slytherin-sarcasm:

“Me working on my five year plan:

Year 1:

Year 2:

Year 3:

Year 4:

Year 5: And then you’ll all be sorry.”

-Slytherin

Slytherins are:

Slytherins are wind coming down the chimney, red cheeks and noses from the cold, they are naturally and perfectly straight hair, slytherins are wearing full and on point makeup one day and no makeup the next, they are fur blankets and silk sheets, sketches on school assignments and old photographs in silver frames, they are snow on evergreen trees and cracked ice in fountains, slytherins are espresso at 9pm and stolen liquor, they are student declared snow days, and cinnamon hot chocolate, they are having that one favourite pen you stole from a gryffindor, and post valantines day candy shopping.