today while waiting to go into L’s class i overheard my classmate say ‘she (L) looks pretty today’ and 'i never realized how small L is’ and i was so jealous lmao

28.3.22

so I had L yesterday and the class was a little mundane. I was gonna ask her something casual but the time wasnt ever right and she like ran out of class at the end so i couldnt catch her lol. during class she smiled at me and was sweet like usual.

i pretended i forgot my headphones in her class to come back and talk to her you can laugh lmao i knocked on her door and she was eating (a pear for lunch??) so she scrambled to put her mask on and i was like omg sorry for interrupting your lunch!!! and she was like nono its okay come in come in. i was like pretending to look HAHAH THIS IS EMBARRASING OKAY and i said ‘i swear i’ve been so forgetfull latelty’ (i haven’t). and she was so invested in me finding my headphones. she was asking questions and like 'dont worry paula they’re somewhere’ and it was so sweet

in my defense i was having a bad day (daddy issues lol) and i wanted so badly to just see her and talk to her. and she made me feel so much better.

also she has a tattoo on her back…totally wasnt staring. it was just poking out of her shirt. that’s so sweet, i didnt really see her as someone with tattoos but i get it yk? i think its like a butterfly or something but i could only see the top

i have a plan thats sorta weird but im stressed so this is what im gonna do —> we have one more class this week before our 1 week break. i talked to her yesterday and today casually which is good but i dont wanna overwhelm her so i wont say more than 'hello’ and 'goodmorning’ until our next class and then on our next class i’ll talk to her casually and then maybe ask a question on friday right before school ends

GUYS yesterday i was in the hall talking to another teacher right opposite L’s classroom and L came out and stood by her door and once the teacher left she came up to me and said ‘did she call you (sisters name)?’ and she did like a nervous laugh and i said no!! and she reached out her hand to touch me but kinda hovered and said 'good!! i was like that’s paula’ and laughed and i laughed and oh my god

does anyone get SO nervous for their tc’s lesson that they kind of dread it?? maybe im crazy but i have L tommorow and i’m always so nervous and it kinda makes me not like the days i have her bc i get so anxious and ugh

11.3.21

yesterday i had L and i forgot to write about it but it was too great so here we go

okay so L was in a really good mood yesterday. she was laughing and making jokes and being rely friendly. usually she just kind of sits quietly and almost never jokes around with students so i was pleasently suprised that she was feeling happy :) i think she’s been having a bit of a stressful week but it’s coming to an end now so she was a lot of fun in class

so we came into class and sat down and L presented her screen onto the board. i saw that she changed her background again to another photo of her dog and it was super cute. she has been presenting her screen and like leaving it as her background for 5 minutes recently so i got a good look at it lol.

while we were settling down i was talking to my friend. i was talking a lot because we had a deadline and my friend didnt know how to do something so i was explaining it to her. L called me a chatterbox it wasnt mean she was laughing but it kinda embbarased me lmao she said it like 3 times throughout the lesson

and then we were reading stuff of the board and i put my glasses on and she said ‘wow paula, you need glasses?’ and like smiled at me. its funny because ive always needed them but i just wouldnt wear them in L’s class because i didnt wanna look ugly but my doctor recently said i need to wear them more because my eyesight is getting worse and ive worn them like 6 times to her class. i thought she would say something the firdt time i wore them but she ignored it and now 3 weeks later she comments lol

after we were done with the activity she stopped sharing her screen and walked back to her desk. i took this as an opportunity to have a conversation becsuse she was in a good mood and i thought she’d be more chatty than usual

so i said 'hey L, is that a new photo of your dog? he looks adorable!’ and she said that it was and showed me another picture of him!!! and i said his eyes are adorable and she was i know his eyes!!! and then i asked how old he is and she said a year old. and i asked when she got him and she said she got him at 6 weeks old!!! and she told me a bit about him it was great

thats the scary thing about having a tc. you have to always be the initiator. you cant really rely on them to initiare if you want to get closer and it sucks when youre shy like me. i have never been outgoing at all but with L i just say f it and talk to her lol

when the bell rang i got my stuff and left and said 'have a good weekend L!’ and she said 'you too!’ and that was friday.

if you’re still here thank you for reading all that and have a great day❤️ may your next class with your tc be the best one yet

today at lunch i was washing my hands and when i turned around L was there and she winked at me?????? i felt my heart fall right out of my ass oh my god i was taken by suprise i never see her at lunch

today L passed my class and we made eye contact as she went by and FUCK THIS LADY DOESNT KNOW WHAT SHE DOES TO ME

in L’s class we all had to present and at one point show a song to the class and i chose a love song in my language (i didnt mean to its just my favourite song) and i realized that ive attatched L onto my favourite song. i was in the car and it started playing and i couldnt stop thinking of L and how sweet she looked when i played it and the lyrics dont help

tips for anxious tc'ers

having a tc is hard. eveyone knows the feeling of going blank when youre around your tc, or stumbling and choking on your words when you try to speak to them. so i decided to compile a list of tips that i have used that have worked for me (an extremely shy and awkward person) get close to my (extremely closed off/cold-ish) tc. if you’re looking for ways to start a conversation with your tc and make that leap into a more casual relationship - read on.

these tips work well for when you’re both online and on-campus :)

pets.

