#the maraduers

➴ Summary: He had a chance to change. why did he discard it?

➴ Pairing: Sirius Black / fem!reader (3rd POV).

➴ Warnings: Angst, cheating, underage smoking.

➴ Wordcount: 1.2K

➴ Tagged: @angelaiswriting​@jj-maybnk​

➴ Author Note: No, I’m not in a Harry Potter phase. I am simply posting unposted fics while I manage to finish new ones. You may call it lazy, I call it genius.

Out of all the times Sirius could’ve chosen to cheat he had to do it first week of school. As if walking in on Sirius and Marlene making out in the Common Room hadn’t been humiliating enough, now she had to put up with the gossip, gazes and laughs for ten months. Fantastic.

She scoffed, drawing a long breath of the cigarette between her lips and breathing out the smoke short after, watching it disappear into the wind and fixing her gaze on the moon. Most of her friends warned her about Sirius Black, but she didn’t listen. She thought his intentions were honest, that he had changed and was worth fighting for; in that moment she realized she had been an idiot, a puppet he had used to have some fun and prove himself irresistible. But that wasn’t the worst part, no. She could get over a heartbreak; most people did through their lifetimes. No, the worst part was that Marlene had been her best friend - hell, she even considered her a sister. Somewhere deep in the back of her mind, she had been expecting Sirius to pull something, hell she even had been surprised it took him so long, but Marlene? 

Was she supposed to expect her best friend to betray her like that, even after been friends for ten years? She didn’t know where she went wrong with them, if she had been so horrible to deserve such pain. But one thing was clear, it hurt like hell.

“Enough,” she said out loud, hoping if she did so she’d follow her advice and let it pass. She couldn’t keep thinking about it. She wouldn’t find an answer because there wasn’t a question. Sirius must had been tired of being in a relationship and Marlene must had been a liar all along but she hadn’t noticed. Letting herself fall back against the grass, she finished her cigarette and killed it, throwing it to the side. She had pitied herself enough, now it was time for people to do it - which, she was sure had begun.

It wasn’t as if those two treacherous bastards had thought about backstabbing her in secret to spare her from the public humiliation. She had been one of the last students to go into the Common Room after classes, she was well aware she hadn’t been the first one to see them.

It would be fine, she told herself. Ten months wasn’t that long of a time and before she knew, it would’ve passed. She’d graduate and she would leave Sirius, Marlene and the pain behind as if it never happened in the first place. Yes, it was going to be hard and she would have to put up with a lot of shit and it was going to come from friends, other students and even some of the professors (she was sure Minerva would give Sirius detention twice as much as a form of revenge for hurting her), but there was nothing she could about it. Even if it was going to be fine in the end - and she knew it would, the path there was going to be painful.

She heard footsteps coming from her side, but she didn’t bother to look up to see who it was. It was stupid, weird even, she knew he didn’t care about her feelings - that much had been proved, but she also knew he would look for her to apologize because he couldn’t fathom the idea of someone thinking he was a horrible person for the wrong reasons.

He sat down next to her, looking forward. He seemed tense, nervous even. She couldn’t bother herself to hide the pleasure his discomfort brought her and allowed a humourless laugh to escape her lips. He sighed next to her, forcing his gaze up to avoid looking at her.

She didn’t know when the tears had started to fall, she just knew she didn’t had the strength to wipe them off her face and so, she let them run hoping that he wouldn’t notice.

“I,” he started but stopped right after, the words getting caught in his throat. She couldn’t look at him even if she wanted. He took a deep breath that came out ragged right after. “I came to apologize, and if I have the chance, to explain what happened.”

“You were gonna shag Marlene when I walked in. That’s what happened,” she explained for him. It came out as harsh as she felt the words and he winced. “You can apologize now.”

Sirius turned around, the moonlight was right behind him and so it was difficult to distinguish his features, but even in that moment, from her position on her back she could see the storm that were his eyes, and the redness around them; as if he had been crying too.

He took a breath before speaking, clearing his throat to get rid of the soreness. “I don’t know how it happened and I didn’t want it to happen. It was a mistake and I am, believe it or not, sorry. Marlene had been flirting with me since school started again and then this morning I was in the Common Room waiting for James and Remus and she started talking about how she loved me first and it wasn’t fair that we weren’t together; next thing I know she’s all over me. I know the damage is done but, that is the truth and you had to know.”

His voice came out ragged, sore. He had wasted his throat out prior the conversation. It was for a moment she doubted, until she heard him sniff; that and how he pursed his lips together told her all she had to know. Indeed, he had been weeping as well. She cried for a lost love, for a friendship that had meant nothing, but what did he wept for? What had he lost?

No, she thought. It couldn’t be, even if the thought made her skin tingle. Sirius Black didn’t, and had never loved her. If he had done so, then he wouldn’t have done her like that.

“Now I know,” she said while nodding, breaking apart from her thoughts. Her own mind driving her insane. Her voice cracked and it made Sirius aware that she was sobbing. He tried to touch her but she stopped him, slapping his hand away. “Just leave.”

It was a simple request. Leave. He had broken her, it was painful enough to know she had to see him in the halls, in class, in the Common Room, the last thing she needed was for him to pester her until she forgave him. She couldn’t, not in that moment. The wound was fresh, her heart was ripping apart and she had trouble breathing.

She wanted him to leave, but he didn’t. She sobbed out loud, shaking. It was in that moment she knew, she had reached bottom. It was one thing he knew about her sadness, another to show him how her hopes and dreams for them had died.

Sirius wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, kissing the exposed skin.

He wasn’t leaving anytime soon.