself. we exist” - A good friend of mine
Hello aspecs who aren’t strictly aro and/or ace!
Ever feel alienated by the split between alloromantic-aromantic and allosexual-asexual? Ever feel like you place on the spectrum is a thing all of its own, rather than having to pick a ‘side’? Thought of the non-sam or neu label but found it limiting to omit their sexual and/or romantic orientation?
Well, as someone who’s sexuality, no matter how limited, is deeply important to me, and who is tired of swapping between the labels of non-sam, aroallo, and angled aroace, I decided to coin my own terms! Maybe a community will arise from this, because I know I’m not the only one who feels weird about the divide, and who have not found comfort in the terms neu or non-sam, and perhaps dialogue can arise from that.
ANYHOW.
The flags are all amalgations of the aroace flag by @aroaesflags In place of the orange (community and union) and yellow (forms of love outside of sex and romance) are shades of green for aromantism and purple for asexuality, the multiple shades representing community and diversity among aromantics and asexuals. The middle flag uses shades of grey in place of yellow and orange. The term grey is used for those who find themselves in between a lack of and presence of attraction (greysexual, greyromantic). As the blues represent a combination of asexuality and aromantism, those remain present, as does the white stripe for unity.
Aromid - Someone who is strictly aromantic, but not strictly asexual, while still being on the asexual spectrum.
Alternatively, someone who is strictly aromantic, but not strictly asexual or allosexual.
Amid- Someone who isn’t strictly aromantic or asexual, but on the spectrum of both asexuality and aromantism.
Alternatively, someone who is not strictly asexual, aromantic, allosexual, or alloromantic.
Acemid - Someone who is strictly asexual, but not strictly aromantic, while still being on the aromantic spectrum.
Alternatively, someone who is strictly asexual, but not strictly aromantic or strictly alloromantic.
EDIT: Slight additions to the definitions to adhere to different experiences/be more inclusive.
I’ve been getting a lot of asks/DMs about it so I want to put it put there: If you want to use these labels for whatever reason, even if they’re not exactly 101% accurate, or you want to use one of these labels over the other despite the other being technically more accurate, you can just. Do it. You don’t need my permission. You don’t need my validation. You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I’m not about label policing. If it helps you better understand yourself or you resonate with it just. Go for it, y'know? These might be labels I coined, but they don’t belong to me. You don’t need to ask my permission to use them. They’re for anyone who resonates with them, even if for reasons I don’t understand.
Since I’m tired of DMing people all the time about this, gonna make a post about it.
Aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality. You can be aro and not ace. My blog, while for all aros, has a special focus on aros who aren’t ace.
Tagging posts explicitly about aromanticism and not asexuality as asexuality/asexual/ace/etc, especially while not tagging them as aromanticism/aromantic/aro/etc, contributes to aro erasure and the idea that aromantics are inherently asexual, and is incredibly tone deaf when you consider the audience of this blog.
Using my my posts about aromanticism, especially when most of my posts are targeted towards nonace aros, to talk about asexuality without making meaningful additions, is derailing. For example: Using a general post about amatonormativity to share your experiences is one thing and probably okay. Using a post telling bisexual aros that they don’t need to feel bad for their sexual attraction and that they aren’t feeding into stereotypes by living as their authentic selves to talk about your troubled dating experience as a biromantic ace and how frustrated you are with the expectations of sex people have of bi folks is another and very tone deaf. Don’t get me wrong, that is a genuine issue and one you should absolutely talk about, but maybe not on that post.
Please stop doing this. It’s fine if you as an ace relate to a post, but please be mindful about how you’re engaging with aro content. Please stop centering yourselves around our discussions. Your struggles and issues are valid and many of them overlap, but please please PLEASE be careful that you are actually relating to us or boosting our voices rather than speaking over us.
TL;DR - Aro is not the same as ace. Stop tagging aro content as ace. Stop derailing posts about aromanticism, especially those by nonace aros, to talk about asexuality. Please be mindful of how you engage with aro content.
Itincludes alloaros but the term doesn’t mean justalloaro.
Don’t forget about non-sam aros, aromids and others aros who don’t ID as alloaro or aroace.
I’ve been seeing “non-ace aro” to mean “alloaro” in quite a few posts now.
Please don’t forget us.
@ibdora Non-sam aros refer to people who are “just aro”. They don’t define their sexuality.
Aromids refer to strictly aromantic people who are somewhere on the ace spectrum, but may not consider themselves fully ace.
[ID: tumblr user ibdora says: “Aromids? Sam-aros? What are those” End ID]
Any aromids feel free to correct me if my definition is incorrect.
[ID: tumblr user yanderehiro says: “Okay these words are nothing I have yet heard of, I only know of aro and ace, perhaps aroace. End ID]
Hi@yanderehiro ! As I stated before, non sam aros are aros who don’t define their sexuality. Some non sam aros refer to themselves as "just aro”
Aromids refer to strictly aro people (no romantic attraction at all) who are technically somewhere on the ace spectrum but may not consider themselves fully asexual.
(sorry for the tag, but) @star-allos has more information. I believed they coined to term.
Thanks for reaching out!
No worries about the tag! I am the person who coined the term, correct. It can also refer to someone strictly aromantic who does not consider themself either allosexual or asexual as well (another term this falls under is arohaze). It (and its sister terms, acemid and amid) was a term coined for those who felt uncomfortable with the a/allo dichtomy for part(s) of their orientation but for whom their limited attraction still matters a lot to them, and thus the non sam aro label isn’t quite right for them either.
Hey polyam mspec aros! *Puts a piece of candy of your choice in your palm*
I know it can be tough, feeling like you’re giving mspec and polyam folk a bad name for ‘falling into stereotypes’ due to your aromanticism. You’re not at fault for those stereotypes existing, nor do you hurt anyone by existing as you do; you’re simply living as your authentic self, and that’s to be celebrated! You’re a valuable part of both communities, your unique perspective and experiences is a good thing, and if you haven’t found peace with yourself and your identity yet, I hope you do soon.
Shout out to aros with a really weird relationship to the concept of love that don’t quite fit into labels like loveless or lovequeer. I think we’re neat.
Living as a romance repulsed aro often feels being a dog kept under the logic of owning a fish. The pet owner keeps wondering why the dog tries so damn hard to keep afloat and get out of the tank. Fish Are Pets So Are Dogs And Fish Need Water And Surely That Means Dogs Do Too, so they keep putting the dog back in the tank and submerging it because Fish Need it To Live. It’s not even malicious, because they think this is what will help you, but the end result is still that I am Not A Fish and that water is Suffocating Me.