this is a very good way to talk to your tc when everyone is stuck at home during online school. how many times have you seen a dog running across the frame in your tc’s class? or heard meows in the background? if this every happens, take the leap and ask your tc (preferably after class as not to derail) what their pets name is. when i did this my tc she even sent me some pictures! it’s a great conversation starter and you can ask about the pet again in the future :)

casual segways.

this one is a little trickier and more nerve-wracking and it can be difficult depending on what class your tc teaches, but making the leap is really important. to do this, you have to first be having a class discussion in your tc’s class. for example, one time we were learning about how different cultures celebrate christmas. so i casually asked L how she’d be celebrating and spending her holiday. this turned into a conversation and brought us slightly closer together. asking your tc personal questions related to what you’re learning is great, it shows them you’re interested in both them and the class and everybody loves talking about themselves.

joining/coming to class early for small talk.

i know everyone has sat and waited a couple minutes before joining a google meet so that they aren’t alone with the teacher, but joining early when it’s just the two of you can create some really good conversations. it’s scary and you have to be quick, but joining quickly and giving a quick ‘hi! how are you?’ can create a friendly relationship between you. adding in a 'how was your weekend?’ can create a great conversation as-well.

advice, questions, help.

this is an obvious one, but asking your tc for help or reaching out to them for guidance is a great way to talk to them. if you have assignments or assessments in their class, you can ask for advice or for them to check on your work. the worst part about this tip is actually coming up with a question to ask, lol. you can confirm due dates, clarify details, and ask a question about what to do or how to do something.

compliments (within reason)

everyone likes getting complimented, and when we’re online it can be a great way to lift up your tc’s mood. i wouldn’t go too far with compliments, i’d stick with things like 'i like your shirt’ or “cool earrings!’. another great opportunity is complimenting your tc if they get a new haircut or change something about their appearance. one time, my tc got bangs and i complimented her. this became a conversation and that was one of the first times i really spoke to her! and if you’re worried about being weird or obvious, there have been countless times when ive complimented other teachers on their jewelery or clothes. its always been recieved well.

speak up!

keeping engaged and active during a class is really difficult to do, especially whenever we’re online. a good way to create a good relationship with your tc is engaging in their class! obviously, dont be obnoxious or rude, but answering questions and making jokes can be a great way to liven up a lesson. if your tc asks 'how are you guys’ in your class and nobody says anything, take the leap and answer! it can be awkward and really scary, but trust me it’s worth it. don’t let your tc’s questions go unanswered.

i hope these tips help you guys become more confident and that you have some good conversations with your tc’s after reading this <3

25.2.22

TODAY WAS SO GOOD OH MY GOD THIS IS LIKE THE BEST DAY IVE EVER HAD WITH L IM SO HAPPY

so i had to present and i was really nervous but i went on and i started. i was presenting and some of the stuff i was talking about was new and sort of weird and interesting and when i got to it L let out the cutest laugh ever

she was so interested in what i had to say and asked me questiond and she kept laughing this adorable laugh. it was so fricking cute i cant i loved it

and then while i was presenting she was smiling and laughing and all my jokes landed really well

and at the end we were like discussing some of the things i said and she kept doing that laugh and i had to physically stop myself from turning red and melting. how can a laugh be so intoxicating??? wtf?? how is her laugh the most beautiful sound i have ever heard in my life?????

class was so good im so happy. i cant get over her genuine laugh. everyday i see this lady i love her more. i didnt even think i could love her more than i do but appareantly i can. how can one person be so beautiful and funny and sweet and perfect?

today at dismissal me and a friend were talking while walking down the stairs to get to the car park of my school and there were a lot of pdople like rushing to get home and without even looking up or noticing i hear an angry

‘stay at one end of the stair wellpeople need to get through stay on the other side seriously ’

i just looked up when i hear her and L was stsnding right infront of me going up the stairs. she passed so quick though so i liked blinked and she was gone. she looled really pretty though

23.2.22

ive been challenging myself to make 1 joke or initiate 1 non-school related conversation every class i have with L. and it’s been going well hehe

okay so we came to class and i smiled at L and i sat down and got settled. we had to open a document and everyone was struggling to find it so she went off on a bit of a lecture about being prepared which wasn’t the best way to start my wednesday morning but yk

so then she presented a text thing on the screen and she deleted the tabs to disconnect and her background was displayed of the screen. omg. it was a picture of two dogs together and i was like omg i recognize that dog it’s L’s dog!!! so when she told us to work and passed me i was like

‘omg L is that dog in your background your dog?’ and she was like 'omg yeah hahaha’ and i was like '2???’ and she said her dog had a playdate with another dog and so thats her background photo

thats so fucking cute wtf. she loves this little dog so much i love it. i never thought of L as a dog person, she seems more like a cat person or like someone who doesn’t really like animals. but she turns into this sweetheart with her baby dog and i just love that side of her

nothing else really happened though but i’m really happy with today and i love L and life its great. i’ve been having a really hard couple of days but L makes me feel a lot netter

i forgot to update on yesterday!! i’m not gonna make a whole update post tho cause not enough happened lol

so i was kinda disappointed because L didn’t compliment me or say anything about my outfit :( but also im trying to dress for myself and not need validation so…nothing happened in class bc we were working on something the whole class but we talked a bit and she was cute so :) i saw her today too and she looked so pretty but i looked so tired today (no makeup and glasses) so i like hid lol

also i noticed she has her google chat status thing set to inactive always… i always wondered why her profile is never active. its kinda interesting i wonder why she has it set as inactive