On April 1, 1883, the great Lon Chaney was born! Chaney was and always shall be cinema’s greatest boogyman. With primitive materials and tremendous ability, he transformed himself into the most beautifully bizarre beings in the history of the medium. Master of makeup and maker of monsters, Chaney was the horror film’s first true icon; a genre star before there was even a genre. As a result of having been born to deaf-mute parents, Chaney mastered non-verbal communication and possessed an innate compassion for those with disabilities; both qualities are reasons why Chaney remains an enduring figure in pop culture. Throughout his career, Chaney played a wide variety of misfits, monsters, and madmen, all of whom he brought to life with ingenious makeup of his own creation. His characters were grotesque in appearance, but Chaney endowed them with depth and pathos. Even his most sinister creations had an endearing sensitivity to them; Lon saw the beauty in the beast.
Don’t step on that spider… it might be Lon Chaney!
We sing a song in your head of another phreaky Phantom! In this seldom-seen shocker, Maximilian Schell dons the mask and pursues the woman he believes to be his lost love (it’s Phantom by way of “The Mummy”). In gorgeously gruesome makeup designed by Stan Winston, the Phantom brings down the house… well, the chandelier, anyway! Listen to the haunting music of “The Phantom of the Opera,” the 1983 TV version!
We just LOOOOOOOOVE a love story! Call us “soft,” but we have hearts, too! (We keep ‘em in the freezer.) We mean, love is the ineXXXorable force that drives and propels most ho-rror stories! Without love, the Phantom of the Opera has no reason to stalk. the Mummy remains under wraps, and King Kong would’ve never climbed the Empire State Building. Love’s created more movie monsters than black magic and mad science combined! It’s the secret ingredient that turns a barbarous brute into a tragic figure. Monsters fall in love so very often, but they are destined to have their hearts broken in more ways than one. That makes for great macabre melodrama! And, if you ask us, that makes the average monster movie a love story. Like we said, we love a love story!
With Valentine’s Day here, we figured we’d pay tribute to love with five of our favorite romantic horror/monster movies. Because we don’t want to be too sour for the sweethearts, we’ve even included one in which the creature gets the girl! Snuggle up next your BOIL or GHOUL FIEND, gorge on some chocolate (preferably dark), and watch one of these mad love stories.
1. “Beauty and the Beast” (1946): Tale as old as time… and the skeleton of nearly every creature feature! You just can’t talk about romantic monster stories without at least mentioning the fabulously fantastic French fable. Jean Cocteau’s seminal retelling is pure cinematic bless, rich with indelible imagery and eerie elegance. It has influenced everything from Disney’s “Haunted Mansion” attraction to the 2004 version of “Phantom of the Opera.” My! What a guy, that Cocteau!
2. “The Abominable Dr. Phibes” - “Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Ugly” was the tagline for this blacker-than-a-widow comedy that marries Phantom of the Opera (another Phantom reference! Take a swig!) with a uniquely British sense of humour to eXXXcellent effect. Vincent Price plays a disfigured organist who seeks to avenge the death of his beloved by picking off the surgical team behind her ill-fated operation. Love is what motivates the good doctor, and his comic campaign of carnage is just perfect for a vile, violent Valentine’s!
3. “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”: The Bela Lugosi “Dracula” may have been released on Valentine’s Day, but no version of the venerable vampire tale is more appropriate for the holiday than Francis Ford Coppola’s take from 1992. Dracula was given a Mummy-esque romance with the reincarnation of a long-lost love. Dazzling filmic techniques and operatic theatrics are what gave this adaptation the fresh blood it needed. Recommended for love-fools and blood-suckers alike.
4. “The Fly” (1986): The gooiest love story ever told! David Cronenberg’s celebrated remake of the 1958 sci-fi favorite is a heartbreaking romance in which one of the lovers is quickly devolving into a hideous insect man. Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum’s onscreen chemistry is absolutely superb, and it gives pathos to the magnificently morbid spectacle on display. Love is the deadliest pesticide of all.
5. “The Shape of Water”:Guillermo del Toro’s Oscar-winning fairytale reimagines the Creature from the Black Lagoon as a storybook prince. Unlike just about every other creature feature, this drama actually ends rather happily. Doug Jones and Sally Hawkins are utterly bewitching as beauty and beast, Del Toro’s direction is incredible, and it is as touching as a movie about a fish monster can be. And they called it “guppy love”…
6. “The Phantom of the Opera” (1925): There’s a reason why we mentioned this in two of the previous entries: it’s THE ho-rror love story. Phantom’s one of the only classic terror tales that is as synonymous with romance as it is with fear. The Phantom himself is a darkly romantic figure who still captures the hearts of pop culture fans to this very day. As a special Valentine’s gift to you crypt-kickers, we have the entire film here for your enjoyment! (It’s better than candy hearts!)
In ho-nor of Valentine’s Day, we present the embodiment of romance itself: a disfigured psycho who lives in a sewer! The Phantom of the Opera is almost as synonymous with love as he is with fright, so we thought we would showcase the softer side of the Opera Ghost with this sweeping number from the popular Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. Listen to… “The Music of the Night!”
