#trans farmer
(Butternut)
I’ve taken nearly two months off baking to care for a chronic health issue and I’ve missed it so much. If it weren’t for Farm Girl I wouldn’t be baking at all! Her gentle encouragement to see an Occupational Therapist, her massages, her helpfulness around the house and her constant love and affection have given me the power to get back into the swing of my passions.
1) Challah rolls
2) Peanut butter silk pie
3) Pumpkin and apple pies
4) Challah loaves
5) Dark chocolate custard pie
6) Mixed turnovers and muffins
7) Lattice apple caramel pie
8) Blueberry pie
9) Soft pretzels
(Butternut)
I offhandedly mentioned some projects I needed to start slogging through to FG over the weekend. Like a lot of folks who deal with long bouts of depression I struggle with “projects”. When something breaks when I’m not feeling my best self, I let it sit. And when I feel better I often feel anxious or guilty for letting them fall into disrepair.
FG showed up on Monday with her toolbox in her hand and a smile on her face ready to fix my dishwasher, snowblower, install my bidet and clean my filthy kitchen. She walked me through each repair and shared the absolute joy of the snowblower (FINALLY) firing up.
Watching her tinker is always super sexy to me. She’s really good at it. When she shows me things she’s always gentle and encouraging and never chastises or teases me for not knowing how things work or not taking care of them sooner. Her eagerness yo help and her delight when she gets something to work just bowl me over.
Seriously, my Handy Girl is just…Swoon-City, Baby!
(Butternut)
Date Night ft. Crab Cakes!
Farm Girl and I had a beautiful day yesterday tackling the new challenge of making homemade crab cakes for ourselves and our friends. It’s almost FG’s birthday and the farm season in winding down. It’s been a tough year at the farm. Lots of changes, lots of work, a hard time finding labor, and lots of challenges FG has been facing in her personal life. I’m so happy to spend the weekend celebrating her and the close of the harvest season.
I couldn’t wait until Sunday to share my gift! I picked out some pieces of jewelry a mutual friend made and presented them to her to choose. She picked exactly the piece I thought she would (this gorgeous silver and mixed metal ginkgo cuff) and it looks perfect on her wrist.
I absolutely loves revisiting FG’s childhood memories eating crab with her family and spending time with her Grammy. Seeing her tear up over the familiar sights, sounds and smells of her childhood made my heart so full. She’s such a gorgeous, tender bean I’m so happy to have in my life <3
(Butternut)
This weekend didn’t go the way we planned. It was raining so camping wasn’t an option. We couldn’t find the crab for our crab cakes. We were too tired to get to all the things out list. We felt tender and emotional and raw.
But we were together. And we took care of each other. And we were in love.
Farm Girl is feeling down about a lot of very real things. Transitioning is bringing along with it a lot of anxieties about herself and her place in her community. My heart breaks hearing her fears about standing out, not passing and being isolated in her rural community. I feel so much for her I’m teary eyed just writing this. I want to hold her and protect her and make everything better, but I can’t. I feel like my hands are tied and the hopelessness slips in now and then.
But then I hold her and kiss her and fall asleep with her in my arms and the world is still there the next morning. We snatch happiness with hands eager to cling to hope and goodness. This weekend was full of tender moments and teary parking lot talks, but it was also full of laughter, touch, farm family time, snacking on salmon and cheese, massages, adventures, and so, so much love.
I wouldn’t miss a second of this life with my darling Farm Girl.
Went grape plucking with my favorite les-bean. The weather was crisp and the concords were perfect!
Living the queer cutie dream!
