transguy-sex-advice:

Topping with a strap-on as a trans guy

To start, please note that these might also be relevant to cis women who use strap-ons and I don’t intend for this advice to be exclusionary and anybody can take it and use it. But due to this being a trans guy sex advice blog I will be using language to direct it at trans guys and trans masculine people.

A few bits of advice for people starting out with strap-ons (particularly those with no t-growth)

• If using a harness, keep it tight. You’ll lose control if it loosens so don’t be afraid to check the straps as you go. Your partner probably won’t even notice.
• Depending on your body shape, try different angles for the strap-on itself. Try out the strap-on solo to see how it fits you and get used to it to gain confidence before introducing it to a partner.
• Some guys need more mental stimulation to compliment the physical sensations. It’s a good idea to communicate with your partner before and during sex.
• If you are finding a lack of sensation (i.e. rubbing), consider using a tingling/cooling/warming lube on your clit/t-dick/growth to increase what you can feel.
• If you’re a larger guy or have a bit of fat on your pelvic area sometimes this can get pushed down over your clit/t-dick/growth and reduce sensation, it can be a good idea to pull it up and tighten your harness if this happens.
• Remember that regardless of the dildo size your own dick will be smaller so don’t stick with big movements that work best for a big dick. Often smaller movements have more affect for a smaller dick. Find out what works for your body.
• Also try to keep movements smaller (and harder if you both like), because it’s easy to slip out.
• If using a strap-on for anal - go crazy with lube! Most toys are made of silicone or other materials that are smoother and easier to insert than flesh penises but they still need a lot of lubrication to ensure a good fun time.
• Discuss areas of dysphoria with your partner. Do you want them to talk about the strap-on as though it is your penis? Do you want them to touch/avoid other parts of your body when you are topping? What affirming language would you like them to use?
• Be clear on hygiene. Wash your penis every time you have sex. It’s a good idea to keep wipes handy to give it a quick wash before after-sex cuddles, but give it a proper wash according to instructions later (or email the supplier for advice). Especially if using toys for anal use and doubly so if you are using the same toy for anal and vaginal sex.
• Consider condoms to ease cleaning or, again, if using a toy for both anal and vaginal sex consider using condoms for one of them because you don’t want them butt germs getting in a vagina it’s not fun. Condoms with special traits such as ribs/dots or warming/tingling lube are also great.
• ABOVE ALL - always try to be as open with your partner as you can about your desires and your needs. If they aren’t willing to listen then I’m willing to bet that it’s not worth having sex with them.
• ALSO - sexual interest change. Just because you liked/didn’t like something at some point doesn’t mean it will always be that way. Keeping communication open with your partner means you can try and retry things as you both feel comfortable.
• And AS ALWAYS - don’t let anybody tell you how you “should” have sex. Some trans guys top, some bottom, some are verse. Some receive anal or give anal, some don’t like it. Don’t feel as though just because you’re transgender that you have to fulfill any role sexually that you are not comfortable with. Don’t let anybody tell you you are any less trans/gay/straight because of how you have sex. You do you folks.

Look after yourselves!!