https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-UW3MSdBPk&feature=youtu.be

Slytherin Squad

Slytherins are:

Slytherins are wind coming down the chimney, red cheeks and noses from the cold, they are naturally and perfectly straight hair, slytherins are wearing full and on point makeup one day and no makeup the next, they are fur blankets and silk sheets, sketches on school assignments and old photographs in silver frames, they are snow on evergreen trees and cracked ice in fountains, slytherins are espresso at 9pm and stolen liquor, they are student declared snow days, and cinnamon hot chocolate, they are having that one favourite pen you stole from a gryffindor, and post valantines day candy shopping.

Griffindor *disgusted* : That’s so Slytherin of you.

Huffelpuff *surprised*: That’s so Slytherin of you!

Ravenclaw *tired*: That’s so Slytherin of you.

Slytherin *proud*: That’s so Slytherin of you. *High fives*

Next Gen

Graduated slytherin student: She’s on that Disclosure or whatever…

7th year slytherin: Do you mean Discord?

Left On Read

Gryffindor: I think you like to tease me~

Slytherin to a Ravenclaw: Bro I’m not even fucking responding.

Dude that’s dark

Hufflepuff: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Slytherin, quietly: hopefully in your bed…

Hufflepuff: What was that?

Slytherin: I SAID HOPEFULLY DEAD

Labels and titles

Slytherin: I like to do things subtly.

Ravenclaw: So you’re passive aggressive…

Slytherin: One time in 3rd year, I punched someone because they were making fun of my friend.

Ravenclaw: That’s not passive aggressive.

Hufflepuff: That’s aggressive aggressive.

Intelligent life

Ravenclaw, stargazing: Do you think we are alone in this universe

Slytherin: I hope not.

Ravenclaw: Yea I guess it would be kinda scary if we were.

Slytherin: Well that, and I really want an alien girlfriend.

Ravenclaw: … That’s valid

In a pinch

Slytherin: Like I was saying….

Gryffindor: Enough! The time for talking is over.

Slytherin: I really don’t know if that’s ever true.

Quidditch practice

Slytherin: *whacks a practice ball agaisnt the goal post harshly*

Slytherin captain: Hey! Be careful with my balls, please.

Vibin

Slytherin: *does anything*

Ravenclaw: omg do you HAVE to be so extra?

Slytherin: bro relax I’m litterally just vibing

Bollocks

Slytherin: *throwing a coin at their friend instead of in the swear jar*

Other slytherin, laughing: look I know I’m hot but can yall stop throwing money at me?

Hex Girls

Slytherin: let’s go hex someone. *unbuttons robe to reveal a Quidditch bat*

Other slytherin: You are a delight and I would let you murder me.

*light bulb* Idea

Slytherin: Are you guys up for summoning a ghost? Cause I’m down to get Edison up in here

Study hall

Abbey (slytherin): Bro if you want to help someone write an essay go write mine and go away.

Jo (slytherin): How about you write your own and I’ll fix it when you’re done?

Abbey: damn ok.

to celebrate hitting 5k on instagram i redrew one of my most popular pieces ever. the first version is by far my most reposted work and redrawing it in my current style felt like a well needed cleansing

the slytherin gang are cooler than you 2.0

lilbeanz:

Slytherins are strange…..

…means being ahead of the curve; knowing where the world is going long before it gets there.

…means that you are never caught having made a mistake. It was either not a mistake, actually a twist of good fortune, an accident out of your control, or the error of another - with you choosing which one as needed. There are exceptions: the little slips that you can use to present yourself as but a humble and imperfect human, should this suit your situation.

…is planning your moves so far in advance and with such hidden cunning that it is not until all your opponents have fallen that they realize they were nothing but pieces, and you the only player.

…is knowing when the burden of a broken promise would be too great, and then ensuring that it is honoured. However, should an enemy break a promise, they must be made to feel all that weight and more…

…obviously means playing by the rules. The ones you’ve written, that is.

…means accepting what cannot be changed but saving your energy for when you can actually make a difference.

…is knowing to bite your tongue when speaking will only make things worse.

…means holding a grudge as long as necessary and knowing the value of your own forgiveness.

…means that many of your greatest accomplishments are unfortunately of the kind that should be kept secret.

…means that in any game of betrayal, you are the only one trusted by all, and the only one with a knife poised to strike the back of every other.

…means knowing the difference between irritating pity and actual help, and never telling your troubles to those who will only give you the former.

…is pushing yourself no farther than you can go.

…is having your eyes on every place your opponent isn’t looking.

…is knowing how to exaggerate your sufferings when you need increased sympathy.

…means having the constitution of water, ever flowing and adapting, freezing when pressured and disappearing into the air when freed, and always being the essence of life.

…is having a taste for dark humour.

…means being proud of your story.

…is delegating all the petty tasks to those under you - unless, of course, it is beneficial for your public image to do them yourself.